Make your own Magic card!

Solution: If a card would normally be exiled after being cast was cast from exile, it is instead placed in the zone AWOL sends things to.

Wormhole Overflow (5)(G)
Sorcery
Put five 0/1 green Worm creature tokens onto the battlefield.
Storm (When you cast this spell, copy it for each spell cast before it this turn.)

Wurmhole Overflow (8)(GGGG)
Sorcery
Put five 5/5 green Wurm creature tokens onto the battlefield.

Storm (When you cast this spell, copy it for each spell cast before it this turn.)

edited 28th Nov '15 6:01:57 PM by Elfive

Strip to the Bones - 1B
Instant
Put two -1/-1 counters on target creature. That creature is a black Skeleton in addition to its other types and colors.

edited 28th Nov '15 9:05:48 PM by kagescorpionakki

Is that supposed to be two -1/-1 counters, or a total of -4/-4, which you would better get with four -1/-1 counters?

It's supposed to be two counters for a total of -2/-2. Four -1/-1 counters for two mana would be absurd. Hell, even at two counters I'm still concerned that it's too powerful.

Ring of Rainbows - 10
Artifact - Equipment
Equipped creature has trample, haste, hexproof, and vigilance.
{2}: Regenerate equipped creature.
At the beginning of your upkeep, put a +1/+1 counter on equipped creature for each of its colors.
Equip {5}

Then you'll want to rephrase it as "two -1/-1 counters" rather than "two -2/-2 counters".

Okay, yeah, that's what I misunderstood. I should have compared it against the mana cost.

Whoops I didn't see my typo. Fixed. Sorry for the misunderstanding, that was my bad.

Seal of Vengeance 2WB
Enchantment
Sacrifice Seal of Vengeance: Destroy target nonland permanent.
"I am the destroyer, the justice that ends all sin."

Sarevok Anchev 3BR
Legendary Creature - Human Warrior
First Strike
Other black creatures you control get +1/+1.
When Sarevok attacks a player, choose a creature that player controls. It can't block this turn.
"Ah, yes. Stoke that infernal wrath of yours."
5/3

Jon Irenicus 3BU
Legendary Creature - Elf Wizard
Prowess
4BB, Tap: Put 2 -1/-1 counters on target creature. Draw a card and put a +1/+1 counter on Jon Irenicus.
"I wonder if you are destined to be forgotten. Will your life fade in the shadow of greater beings?"
3/4

edited 29th Nov '15 11:49:26 AM by ImperialSunlight

Seal is strictly worse than Utter End except for the part where it can hit Emrakul.

It isn't, because you can play the seal whenever you have spare mana open and then keep it on the field until your opponent plays a threat you want to blow up.

That's the advantage of all Seals in general. You trade information ("revealing" the card by playing it and giving your opponent the chance to play around it) for the ability to use the effect even during a turn where you need/want to spend your mana on something else.

Revealing such a thing may even be to your advantage, since it provides a deterrent against your opponents attacking you.

Also Seals can be recycled with cards that return permanents from the graveyard to the battlefield. Open the Vaults, Replenish, probably other stuff I'm forgetting.

Seal of the Deal - 2UR
Enchantment
Sacrifice ~: Each player discards his or her hand, then draws cards equal to the least number of cards a player discarded this way.
A terrible deal is still a deal.

edited 30th Nov '15 7:14:00 PM by kagescorpionakki

Redux of the Ice Age-inspired cards I made, like, years ago.

Dodo Watchman G
Creature - Dodo Guard
Creatures your opponents control are Intruders in addition to their other types.
1/2

Tae-Kwon-Dodos 2G
Instant
Put three 1/1 green Dodo creature tokens with haste and "This creature attacks each turn if able" onto the battlefield.

Dodo Chieftain 1GG
Creature - Dodo
At the beginning of your upkeep, put two 1/1 green Dodo creature tokens with "This creature can't attack or block unless an opponent controls an Intruder" onto the battlefield.
2/2

The Last Melon 3G
Legendary Artifact
The Last Melon enters the battlefield under target opponent's control.
Creatures you control are Intruders in addition to their other types. Creatures your opponents control have +1/+1 and attack each turn if able.

edited 4th Dec '15 9:58:02 PM by Knowlessman

Just had an idea I wanted to get down:

Disneyfication Field 1(W/U)(W/U)
Enchantment
(W/U): If target creature would die this turn, instead return it to its owner's hand.
"He died? But this is supposed to be a kid's movie!" -The Great Gonzo

Insomnia WU
Enchantment - Aura
Enchant Creature
When Insomnia enters the battlefield, untap enchanted creature.
Enchanted creature gets vigilance. If an effect would tap enchanted creature, it remains untapped instead. Enchanted creature cannot be used to pay costs of spells or abilities that require tapping.
The Chosen shall not eat. The Chosen shall not sleep. The Chosen shall be constant. So saith the Sky Magi, engineers of eternity.

edited 4th Dec '15 10:28:57 PM by ImperialSunlight

I... think this works...? Based off of Pirates 1. :/ Hella wordy, though, now that I look at it.

Cursed Medallion 3
Artifact
Cursed Medallion can't be the target of spells or abilities you control, and spells and abilities you control can't cause it to be destroyed.
You don't lose the game for having 0 life.
At the beginning of your upkeep, you gain 1 life. Spells and abilities other than this one can't cause you to gain life.
Pay 1 life: Sacrifice Cursed Medallion.
"Compelled by greed, we were, but now... we are consumed by it."

edited 4th Dec '15 11:58:59 PM by Knowlessman

I might throw on another restriction, such as "you may only draw one card a turn" or "you may only cast one spell a turn" - as it is, you pay 3 mana to become totally impervious to damage-based attempts at killing you, and since it's an artifact anyone can do it.

