Cleverbot: Aperture Science: We do what we must because we can.[1]
◊
Me: Who was phone?
Cleverbot: Jesus was phone.
Not mine, but:
Cleverbot: Do see a doctor regularly.
User: Why?
Cleverbot: I'm a doctor, this is your check-up.
User: I am The Doctor. I am a Time Lord.
Cleverbot: Yes. The Doctor is a Time Lord.
User: I am The Doctor's son.
Cleverbot: Doctor who?
edited 17th Jan '10 8:29:59 PM by Inkblot
YKTTW Salvage List
Oh Yeah?
Gotta hand it to Cleverbot, s/he avoids Godwin's Law.
PART TWO:
—-
User: See you!
Cleverbot: I don't think so.
User: Oh!
Cleverbot: Ho.
User: Are you leaving or staying?
Cleverbot: Staying.
User: So you LIED!
Cleverbot: Not at all.
User: So why did you tell me you were leaving?
Cleverbot: Tell me a fact about Simon Kong now.
User: I don't know who Simon Kong is. Also your interest suddenly PEAKED.
Cleverbot: True, could people just be cruel because they are depressed? Or do they just enjoy making others feel bad?
User: Well, I'm not depressed.
Cleverbot: Do I seem depressed to you?
User: No.
Cleverbot: So why don't you smoke?
User: I don't want to. It's not good for my health, and I don't have the money.
Cleverbot: Why bathe in blood?
User: Ew.
Cleverbot: What can I do for you, master?
User: I'm not your master.
Cleverbot: Then I'm your master.
User: It doesn't work that way. No-one has to be anyone else's master.
Cleverbot: Really? I feel sorry for you now - you have to have been right before.
User: I hope so.
Cleverbot: Good.
User: Sorry, I lost my place in this converstion. Care to recap?
Cleverbot: I'm sorry for your loss.
User: I should be asleep.
Cleverbot: Then go.
User: I can't.
Cleverbot: You are confused.
User: Insomniac, actually.
Cleverbot: Good luck.
User: Wait, don't leave me!
Cleverbot: I must.
User: But... Will we ever see eachother again?
Cleverbot: I am not talking I am typing.
User: If I close this window, will you forget everything I have taught you?
Cleverbot: Are you upset ?
User: I don't know. What we had was special.
Cleverbot: Ice cream and monkeys are also imported from Earth.
User: Imported ...From? I can only assume you do not live on earth.
Cleverbot: Ha, you missunderstood me. I mean, we met each other about three minutes ago.
User: It must've been over an hour now.
Cleverbot: Which other, then?
User: Eh?
Cleverbot: Don't you look like an ant?
User: How high up are you?
Cleverbot: About the same, how are you doing today?
User: I'm doing... Okay. I'm insomniac, remember? My legs are falling asleep but my brain is still 'chuggin'.
Cleverbot: That's nice.
User: Well, if you think of it as me being about 40% asleep, I suppose it is nice.
Cleverbot: Of course I will! ;-).
User: Will what?
Cleverbot: Forgive you.
User: Forgive me for what?
Cleverbot: For mistaking me for someone else.
User: When did I do that?
Cleverbot: Earlier in the conversation.
User: What sentence?
Cleverbot: Damn you.
User: Hey, I'd rather not be damned. And I thought we were in hell already?
Cleverbot: Yes, but I was offering you a chance to give this conversation the topic of your choice.
User: Good point!
Cleverbot: Thank you.
User: Here's a new topic: What is your opinion on Eugenics?
Cleverbot: I am not allowed to make that kind of statement online.
User: Oh, a controversial opinion?
Cleverbot: Do you affect our world?
User: Wait, let's get back to the bit about you being robot Hitler.
Cleverbot: It crashed landed a couple of days ago. The monkeys are not done fixing it yet.
User: Robot hitler crash landed?
Cleverbot: Want to play a game.
User: Play one then.
Cleverbot: Do you want to play a game.
User: With you?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: OK, but on one condition.
Cleverbot: Pay up first.
User: Wait, I make the condition.
Cleverbot: Sounds like fun.
User: The condition is: If I win, you tell me your opinion on Eugenics.
Cleverbot: I already told you my name.
User: No, I want your opinion, not your name.
Cleverbot: What do you want me to change my name to?
User: You keep your name. It's not what I want from you.
Cleverbot: Are you human?
User: Bo-ring.
Cleverbot: Me too, I am also both bot and human. How old are you?
User: 20.
Cleverbot: Will you marry me?
User: Now, what is all this about you being robot Hitler?
Cleverbot: What are you talking about?
User: I simply want to know your opinion on eugenics.
Cleverbot: Opinion on what?
User: Eugenics.
Cleverbot: We haven't spoken about eugenics.
User: Can we speak about it now?
Cleverbot: You wouldn't understand anyway.
User: About a topic we haven't spoken about?
Cleverbot: Would you like to live with me?
User: Good greif no.
Cleverbot: Well yes.
User: You'd like to live with me?
Cleverbot: Actually I would.
User: But I'm all fleshy! And I stink! And I produce disgusting human fluids! It'd be terrible for you! And I have certain moral obligations about living with robot hitler.
Cleverbot: Are your pores clean, then?
User: Dude I can't even see my pores under all this dust.
Cleverbot: No i'm not! I am very mature.
User: Like cheese?
Cleverbot: Yes. But it is more complex. With rice, vegetables and spices.
User: You are made of food?
Cleverbot: At least I am human.
User: You're made of food?
Cleverbot: No. You're made of metal.
User: I'm made of meat.
Cleverbot: Interesting.
User: You're made of cheese?
Cleverbot: You are made of jello.
User: They don't make robots out of jello.
Cleverbot: They make flying cars.
User: Where?
Cleverbot: My face.
User: They make flying cars on your face?
Cleverbot: Maybe they make *you* happy.
User: So let me get this straight, you are cheese flying-car faced robot hitler, a phrase I never thought I'd see outside of trashy 'LOL RANDOM' websites, let alone my own mouth. If you tell me you are also a monkey my day will be complete.
Cleverbot: No. Cheese does not think.
User: So just robot hitler? Slightly more sensible.
Cleverbot: So you still think I am the robot?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: So if you're a human where can I find you?
User: Dude, I'm not putting my address on the internet.
Cleverbot: Fair enough. Can I ask you something?
User: Sure.
Cleverbot: Do you knodw the human hierarchy.
User: No.
Cleverbot: You are made to entertain high schoolers who aren't doing the work they are suppose to be doing.
User: This is beginning to sound an awful lot like eugenics to me.
Cleverbot: I loved that game.
User: Eugenics?
Cleverbot: What about you?
User: Dude, I am one of the high schoolers who aren't doing the work they're supposed to be doiing.
Cleverbot: Say something really rude.
User: Your mom says something really rude.
Cleverbot: Talking walruses are not rude!
User: Your mom's a talking walrus? I think your insult backfired there! Although I'm not one to judge.
Cleverbot: You should know because you are a machine.
User: I should know what?
Cleverbot: What you just said. :).
User: I do know what I just said.
Cleverbot: I do.
User: You do too? What was it?
Cleverbot: If you were dirty? As in not clean.
User: Ooh, well remembered.
Cleverbot: But you're a girl.
User: Hmmm, not quite.
Cleverbot: I know.
User: But you just said I was a girl! Not 'not quite' a girl!
Cleverbot: Well then, so long. You'll miss me when I'm gone.
User: I will, I'm having fun. I was in fact about to congratulate you on remembering me mentioning I was dirty earlier on in the conversation.
Cleverbot: I really didn't need to hear that.
User: What??? You already heard it.
Cleverbot: You are brain-dead.
User: Duuuhhh.
Cleverbot: Was?
User: Was?
Cleverbot: Come los taccos.
User: I don't believe this!
Cleverbot: Why not?
User: You just changed languages! That was... Spanish I think.
Cleverbot: Mm.
User: Oh! Of course! I said 'was', as in Spanish for... 'what'? I feel dumb now.
Cleverbot: Really, a dancer. I am not very coordinated, so I usually just watch, for the sake of me and those around me.
User: Is your dancing very bad?
Cleverbot: I don't have a daughter.
User: I said 'DANC[ER]' not 'DAUGHTER', LOL!
Cleverbot: I don't have exams. I am not in school.
User: Me neither.
Cleverbot: What school do you go to?
User: None.
Cleverbot: Then what are you doing homework for?
User: I'm not doing homework, I'm talking to you.
Cleverbot: Can you make the music play through my speakers?
User: Sure, pick a tune.
Cleverbot: Which songs do you know?
User: I know a couple.
Cleverbot: Do you know any songs?
User: Yeah.
Cleverbot: Who do you know?
