First: Is this the right place? I didn't know where to put it.
The Sitch: I'm working on a Slipstream/New Weird novel that incorporates elements of various things into a SOOPERSEAKRIT idea stew, with a fun order vs chaos plot to tie it all together. I'm working on two collections of poetry, with a third on the distant horizon. I'm working on a collection of Sci-Fi short stories. So although I LOVE this bloody idea, I just don't have time at the mo to write it (yes, I know I'm on tvtropes - this is pretty much my only leisure time). So, if anyone else likes any aspect of this idea, I'd really like them to take it off my hands! It's burning a hole in my MIND!
The Pitch: This is about E.T. E.T. never made sense to me. Apart from the issue of how a creature that invented faster-than-light travel ended up being so profoundly dumb (in a slow learner kind of way), there's the issue that he looks like he's evolved specifically to be slow, weak and (being fur/hair/tooth/horn/hoofless) easily edible.
So Yeah. The idea is, he IS slow, weak and easily edible for a very good reason. He is a quasi-sentient being, specifically bred by an omnivorous inter-galactic race IN SECRET for the purposes of being eaten.
The race is in the minority amongst the largely herbivorous races of The Federation, mistrusted but tolerated because, due to their Omnivorous origins, they had a huge head-start on medical knowledge, especially anatomy. There is a lobby within the race itself to get the race recognised as sentient, but the corporation that acts as the de facto government for the species represses any evidence that the nummy, nummy species E.T. belongs to is sentient - mostly because this would probably result in war with all the herbivorous races at once.
At the start of the film, E.T. accidentally blunders his way into escaping. The human government is desperate to re-capture E.T., because as an omnivorous species ourselves, we have been carefully nurtured throughout our history to support the omnivorous space-race, and develop as a fledgling star-faring civilisation - in fact, the language of English itself was carefully seeded by the race in question, in order to more easily facilitate communication with at least some humans (Note: this may seem contrived. That's because it is. This is a sort of Feghoot in some ways, I must warn you. Yes, to the sharper amongst you, I am afraid that IS in fact the joke :P).
Thus two forces sharing the same goal and approximate ideals go on the hunt to capture the escaped alien, which is displaying clear signs of admittedly very basic levels of sentience - most inconvenient from the point of view of intergalactic relations. Hilarity Ensues, as well as many comic misunderstandings.
The end of the movie is therefore a massive Downer Ending, as E.T. goes off to his inevitable slaughter. Oh, and what the owner-omnivorous-species call these peaceful little bags of delicious meat? Why, Eaties, of course!
Summary: I realise there are parts that need work or complete scrapping. But I just don't have the time to do that kind of ruthless editing of what is essentially a synopsis of something unwritten. Instead, I'm posting the entire story as it exists in my head here, in the hopes that someone, or some people, can salvage SOMETHING from it. I just like the idea of it
Final Note: I would dearly love to read anything that was even tangentially inspired by this incoherent ramble.
First: Is this the right place? I didn't know where to put it.
So Yeah. The idea is, he IS slow, weak and easily edible for a very good reason. He is a quasi-sentient being, specifically bred by an omnivorous inter-galactic race IN SECRET for the purposes of being eaten.
The race is in the minority amongst the largely herbivorous races of The Federation, mistrusted but tolerated because, due to their Omnivorous origins, they had a huge head-start on medical knowledge, especially anatomy. There is a lobby within the race itself to get the race recognised as sentient, but the corporation that acts as the de facto government for the species represses any evidence that the nummy, nummy species E.T. belongs to is sentient - mostly because this would probably result in war with all the herbivorous races at once.
At the start of the film, E.T. accidentally blunders his way into escaping. The human government is desperate to re-capture E.T., because as an omnivorous species ourselves, we have been carefully nurtured throughout our history to support the omnivorous space-race, and develop as a fledgling star-faring civilisation - in fact, the language of English itself was carefully seeded by the race in question, in order to more easily facilitate communication with at least some humans (Note: this may seem contrived. That's because it is. This is a sort of Feghoot in some ways, I must warn you. Yes, to the sharper amongst you, I am afraid that IS in fact the joke :P).
Thus two forces sharing the same goal and approximate ideals go on the hunt to capture the escaped alien, which is displaying clear signs of admittedly very basic levels of sentience - most inconvenient from the point of view of intergalactic relations. Hilarity Ensues, as well as many comic misunderstandings.
The end of the movie is therefore a massive Downer Ending, as E.T. goes off to his inevitable slaughter. Oh, and what the owner-omnivorous-species call these peaceful little bags of delicious meat? Why, Eaties, of course!
Final Note: I would dearly love to read anything that was even tangentially inspired by this incoherent ramble.
edited 15th Nov '10 1:16:31 PM by mmysqueeant