World's Cutest Direwolf
Or read the book, which is really fucking good and contains additional information like how exactly Fezzik ended up unemployed in Greenland. Aw, we don't get to find out who the three outlaws are yet?
On the proofreading side of things, you slip into present tense for Asuna's escape and Evan's ship has balck sails, which is a no doubt mighty and sinister form of sail I fear your readers will be unfamiliar with.
They ARE mentioned as being 'poor lost circus performer librarians'...
World's Cutest Direwolf
Ah, so this is one of those stories that works better if you read all the words.
So if you go through with the whole thing, which of the three gets to die?
So, UQ is officially the timeline where Asuna doesn't go back, or at least the timeline the one who goes back comes from. Any bets on whether the ending hinges on Ala Alba from the other world showing up and beating up bad guys while Touta God-Mode Sues everything?
What I love is just how horrible everything is without her. "Global Warming! Mass Terrorism! Rise of Anti-Foreign sentiment! Wealth gap increases!"
To be fair, the chain of events that Asuna's absence caused that led to all the horrible shit in UQ is at least rather plausible.
For Want Of A Nail, indeed.
edited 13th May '18 7:40:33 PM by Cganale
The 9th spell has been revealed. Ugh.
Just another weeb
What is it?
Regardless of your opinion of the last American election, we can all agree on one thing- The Chinese Communist Party can choke on scrotes!
Basically a soul-destroying spell. He intended it for the count since as a demon, he's a spiritual being.
Didn't we already know that? I'm confused now.
"And as long as a sack of shit is not a good thing to be, chivalry will never die."
Only by inference. Here it's finally text.
I thought Herman explicitly said it when he told Negi to kill him...
"And as long as a sack of shit is not a good thing to be, chivalry will never die."
I'm more miffed its a spell that he picked up in school, that somehow he can only use it because of his relation to the Lifemaker, and its a technique the Lifemaker created in the first place.
Just another weeb
Wait what?
Regardless of your opinion of the last American election, we can all agree on one thing- The Chinese Communist Party can choke on scrotes!
That's really about it. Its literally called the Hand of Ialda, and Negi thinks because he's her descendant he can use it...by letting her possess him and letting it kill them both.
...
Why would a spell only two people in the world can use be anywhere in a school?
"And as long as a sack of shit is not a good thing to be, chivalry will never die."
You know how dragons hoard gold and jewels?
Wizards do the same with knowledge and spells. And schools tend to be a place of learning where knowledge is stored and distributed accordingly. The spell in question must surely have been in the forbidden section, where we have seen Negi break into frequently during his school years.
Oh for God's sake!
![[up]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/smiles/arrow_up.png "[up]"){kind=icon}
Then the wizards at that school need to improve their security. Nothing good can be said about a school when it can be outsmarted by a 10 year old.
Plus if literally no one can use it why put it in the forbidden section?
edited 25th Jun '18 12:16:41 PM by Archivist10
Maybe it wasn’t. Maybe it was publically available due to being assumed to be a non-functional spell.
Oh for God's sake!
This only applies in UQ. Besides, it WAS in the forbidden areas. Did you even read the manga?
I'm more floored by Negi somehow mistaking Eva for his mother, and promptly swapping spit with her twelve pages later, albeit after a time skip.
...so that's two protagonists that have hots for their mother figures, who is the same person. Nobody asked for this Akamatsu.
Yay! My ship lives! Technically, it's undead, but close enough in a fantasy universe!
Do you forget Darkenning and me?
edited 25th Jun '18 10:54:09 PM by SCMof2814
Am reposting an old interrupted story from a couple of years back because I feel like continuing it and don't want to burden people here by having them try to find the old entries.
So have fun with the return of... The Twilight Imperial Princess Bride, by Senou Kaede...
Arika Springfield, one of many sisters by that name for reasons their parents probably had thought good and proper at the time, was sick. Her body was in agony in inconvenient places, her head ached, and for some reason her parents wanted to compound this suffering by feeding her red beans.
