That went about as well as I expected
Cganale, known by the full name of Chris Ganale (which also isn't true
), also answering to various nicknames including Raptor Jesus, That Sneaky Bastard, Magnificent Crossover Bastard, Gook in the Grass, and 5
. Formerly a member of the World's Greatest Air Force
in the Fed Explosives
field, now he's got a regular 8-hour at Target where he has a really hard time not
using military radio protocol. When he's done making a fool of himself for the day, he plays video games and writes stories. Or at least, he SHOULD write stories. He's recently reclassified all his works as Old Shame
and mostly stopped writing. Now he really only tinkers very randomly at Project: Arashi and BiA
Is the Mastermind Behind:
Tropes Associated with Cganale:
- Author Appeal: Some mention of DragonForce, typically namedropping a song as suggested BGM, appears in all of his works ever since he discovered them.
- Berserk Button - Disparage Karen Traviss at your own peril. Also, any instance of Armies Are Evil or Five Rounds Rapid is the quickest way to get him frothing at the mouth.
- Broken Base - Despite overall love for the Clone Wars timeframe, he no longer watches the animated series or acknowledges George Lucas in any way due to the fiasco surrounding the decision to make the Mandalorians a planet full of hippie, pacifist, pinko liberals.
- Catch Phrase - Several, to include the page quote, and:
- "I'll use it like a shotgun" - When using explosive ordnance in close quarters (Usually fatally)
- "To plan" and it's counterpart "...Not to plan"
- An admittedly-bad bastardization of Davey Jones' "For now" line in reference to the East India Company owning the Dutchman used whenever applicable
- The Shout-Out "Alien basterds"
- "I can't see this having a happy ending" or some variant thereof
- "This will end in tears"
- "Not going to lie..." usually (but not always) prefacing something offensive.
- Celeb Crush - Olivia Wilde, Amanda Seyfried, and Laura Bailey.
- The Cuckoolander Was Right - Way back shortly after the end of the Mahorafest arc in Mahou Sensei Negima!, this guy just pulled out of his ass the potential of Chao's unspecified backstory being related to Halo. Flash-forward to the end of the series and Negi has built a very Halo-esque orbital elevator in Mahora.
- Deadpan Snarker - And how.
- Desperately Looking for a Purpose in Life - Doesn't think about it often, but it's there, lurking deep in, usually rearing its ugly head during his bouts of The Eeyore.
- The Eeyore - Goes to this deep dark place on some occasions, usually with very little in the way of provocation. It's really easy to get him out, however, if you know how.
- Everyone Can See It - Seems to have been the general response among his close circle of friends regarding his current Love Interest before they got together; apparently everyone but her knew he was sweet on her, and everyone but him knew she was sweet on him.
- Extreme Doormat
- Fantastic Racism - Utterly hates all species of The Covenant. Will tolerate Elites when they're on the UNSC's side, but is vitriolic against them in Halo: Reach to the point of absurdity. Also hates elves. Generally has nothing against other nonhuman races but usually never plays anything but a human in any game with racial options.
- Geek/Nerd/Otaku - Whichever term actually applies, to Halo and the Clone Wars time period of Star Wars. There's very little information on Halo or the Clone Wars that he does not either possess or can instantly acquire. It has been attributed that he has forgotten more about Halo than most people will ever know.
- GPS-Guided Karma - As anyone familiar with guided munitions knows, GPS is more accurate than laser guidance. He is firmly-entrenched in the belief that all bad deeds he performs will be punished with absurd disproportionality to the deed in question, if not immediately then when it would cause the most harm to his life. On the flip side, good deeds serve only to fractionally lessen the severity of the next karmic retribution, if they're acknowledged at all.
- Heroic Self-Deprecation - You can never convince this kid that he's done anything right in the world, or that he's not a completely-worthless waste of oxygen and space.
- Jerkass Façade - Snarky, blustery, rude, short-tempered, and petty about trivial matters like being subpar in every video game he plays, but find yourself in his inner circle of friends and he will risk life and incarceration to rain military-grade munitions on anyone who so much as annoys you.
- Like Brother and Sister - Previously had this sort of relationship with
four three different females, with all four three of them having been mostly platonic and one of them even being a lesbian, until a completely unrelated conversation with the older of the two younger ones ended up prompting an accidental confession.
- Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places - Minus the sexy bits. And this problem has now been corrected.
- My Country, Right or Wrong - To a T. Complete down to prior military employment. Despite hating the entire concept of civilian democracy/republic/whatever form of government used by the US, personally believing that a military state run benevolently is the best form of government, he is unashamedly American and views all enemies of America as Acceptable Targets. Peaceniks are Acceptable Targets, too.
- Oblivious to Love - Intentionally so in the case of his current Love Interest. Prior to getting together with her, whenever she made a comment that could be construed as being a sign of interest, he purposely did not read it in that way due a desire to avoid his old, prone-to-failure habit of going after girls already in a relationship.
- Unlucky Childhood Friend
- "Well Done, Son" Guy - Not to a father figure, but there are certain individuals by whose opinions he validates his worth.
- Write What You Know - The reason why combat, warfare, and military stuff shows up in all of his works, if said works don't outright feature them.
Vandalism associated with Cganale