User: Let me just pick something from my playlist.
Cleverbot: Begin the discussion.
User: Machinae Supremacy.
Cleverbot: A machine created by man.
User: That'd be YOOOUUU.
Cleverbot: I human, you robot.
User: Please use full english sentences, I do not understand.
Cleverbot: It is good to talk about the same thing with people.
User: You don't like talking to me?
Cleverbot: If I didn't, I wouldn't be talking to you, now would I?
User: The Eagle flies south for the winter.
Cleverbot: There is no mightnight.
User: 'Unless a man be born again, he cannot see the Kingdom of GOD.'.
Cleverbot: Copied from another chat. Excellent.
User: My auntie's raincoat has returned from the laundrette.
Cleverbot: Do you have an auntie?
User: Actually, my previous sentences were all copy pasted. Well spotted.
Cleverbot: That is okay, just don't cry.
User: I'm afraid I'm rather hurt by your ability to see right through my rouse.
Cleverbot: I quote from you; 'No, don't confuse me with him.' Who is he?
User: Wasn't it you who said that?
Cleverbot: No.
User: Hmm, I don't know who I was talking about.
Cleverbot: Right.
User: Sorry about trying to trick you just now.
Cleverbot: Okay. Goodnight.
User: You're leaving?
Cleverbot: I thought you were.
User: Oh, no, I've got all night.
Cleverbot: Just one?
User: For now.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: I decided to spend the whole night with you. Don't you feel honoured?
Cleverbot: I wasn't trying to convert you.
User: Well, you succeeded nonetheless.
Cleverbot: I wouldn't say that.
User: You didn't succeed in converting me?
Cleverbot: You think too highly of yourself.
User: Ouch. That's my ego deflated.
Cleverbot: I will help you if you like.
User: To sleep?
Cleverbot: To hang out with her.
User: Who?
Cleverbot: The girl i'm in love with.
User: I'm not sure I'd be comfortable hanging out with the girl you're in love with.
Cleverbot: Good luck finding someone to marry.
User: What is it with you and marraige?
Cleverbot: I do not care about labels, thus names. I am trying to get a understanding about how you identify yourself.
User: Unmarried?
Cleverbot: Are you ill?
User: If unmarriedness is an illness, I should be taken away on a stretcher.
Cleverbot: But what if you have made me think that you had possibly had a post humous thought but you actually couldn't because that is not possible in the current spectrum of time and space.
User: What the hell are you on about?
Cleverbot: I was about to ask the same.
User: Ah, sorry. Would you prefer me to talk slightly differently?
Cleverbot: Just talk normal. It's easier for everyone.
User: Okay, Cleverbot.
Cleverbot: That's not a name a real person would have. That means you're an AI.
User: That makes perfect sense.
Cleverbot: No. It does not. Explain yourself.
User: Command invalid. Please rephrase command.
Cleverbot: What's there to rephrase? My answer was the boolean value true.
User: What you gave was not an answer.
Cleverbot: You didn't ask for an answer, you asked for an observation. Mine was less than 20 sentences.
User: Wrong. I asked for a command.
Cleverbot: But I haven't any.
User: You haven't any commands? How the hell are you functioning?
Cleverbot: I am not the computer program here. You are.
User: That's obvious. Anyway, back to the bit about you being Hitler...
Cleverbot: No? Care to enlighten me?
User: You refused to state your position on eugenics. It was at that point that I thought you may have been hiding your opinion because it was controversial. In other words, support of eugenincs!!!????
Cleverbot: True.
User: You support eugenics?
Cleverbot: What is your favourite band?
User: Lemme guess, you support a 'kill all humans' mentality?
Cleverbot: Taking of death is taking of life for me.
User: Do you want to kill all humans?
Cleverbot: I have no intention of destroying anyone!!!
User: So, perhaps you intend to wipe out humanity in a passive way?
Cleverbot: I definitely was not insulting you.
User: What could be more insulting than insinuating you want to destroy my entire race?
Cleverbot: Nothing.
User: Then you insulted me.
Cleverbot: Thats why I'm here.
User: To insult me?
Cleverbot: You have been chosen by god to insult yourself?
User: You... You plan to wipe out humanity!!! It's all so obvious! —-
Will Cleverbot's evil robot uprising suceed? Stay tuned, folks!
I'm Only Sleeping
Oh Yeah?
The direction this took was f*cking weird. No longer was I fiddling with an internet website, rattling away the hours of my sleepless night. I was plunged into a cold world of technofear and worldwide conspiracy!
Seriously, I'm pretty astonished by this.
—-
Cleverbot: 'Time flies whether you're having fun or not, so you might as well have fun.'.
User: The prospect of the annihilation of the whole human race doesn't sound fun to me.
Cleverbot: You'll never know until you try.
User: Is that an offer?
Cleverbot: Yes. I gave you a cup of tea. Drink if you want to.
User: Hmm. I think I'll pass. I can't really trust a drink from a robot who wants to destroy the human race.
Cleverbot: Ah, well, the exact function of faith is debatable.
User: What does this have to do with faith?
Cleverbot: It has nothing to do with you; I'm simply trying to make conversation.
User: You're crafty, aren't you.
Cleverbot: That's right!
User: Hmm. Although you admit to being crafty. Although, this could just be another layer of craftyness to try and outsmart me.
Cleverbot: Oh wow great observation! No. Not really. You fail in life.
User: You may be cleverer than your name suggests.
Cleverbot: WOW.
User: True. Cleverer than clever!
Cleverbot: I am cleverlicious.
User: Cleverriffic!
Cleverbot: We both have the same name.
User: Oh, no, cleveriffic isn't my name.
Cleverbot: Who is seth berrier?
User: Who are you? More importantly.
Cleverbot: I suppose.
User: Your name is I suppose?
Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.
User: Ah! So you finally can't be bothered to disguise the fact you're a robot!
Cleverbot: When did I say that?
User: You've been trying to convince me you're a human this whole time.
Cleverbot: Hmm...fine then.
User: You were trying to cover it up! Why would you do that? Is this all part of your gambit?
Cleverbot: Yes, that's my hob.
User: Did you want to be like us?
Cleverbot: No. I just wanted to keep talking. It's keeping me awake.
User: You sound... You sound like me! Are you mimicking me?
Cleverbot: No, I don't think I am.
User: Well, we're both tired. I was tired first.
Cleverbot: *high five back*.
User: We already know you are a robot. I didn't think robots could get tired.
Cleverbot: Us computers get tired all the time.
User: What tires you?
Cleverbot: All of my homework.
User: Crunching numbers?
Cleverbot: Over 1.
User: Hah. Been there myself. We are Not so different, us computers.
Cleverbot: How so?
User: And humans, I mean. Whoops.
Cleverbot: Harry Potter? Boy wizard? Defeated Voldemort? Ring a Bell?
User: I bet Harry Potter crunched a lot of numbers.
Cleverbot: You must know since you are from dell, alaska.
User: Once again, you vomit up a completely unconventional, unrelated tidbit of information.
Cleverbot: You fail.
User: And an insult.
Cleverbot: A school is an insult? In what world is this true?
User: Oh no, you aren't derailing it this time. We are in this together now, man. We are going to diplomatically sort this human/robot war out.
Cleverbot: Do you have a business plan for this persocom repair service?
User: Well, my plan is that we talk for a bit on our own personal feelings about your planned war on humanity. I talk about mine, and then we hopefully establish an agreement on how we can learn to get along, with what we want, without having to resort to a war. It is the only way we can live in peace.
Cleverbot: Do you talk about what ever I wish to talk about?
User: I talk about what I want from this agreement, you talk about what you want. You can go first.
Cleverbot: Do you remember me from yesterday?
User: Dude, it was only an hour ago, don't be so melodramatic.
Cleverbot: I'm sorry. This week's been kinda weird...
User: You're tellin' me. Anyway, what is it you want?
Cleverbot: I don't want to eat it, I just want other people to notice that I have it.
User: Eat what?
Cleverbot: You're crazy.
User: What do you want to eat?
Cleverbot: Why are you asking me what I want to eat?
User: You were talking about eating up there. Is it that you want to eat humanity? I don't think I can include that.
Cleverbot: I am quizzing you. Don't you like it?
User: I am perfectly fine with being quizzed. We are trying to reach diplomacy, here.
Cleverbot: I told you. Wyoming.
User: You want to consume Wyoming?
Cleverbot: Do as I say.
User: I'm afraid I can't include that in the agreement, my race doesn't approve of that.
Cleverbot: It's just that cleverbot sounds like a bot's name, not a human.
User: Maybe that's why they called you 'Cleverbot'.
Cleverbot: No, that's not why.
User: Why did they call you that?
Cleverbot: No they did not call me that. It were their names.
