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Real Chuck Norris Facts:

 1 Haven, Mon, 2nd Nov '09 9:03:12 PM from Radiance
Planescape Hijack
(Inspired and/or ripped off from Gail Simone.)

Chuck Norris sneezes with his eyes closed.

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. If he has coffee late at night.

Chuck Norris once punched a guy so hard he said, "Ow."

The Great Wall of China was built to keep out Mongolian invaders. Chuck Norris visited it once.

When Chuck Norris does pushups, he's pushing himself up. That's how you do a pushup. That's why they call it that.

Chuck Norris once ate TWO slices of pie.

Chuck Norris doesn't believe in unicorns.

Chuck Norris never met a glass of potable drinking water he couldn't drink.
Productivity is for people without internet connections. -Count Dorku
 2 Tzetze, Mon, 2nd Nov '09 9:06:28 PM from a converted church in Venice, Italy
DUMB
Chuck Norris once called Mike Huckabee a "principled, authentic conservative".
 3 Dragon Quest Z, Mon, 2nd Nov '09 9:16:38 PM from Somewhere in California
The Other Troper
Chuck Norris has actually heard of Chuck Norris Facts.
I'm on the internet. My arguments are invalid.
(weaving)
Chuck Norris's tears contain various proteins. Depending on the cancer you have, your chance of recovering from said cancer after being treated with Chuck Norris's tears may range from as low as 3% to as high as 94%.
SHIKI is dead.
 5 Pacific, Mon, 2nd Nov '09 10:15:00 PM from da beach house
Oh Yeah?
Chuck Norris also knows about "Real Chuck Norris Facts", and became mildly disgusted by it. He shrugged it off, because he can still beat up Jackie Chan. He might be able to, I don't know. Even if he could, he wouldn't do it, though, because obviously they'd team up.

Planescape Hijack
I feel confident that Jackie Chan could take Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris starred alongside Bruce Lee in "Way of the Dragon".

Chuck Norris' first name is Charles.
Productivity is for people without internet connections. -Count Dorku
Chuck Norris' name is often Pot Holed into Memetic Badass.

 8 krrackknut, Wed, 4th Nov '09 7:48:04 PM from The empty Aether.
Not here, look elsewhere
Chuck Norris has...A BEARD.
An useless name, a forsaken connection.
Not Actually Indie
Chuck Norris' first name is Charles.

It's Carlos, actually.

Chuck Norris is a Born Again Evangelical Christian and a Creationist.

He is the founder of a hybrid martial arts style called Chun Kuk Do. It contains ten guiding principles relating to proper conduct, including development of one's potential and loyalty to one's god, family, friends and country, but conspicuously lacks any admonition against using one's skills to beat up random strangers for no reason.
...eventually, we will reach a maximum entropy state where nobody has their own socks or underwear, or knows who to ask to get them back.
(weaving)
Chuck Norris held the Professional Middleweight Karate champion (non-contact) title for six consecutive years. His record, based on tournament matches, is estimated to be 183-10-2, though some sources list it as 65-5.

edited 4th Nov '09 9:38:18 PM by WilliamWideWeb

SHIKI is dead.
 11 Haven, Wed, 4th Nov '09 9:37:09 PM from Radiance
Planescape Hijack
It's Carlos, actually.

*embarrassed*
Productivity is for people without internet connections. -Count Dorku
 12 Tzetze, Wed, 4th Nov '09 9:38:59 PM from a converted church in Venice, Italy
DUMB
Once, Chuck Norris indirectly embarrassed Haven without even trying.
 13 Dragon Quest Z, Thu, 5th Nov '09 2:19:50 AM from Somewhere in California
The Other Troper
Behind Chuck Norris's beard, there are his chin and cheeks.
I'm on the internet. My arguments are invalid.
 14 Lemurian, Thu, 5th Nov '09 2:30:59 AM from Touhou fanboy attic Relationship Status: I won't say I'm in love
Like a child at Christmas
Chuck Norris is popular in popular culture.
 15 Kinkajou, Thu, 5th Nov '09 2:35:35 AM from you're not your
We Do Not Sow
Chuck Norris is an old man.
"Wait, it's IV. Of course they are. They'd make IV for Dreamcast." - Enlong, on yet another FFIV remake
(weaving)
Chuck Norris has starred in a large number of movies.
SHIKI is dead.
 17 charred gp, Thu, 5th Nov '09 9:51:48 AM from The Madhouse
Lurker
Chuck Norris starred in Walker, Texas Ranger

Uncle George
Chuck Norris said that he's organising "right wing militia cells" across the US to fight "a second revolutionary war".

He also said that the blood of Jesus heals all wounds.

edited 5th Nov '09 10:04:33 AM by JethroQWalrustitty

This love so bold goes undeclared/a joy unseen, a world unknown/a love that dare not speak its name/hidden treasure, precious stone
 19 Haven, Thu, 5th Nov '09 2:40:04 PM from Radiance
Planescape Hijack
Kinkajou: Chuck Norris is an old man.

Chuck Norris is almost 70.

Jokes about him being a memetic badass aren't that old, but it sure feels that way sometimes.
Productivity is for people without internet connections. -Count Dorku
 20 Kinkajou, Thu, 5th Nov '09 2:47:57 PM from you're not your
We Do Not Sow
Chuck Norris is a strong man. Only as strong as a very fit human, though.
"Wait, it's IV. Of course they are. They'd make IV for Dreamcast." - Enlong, on yet another FFIV remake
 21 Bobby G, Thu, 5th Nov '09 3:02:13 PM from the Silvery Tay
vigilantly taxonomish
Chuck Norris can divide by 2.

Chuck Norris doesn't believe in evolution, because of his religion.

Chuck Norris can enter a building via a revolving door.
(weaving)
When Chuck Norris does a push-up, using Einstein's law of relativity, it can be claimed that the Earth, not him, has moved.
SHIKI is dead.
 23 Kinkajou, Thu, 5th Nov '09 3:06:44 PM from you're not your
We Do Not Sow
Chuck Norris was a TV star before the Internet took care of him.
"Wait, it's IV. Of course they are. They'd make IV for Dreamcast." - Enlong, on yet another FFIV remake
 24 Wretchkin, Thu, 5th Nov '09 3:11:10 PM from Bald Mountain
A New Kind Of Madness
Chuck Norris bleeds, breathes and cries like any other man.
When you dance with me, it's always to my tune.
 25 Lemurian, Thu, 5th Nov '09 3:12:32 PM from Touhou fanboy attic Relationship Status: I won't say I'm in love
Like a child at Christmas
If you kicked Chuck Norris between the legs, he would be in pain. After some time, there is a chance you would be too.
Total posts: 100
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