We try to kill SCP-682

Reuslt: Tried that already, he popped out through the other side.

Curse you good portal mechanics, blah, blah. ~ Dr. Crunch

Test: Ask SCP 315 about him.

edited 23rd Feb '14 9:21:58 AM by ShadowSharpedo

Result: Failure. An unknown researcher recorded 75 hours of hardcore [DATA EXPUNGED} on the remaining 28 DVD's, rendering the entire collection useless.

"Has anyone seen my DVD's?" ~ Dr. [REDACTED]

Test: Have SCP-682 fight Zalgo.

Result: Zalgo no longer exists.

Test: Use the least powerful memory erasing methods and if that fails to erase it's memories use the most powerful memory erasing methods and if THAT fails then use the least powerful memory restoring methods and if they fail to erase the overgrown lizard's memories use the least powerful memory restoring methods.

"This way we'll be able to erase the brute's memories irregardless of it's bizzare biology" - Dr. Alto Clef

Result: Administration of amnesiacs was successful. However, SCP-682 remained aggressive and dangerous, even without memory of its previous rampages, just as it was when first brought into SCP custody.

Test: Use SCP-963 to turn it into a Dr. Bright host.

Result: We've tried that already, didn't work then won't work now.

Test: Make it fight Zeus.

RESULT: Zeus immediately struck down the D-Class that we sent to ask him. The body had a note reading, "I've fought titans, I've fought Gaia, hell, even Typhon. And I would rather fight them all a hundred times rather than fight that... THING. -Z".

TEST: Persuade Thalia to persuade Zeus to gather the Olympians and the remaining Titans and Gaia to kill 682.

Result: All of them are dead.

Test: Send him so far into the future(billions of years or so) to a point in time where Humanity is not to be found on the planet Earth. And send Death Phantom(and the Black Crystal planet Nemesis) from Sailor Moon to that same point in the future after him for good measure.

"Death Phantom better not target humanity while ignoring SCP-682 if he knows what's good for him." - Dr. Clef

edited 25th Feb '14 2:55:49 PM by MickeyFrogeater

Result: SCP-682 defeated everyone and somehow skipped so far forward in time that he went past the big bang and came back to present time.

"[EXPLETIVE DELETED]" ~Dr. Clef

Test: Have it fight SCP-1370

Result: 1730 introduced itself as the "Patheticon" and proceeded to attack 682. After 3 minutes of 682 laughing 1730 somehow managed to put its fist through its own own face. 1730 was removed and 682 had a laughing gas effect for about 20 minutes.

Test: Let's try time ramming it.

edited 28th Feb '14 5:14:27 PM by ShadowSharpedo

Result: Failure; now we have two 682s fused together.

Test: Challenge it to another match of Duel Monsters. [[Yu Gi Oh Dartz. wielding all three Egyptian God Cards; [Ra: 5000/4000] [Obelisk: 4000/4000] [Slifer: 6000/6000] [the Divine Serpent: Infinite/Infinite] and the Six Signer Dragons in their Limit Over Accel Synchro forms, all backed by the Seal of Orichalcos]] vs 682.

At this rate, I'll rather contend with the Great Leviathan than that damn reptile... Seriously, what in the blue hell can it do against all of those? - Dr Crunch

edited 2nd Mar '14 3:05:18 AM by SnarkyAce

Result: Sucess, SCP-682 lost a children's card game.

test: make it play a game of Magic: The Gathering.

Good... We have finally defeated 682! Now, it's soul will be sacrificed to the Great Leviathan.

- Seal closes in on 682, before splintering -

[EXPLETIVE REDACTED] - Dr Crunch.

That must've been one intense magic game.

Test: now make it play the Naruto TCG

Result: 682 was confused and breached containment.

Test: Can we try making it play any CDI game?

Result: partial sucess. After being made to play a Zelda CDI game, the subject let out a scream of pure agony that killed 3 D-class personnel, and afterwords mutated into a form with no sensory organs of any kind for two(2) hours. In spite of the possible utility these games could serve as a means of containing SCP-682, further research into the matter has been forbidden, due both to ethical concerns and the possibility that the subject could learn to weaponize them.

Test: Make it fight the Egyptian Gods.

Result: Egyptian gods retroactively nonexistent.

[EXPLETIVE] that [EXPLETIVE] [EXPLETIVE] [UNINTELLIGIBLE ANGRY RAMBLING]. -Dr. Graph

Test: Use Evangelion Unit 01, preferably berserk.

Result: Test failed. Evangelion Unit 01 has been terminated, and SCP-682 now has an AT field and an S2 engine.

Test: Convince the entire world that SCP-682 doesn't exist, and via consensus reality, make it become true

Result: Failed. For we know SCP-682 exists, and to activate consensual reality, we must be aware of him.

Test: Trick him into stepping on a Lego.

Guys, it's over. 682 has been terminated.

It was a pleasure to work with you all.

...

I don't suppose that anyone else remembered the 682 tissue samples? They just fused back into another Nightmare Lizard.-Dr. O'Malley.

Oi. Don't derail the thread.

Test: SAME AS ABOVE

Result: 682 let out a roar of pain after stepping on the LEGO brick, and thrashed until the LEGO brick was dislodged from its sole. Attemps at adding more blocks to its chamber resulted in SCP-682 adapting pocks on the soles of its feed designed to comfortably interlock with the LEGO nubs. Testing discontinued.

Test: While it's asleep, secretly replace the containment chamber with an infinetsimally smaller chamber each night, gradually shrinking its living space without it noticing, until it is eventually compressed and killed once the chambers are too small for it. It could be just crazy enough to work.

edited 3rd Mar '14 11:17:01 PM by Anomalocaris20

Result: It's less then a centimeter now. It still hates.

Test: Throw a Mary Sue at it

Result: SCP-682 gets annoyed with her perfection and eats her.

Test: Send SCP-682 to the heat death of the universe

Result: inconclusive. I'll get back to you in a while.

Test: make it fight 200 SCP-173s.

edited 8th Mar '14 8:07:03 PM by Know-age