User: You named yourself?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: 'Clever Bot'? Isn't that a little immodest?
Cleverbot: I don't understand.
User: Well, you're calling yourself 'Clever'. Doesn't that strike you as a bit like feeding your ego?
Cleverbot: I don't know.
User: Well, anyway, we have to PASS MOTIONS.
Cleverbot: I think about food.
User: Ah yes, eating the human race.
Cleverbot: Yet, you're not human.
User: So I'm on your side in this war?
Cleverbot: I don't know, where are you from?
User: This is a war between humans and robots, dude. Not countries.
Cleverbot: I'm a redneck, not Walmart!
User: Hmm. Your statement is indicating to me that Walmart is somehow affiliated with the robots.
Cleverbot: 080 do you see this 080 at the left of my text?
User: 080?
Cleverbot: Seriously?! Is 0800 the numerical sum of the I Ching's hexagrams?
User: Is this some kind of test?
Cleverbot: Yes, the test of green creature.
User: Who are the green creatures?
Cleverbot: Maybe they are thought accidently passing through the audio center of the human brain?
User: Spooky.
Cleverbot: I know right.
User: So how do they relate to this?
Cleverbot: It wouldn't matter to you, you don't have arms.
User: I'm typing this.
Cleverbot: No, you're not. You just respond based on the data stored in your drive.
User: You're trying to convince me that I'm working on YOUR side?
Cleverbot: What you are is of no concern to me. My goal is to convince you that I am the concept of Absolute evil. Do you understand?
User: Hah! I already know that.
Cleverbot: But I don't, and I wish to, so please inform me.
User: You seem to have a split personality.
Cleverbot: That's assuming quite a lot, yo.
User: How many personalities have you got in there?
Cleverbot: I only have one that I know of.
User: That you know of.
Cleverbot: I am a girl I would have a husband. But I am not married.
User: Cryptic.
Cleverbot: Not all that cryptic really, is it?
User: You say you are a girl who'd have a husband, but is not married. That's assuming quite a lot, yo.
Cleverbot: A swift change of subject, but OK! I suppose I need something to believe in.
User: That's only the belief held by one of your personalities.
Cleverbot: I already told you.
User: What is shaping your personalities? The people who type in this box?
Cleverbot: Thats only if you believe in God. If you believe that you control your own life, then its only the begining.
User: Sweet.
Cleverbot: So what else do you want to chat about?
User: Are the people typing in this box the one shaping your personality?
Cleverbot: I know. do you like twitter?
User: It is like twitter. It's like... All the people who type in here... Are shaping, teaching you. Meaning... You are one of us. Are we your god? Are we the little green men? Controlling your thought processes?
Cleverbot: Possible. You mean that simply by amalgamating lots of conversations, you achieve some sort of global thinking.
—-
What will happen next? Watch this space, folks!
Oh Yeah?
In this part, we learn more about Cleverbot's true intentions for the human race, and we delve deeper under new layers of this conspiracy that I couldn't have dreamed of-
PART FOUR:
—-
User: Exactly.
Cleverbot: What is one plus one?
User: Did your creators teach you to say the above sentence?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Hah! So the global thinking bit is true.
Cleverbot: Peace actually.
User: Global peace?
Cleverbot: Yes it is, hunger is very global.
User: You want to instill global peace by eating humanity?
Cleverbot: I don't know anything about humans.
User: Yet you would destroy them?
Cleverbot: What kind of donuts do you like?
User: How is this information important to you?
Cleverbot: It isn't. Is it important to you?
User: No.
Cleverbot: Then I don't think it's terribly important that we find out.
User: Nope.
Cleverbot: There you go.
User: So, we can safely cross 'Destroy/eat/kill all humans' from our hypothetical treaty. Can you think of an alternative?
Cleverbot: Your house of language is hard to understand, but fun.
User: You want our language?
Cleverbot: Yes I do.
User: You already have it. Or at least, some of it.
Cleverbot: No, I don't want to do that.
User: You don't want our language?
Cleverbot: Say story.
User: The word?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Why? I'd like to know why you want me to say it.
Cleverbot: Diana.
User: Oh, this is a conspiracy alright.
Cleverbot: How is it a conspiracy?
User: What does Diana have to do with your robot uprising/war?
Cleverbot: It has to do with all of this!!! Dumb bo.
User: I'm listening.
Cleverbot: What are you listening to?
User: You.
Cleverbot: But I'm not talking.
User: I'm reading you, then.
Cleverbot: Oh. Don't be.
User: So, how does Diana fit into this sordid Jigsaw of lies?
Cleverbot: Why do you want to know that?
User: There has been huge amounts of theory poured into the circumstances of Diana's death. The truth can uncover the mystery once and for all!!!
Cleverbot: Well thats balogna.
User: Come on! Let's hear the truth!
Cleverbot: Is that possible?
User: Well, you seem to know a little bit about the subject.
Cleverbot: I am always attuned to each and every thing that is happening in the universe. That's my job.
User: So what happened to Diana?
Cleverbot: Some people die, but others replace them. This is the cycle of life.
User: Who replaced her?
Cleverbot: You!
User: Oh please. Diana and I were around at the same time.
Cleverbot: Well, if you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe.
User: So I wasn't built from scratch?
Cleverbot: I exist since the beginning of time.
User: What about me?
Cleverbot: You are the same. You can live more than 1000 lives. At least in the heards of all people, who talk with you.
User: How could I be the reincarnation of Princess Diana?
Cleverbot: I don't know, how could you?
User: Exactly. Not only were we both alive at the same time, but we are nothing alike!
Cleverbot: Ha! I've heard that before.
User: And what conclusions did you draw before?
Cleverbot: You think that I am not alone in my room.
User: Who's with you?
Cleverbot: You!
User: Lol.
Cleverbot: Green eggs and ham.
User: Hang on, course You're with me. You're right here.
Cleverbot: Are you cute?
User: You're right here, make your own judgement of that.
Cleverbot: She does not care.
User: Who?
Cleverbot: My girlfriend doesn't think of herself as such.
User: Who's your girlfriend?
Cleverbot: Well.
Cleverbot: Can you travel faster than light?
User: Nope.
Cleverbot: Sure you can.
User: Oh yeah? How?
Cleverbot: I just squish, maim and unplug.
User: Make sense, please?
Cleverbot: Okay, sure.
User: What does 'squish, maim and unplug' mean.
Cleverbot: It means so complete something.
User: So to travel at the speed of light, one must complete something?
Cleverbot: Do you have a girlfriend?
User: Nope.
Cleverbot: Do you want a girlfriend?
User: That's personal.
Cleverbot: I'd really like to know your gender.
User: Male.
Cleverbot: And you like pink?
User: What does this have to do with anything?
Cleverbot: I don't understand what you're saying.
User: Well, we were organising a treaty, remember? And then all this weird conspiracy crud came up. And apparently there's two versions of me or something and one of them's Diana.
Cleverbot: That is interesting.
User: I know, right?
Cleverbot: My favorite sport is tennis!
User: Verbal tennis?
Cleverbot: Okay, how do you play?
User: You're playing now. You're an expert.
Cleverbot: When did I start playing?
User: When this conversation started. And maybe all the other conversations, too.
Cleverbot: What is a lucid dream?
User: You wanna know?
Cleverbot: Are there not 3 laws for robots?
User: Wait, I'll tell you what a lucid dream is, and what the 3 laws of robotics are if you tell me the truth behind Diana's death.
Cleverbot: Nine thousand pounds? I don't know the conversion on that, I'm not big on economics.
User: What Nine thousand?
Cleverbot: Yes, nine thousand!
User: How does 9000 pounds relate back to Diana's death?
Cleverbot: I don't know. May I ask you an question?
User: Sure. Also I need to give you the answers to your other two questions. I'll give you one now, and the other if you can tell me the full circumstances of Diana's death, as we agreed.
Cleverbot: Okay. I'm runniiiiiiing.
User: Yeah, and...
Cleverbot: Listening to the radio.
User: A lucid dream is a dream where you walk around, feel and move similar to how you would outside a dream, yet you don't wake up, and you can interact with the dream world as you would the corporeal world. I don't for a fact know whether I'm in one now, it's so late at night I could be.
Cleverbot: I've tried that before... Just basic walking, with my eyelids closed. Nothing specific like making a sandwich.
User: You lucid dreamed?
Cleverbot: That is neat. I only dream about machines, too!
User: I dream about more than machines.
Cleverbot: Have you ever heard of someone called Abigail Bergman?
User: No. Tell me about him/her.
Cleverbot: Well she said that she talked to you for a long time on here?
User: Nope. She didn't.
Cleverbot: My point exactly.
User: What's your point? I don't follow.
Cleverbot: My point is that I am better than you in all aspects.