Psychic Shield UUU
Enchantment
If a source would deal damage to you, exile that many cards from the top of your library instead.

Got the colour wrong.

edited 5th Dec '15 9:52:49 AM by Elfive

I also had "You can't win the game" on it before, and can't really remember why I took it off. :/ Stuff like one spell a turn, or even no spells, and one draw a turn, might be good ideas though; kinda works into the flavor of, say, food turning to ask ash in one's mouth, drink having no effect, no company being pleasurable enough, etc.

Hmm. What about this?

Cursed Medallion 3
Artifact
Cursed Medallion can't be the target of spells or abilities you control, and spells and abilities you control can't cause it to be destroyed.
You don't lose the game for having 0 life, and cannot win the game.
At the beginning of your upkeep, you gain 1 life. Spells and abilities other than this one can't cause you to gain life.
You can only cast one spell each turn. You can't draw more than one card each turn.
Pay 1 life: Sacrifice Cursed Medallion.
"Compelled by greed, we were, but now... we are consumed by it."
-Captain Hector Barbossa

edited 5th Dec '15 9:32:06 AM by Knowlessman

Takin' another whack at Team Fortress 2, while I'm at it.

^{TF 2 cards}  The Scout 1RR
Creature - Human Mercenary
First strike, haste
1R: Target creature can't block The Scout this turn.
"I'm runnin' circles around ya!"
3/1

The Pyro 1WR
Creature - Maniac
W: The Pyro gains your choice of first strike or vigilance until end of turn.
R: The Pyro gets +1/+0 until end of turn.
*muffled noises*
2/3

The Spy 1UB
Creature - Human Spy
Deathtouch
U: Target player gains control of The Spy. The Spy's owner can activate this ability regardless of who currently controls it.
"I never was on your side."
1/4

The Engineer 1UR
Creature - Human Artificer
(U/R): Add 2 to your mana pool. Spend this mana only to cast artifact spells.
(U/R)(U/R), T: Look at the top three cards of your library, reveal an artifact card from among them and put it into your hand, then put the remaining cards on the bottom of your library in any order.
"Ee-rectin' a Wurmcoil Engine."
2/2

The Soldier 1RR
Creature - Human Soldier
2R, Q: The Soldier deals 3 damage divided as you choose between one or two target creatures.
"You are all weak! You are all bleeders!"
3/2

The Demo 1RR
Creature - Human Mercenary
1R, T: Destroy target noncreature artifact.
"Kabewm!"
2/3

The Heavy RRR
Creature - Human Mercenary
1R: The Heavy deals 1 damage to target creature blocking or blocked by it.
"Cry some more!"
2/4

The Medic 1WW
Creature - Human Mercenary
W: Target other attacking or blocking creature gets +0/+2 until end of turn. Use this ability only when The Medic is attacking or blocking.
"Zat was doctor-assisted homicide!"
1/3

The Sniper 1WR
Creature - Human Mercenary
XWR, T: The Sniper deals X damage to target attacking or blocking creature.
The Sniper doesn't untap during your untap phase.
2: Untap The Sniper. Use this ability only during your upkeep.
"Thanks fer standin' still, wanker."
2/2

Sentry Turret 4
Artifact
1: Sentry Turret becomes a 3/4 Guard artifact creature with defender and double strike until end of turn.

edited 5th Dec '15 10:36:43 AM by Knowlessman

And, fuck it, I'm on a roll: Twicelifes, part 2.

^{Twicelife cards}  Twicelife Traveler G
Creature - Sprite
Whenever Twicelife Traveler leaves your graveyard, you may search your library for a basic land card, reveal it, and put it into your hand. If you do, then shuffle your library.
1/1

Twicelife Scholar U
Creature - Sprite
Whenever Twicelife Traveler leaves your graveyard, draw a card.
1/1

Twicelife Parishioner W
Creature - Sprite
Whenever Twicelife Parishioner leaves your graveyard, target creature gains lifelink until end of turn.
1/1

Twicelife Renegade R
Creature - Sprite
Whenever Twicelife Renegade leaves your graveyard, it deals 2 damage to target creature.
1/1

Twicelife Harvester BG
Creature - Sprite
Deathtouch
Whenever Twicelife Harvester leaves your graveyard, choose one —
* Put a -1/-1 counter on target creature.
* Put a +1/+1 counter on target creature.
1/2

Twicelife Deceiver UB
Creature - Sprite
Twicelife Deceiver is unblockable.
Whenever Twicelife Deceiver leaves your graveyard, choose one —
* Draw two cards, then discard a card.
* Target player draws a card, then discards two cards.
1/2

Twicelife Tollkeeper WB
Creature - Sprite
Lifelink
Whenever Twicelife Taxman leaves your graveyard, choose one —
* Target opponent loses 2 life and you gain 1 life.
* Target creature you control gets +1/+2 until end of turn and target creature you don't control gets -1/-2 until end of turn.
1/2

Twicelife Ravager BR
Creature - Sprite
Trample
Whenever Twicelife Ravager leaves your graveyard, choose one —
* Destroy target artifact.
* Destroy target creature with toughness 2 or lower.
1/2

Twicelife Font 2B
Enchantment
B, T, pay 2 life: Return up to two target creatures with converted mana cost 2 or less from your graveyard to your hand. Put a blight counter on Twicelife Font.
Sprites you control have -1/-1 for each blight counter on Twicelife Font.

Any less broken than before? :/

edited 5th Dec '15 10:30:46 AM by Knowlessman

I don't think an ability that turns a thing into a defender should have a tap cost.

...Whoops.

Fixed.

edited 5th Dec '15 10:36:54 AM by Knowlessman