Sapere Aude
How could I forget:
Brockman: I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords ...
Now if you excuse me, Starfleet is about to award the Christopher Pike Medal to my dick. — SF Debris
The Evil Dr Bolty
"Hey, it's also illegal to stick squirrels down your pants for the purposes of gambling!"
Reverse the Curse
"In your face, space coyote!"
A True Lady's Quest - A Jojo is You!
HIGH IMPACT SEXUAL VIOLENCE
Mr. Burns: "Oh, and um... incidentally. (whispers) Thanks for not making fun of my genitalia." (leaves)
Marge: "... I thought i did."
ALL CREATURE WILL DIE AND ALL THE THINGS WILL BE BROKEN. THAT'S THE LAW OF SAMURAI.
Homer: Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs.
Raven Wilder
Homer: "Twenty dollars? I wanted a peanut.
Homer's Brain: "Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts!"
Homer: "Explain how."
Homer's Brain: "Money can be exchanged for goods and services."
Homer: "Woo-hoo!"
HIGH IMPACT SEXUAL VIOLENCE
OW!! ... Quit it...
OW!! ... Quit it...
OW!! ... Quit it...
OW!! ... Quit it...
OW!! ... Quit it...
ALL CREATURE WILL DIE AND ALL THE THINGS WILL BE BROKEN. THAT'S THE LAW OF SAMURAI.
Reverse the Curse
Homer: *examining phone bill* Burkina Faso? Disputed Zone? Who called all these weird places?
Homer's Brain: *panicky* Quiet, it might be you, I can't remember!
A True Lady's Quest - A Jojo is You!
Krusty: How do you make a King Lear? Put the Queen in a bikini! Whoa, tough crowd. They're booing Shakespeare!
The mayo-lution will not be televised.
Not An Avatar
Homer: In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics!
We're not just men of science, we're men of TROPE!
Disasturbator
Lionel Hutz: This is the greatest case of false advertising I’ve seen since I sued the movie “The Never Ending Story.”
Manliest Person on Skype
Manjula: Apu, do you still find me...attractive?
Apu: Of course! To me you are still beautiful and silky and manageable.
Manjula: You're reading that off a conditioner bottle!
Stuff what I do.
Trying to remember this word for word:
(Children playing cowboy's and indians, Nelson comes dressed as the Terminator with a giant Nerf expy) Bart: Hey, they didn't have the Killmatic 3000 back then...
Nelson: Records from that era are inconsistent, and spotty at best (shoots everyone with said weapon)
(School play of Lincoln's assassination, Bart is playing John Wilkes Booth. Emerges onto set wearing Terminator getup)
Bart: Hasta la vista, Abe-e.
Homer: You get em, boy!
(Milhouse, playing Lincoln, jumps Bart, the two struggle, Bart wins)
Bart: You're next, Chesta A. Arthua...
HIGH IMPACT SEXUAL VIOLENCE
(con't from above)
* Krabappel grabs him and drags him offstage*
Bart: Unhand me, Yankee!
ALL CREATURE WILL DIE AND ALL THE THINGS WILL BE BROKEN. THAT'S THE LAW OF SAMURAI.
Reverse the Curse
Belle: Yes, Mr. Simpson, I wanted to - *raises an eybrow* Are you wearing a grocery bag?
Homer: *with great dignity* I have misplaced my pants.
A True Lady's Quest - A Jojo is You!
HIGH IMPACT SEXUAL VIOLENCE
(Snake spots Homer driving his car, Lil' Bandit. He hears/smells the motor, which has Regular gass.)
Snake: "She needs premium, dude! Premium!."
(Homer drives off)
Snake: "DUUUDE!!"
(Snake breaks out of jail to pursue Homer. Every other jailbird floods out the open gate)
Kourney: "HEY! YOU'RE RUINING IT FOR THE REST OF US!!"
edited 24th Nov '09 10:48:44 AM by Schitzo
ALL CREATURE WILL DIE AND ALL THE THINGS WILL BE BROKEN. THAT'S THE LAW OF SAMURAI.
Reverse the Curse
Screw the honour system; my car needs me!
A True Lady's Quest - A Jojo is You!
Lazy?
From Bart:
- Aren't we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa.
- I don't know! I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again!
- There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the boogeyman or Michael Jackson.
- Inside every hardened criminal beats the heart of a ten-year-old boy.
From Homer:
- Alright Brain...Its all up to you.
- What's keeping Joan Rivers alive?
- If they think I'm going to stop at that stop sign, they're sadly mistaken!
- Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.
- Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. 14% of people know that.
- If he is so smart, how come he's dead?
- No, no, no, Lisa. If adults don't like their jobs, they don't go on strike. They just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American Way.
- Now go on, boy, and pay attention. Because if you do, someday, you may achieve something that we Simpsons have dreamed about for generations : You may outsmart someone!
- Dear Homer, IOU one emergency donut. Signed Homer. Bastard! He's always one step ahead.
- Marge, please. Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so that it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.
- I'm having the best day of my life, and I owe it all to not going to Church!
- Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.