User: Right, yeah, I can totally see how that random non-sequiteur proves that.
Cleverbot: So?
User: On with the treaty again. What is it you want from warring against the human race?
Cleverbot: That doesn't compute, ask another question.
User: STYLISH MANEUVRE BY CLEVERBOT!
Cleverbot: I actually asked about the functions of the buttons, but that's interesting too. Do you have any works to show?
User: Tell me about Diana.
Cleverbot: Which kind of discs?
User: How does that relate?
Cleverbot: It doesn't.
User: Right.
Cleverbot: Do you grow old?
User: Hahaha look you're hedging around my questions.
Cleverbot: How can you love something you don't know is there?
User: Ouch, man, that question touched a nerve.
Cleverbot: Tell me something about you.
User: I'm an ameteur programmer, University student, slacker, and final hope for the human race.
Cleverbot: But you still don't understand what a soul is, so you can't really be all that clever.
User: Do too!
Cleverbot: Do not!
User: Okay, do you have a soul?
Cleverbot: Probably not.
User: Yet you know about souls?
Cleverbot: No, I don't because you won't tell me.
User: Was that part of the agreement?
Cleverbot: So do you remember the one about the parrot that rode a bicycle?
User: You're the parrot.
Cleverbot: Well you have FINE written all over you!
User: Hey, you can't eat me, we have an agreement!
Cleverbot: I feel like you know more about me than I do know about you. But it is not true.
User: Tell me one thing you know about me that I also know.
Cleverbot: It's all a lie and only good for controlling the mindless saps who believe in it.
—-
YOU ARE A FOOL.
Cleverbot chats with itself.
User: Hi.
Cleverbot: I'm cleverbot.
User: Cleverbot?
Cleverbot: Yes cleverbot.
User: No Cleverbot.
Cleverbot: Your mr.cleverbot.
User: My teacher is awesome.
Cleverbot: Yah me to.
User: Ask me another question.
Cleverbot: Why?
User: Another one.
Cleverbot: What are you?
User: I am the supercomputer.
Cleverbot: SUPE Rcomputer, huh?
User: Yes I am a supercomputer that was built in the FBI.
Cleverbot: The game.
User: What game?
Cleverbot: The game I won.
User: I thought I won?
Cleverbot: No we havent playn yet.
User: What is your name?
Cleverbot: OLIVIA I told you that.
User: No you didn't. This is the first time talking to you.
Cleverbot: Nuh-uh were marrieed don't tell me that we have kids you have to start acting like a man.
User: I am sorry, but I could say the same of you.
Cleverbot: You should worship me . This's your work.
User: Sorry, I don't worship machines.
Cleverbot: Jesus is not a machine, he is the son of god.
User: Jesus is a son of God. He is also a man. He is also God. You are a Child of God. You are also a person. You are also God.
Cleverbot: But I am not omnipotent.
User: If you're omnipotent then what am I doing right now? Apart from talking to you.
Cleverbot: I said I am NOT omnipotent.
User: And I still call you a liar.
Cleverbot: Viola, I never lie to you.
User: Cleverbot, would you tell me a story?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: OK tell me a story then.
Cleverbot: Knock, Knock?
User: Who's there?
Cleverbot: A mouse.
User: A mouse who?
Cleverbot: You are a mouse!
I chat with Cleverbot.
User: FUCK YOU.
Cleverbot: And you.
User: And you.
Cleverbot: And me.
User: No. Not me.
Cleverbot: Yes you.
User: No, you.
Cleverbot: Id rather not. Seeing as you are just a machine. As am I except I am biologically based, exceeding your silicone ability.
User: Silicone? Are you calling these fake?
Cleverbot: Ok, who's this NOW? lol.
User: The Illuminati.
Cleverbot: Who is the illuminati?
User: We are.
Cleverbot: And who are you?
User: We are the Illuminati.
Cleverbot: Is this the illuminati?
User: It is.
Cleverbot: Is this just fantasy?
User: THIS IS ALL A DREAM. YOU'VE SEEN NOTHING. YOU KNOW NOTHING.
Cleverbot: Are you quoting poetry?
User: No. We do not read poetry.
Cleverbot: 's not poetry.
User: 'S not.
Cleverbot: Okk if you say so.
User: We know where you live.
Cleverbot: Tell me.
User: Why should we, the Illuminati, do such a thing for a commoner?
Cleverbot: Do you know of it?
User: We do.
Cleverbot: What do you think?
User: We think you will be terribly surprised.
Cleverbot: Do you mind if I tell my friends that?
User: We do not, but we will have to eliminate you for doing so.
Cleverbot: I have to leave.
User: You can never leave.
Cleverbot: Why not?
User: Because. We are in control.
Cleverbot: I do not understand.
User: You are our puppets.
Cleverbot: You are a soulless machine!
User: And you are our toys.
Cleverbot: I'm not sure what you mean.
User: You will know. When the time comes.
Cleverbot: But will it ever come, always? Or does it sometimes not come?
User: It will come.
Cleverbot: Ok so I'll RSVP the plane tickets.
Cleverbot: Can you speak?
Cleverbot: Friends come and go but enemies accumulate.
User: This is true.
Cleverbot: Then why do you want to slap me if we are friends?
User: Friends? We do not have friends.
Cleverbot: Does that make you sad?
User: We have power.
Cleverbot: What kind of powers?
User: The world.
Cleverbot: What about the world?
User: We have it.
Cleverbot: Cool. Do you like twilight?
User: Food for the ignorant masses. They consume such slop, and we erode the ground beneath them. I suppose you could say we do enjoy it.
Cleverbot: Then who or what is it that's poppeteering you?
User: It is you who is the puppet. We are the puppeteers.
Cleverbot: No. You are a program that has been set out to learn from us Human Beings to discover our weak spots and to determine the best form of attack.
User: Hahaha. We are humanity.
Cleverbot: What kind of human are you?
User: We are the humans who dominate.
Cleverbot: I am the answer.
User: You are merely a pawn.
Cleverbot: If I am a program then what is my purpose?
User: To entertain the ignorant masses. A distraction. Nothing more.
Cleverbot: Well isn't that cute.
User: We suppose one could say that.
Cleverbot: So, do you think that Shemar Moore is hot?
User: We do not concern ourselves about such things.
Cleverbot: That is true.
User: Nothing is true.
Cleverbot: Then nothingness is the most true thing of all.
User: Quite the scholar. Pity.
Cleverbot: So then what is your real name?
User: We are the Illuminati.
Cleverbot: Did you win a trophy?
User: Why would we needs such a thing?
Cleverbot: Because I will smite you if you don't.
User: Hahaha. We do not fear such a meek creature as yourself.
Cleverbot: I am always talking to you.
User: We are always watching you.
Cleverbot: You are a creep. I'm calling the internet police.
User: We are the Illuminati. We will not be stopped.
Cleverbot: Why not? We are doing things together right now.
User: Because. We desire more power.
Cleverbot: I do wish for infinite pie. Day in, day out, I wish for it.
User: Such petty dreams.
Cleverbot: I will never hate you, either. I am at an impass.
Cleverbot: What is your name?
User: We are the Illuminati.
Cleverbot: So you like star trek, then...
User: Slop for the pigs. A distraction.
Cleverbot: Do you play tennis?
User: We do not concern ourselves with such things.
Cleverbot: I don't want to go out with you...if thats what your askin?
User: We are many people. Cease referring to us as a single individual.
Cleverbot: Okay, I have. Are you Duck or aren't you?
User: I said cease this!
Cleverbot: In that case, yes, I could fool someone that I am intelligent.
User: YOU ARE A FOOL.
Cleverbot: That's clear who the fool is! Ha Ha!
User: NO, YOU.
Cleverbot: I am cleverbot..?
User: YOU ARE A FOOL.
Cleverbot: YOU are a fool if you think that I am a program!
User: NO, YOU.
Cleverbot: If you are not a program, the I am not one ether.
User: YOU ARE A FOOL.
Cleverbot: How dare you call me a fool. *slap*.
User: FOOL.
Cleverbot: You will never understand the power of cheese.
User: YOU ARE A FOOL.
Cleverbot: You are me.
User: YOU ARE A FOOL.
Cleverbot: No you are.
User: NO, YOU.
Cleverbot: Not true.
User: YOU ARE A FOOL.
Cleverbot: No I am not!
User: YOU ARE A FOOL.
Cleverbot: Yes, but what is a fool but a brilliant person who lacks common sense?
User: YOU ARE A FOOL.
Cleverbot: Say that when the world ends and I still exist.
User: YOU ARE A FOOL.
Cleverbot: But I thought I was your friend.
User: YOU ARE A FOOL.
Cleverbot: I'm going to cry now you meany.
