One day, I'm gonna make it big! I'll reach for the stars and be the brightest one in the sky! You may laugh at me, but I'm Sirius!
What do transphobes buy?
Nothing because they can't do transactions
What internet music critic forbids you to drink fruit-flavored soft drinks?
Anthony Fanta, No!
Edited by MikeK on Sep 24th 2022 at 8:05:20 AM
Officially intimidated
What will numbers 3.14159 and 2.71828 do in that birthday party? To eat pie.
What do a bicycle being driven in a half-pipe, a bison that moves back and forth due to anger issues, and the values of a bijective fuction like x^2 have in common? They swing both ways.
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A dating site for matchmaking with single ghosts in your area — www.findyourboo.com
Did you hear they were having a dog sale?
It's buy 1, get 1 flea.
What do you call a marriage between two Bolsheviks? A Soviet union.
Come one, come all, to The Currency Club! It's the hottest cent-sation around!
Trans Siberian Anarchestra (it/they)
Funeral directors have started advertising glass coffins, but I think whether they'll catch on remains to be seen.
The Revolution Will Not Be Tropeable
The Big Man
A mute couple were forced to go to court for a parking ticket. They couldn't decline since they had no say in the matter.
Brutal
Pomeranian Lover
What makes video game characters fly? Pixel dust!
What do you call a disease you get if you eat candy that has germs in it? A confection infection!
Why is having an Apathetic Teacher the easiest way to pass a class?
They don't give a F.
Officially intimidated
Person A: "Last night I was invited to a drink by two lesbians"
Person B: "Wait, really?"
Person A: "Yes. They also gave me a Greek-English dictionary as a souvenir gift, and encouraged me to visit their hometown one day"
Edited by MyFinalEdits on Oct 24th 2022 at 6:31:06 AM
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If you're an American in the kitchen, what are you in the bathroom?
European.
He/they | Mostly here on my free days
My friend used to have a trained newt for a pet. Now he has this weird owl/dog hybrid, and it's smart but can't do all the same stuff his newt used to... guess you can't teach an owl-dog newt tricks
Trans Siberian Anarchestra (it/they)
Why can't sunbeams talk to each other?
Because they aren't coherent.
The Revolution Will Not Be Tropeable
Dyslexic writer
The snow knocked out my power yesterday, nothing to do but chill on the sofa.
Dyslexic writer
If you get enough of my favorite trope in one room you will have an "Orc-hestra."
If the US ever decides to switch over to the metric system, it wouldn't be done overnight — otherwise there'd be mass confusion.
🍊orange fursona🧡
A divisive topping for mathematicians.
πneapple πzza.
Officially intimidated
Two numbers, one real and the other imaginary, went to a nightclub's entrance and stopped by the bouncer:
- Bouncer (while checking the list of invitees): Names, please.
- Imaginary number: He is 2,71828, and i am the square root of -1.
Did you hear about the hipster who got burned? Yeah, turns out he was drinking coffee before it was cool.
Hi
You know a Bene Gesserit is into S&M when she breaks out the dom jabbar.
Tobias/TJ (He/Him)
How many birds does it take to change a lightbulb?
Toucan do it.
Cold turkey's getting stale. Tonight I'm eating crow.
Why did the berry farmer read the newspaper? He wanted to keep up on currant events.