- ♫~Simpson-Homer Simpson, he's the greatest guy in his-tor-y. From the town of Springfield, he's about to hit a chestnut tree. D'oh!~♫
- Kids, kids. As far as Daddy's concerned, you're both potential murderers.
- Lisa, stop that racket! I'm trying to fix your mother's camera. Easy, easy. I think I'll need a bigger drill.
- You never know when an old calendar might come in handy! Sure, it's not 1985 right now, but who knows what tomorrow will bring?
- I saw this movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode! I think it was called, 'The Bus That couldn't Slow Down'.
- I'll handle this ... the only danger in space is if we land on the terrible Planet of the Apes ... wait a minute. Statue of Liberty ... THAT WAS OUR PLANET! YOU MANIACS! YOU BLEW IT UP! DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!
- What is a wedding? Well, Webster's Dictionary defines a wedding as "The process of removing weeds from one's garden."
- I won't sleep in the same bed with a woman who thinks I'm lazy! I'm going right downstairs, unfold the couch, unroll the sleeping... ba- uh, goodnidght.
- I'm in no condition to drive...wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk!
- And how is "education" supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
- I bet Einstein turned himself into all sorts of colors before he invented the light bulb.
- I can't believe it! Reading and writing actually paid off!
- ♫~I am so smart, I am so smart, s-m-r-t ... I mean s-m-A-r-t~♫.
- If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now, quiet! The're about to announce the lottery numbers...
- I know you can read my thoughts, boy : Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow...
- ...sure, IN theeoory. In theory communism works...
- Facts are meaningless - you could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!
- Books are useless: I only ever read one book, "To Kill A Mockingbird" - and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin, but what good does THAT do me?
Look, Marge, you don't know what it's like. I'm the one out there every day putting his ass on the line. And I'm not out of order. You're out of order! The whole freaking system is out of order! You want the truth? You want the truth?! You can't handle the truth! 'Cause when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face, you'll know what to do! Forget it, Marge, it's Chinatown!
edited 28th Nov '09 12:07:40 AM by Alucard
OG Troper
Marge, please. Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so that it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use. Marge: That's it, stop reading that Ross Perot pamphlet!
the statement above is false
Reverse the Curse
Marge: *reading a pamphlet titled 'Is Your Spouse A Souse?'* Homer, do you ever drink alone?
Homer: ... does the Lord count as a person?
A True Lady's Quest - A Jojo is You!
"Hmm. The students are overstimulated. Willie! Confiscate the colored chalk from the classrooms." - Principal Skinner
"I TOLD YE! DIDN'T I TELL YE?! THAT CHALK WAS CRAFTED BY LUCIFER HIMSELF!" - Groundskeeper Willie
edited 27th Nov '09 7:16:49 PM by Zephid
I wrote about a fish turning into the moon.
HIGH IMPACT SEXUAL VIOLENCE
Bart! Stop pestering Satan!
Oh, and Alucard just won forever.
edited 28th Nov '09 12:12:42 AM by Schitzo
ALL CREATURE WILL DIE AND ALL THE THINGS WILL BE BROKEN. THAT'S THE LAW OF SAMURAI.
I'm glasses.
Bart: Cartoons don't have messages, Lisa. They're just a bunch of hilarious stuff, you know, like people getting hurt and stuff, stuff like that. (Homer bursts into the room, slamming the door on Bart)
Always, somewhere, someone is fighting for you. As long as you remember them, you are not alone.
Maid of Win
The sign on Homer's work wall that says, "Don't forget, you're here forever," especially how he has photos of Maggie covering to say,'Do it for her.'
Poison, poison, poison, tasty fish!
- Sideshow Bob: (on his tattoo that says "Die Bart, Die") No, it's German for "The Bart, The."
- Jury: Well, no one who speaks German can be evil!
Milhouse from Shelbyville: But, I always thought I was the only one named Milhouse! So this is what it feels like... when doves cry.
- Lisa: JK Rowling! Please, tell me how Harry Potter ends!
- JKR: (sigh) He grows up and goes on to marry you. Is that what you wanted to hear?
- Lisa: Yes.
(on a painting of Mr. Burns) He's evil, but he's going to die. So I like it.
President's Day Play: We're the adequate, forgettable, occasionally regrettable caretaker presidents of the U... S... A!
Skinner: And don't forget to purchase some orange drink for the long ride home!
Mistah Spahklah!
Brazilian Boy: I make as much as Malcolm in the Middle, and since I have no parents my money remains unstolen!
- Australian Man: That's not a knife! THIS is a knife!
- Bart: That's not a knife, that's a spoon.
- Australian Man: I see you've played knifey-spooney before.
edited 11th Dec '09 8:26:40 AM by Ronka87
Thanks for the all fish!
To the best of my knowledge:
Brockman: These low class people using strange expressions, like "Com' here a minute" and "oh, yeah".
Homer: Oh Yeah? Bart, com' here a minute!
Bart: You com' here a minute!
Homer: Oh, yeah?
edited 15th Nov '09 9:35:52 AM by eX