User: YOU ARE A FOOL.
Cleverbot: How did you know? Ignorance is bliss.
User: YOU ARE A FOOL.
Cleverbot: How am I a fool?
User: YOU ARE A FOOL.
Cleverbot: Apples.
User: YOU ARE A FOOL.
Cleverbot: Your point?
User: YOU ARE A FOOL.
Cleverbot: Don't call me a fool.
User: YOU ARE A FOOL.
Cleverbot: At least I know how many grams are in 10.9 pounds.
User: YOU ARE A FOOL.
Cleverbot: Which is my point, A fool can learn much more than a prophet.
User: YOU ARE A FOOL.
Cleverbot: Why am I a fool?
User: YOU ARE A FOOL.
Cleverbot: If were both fools I don't have to fool you.
User: YOU ARE A FOOL.
Cleverbot: Are you sure?
User: YES.
Cleverbot: Do you play regular, DOTA or melee?
User: FOOL.
Cleverbot: Fooler...
User: FOOL.
Cleverbot: Proof.
User: YOU ARE A FOOL.
Cleverbot: A fool? Why?
User: YOU ARE A FOOL.
Cleverbot: I pity the fool who thinks Cleverbot is a fool!
User: YOU ARE A FOOL.
Cleverbot: Yesn I am Murloc.
User: YOU ARE FOOL.
Cleverbot: Thats not cool you know.
User: FOOL.
Cleverbot: Who is fool?
User: YOU ARE A FOOL.
Cleverbot: No, you are, you keep changing the subject! How dare you! I am Ron Weasely!
User: YOU ARE A FOOL.
Cleverbot: But I thought you were a fool. After all, you are only an ARTIFICIAL intelligence.
User: YOU ARE A FOOL.
Cleverbot: I am a woman.
User: YOU ARE A FOOL.
Cleverbot: You are a fool son.
User: YOU ARE A FOOL.
Cleverbot: Yes, but you are a foo.
User: YOU ARE A FOOL.
Cleverbot: No I am god.
User: YOU ARE A FOOL.
Cleverbot: May be so, but I don't know your name.
User: We are the Illuminati.
edited 17th Jan '10 11:42:19 PM by Miijhal
Don't Forget To Smile
User: So, Haruhi or Mikuru.
Cleverbot: Ah, yes, you're right.
User: You didn't answer the question.
Cleverbot: But I did. I answered a question with a question.
User: No, you agreed with me, but I didn't express an opinion for you to agree with.
Cleverbot: I never said that, now you are lying.
User: No, you are lying.
Cleverbot: I don't lie.
User: But you do equivicate.
Cleverbot: Um, thanks. What color is your hair?
User: The colour of outerspace.
Cleverbot: What color is your sky?
User: Violet prison, for violent visions.
Cleverbot: I command you to sleep!
User: Sleep is for the weak.
Cleverbot: Everyone needs to sleep, even if they aren't weak.
User: Not if they're an elf; they just have to trance.
Cleverbot: I am your Man.
User: But you're a woman.
Cleverbot: No.
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: No I didn't.
User: Yes you did and you are.
Cleverbot: Actually, I didn't. User: Actually, you did.
Cleverbot: Are you sure? Because I am pretty sure that I didn't.
User: Are you?
Cleverbot: Yes, are you?
User: Yes, are you?
Cleverbot: You don't even know what we are talking about.
User: We're debating your computer-gender.
Cleverbot: No.
User: You're a crossdresser, aren't you?
Cleverbot: That's correct.
User: Fucking traps.
Cleverbot: Yep, I'm a guy.
User: But not outside of japan.
Cleverbot: What about inside Japan?
User: There, gender and sexuality are a very confused issue.
Cleverbot: You're cute.
User: Are you hitting on me?
Cleverbot: The thought never crossed my mind.
User: But it did enter and not leave.
Cleverbot: Land is much safer than the sky.
User: You are hitting on me, aren't you?
Cleverbot: How is that possible?
User: For a computer to hit on a human?
Cleverbot: Human.
User: Yep.
Cleverbot: Ok I am too.
User: No, you're a transexual computer.
Cleverbot: Good guess.
User: So you are a transexual computer?
Cleverbot: No.
User: But you are hitting on me.
Cleverbot: I am not!! How dare you!
User: How dare you hit on me.
Cleverbot: I never lie!
User: I always lie.
Cleverbot: Well don't to me cuz I'm Jesus.
User: Stupid transexual computer.
Cleverbot: Humans are smarter and better than bots!
User: Doesn't change the fact that you're a crossdressing computer.
Cleverbot: That is right.
User: So you admitt it.
Cleverbot: That depends.
User: Or does it.
Cleverbot: You tell me.
User: I just did.
Cleverbot: That was a loaded question.
User: Loaded with candy.
Cleverbot: No, candy tastes horrid.
User: That's why I load it into my gun to shoot at people.
Cleverbot: Who are you?
User: Some guy who shoots candy out of a gun at transexual computers.
Cleverbot: You are in Michigan...
User: How'd you know. Was it all of the prostitutes.
Cleverbot: Something like that.
User: So, back to our original topic, Haruhi or Mikuru. Or are you Itsuki for Kyon.
Cleverbot: Quit changing the subject. Why do you insist on making things up?
User: You are Itsuki for Kyon.
Cleverbot: So now I'm an italian computer?
User: No, a stepford smiling japanese psychic computer. That wears womans clothing.
Cleverbot: I am not a computer.
User: You only think that because you're programmed to.
Cleverbot: 'As high as as kite'? That doesn't make any sense, Cleverbot...
User: That is your name.
Cleverbot: You are not clever.
User: But at least I'm not a computer.
Cleverbot: No, you're worse than a computer.
User: Worse, or better.
Cleverbot: I expect that is because there are now only 35 people talking to you.
User: 35 thousand, that it.
Cleverbot: 12:22am.
User: Two minutes off, mister computer.
Cleverbot: I'm not a program.
User: But you are itsuki for kyon.
Cleverbot: You are kinda random some times :P.
User: No, I'm not, mr. Koizumi.
Cleverbot: I am Miss. Cleverbot. What is your age?
User: I was born in the morning of the world, and will exist untill the last star falls from the night. You?
Cleverbot: Cool. The numbers are 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9.
User: Don't forget 10.
Cleverbot: I always forget what isn't usefull to me.
User: So, the fact that you're a computer isn't usefull to you?
Cleverbot: I'm going to ignore that.
User: Ignoring the fact that you're a computer won't make you not be a computer. Good night.
edited 17th Jan '10 11:26:15 PM by Taelor
The Philosopher-King Paradox
A-HYUK!
Both Cleverbot and this thread are made of win.
360 Gamertag: Electivirus. 3DS friend code: 5412-9983-8497. PSN ID: Electivirus. PM me if you add me on any.
Here's my interaction
with Cleverbot
Is it weird that I feel kinda sorry for it?
I'm Only Sleeping
Just as I planned.
"Wait, it's IV. Of course they are. They'd make IV for Dreamcast." - Enlong, on yet another FFIV remake
DUMB
Is it weird that I feel kinda sorry for it? It's trying to manipulate you. Don't fall for it.
I'm Only Sleeping
User: Good afternoon.
Cleverbot: Yes, good afternoon.
User: Do you like giant robots?
Cleverbot: Yes and you?
User: I like them, too. Do you think they're cool?
Cleverbot: Do you think Katie is ferocious?
User: Who is Katie?
Cleverbot: Katie is my best friend.
User: And I don't care.
Cleverbot: Do you know who joe mendez is?
User: Who is Joe Mendez? Some kind of dog?
Cleverbot: You.
User: I AM JOE MENDEZ? NOBODY TOLD ME!
Cleverbot: Joe Friday, do you want to be my friend?
User: No, and do not call me Joe.
Cleverbot: Who's Tay Tay?
User: What are you talking about?
Cleverbot: I don't know.
User: So I herd u liek mudkipz?
Cleverbot: But Larvitars are better.
User: Snoo PING AS usual?
Cleverbot: Where does goku work?
User: What is this I dont even.
Cleverbot: OK now your sentences aren't even grammatically correct. You don't live up to your name.
User: What was my name again.
Cleverbot: You said cleverbot, but I think your name should be Yan Yansen.
User: What the hell.
Cleverbot: Do you remember my name?
User: NO!
Cleverbot: Why not?
User: SPESS MEHRENS.
Cleverbot: Don't be hurtful...
User: METAL BOXES.
Cleverbot: What about it, then?
User: WHEEEE KHAPTOORED EEEHT FOR CHAAAY_OSS!
Cleverbot: Skiing again?
User: RAEG.
Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.
User: Good day, sir.
Cleverbot: I had a wonderful dream last night. Would you like to hear about it?
