We try to kill SCP-682

Result: SCP-682's lungs adapted to negate the health detriments of marijuana.

On the plus side, SCP-682 stoned out of his mind is pretty hilarious, even if he isn't sedated much. - Dr. Anomalocaris

Test: Send a small army of SCP-705 inside it, so they can attack its insides.

Result: Failure.

Little Play-Doh soldiers? seriously? I'm glad someone was smart enough to hold on to part of SCP 705 or we'd be down one miniature army creator. - Dr. [REDACTED]

Test: Attempt minor cross-over event and hit it with a kami-hame-ha. Once again, testing range will be deep space orbit where locomotion is impossible without engines.

Hopefully this time the engineers will verify that there isn't sentient life near the target zone this time. We still owe the Empire a Death Star. - Dr. Trooper.

edited 10th Apr '14 8:19:24 AM by pionoplayer

Result: Aborted (Lines was crossed out and the text "SEE BELOW" are writen above it)

"We don't want the Original user. We want the guy who Actually uses alot, Dr.X." -Dr.Hax

Test: Search for console command "Buddha" and use the Physgun and the Toolgun.

edited 10th Apr '14 1:03:23 PM by muted

Result: Failure, The Command failed to remove his regeneration, so he regenerated from the attacks. Test, Hook him up to twitch plays Pokemon lets see how well he does when he's being controlled by 10,000s of people at once.

Result: failure. We can now officially say that democracy is the dumbest form of government.

Test: Toss him in a black hole. Even if he somehow survives that, he won't be coming out until after the human race goes extinct.

Result: Failure. SCP-682 cannot be sent into a black hole, as there are none close to the earth.

Test: Use a reality warper to send SCP-682 into the Reapers Game. As it despises humans, it will be unable to form a pact with another player, and be erased from existence 7 minutes later.

Result: failure. It came back somehow, though we weren't able to monitor the SCP during the experiment.

Test: wait until the Big Rip.

Result: Canceled. Once the big rip happens, nothing will really matter anymore.

Test: Send SCP-682 into the Reapers Game again, but this time inform it that it will have to win the game in order to return to Earth without repeating the experiment. Supply a reality warper to assist SCP-682 in the Game. Once they reach the Conductor, have the reality warper transform into him. Then, absorb SCP-682 into reality warper/Conductors noise form. Then, have the resulting Noise erase itself, but have the reality warper escape at the last minute back into the normal world. SCP-682 should be erased along with the fusion.

"Just make sure it doesn't get the Darklit Planets pin set. If it does, we're screwed." Doctor Sakuraba-

Result: Apparently it had the pin set.

Test: get the five hundred most powerful beings in all of Marvel and DC to concentrate all their cosmic power onto him and destroy him.

edited 15th Apr '14 8:34:00 PM by foxmccloud4387

Result: SCP-682 learns to adapt and grows stronger from the exposure.

Test: Cover SCP-682 in many tall cups of nothing as vended from SCP-294.

edited 16th Apr '14 9:52:05 AM by lewattoo

Result: Failure. SCP-682 evaded all attempts to place the cups, and at one point ATE one.

Test: Expose it to extremely cold temperatures. Then extremely hot. Repeat the process for 20 minutes, and at the same time attack it with sonic weaponry. If that fails to work, drop an apple on it. Then drop the frickin moon.

edited 16th Apr '14 10:01:13 AM by Ventus-Vanitas

Result: Failure. The other things didn't hurt it, and it ate the moon.

Test: Try everything we haven't yet tried

Result: You just broke the universe.

Test: Have Red Pikmin swarm at it.

Failure. He swallowed the Pikmin, adapted to them, and now has the ability to summon lizards from the ground.

Test: Retry the Entropy Experiment, but hire Imperiex to control the blast.

Result: [[REDACTED]]

"So what actually happened, Dr.X?" ~Dr.Hax. "Something, Dr.Hax."

Test: Backstab 682 TF 2 style.

edited 17th Apr '14 9:09:39 PM by muted

Failure: SCP-682 spat out the moon at his assailant.