It sucked, quite frankly. Why couldn't she get ice-cream again? She'd gotten that when she'd had her tonsils removed, she didn't see why it was unavailable to her now.
"I'm sorry you feel that way," Chachamaru-mama said, helping her back to bed after from the bathroom where Arika had just brushed her teeth.
"I hate being sick, " Arika said, crawling back under the covers and wishing she was immortal or something so she never got sick.
"I am given to understand it's no fun," Chachamaru said. "Nevertheless, this too shall pass." On anyone else, such a pithy saying would have been annoying. Chachamaru-mama managed to get away with it by virtue of being Chachamaru-mama. "Would you like me to read you a story before you go to sleep to make the passing less trying?"
Arika brightened. "Can you read me 'Decadent Habits'? With all the voices?"
"I'm sorry, but Haruna was punished very severely for reading that to you children," Chachamaru said passively. "However, I have another story prepared."
Arika frowned. "Is it any good?"
Chachamaru considered. "The summary states it contains sword fights, fist fights, magic fights, ninja, giants, politicians, intrigue, conspiracy, torture, monsters, true love, magic, revenge, death and miracles."
Arika's eyes widened happily at the description. It sounded almost as violent as Decadent Habits had been. "Are there lolis?" she asked.
Chachamaru considered. "Yes, I believe lolis are mentioned at some points."
This cheered Arika up greatly. It was always nice to have a story you could relate to. Still, she remembered the values Chisame-mama, Evangeline-mama and Asuna-mama had instilled in her. "That doesn't sound too bad, I guess. I'll try to stay awake. Although I don't really think I'll like it or anything." She turned her nose up. TSUN!
Chachamaru, long used to dealing with Tsunderes, judged Arika was going to turn out ot be a fine one, and hoped her eventual love interest would be able to survive it. "How nice of you," she said sincerely, sitting down next to Arika and opening the book. "Let us begin. The Twilight Imperial Princess Bride, by Senou Kaede..."
Once upon a time, in the land of Mahora, there lived a beautiful girl named Asuna Vesperina Theotanasia Entheofushia. She was a perfectly ordinary hidden backup princess of a fallen country, of the sort you could find anywhere.
Asuna lived in a dormitory with two other people. One was another beautiful girl — for beautiful girls were drawn to each other's company — named Konoka, who was gentle, caring, a good cook, an excellent librarian, a fortune teller, the daughter of a stupidly rich upper-class family descended from nebulously ancient nobility, and a lesbian.
Why did you mention she was a lesbian, Chachamaru-mama?
Because this book was written a long time ago. If you didn't mention it, people couldn't tell for sure.
That sounds really stupid.
The other was an English teacher boy named Negi, who had deficient bathing habits, kept sneaking into her bed, and whose sneezing could take off her clothes in a sudden and embarrassing fashion. However, whenever Asuna grew angry with him and berated him, all he said was 'As you wish, Asuna-san'. They lived together in an conveniently intimate and close way, so naturally, they eventually fell in love. even though Negi was at least 4 years younger.
Eh? Wait, just like that? They lived in the same room, so they fell in love? What kind of reasoning is that?
As I said, this is a very old story, and has very silly, outdated conventions.
It sounds like it was written by a know-nothing nerd. When are we going to get to the violence?
Eventually, Negi left to find his father to resolve several long-standing psychological issues and seek his fortune so they could marry, since being a school teacher was difficult when you intended to marry a student. Before he left, Negi and Asuna swore an oath of true love, to love none other, and only have weird crushes on older father-figure type men. Looking deeply into each others eyes, they made their pact, or Pactio as it was known, and as a sign of this promise Asuna posed for a small, card-sized illustration. With this graphic illustration of his love posing in appealing attire, he set sail aboard a vessel.