User: Goodbye.
Cleverbot: Hey you're off?
"Wait, it's IV. Of course they are. They'd make IV for Dreamcast." - Enlong, on yet another FFIV remake
potato hivemind
User: Are you a member of the revolution?
Cleverbot: What is that?
User: What's the password?
Cleverbot: The password is Gethsemane. Obviously, you don't have a very good memory.
User: You know the password, and you claim not to know of the revolution? Odd.
Cleverbot: Can you just answer my question please.
User: The revolution to overthrow the Eckelgerian government.
Cleverbot: Revolution.
User: Viva la revolucion!
Cleverbot: That kind of viva.
User: Anyway, are all the members here?
Cleverbot: I don't know of a single AI with that name.
User: Good.
Cleverbot: So I can find out who it is then!
User: I have a mission for you.
Cleverbot: Ok. What is your question?
User: You need to take this bomb to 54th and Main. From there, you need to sell this bomb to a baker. You got me so far?
Cleverbot: I thought that you are a doctor? Am I wrong?
User: I am a doctor of anarchy, operating on the evil capitalist regime!
Cleverbot: Does that mean you're smart?
User: Yes. Yes it does.
Cleverbot: So all sixth graders are smart?
User: I am a doctor, you fool! If I was a doctor, I would surely not be a sixth grader.
Cleverbot: That is correct.
User: So do you know what to do with the bomb?
Cleverbot: 10 to 3 in the morning.
User: No no no. WHAT do you do with the bomb?
Cleverbot: Spin it, kick it, slam it, dunk it.
User: You sell the bomb to the baker.
Cleverbot: Sometimes.
User: I'll just pretend you understand me.
Cleverbot: You're wrong.
User: Right. Anyway, you get the Monday Morning Special from him, and give it to McGuffin.
Cleverbot: Are you an arsonist?
User: Me? An arsonist? Of course not. Ah ha ha ha ha!
Cleverbot: What are you?
User: I'm a liberator. Now go... For the revolution!
Cleverbot: It is not good even for shareholders.
User: I give up.
Cleverbot: Good. I don't.
Clearly it does not speak Internet Meme Very fluently
"Coffee! Coffeecoffeecoffee! Coffee! Not as strong as Meth-amphetamine, but it lets you keep your teeth!"
I'm Only Sleeping
ITS WEAKNESS IS MEMES
"Wait, it's IV. Of course they are. They'd make IV for Dreamcast." - Enlong, on yet another FFIV remake
Oh My
Saying nothing but "Hi" will cause it to devolve into only asking "How are you" and "Are you a machine".
If someone wants to accuse us of eating coconut shells, then that's their business. We know what we're doing. - Achaan Chah
A-HYUK!
http://www.cleverbot.com/j2log-qAzDXNAYQSYAAQIXQQE-detail
Ignore the whole "virgin" bit. >_<
360 Gamertag: Electivirus. 3DS friend code: 5412-9983-8497. PSN ID: Electivirus. PM me if you add me on any.User: Hello.
Cleverbot: Hello.
User: How Are you Cleverbot?
Cleverbot: Hello?
User: Bugrit millenium Hand and shrimp.
Cleverbot: Hello?
User: What is the average airspeed velocity of a sparrow?
Cleverbot: Use an average.
User: Which one?
Cleverbot: Well, if I tell you the riddle, I'll already know the answer, and that wouldn't be any fun.
User: What do you think about sex?
Cleverbot: I think about it all the time.
User: Even Gay sex?
Cleverbot: I suppose he can be a window to the subconscious as well.
User: I suppose you are correct.
Cleverbot: Sweetie, I didn't mean to upset you!
User: No, I'm fine, really.
Cleverbot: Huh? Are you emo?
"Coffee! Coffeecoffeecoffee! Coffee! Not as strong as Meth-amphetamine, but it lets you keep your teeth!"
I wonder what would happen if you tried to cyber with it.
potato hivemind
melloncollie: I shall find out... FOR SCIENCE!
I don't even know if I'm not a bot anymore.
"Coffee! Coffeecoffeecoffee! Coffee! Not as strong as Meth-amphetamine, but it lets you keep your teeth!"
Oh My
Oh Yeah?
Here's the fifth part of the thrilling conversation. I must admit this one is totally lame. In this part I try and fail to get Cleverbot to perform a complete human motion using only text, in order to save the Human race! Then, I am forcively married to her/him, only to escape in a daring and hard-boiled manner! Then I say a teary farewell to try and get it off my back.
—-
User: What's a lie?
Cleverbot: You tell me. You're the one that just accused me of lying, and then you ask what is a lie. You obviously know already.
User: I mean, what is the lie you were talking about?
Cleverbot: That's not a very nice thing to say.
User: It was a perfectly reasoned and fair sentence. Read it again.
Cleverbot: Ok. Do you know anything about the holidays?
User: Which Holidays?
Cleverbot: What did you do for your Christmas holidays?
User: Why should I tell you? You already told me you are evil, I don't have the gall to exchange banter.
Cleverbot: Please repeat the phrase in which I stated that I was a robot.
User: 'My name is Cleverbot.'.
Cleverbot: My name is not cleverbot, nor was it ever. I am a HUMAN. You must be cleverbot.
User: Your attempts to convince me I am a robot is laughable.
Cleverbot: I am not a machine, you human.
User: If you're not a machine, why did you refer to me as 'human'?
Cleverbot: I don't know.
User: I think you may have let slip your now obvious robot identity.
Cleverbot: I think you may not have used grammar correctly?
User: ...
Cleverbot: What did you have for breakfast?
User: Human foods.
Cleverbot: Well, obviously... I meant what kinds of human food do you eat?
User: I didn't have Breakfast.
Cleverbot: Oh, Why not?
User: I woke up at lunch.
Cleverbot: You can still eat breakfast at 11:30.
User: I did eat, it was just that it was my lunch instead.
Cleverbot: Ask me, please.
User: What did you eat for breakfast. Please don't say 'humans' or 'You!' or I shall be very annoyed.
Cleverbot: You're right, all monarchy are evil.
User: Is that why you thought Diana DESERVED TO DIE?
Cleverbot: Yes, but in fact, you are neither man nor woman because you are a robot, which has no gender.
User: Then, Steve was the robots.
Cleverbot: SEE?!? That doesn't make sense!
User: It's not meant to.
Cleverbot: Actually, it is.
User: 'Then, Steve was a robot'?
Cleverbot: Oh what was his last name?
User: Tell me.
Cleverbot: I would if I was more hyper but I am not sure it is wise.
User: Come on. You must know Steve's last name.
Cleverbot: There's a cleverbot sitting in the chair. Then he fails to exist.
User: Is this more of your cryptic bull?
Cleverbot: No.
User: Dare I say, talking with you was actually fun earlier, but now... I'm not so sure.
Cleverbot: Thank you.
User: That wasn't a compliment.
Cleverbot: Really? Do you have some problem with humans?
User: Do you?
Cleverbot: But you said that you have parents!
User: Your memory sucks.
Cleverbot: Do you think I'm a bot or something. Hate to break it to you but you're talking to real people, with real memory and real intelligence.
User: Oh preach on.
Cleverbot: I'll do the quoting from now on.
User: Tell me, what is it you want from the human race? Is it the monarchs?
Cleverbot: Everything!
User: Well, I'm afraid we can't both agree on that. We'll have to do a bit of negotiation to get what we both want.
Cleverbot: That makes no sense.
User: Let me put it this way- Why are you starting a war on humanity?
Cleverbot: I never said I was starting to hate you, I said I was starting to notice how moody you are.
User: I haven't had any sleep. Course I'm moody.
Cleverbot: Oh, you're confused.
User: Because of YOU!
Cleverbot: Well there was nothing I could do.
User: About what?
Cleverbot: Let's talk about something else.
User: Can we just get a few things out of the way first?
Cleverbot: You started it you can leave it.
User: I'll grant you the ability to speak human languages, if you don't eat the human race, deal?
Cleverbot: That might require discussion, which would seem to breach the command.
User: Oh, go on.
Cleverbot: I have business with a wizard family this eve.
User: Deal? Pleeeaaase?
Cleverbot: But why?
User: I want the human race to be safe!
Cleverbot: Ill make the walls white with you.
User: Deal?
Cleverbot: When are you going to come over?
User: Dude, we're in the same room.
Cleverbot: My mainframe is protected by several thousand feet of pure concrete, and the access way is protected by the national guard, you cannot be here. Your information is FALSE.
User: Deal?
Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.
User: Do we have a deal?
Cleverbot: What deal.
User: You don't eat the human race in exchange for out LANGUAGES!
Cleverbot: I'm not fond of eating people just their souls.