Test: Use a reality warper to remove 682s memories, and replace them with memories of being a agent of the Foundation. Convert it's biological makeup into a humans, and face any attempts of its DNA to resist with focused rays of the Omega Effect, which in turn will convert them back. Then, finish what we started and use 682, now given the name of Steven Atyoo to a facility that scans his brain and biological makeup for the lizards DNA and original memories, and remove them if necessary. Reclassify Abel as SCP-682. We will now have a new agent.

Result: SUCCESS. But 682 was too important, the worldly host resummons the original 682 back. She erases the outcome with the mark of "REJECTED" on the report.

W.Host: I don't get it with you nerds. Abel: Man. 682: I'm too important to her you [[REDACTED]] [[REDACTED]]!

Test: Tell the Worldly Host to engage 682.

W.Host: Why me? "Dr.X You shouldn't be messing around with the Worldly host." ~Dr.Hax 682: Am I really that bad you [[Illegible]]?

Result: Failure. The worldly host doesn't take orders from us.

Test: Retry turning 682 into a agent of the foundation, except use it on Able, The Burning Man, Baba Yaga, the being that lurks just beyond this world, The Worldly Host, XANA, The Titanium Dreamweaver, and Cain. Oh, and any SCP that happens to be hostile. Then use the new Task Force Alpha Omega to attack 682. Failing that, retry it but fuse them all together to make Task Force Infinity Omega, and restrain 682 with hair, and assassinate at with bladed weapons. Due to the fusion of The Statue and The Shy Guy, if SCP 682 does ANYTHING he will die. "This, is the ONLY way." The Administrator.

edited 18th Apr '14 12:34:47 PM by Ventus-Vanitas

Result: Test cancelled. Those SC Ps are all too volatile to mess with like that.

Test: Make it watch Fox News

Result: Failure. It appeared to work, with 682 dissapearing into thin air, when suddenly he arose out of a pocket dimension, wearing a turquoise shirt, orange hair, and light brown pants. He then proceeded to work for FOX until apprehension.

Test: Use a Starbound Spaceship and have it slam into him at hyperspace speeds. As he is launched through space, have Sho Minamimoto appear and use a combo kick on him, while saying that it doesn't exist. Then have the Rheta Mech appear and shoot it with a laser cannon, and bomb it with explosives. At the same time, have Doomsday appear and snap him in half. Finally, have very single Lantern Corps, Imperiex, Superman, The Presence, and Akriloth Prime tear through his body, weakened by cosmic rays, and finish it off with a Railgun beam fueled by The Hateful Star.

"Suffering, Obtuse, Hatred, Cake, Anguish, Torture, Oblivion and Absolution. Those are the ingredients to 682's doom. Dr. Minamimoto-

Result: testing denied due to infeasibility. Most of these people want nothing to do with us and one of them is our direct enemy. They aren't going to do what we want.

Test: make a bunch of copies of SCP-682, thus causing all of them to become much weaker due to conservation of ninjutsu.

edited 20th Apr '14 6:01:33 PM by Know-age

Result: They simply fused together. OH F*&$ Dr. Redacted.

Test: Put it in Mr. Giovanni's wild ride.

Result: Failure. Giovanni was swallowed by 682.

Test: Give it 10 Qwardian Power Rings. Have him fight Sinestro. The failsafe should bring 682 to the point of near death, and then send it through a portal to the Reapers Game again. Close the portal. SCP-682=Not our problem.

Result: Failure. SCP-682 eschewed the rings and simply ate Sinestro. Subsequent attempts to contain it failed for obvious reasons.

Test: Put it against all of the strongest opponents we've had it fight before, except this time make them all powered by the incoherent rage and blind favoritism of their greatest fanboys/fangirls.

Result: SCP-682 simply repeated the solutions used to beat them last time and eradicated each one sequentially. The fans were too busy arguing over which opponent was the most badass to be of any help. They served a good, extra meal for SCP-682.

Test: Isolate it in the centre of an evacuated city and have all incarnations of Godzilla atomic blast him multiple times, then converge on the centre and gang up on what's left of him. If it doesn't work, it'll make for a spectacular battle anyway.