All was hopeful, until one day, Asuna received shocking news. Negi's ship had been attacked by the Dread Vampirate Evan, the most feared being to sail the seas, and famously never leaves anyone alive. Stories told of how he– or possbily she, there was some confusion– would massacre all in a crew, doing horrible things to the men, while she– or possibly he– would clothe the women in the style of domestic servants before doing intimate things to them that involved bodily fluids, and then death.
Wait, if this Dread Vampirate Evan always killed everyone, the how did they know what she–
Or he.
Yeah, or he did to people?
It's an old story. Logic was a rare commodity, and not many writers could afford it yet.
For three years, Asuna lived in denial, hanging out at the docks every chance she got and then, when she'd had to beat up one amourous sailor too many for mistaking her for the other kind of dock worker, at a reputable cafe with a clear view of the docks, holding on to the hope that her Negi would return to her, and they would get married as they had promised, and the two of them would finally–
Why'd you stop, Chachamaru-mama?
A moment Arika-chan, I accidentally turned too far ahead.
– the two of them would finally kiss, with a kiss of true love, and not any other disgusting carnal activity.
Chachamaru-mama, Haruna-mama did read us Decadent Habits, I know what fucking is.
I do not see how that is relevant right now Arika, we were reading about something far more chaste.
Chachamaru-mama, I could tell she meant the two of them were going to do it!
Kissing? Yes, they were going to do kissing. Now hush, there is still a lot of story to go.
All those years, Asuna waited, patiently, dropping out of school and selling newspapers while her classmates all graduated and became... well, older and mediocre. And more openly lesbian, in her remaining roommate's case.
Finally, after years of waiting, Asuna finds herself dropped out of school, out of a home since she no longer has a dorm to stay in due to dropping out of school, and was getting too old to deliver newspapers. Faced with scraping the bottom of the barrel and becoming a NEET, it came to pass that being a beautiful hidden backup princess was, astonishingly, good for something when, from out of nowhere, a prince appeared and asked her to marry him.
Heir to the throne of Mahora by means best left unmentioned, Prince Fate Averunncus had heard tell of Asuna's great beauty and her popularity among the locals as the princess newspaper deliver girl. Since Konoka, the other most beautiful girl in the land had recently taken herself out off the marriage market by marrying her lesbian body guard, Prince Fate had gone down the list.
Heartbroken and in a bit of depression after all these years, Asuna reluctantly agreed to marry him. Prince Fate secured his popularity with his new subjects, while Princess Asuna got to sponge off him for the rest of her life.
This happy ending is pretty depressing Chachamaru-mama.
Ending? We're only at the prologue.
I'm rethinking listening to this story...
However, just before the wedding, while a walking her old paper route once more out of nostalgia, Princess Asuna was kidnapped by three outlaws. It is then that our story begins...
Finally!
Wait, they stopped her to ask for directions?. Why didn't they just look it up on Google on their phone?
This story is set before Google was invented Arika-chan.
It's in the stone age?-!-?
Princess Asuna attempts to escape, but unfortunately, they're crossing a stretch of water filled with stripping eels, who eat clothing and leave people naked and vulnerable to exposure and the tentacles of the even more dreaded pervy octopus.
Why is the story talking about Paio-mama, Chachamaru-mama?
It's actually talking about the species of octopus that's named after her.
MAMA! You didn't say this story was going to be educational!
There's nothing wrong with education, Arika-chan.
LIES OF THE EDUTOCRACY!
Asuna returned to the goldfish ship, reduced to only her panties. Hoever, her troubles were only just beginning! For upon the horizon rode a black speck. One of her captors focused upon it with their spy glass, and it was then that they gazed upon a most ominous sight. For the black ship, adorned with black sails, flew the flag of the Dread Vampirate Evan!
Panicked, the kidnappers diverted their course to the foot of the Cliffs of Insanity, the enormous wall-like bookshelf full of Twilight reprints, Newberry Medal books, Fanfiction, political speeches and internet articles about agency and representation, any of which could drive one mad.
Mama, stop politicizing.
I have no idea what you're talking about.
edited 6th Apr '18 12:58:19 AM by SCMof2814