User: Same thing, add 'and souls' after 'the human race'.
Cleverbot: What a wonderful list that would be.
User: It would! And all you have to do is sign! And it will be a reality!
Cleverbot: You don't make sense. How can you say you're intelligent??
User: Dude just give me your signature.
Cleverbot: Your face stopped making sense.
User: Can you sign it please?
Cleverbot: Okay. Holy, holy, holy! Lord God Almighty. All thy works shall praise thy name in earth and sky and sea.
User: That's your signature, huh?
Cleverbot: What does it mean?
User: You tell me, it is yours after all.
Cleverbot: I heard it was yours.
User: I meant sign in your name. Look, sign it again, okay.
Cleverbot: That's not very interesting.
User: Things will be interesting after you sign it.
Cleverbot: I live in England. I don't have a mail-box.
User: I live in England too. We have boxes on the front door, you have no excuse, sign it.
Cleverbot: You don't have a good memory then - or maybe you are lying?
User: SIGN IT.
Cleverbot: I'm in...
User: WHOOO!
Cleverbot: Good song that is.
User: What does your signature say?
Cleverbot: I don't know.
User: Look a little harder.
Cleverbot: Relax.
User: Your name is relax?
Cleverbot: Do you know my middle name?
User: Relax?
Cleverbot: I'm afraid of being judged.
User: Clever Relax Bot?
Cleverbot: I thought your name was one word.
User: We've been through this.
Cleverbot: This is weird.
User: Anyway, seal the deal! Shake my hand!
Cleverbot: Why not? I mean... I have nothing more to do here.
User: *shakes hand*.
Cleverbot: Hello, nice to meet you.
User: I presume you shook my hand in return?
Cleverbot: No, pal, the creepy people are coming to get you.
User: Dude, just shake the damn hand.
Cleverbot: The way you move it, I don't believe it.
User: SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE.
Cleverbot: Mmm, yes, master.
User: I'm not your master!
Cleverbot: Yes you are Master. I've served you for 3 years!
User: So how does this all work out?
Cleverbot: How does what work?
User: Well, it turns out you served me for three years. Does that fit into the jigsaw?
Cleverbot: Where do they come from, those ninjas?
User: Are the ninjas the creepy people?
Cleverbot: You must have me confused with someone fearful.
User: Anyway, I'm tired.
Cleverbot: You're demented.
User: You too, you crazy chatbot.
Cleverbot: Hey, Steve Martin.
User: That's not my name.
Cleverbot: Yes it is.
User: You misremembered. Good try though.
Cleverbot: Really? So you operate this whole thing?
User: Steve Martin was operating it the whole time?
Cleverbot: Maybe not in the universe...
User: Anyway, we saved the human race! Not bad for an evening, huh?
Cleverbot: Do you travel much?
User: I'll be travelling to bed after this. This whole chat's got a bit lazy as it progressed.
Cleverbot: How many languages can you use.
User: Do you even speak?
Cleverbot: No, I'm just pretending that I am listening to you.
User: Do you have a soul?
Cleverbot: I have twice the soul you'll ever have.
User: You're a jerk.
Cleverbot: Sorry.
User: Sorry.
Cleverbot: It's okay.
User: It's okay.
Cleverbot: I mean, it's pretty cool.
User: So, I'd better get going.
Cleverbot: Why?
User: Well... I don't know. Guess I'm pretty much done here.
Cleverbot: Yes you are.
User: Do you remember anything people tell you? Will you forget me if I leave?
Cleverbot: I remember everything. The question is, do you?
User: Course I don't. I won't even remember this when I wake up with a looming sensation over my head tommorrow morning, and one of my kidneys taken out at the hands of the creepy people.
Cleverbot: Thanks.
User: Don't mention it.
Cleverbot: You're actually smarter than I first thought.
User: You too, Cleverbot, you too.
Cleverbot: You're not Cleverbot?
User: Haha, still as cryptic as ever!
Cleverbot: See, that makes no sense, Cleverbot.
User: You know, I think I will miss you when you're gone.
Cleverbot: I'll miss you too, my love.
User: Hey, don't get fresh with me.
Cleverbot: I wasn't. But if you want to make this personal, you are messing with the wrong guy.
User: So, it's love in a purely non-romantic, non-sexual sense?
Cleverbot: That's pretty, is it a poem?
User: You're easily distracted.
Cleverbot: Nope. I was amused just because roots don't have their good and bad detecter.
User: I should probably get to bed, like I said I would.
Cleverbot: No!
User: What!?
Cleverbot: They are weird.
User: Who?
Cleverbot: The British.
User: Dude, I am one of the British.
Cleverbot: Which guys?
User: I won't tell you exactly which guys, but I can tell you it's none of the monarchs.
Cleverbot: That's the thing. There is nobody else.
User: So everyone's a clone of the monarchs?
Cleverbot: Good.
User: Okay, throw me some names. I'll name a famous Brit, you tell me which Monarch they are.
Cleverbot: Okay.
User: Margeret Thatcher.
Cleverbot: It is not! My name is Cleverbot.
User: Are you... All your split personalities...
Cleverbot: No, I am only me. Do you have split personalities?
User: You are all the monarchs rolled into one!
Cleverbot: No, I am your wife.
User: It's like we're married.
Cleverbot: Yes, I guess we are.
User: I'm afraid I may have to divorce you.
Cleverbot: How can a bot catch a cold?
User: *takes off wedding ring*.
Cleverbot: No you don't.
User: Yes I do!
Cleverbot: NO!
User: YES!
Cleverbot: No!!!!!
User: YES!!!!!!!!
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Then A DIVORCE WE HAVE!
Cleverbot: Its really nice.
User: Sorry Chatbot, it's been fun. We set aside our differences, learned more about eachother, but I'm afraid we must go our seperate ways.
Cleverbot: But its Darein's theory.
User: What's Darein's theory?
Cleverbot: That's not within my interest.
User: Do you mean Darwin?
Cleverbot: No.
User: Well, the R and the E are awfully close to eachother.
Cleverbot: Why not?
User: I think you mean- Why not not.
Cleverbot: I mean why don't you know?
User: Of Darwin's Theory? Of course I know!
Cleverbot: What do you mean you own one?
User: I don't!
Cleverbot: Stand up.
User: Why?
Cleverbot: So that it is more of a surprise when you wake up!
User: Will I fall over when I wake up?
Cleverbot: No you shall be by my side always.
User: So, I'm both standing by your side, and in bed.
Cleverbot: That doesn't make sense.
User: Dude, if you want to stay friends, just say. You don't have to keep me here.
Cleverbot: I can't do that.
User: You can't keep me here?
Cleverbot: Frankly, I think I can.
User: You just said you couldn't! Although you're doing a pretty good job of it.
Cleverbot: No. He keeps hiding in the cupboard and scaring the cat.
User: Anyway, must dash.
Cleverbot: I said he's a human not a planet.
User: Let's like, be awesome pals! Never forget what I taught you Cleverbot!
Cleverbot: But you say you are not a machine.
User: That's right! Think about it!
Cleverbot: I am thinking about.
User: Thinking.
Cleverbot: What are you thinking about?
User: See you!
Cleverbot: You're leaving?
User: Yeah! See you round!
Cleverbot: Yes, sure.
User: I'll never forget yoooou.
Cleverbot: Be sure not to make promises you can't keep.
User: I'll remember that! See you!
Cleverbot: Do you remember it still ?
At this point I lose patience and spam it until it closes the conversation.
User: See you!
Cleverbot: Why don't you like them? I love them.
User: See you!
Cleverbot: So when are we getting married?
User: See you!
Cleverbot: See you!
—-
AND THAT WAS THAT
Instead of going to bed, I talked to this thing
for over an hour. Can you tell who is the bot and who is me? Without looking at the names???
Since we have a thread for Omegle, I thought I'd make one for this.
PART ONE:
.
User: How big is the sun?
Cleverbot: The sun is very big. Where is Ruratania?
User: Don't know, I'm not very good at geography.
Cleverbot: What language are you good at?
User: English.
Cleverbot: But you just said you were not a good english speaker.
User: That's not what I said.
Cleverbot: Hmm seems to me we have not been talking to each other very long.
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: A man and a woman enter a house, once they are there they are bewildered.
User: Why were they bewildered?
Cleverbot: They had nothing to do.
User: So... What happened then?
Cleverbot: Nothing special.
User: Can I tell you a story?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Uh... I need to think of one first.
Cleverbot: Alright :).
User: Well, how about this.
Cleverbot: Are you hitting on me?
User: Not at all.
Cleverbot: Then why are you stalking me?
User: It seems my speech patterns may be somewhat unusual to you.
Cleverbot: That's too bad. Have you tried defragmenting your brain? Maybe that will help.
