Hey Zombie!
S'up?
WATCH OUT! <pulls to one side>
You nearly got hit by a data packet there.
Considering Phanto ain't here, you wanna be my first-mate?
Sure. I don't see why not.
Hey, here's what happens when I'm bored with my hair.
(it turns light blue)
Inverted colors. I love being part data.
Usually here.
Okay!
Anyway... you better watch yourself.
-BOOP BOOP-
Viruses inbound.
Get your guns out, Zombie, my friend.
We need to do some anti-viral work.
Wow.
Your hair is pretty.
It needs a little...
I could style it!
Now, are you a man or a woman? It's hard to tell in this dark corner of the internet.
Scanning self...
Gender: 50% female, 50% genderless.
Odd, my mental image of myself is male. Though that is a different matter entirely. But yes, you can "do my hair."
Usually here.
Huh. Okay.
-Downloading style list.exe - COMPLETE-
Okay... maybe a...
-10%
60%
100%-
THERE! Now, your hair is beautiful and pretty! I'm sure any man... woman... uhh whatever, would simply adore you with that hair!
Now... where should we go?
Perhaps we should try to scan for more viruses.
Scanning...
I cannot detect any viruses in this area.
Usually here.
Okay. Brilliant.
You wanna walk? The ship needs to be fixed.
We should try to find material to fix it.
Please be cautious about what you touch. If you break off a wall, then the entire world will collapse.
To avoid that, I shall inform you of what is safe to use as material and what is not.
Usually here.
Okay...
Well <points> Seanpenn.com got blown up. No-one visits that. We just need to borrow some data from there to patch up some holes until we can get to the nearest e-garage. Which is about 4 km that way.
Well, Since I'm part-data, I might be able to get there by travelling through these wires. Do you want to come with?
Usually here.
Yeah okay.
One sec...
-Hopey DUDES! I'M TRAVELLING-
Let's roll.
Jamais vu
Hoy, there, me hearties! I'll be accompanying you! -pirate music pla-you know what, I'm not even gonna link to it.-
UN JOUR JE SERAI DE RETOUR PRÈS DE TOI
Your hands are soft.
-ONE UPDATE-
OOOH!
-CONGESTION ON ROUTE 01001-
We're going on Route 01000! HAHA!
The thing with the red gold crown.
Data configuring please standby.
10%
40%
70%
100%
-Philosopher appears.-
Uh, where did I go?
It comes. The corrupter comes. Don't let it touch the tower lest all reality crumble.
Oh hey Philo.
S'up?
Welcome to the internet.
<pulls him out of the way of a speeding packet>
Watch out. Anyway, we're now part of... <gives a gun>. Here. Your anti-virus software.
The thing with the red gold crown.
Thanks. I'm starting to notice a very strange recurring theme of winding up in the internet.
It comes. The corrupter comes. Don't let it touch the tower lest all reality crumble.
It's okay.
Hopefully... <scans Philo>
-NETWORK DETECTED. INTERLINK-
Perfect. We're on the same internet service provider.
Okay, it's late in the morning, so traffic shaping won't occur for a while.
Anyway... <brings up car>
Here is my car. Where you wanna go first? A chat room?
The thing with the red gold crown.
I don't really care. I would just like to get an understanding of where I am.
It comes. The corrupter comes. Don't let it touch the tower lest all reality crumble.
Oh. Okay. Why didn't you ask...
-SCANNING. ITEM: PHILOSOPHER.TRP. TROPER FILE. MODIFIED: TODAY. CREATED: TODAY.
ORIGINAL LOCATION: HIS BEDROOM. CURRENT LOCATION: A SERVER IN EAST NEW JERSEY-
Well there you go. We're in East New Jersey... technically.
However, this place is about 1bn km wide, and 1bn km long.
Okay, good! We can...
SHIT! VIRUSES!
UN JOUR JE SERAI DE RETOUR PRÈS DE TOI