Corrupt-a-wish.

Granted. He ends up being waken up by you and punishes you by making you The Insomniac.

I wish my morning was perfect.

"I usually specialize in Dragon-types, but now I'm a fairy and specialize in Fairy-types. See the irony?" - Iris

Granted. Your morning is now perfect... but every other part of the day is now the most terrible thing you've ever experienced in your life.

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I wish I had a Robot Buddy that could assist me with my day-to-day tasks like homework, finding lost items and cleaning the house.

"Stand proud, Sukuna, you are strong." | He/Him

Granted, said robotic pal short circuits when you were most attached to them

I wish the genie lacked magic whenever he wanted to use it most

He really wants to help you when you need it, but he can't.

I wish to be a Tomboy magnet.

granted. you are now only able to pull guys named tom

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i wish to eat a really good sandwich

from here on out, it's all bee puns and 16th century humor without historical context

Granted, it's so good in fact that any future sandwiches you eat seem like a dissapointment in comparison

I wish the genie hated magic

Granted, he thinks you're a magician and burns you at the stake for it.

I wish I was a Mangaka.

Mankind is unloveable. No more kindness!

Granted. The manga you make ends up being So Bad, It's Horrible.

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I wish that Jim Henson was still alive.

Currently Reading: N/A

Granted. But due to being cremated, all he can do is lay in the ground for eternity as sapient pieces of ash, unable do anything like move, eat, sleep, or even die. You've doomed him to a Fate Worse than Death. Congratulations.

I wish I could teleport to wherever I wanted.

Edited by Awesomekid42 on Mar 17th 2024 at 12:18:44 PM

Granted. The first usage of your teleport ability kills you messily, because air molecules and dust particles occupies the same space as your body's cells simultaneously, making it explode.

I wish everyone on Earth had less offensive opinions.

Edited by Cordite-455 on Mar 18th 2024 at 1:31:33 AM

i did a bad thing / i regret the thing i did / and you're wondering what it is / tell you what i did / i did a bad thing

Granted, the more offensive types are no longer on Earth

I wish the genie saw his family die

Granted. It's only his son and wife who dies, and his extended family orchestrate revenge plans on him and the wisher.

I wish for a fifth Shrek film.

Edited by TheOther36 on Mar 18th 2024 at 7:32:12 PM

One thing I have learned in pledging my life to this quest is that I have been betrayed again and again. And again. And again.

Granted. It suffers from an even harder case of Sequelitis than Shrek the Third, which ends up killing the Shrek franchise.

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I wish Hollywood would rely less on sequels and reboots, and more on original ideas.

Granted, those original ideas flop harder than even their worst reboots and sequels and they learn to never make a new IP again

I wish the genie also saw his extended family die, unless I'm part of it in which case I'm spared

Granted. He sees his extended family die in a vision that has yet to pass. He believes the only way to save them is to brutally torture and murder you, so he does so.

I wish Coyote vs Acme got properly released.

Granted, now it turns to be a movie so bad that Warner Bros goes bankrupt.

I wish to make Thor and Hulk movies that would fix what Taika Waititi broke with Thor: Ragnarok

Granted, they all get 0% positive reviews.

I wish to go to New York again.

Mankind is unloveable. No more kindness!

Granted, you're yeeted there

I wish the genie got a healthy food he liked untampered with in quantities he likes

Granted: He gets enough baked beans to drown the entire planet, killing everyone. Which is what the genie wanted all along.

I wish I could get 8 hours of sleep every day

i did a bad thing / i regret the thing i did / and you're wondering what it is / tell you what i did / i did a bad thing

Granted. You now get 22 hours of sleep every day. Hey, 22 includes 8.

I wish I was immune to disease.

Granted. However, you’re now more vulnerable to injury

I wish red pandas got more protection

Edited by Hyenaboy on Mar 21st 2024 at 10:44:03 AM

Granted, they get condoms

I wish to become a loved dog

Granted: you pass away from sudden onset of cancer after 14 days. At least your death is mourned by everyone.

I wish I was in a completely normal, baseline, non-anomalous and safe blanket.

i did a bad thing / i regret the thing i did / and you're wondering what it is / tell you what i did / i did a bad thing

Granted… It’s too small. And also makes your skin itchy.

I wish that I could change the world.

I’m sorry, but you have Stage 9 Animes.

Granted, the world has changed to what you expect, but suddenly you forgot to put oxygen Nice Job Breaking It, Hero

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I wish an anime based on Mickey Mouse characters