Real Chuck Norris Facts:

Total posts: [100]
1
2 3 4
Planescape Hijack
(Inspired and/or ripped off from Gail Simone.)

Chuck Norris sneezes with his eyes closed.

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. If he has coffee late at night.

Chuck Norris once punched a guy so hard he said, "Ow."

The Great Wall of China was built to keep out Mongolian invaders. Chuck Norris visited it once.

When Chuck Norris does pushups, he's pushing himself up. That's how you do a pushup. That's why they call it that.

Chuck Norris once ate TWO slices of pie.

Chuck Norris doesn't believe in unicorns.

Chuck Norris never met a glass of potable drinking water he couldn't drink.
Productivity is for people without internet connections. -Count Dorku
2 Tzetze2nd Nov 2009 09:06:28 PM from a converted church in Venice, Italy
DUMB
Chuck Norris once called Mike Huckabee a "principled, authentic conservative".
3 DragonQuestZ2nd Nov 2009 09:16:38 PM from Somewhere in California
The Other Troper
Chuck Norris has actually heard of Chuck Norris Facts.
I'm on the internet. My arguments are invalid.
(weaving)
Chuck Norris's tears contain various proteins. Depending on the cancer you have, your chance of recovering from said cancer after being treated with Chuck Norris's tears may range from as low as 3% to as high as 94%.
SHIKI is dead.
5 Pacific2nd Nov 2009 10:15:00 PM from da beach house
Oh Yeah?
Chuck Norris also knows about "Real Chuck Norris Facts", and became mildly disgusted by it. He shrugged it off, because he can still beat up Jackie Chan. He might be able to, I don't know. Even if he could, he wouldn't do it, though, because obviously they'd team up.
Planescape Hijack
I feel confident that Jackie Chan could take Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris starred alongside Bruce Lee in "Way of the Dragon".

Chuck Norris' first name is Charles.
Productivity is for people without internet connections. -Count Dorku
7 Kimura4th Nov 2009 02:14:38 PM , Relationship Status: THIS CONCEPT OF 'WUV' CONFUSES AND INFURIATES US!
Chuck Norris' name is often Pot Holed into Memetic Badass.
8 krrackknut4th Nov 2009 07:48:04 PM from The empty Aether.
Not here, look elsewhere
Chuck Norris has...A BEARD.
An useless name, a forsaken connection.
Not Actually Indie
Chuck Norris' first name is Charles.

It's Carlos, actually.

Chuck Norris is a Born Again Evangelical Christian and a Creationist.

He is the founder of a hybrid martial arts style called Chun Kuk Do. It contains ten guiding principles relating to proper conduct, including development of one's potential and loyalty to one's god, family, friends and country, but conspicuously lacks any admonition against using one's skills to beat up random strangers for no reason.
...eventually, we will reach a maximum entropy state where nobody has their own socks or underwear, or knows who to ask to get them back.
(weaving)
Chuck Norris held the Professional Middleweight Karate champion (non-contact) title for six consecutive years. His record, based on tournament matches, is estimated to be 183-10-2, though some sources list it as 65-5.

edited 4th Nov '09 9:38:18 PM by WilliamWideWeb

SHIKI is dead.
Planescape Hijack
It's Carlos, actually.

*embarrassed*
Productivity is for people without internet connections. -Count Dorku
12 Tzetze4th Nov 2009 09:38:59 PM from a converted church in Venice, Italy
DUMB
Once, Chuck Norris indirectly embarrassed Haven without even trying.
13 DragonQuestZ5th Nov 2009 02:19:50 AM from Somewhere in California
The Other Troper
Behind Chuck Norris's beard, there are his chin and cheeks.
I'm on the internet. My arguments are invalid.
14 Lemurian5th Nov 2009 02:30:59 AM from Touhou fanboy attic , Relationship Status: In season
Chuck Norris is popular in popular culture.
Join us in our quest to play all RPG video games! I feel like I've been here before in Der Langrisser
15 Kinkajou5th Nov 2009 02:35:35 AM from you're not your
One Man Army
Chuck Norris is an old man.
"Wait, it's IV. Of course they are. They'd make IV for Dreamcast." - Enlong, on yet another FFIV remake
(weaving)
Chuck Norris has starred in a large number of movies.
SHIKI is dead.
Lurker
Chuck Norris starred in Walker, Texas Ranger
Uncle George
Chuck Norris said that he's organising "right wing militia cells" across the US to fight "a second revolutionary war".

He also said that the blood of Jesus heals all wounds.

edited 5th Nov '09 10:04:33 AM by JethroQWalrustitty

This love so bold goes undeclared/a joy unseen, a world unknown/a love that dare not speak its name/hidden treasure, precious stone
Planescape Hijack
Kinkajou: Chuck Norris is an old man.

Chuck Norris is almost 70.

Jokes about him being a memetic badass aren't that old, but it sure feels that way sometimes.
Productivity is for people without internet connections. -Count Dorku
20 Kinkajou5th Nov 2009 02:47:57 PM from you're not your
One Man Army
Chuck Norris is a strong man. Only as strong as a very fit human, though.
"Wait, it's IV. Of course they are. They'd make IV for Dreamcast." - Enlong, on yet another FFIV remake
21 BobbyG5th Nov 2009 03:02:13 PM from the Silvery Tay
vigilantly taxonomish
Chuck Norris can divide by 2.

Chuck Norris doesn't believe in evolution, because of his religion.

Chuck Norris can enter a building via a revolving door.
(weaving)
When Chuck Norris does a push-up, using Einstein's law of relativity, it can be claimed that the Earth, not him, has moved.
SHIKI is dead.
23 Kinkajou5th Nov 2009 03:06:44 PM from you're not your
One Man Army
Chuck Norris was a TV star before the Internet took care of him.
"Wait, it's IV. Of course they are. They'd make IV for Dreamcast." - Enlong, on yet another FFIV remake
24 Wretchkin5th Nov 2009 03:11:10 PM from Bald Mountain
A New Kind Of Madness
Chuck Norris bleeds, breathes and cries like any other man.
When you dance with me, it's always to my tune.
25 Lemurian5th Nov 2009 03:12:32 PM from Touhou fanboy attic , Relationship Status: In season
If you kicked Chuck Norris between the legs, he would be in pain. After some time, there is a chance you would be too.
Join us in our quest to play all RPG video games! I feel like I've been here before in Der Langrisser

Total posts: 100
1
2 3 4