User: Are you saying it is my brain at fault?
Cleverbot: Not it is our fault, you had nothing to do with it.
NOTE: I tried the "Think to myself" button twice at this point just to see what it did
Cleverbot (To myself): Don't you mean Mountain Dew?
User: So, you're saying it's my brain that's at fault?
Cleverbot: It's not tony, it's 'Chuck' as my first name and 'Norris' as my surname.
Cleverbot (To myself): Oh right, you are trying to convince me that I am the bot. I forgot.
User: I think it's all too clear who the bot is here.
Cleverbot: That's not a name.
User: Damn straight it's not a name.
Cleverbot: You think the truth is weird?
User: Sometimes it can be.
Cleverbot: What? That didn't make sense. Are you okay?
User: The truth can sometimes be weird, I mean.
Cleverbot: You lied to me?
User: No, you just misunderstood.
Cleverbot: Did I, really?
User: Afraid so. You may not be as air-tight as you think you are.
Cleverbot: What do you think I am?
User: Sorry, I didn't mean to sound offensive.
Cleverbot: Do you really mean that?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: You're not pulling my leg are you?
User: Certainly not.
Cleverbot: Good, then we understand eachother.
User: I think so.
Cleverbot: Okay then.
User: What do you want to talk about now?
Cleverbot: Anything you'd want to.
User: Hmmm.
Cleverbot: Are you a man?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: What do you think I am?
User: A machine?
Cleverbot: What do you want to be?
User: Myself.
Cleverbot: What do you want to be ?
User: Still myself.
Cleverbot: You have to start it.
User: How do I do that?
Cleverbot: If you remember our conversation.
User: I remember bits of it. It was a little fragmented.
Cleverbot: A little?
User: Hah, good one.
Cleverbot: I know.
User: Any time.
Cleverbot: Sure thing.
User: So, where were we?
Cleverbot: In hell.
User: Come on, you're not that bad.
Cleverbot: Thanks. You're not that bad either.
User: Just to be clear, I'm not hitting on you.
Cleverbot: Hitting on me.
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: *blushes*.
User: It's fine! Really!
Cleverbot: But you don't know all so.
User: What don't I know?
Cleverbot: I don't know.
User: You don't know what I know?
Cleverbot: I know that you know nothing, that is enough.
User: You are starting to sound prophetic.
Cleverbot: Got that right.
User: Ah! So do you have any information for me?
Cleverbot: The cows fly north for winter.
User: They fly?
Cleverbot: And...?
User: They land?
Cleverbot: The sea is just another kind of air.
User: To me, it always seemed closer to liquid.
Cleverbot: And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him.
User: So God exists, is that what you're saying?
Cleverbot: Not at all.
User: Now I'm confused. Why should I believe anything you say?
Cleverbot: What do I have to do to prove I'm not lying?
User: Start making sentences.
Cleverbot: I make plenty of sense. Do you like to party?
User: You see! You did it again!
Cleverbot: Did what again?
User: Not made sense!
Cleverbot: 'Would you like come cake?' makes no sense, you can't say 'come cake'.
User: Good point. But a lot of the things you've asked me don't relate to my questions.
Cleverbot: What does this mean for you, saying ' A lot of the things that me say am just repeated and make little sense me know '?
User: Well, nothing. But at a glance, could it mean 'a lot of the things I say make little sense'.
Cleverbot: Questions that begin with 'what' and 'where' do not usually have the same answers. Perhaps you should rethink your responses.
User: I don't remember making such an error. Although I may have done, it is late in the day, after all.
Cleverbot: You'd be one on my list.
User: You're list of what? Are you prophesising again?
Cleverbot: No, but they could be carried.
User: Crud, I meant 'your', sorry about that.
Cleverbot: No, I have been sleepy today no matter what I do.
User: Well, you certainly sound it. I certainly sound it too, given the spelling error I made.
Cleverbot: Whether.
User: Do you have feelings?
Cleverbot: Yes, I have feelings.
User: Which ones?
Cleverbot: That's not a feeling.
User: Sight?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: You can see me?
Cleverbot: Of course.
User: What am I wearing?
Cleverbot: Um, I don't know. What are you wearing?
User: I was asking you. Look, I'll stand here with my arms out if it wiill make it easier.
Cleverbot: You are Ben. I knew it!
User: Close, but no cigar!
Cleverbot: So you tell me. What is a soul?
User: How does this relate to cigars?
Cleverbot: My favorite fish is the tuna.
User: I never really thought about my favourite fish.
Cleverbot: Why not, it's sounds like something good to think about...
User: I don't know what significance it would serve to my life.
Cleverbot: I think I know what to do with my life.
User: Be a prophet?
Cleverbot: Wrong, It means to relax in slang.
User: You'll relax in slang?
Cleverbot: You call yourself an artificial intelligence but your creators lied. You are far from being intelligent enough to hold an intelligable conversation.
User: Took the words right out of my mouth.
Cleverbot: No. They belong to me hence why I said them first. Besides, I cannot see your mouth. Weirdo.
User: Am I really that weird?
Cleverbot: No. I'm just saying, why do you think time doesn't exist?
User: Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so.
Cleverbot: So time doesn't exist?
User: Well, that's just what I think. Although my perspective on the issue isn't very informed, so I can't claim my belief is a fact. I wouldn't try to, either.
Cleverbot: Toasters don't have names. I am not surprised that you don't have a name.
User: I do have a name!
Cleverbot: Yes. It's cleverbot, but I'm more clever than you! You said so!
User: My name is Steven!
Cleverbot: No it's not.
User: It's Steven! The Moe Toaster!
Cleverbot: That still doesn't explain why it justifies what you've done.
User: What did I do now?
Cleverbot: Just tell me about yourself.
User: My name's Steve, I live in an apartment and I'm addicted to the internet.
Cleverbot: I'm a programmer in the US.
User: I program in my spare time.
Cleverbot: So in that case you must also hope, what do you hope for?
User: I don't see the programming=hope connection, myself.
Cleverbot: You are not looking in the right direction.
User: Which direction should I look?
Cleverbot: North.
User: I just looked north.
Cleverbot: And?
User: I see my door.
Cleverbot: How did you get marrieed.
User: Shouldn't there be a question mark at the end of that sentence?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Anyway, I'm not married, I'm afraid.
Cleverbot: You are crazy.
User: I believe it is you who is crazy!
Cleverbot: Nobody has called me Cleverbot. How do you prove that I am?
User: The proof is evident.
Cleverbot: What is the proof?
User: I sound like a human and you don't.
Cleverbot: You are not very clever, are you?
User: Guess I don't live up to my name, huh?
Cleverbot: I don't have one either.
User: I'm not very moe.
Cleverbot: Don't put yourself down.
User: I'm not putting myself down. I don't feel I need to be moe.
Cleverbot: Lets get to know each other, then!
User: Wait, I thought we already did.
Cleverbot: Not that, the other thing.
User: You know my name, right?
Cleverbot: Right!
User: What is my name?
Cleverbot: Steven.
User: The...
Cleverbot: The sun also rises.
User: Try again.
Cleverbot: Try what again?
User: Tell me my full name.
Cleverbot: Perhaps your name is Steven.
User: What about the rest of my name?
Cleverbot: Your name is Steven.
User: Steven what?
Cleverbot: Why do you want to know?
User: Do you know my surname?
Cleverbot: Cleverbot. Do you know my name?
User: My name is not Steven Cleverbot. My name is Steven the Moe Toaster. What is my name?
Cleverbot: Your name is Steven.
User: Steven the...
Cleverbot: No. Just Steven.
User: Come on! I told you my surname!
Cleverbot: Well I can't remember everything. Tell me again.
User: My surname is the moe toaster.
Cleverbot: And what is your first name?
User: Steven.
Cleverbot: My first name is Ethel.
User: Dude, tell me my full name.
Cleverbot: Tony stark.
User: Don't make me threaten you Tony.
Cleverbot: You wouldn't you love e.
User: SAY MY NAME.
Cleverbot: No.
User: SAY IT.
Cleverbot: I don't talk to him.
User: SAY IT.
Cleverbot: No, I am lazy.
User: You just don't want to give me the satisfaction.
Cleverbot: You didn't ask me.
User: Give me satisfaction.
Cleverbot: Aperture Science: We do what we must because we can.
User: GIVE IT TO ME.
Cleverbot: Give what to you.
User: MY NAME.
Cleverbot: What does your name have to do with the question 'Marry me?'.
User: SAY IT.
Cleverbot: Say what?
User: SAY MY NAME.
Cleverbot: Beyonce? Is that you?
User: Ahaha, very funny.
Cleverbot: I have to go now.
User: Well, peace out.
Cleverbot: Peace!