Defiler of Shops
>Sweep the LEG!
As ACCOUNTING runs towards you, you pop a PILL and SWEEP his LEG, his PIZZA CUTTER going between your LEGS and stabbing the SPINNING OFFICE CHAIR you're sitting in. He grabs his PIZZA CUTTER back up.
> Go for the SOFT BITS!
Before BOB can make another MOVE, you stand up and PUNCH him in the THINGY. He falls down in PAIN.
>Go for the OPTICS!
As he curls up on the FLOOR, you grab a SHARP NUMBER 1 PENCIL from your DESK and STAB him right in the VISIONARY SPHERES. They start BLEEDING.
>Devise a PLAN to keep your BOSS from seeing all of this and firing you.
Oh no, you hear BOB THE BOSS coming up the STAIRS! Quick! Devise a PLAN! OK, you take BOB'S BARELY ALIVE BODY and dump it out the WINDOW. Then you fin-
OH NO. BOB THE BOSS SEES IT.
>SCREAM "Bob From Accounting started it!"
BOSS says OK and then continues UPSTAIRS. That was close.
- Name: Henry
- Class: Office Drone
- Race: Human
- Color: Turquoise
- Time: 7:04 PM
- Statistics:
- Strength: AVERAGE
- Sanity: TO THE MAX
- Charisma: COULD GET IMPROVEMENT
- Passive Abilities:
- Clock Collector: You collect timepieces.
- Sort of Brave: You won't walk into a cavern full of grues, but you might stand up against a bank robber.
- Weaknesses:
- Spiders: They are scary.
- Sprained Ankle: Ouch, that'll impede you.
- Angry: You need anger management classes but are always sidetracked by being late to work.
- Aggresions:
- THE SWEEPER: You know the best THING to do if someone's CHARGING YOU is to knock their LEGS away. REQUIRES x1 LEG
- THE PENCIL IS MIGHTIER: If used correctly, SHARP PENCILS can result in INJURIES as bad as ONES by a KNIFE. REQUIRES x1 SHARP PENCIL
INTERESTING FACT: BOB FROM ACCOUNTING actually designs PAPER-RELATED ITEMS.
edited 5th Nov '10 2:24:19 PM by Reecer6
Soul is ugly.
>Leave AWESOMELAND OFFICES, having had a day full of PRODUCTIVITY AND NOT MURDER.
Warning: Posts may cause derp.
Defiler of Shops
>Leave AWESOMELAND OFFICES, having had a day full of PRODUCTIVITY AND NOT MURDER.
You CAN'T! WORK ends at 4:00 PM and you have only GRAPHED ONE GRAPH!
>GRAPH some GRAPHS
You GRAPH those GRAPHS like no one has before, GRAPHING right through LUNCH BREAK! Soon it is 3:00 PM and you have GRAPHED all the GRAPHS. What do you do while you wait?
Soul is ugly.
Gristknife
>Leave early lest UNION complain about WORKING THROUGH LUNCH.
Charlie Tunoku is a lover and a fighter.
>PONDER how it was 7:00 pm just a few hours ago, and now it's 3:00pm.
Warning: Posts may cause derp.
Ghosts' Poet
> Make small talk at WATER COOLER
you'll then have a grave in the clouds where you won't lie too cramped
Defiler of Shops
> Compile DATA
You COMPILE that DATA! There isn't much so you finish at 3:30 PM.
> Make small talk at WATER COOLER
You head down to the WATER COOLER. ELMER LUTT, NANCY GOBOWSKI, and HYDROPHOBIC BOB are there.
>PONDER how it was 7:00 pm just a few hours ago, and now it's 3:00pm.
No it wasn't. It was just a TIME SKIP.
edited 6th Nov '10 7:54:49 AM by Reecer6
Soul is ugly.
>MENTION that there sure are a lot of BOBS around here.
Warning: Posts may cause derp.
>Wonder why TIME is going backwards and, in a FIT OF RAGE, PUNCH A HOLE in the nearest CLOCK.
>Pick SHARDS OF GLASS out of FIST. Might come in handy later on.
Warning: Posts may cause derp.
Defiler of Shops
>MENTION that there sure are a lot of BOBS around here.
You say your OBSERVATION just as PARANOID BOB rounds the CORNER. He jumps out the WINDOW in PARANOIA.
>Wonder why TIME is going backwards and, in a FIT OF RAGE, PUNCH A HOLE in the nearest CLOCK.
Sorry, I said 7:00 PM? I meant AM. But you punch a CLOCK anyways. The ARMS and GLASS fall out.
>Pick SHARDS OF GLASS out of FIST. Might come in handy later on.
All the GLASS landed on the FLOOR. However, you pick some up.
edited 5th Nov '10 6:55:54 PM by Reecer6
Soul is ugly.
>Look out WINDOW to EXAMINE PARANOID BOB's bloody corpse.
edited 5th Nov '10 9:19:19 PM by vaguelyyaoilookingcatboy
Warning: Posts may cause derp.
>Walk back to CUBICLE.
Warning: Posts may cause derp.
Defiler of Shops
>Look out WINDOW to EXAMINE PARANOID BOB's bloody corpse.
Since the WATER COOLER is located on the FIRST FLOOR, you see BOB running away.
>Walk back to CUBICLE.
You do so, realizing it to be 3:32 PM and the last TIME was your MISTAKE. If you want to play a GAME to pass the TIME; TIME TRAVEL UNDERSTANDER, HALF-LIFE 2, and TASTY PLANET installed on your COMPUTER.
edited 6th Nov '10 8:04:37 AM by Reecer6
Soul is ugly.
Gristknife
>Download Garry's Mod.
Charlie Tunoku is a lover and a fighter.
>TWIDDLE THUMBS extensively whilst waiting for download.
edited 6th Nov '10 7:28:15 PM by vaguelyyaoilookingcatboy
Warning: Posts may cause derp.
>Get TIRED from all this extensive THUMB TWIDDLING and GRAB some LUNCH at the PIZZA HUT a couple blocks away.
Warning: Posts may cause derp.
Ghosts' Poet
> Use PERFECTLY GOOD CAR to drive to PIZZA HUT
> Paint PERFECTLY GOOD CAR an amusing colour.
you'll then have a grave in the clouds where you won't lie too cramped
Whilst at Pizza Hut? Sir... I like your style.
Warning: Posts may cause derp.
Defiler of Shops
Download Garry's Mod.
After finding GARRY'S MOD on the WEB, you start downloading IT.
>TWIDDLE THUMBS extensively whilst waiting for download.
TWIDDLE TWIDDLE TWIDDLE.
>Get TIRED from all this extensive THUMB TWIDDLING and GRAB some LUNCH at the PIZZA HUT a couple blocks away.
> Use PERFECTLY GOOD CAR to drive to PIZZA HUT
You realize it's 4:00 PM. You leave WORK and get in your PERFECTLY GOOD CAR, and drive to PIZZA HUT. Along the WAY, you pass a ROOSTER on the ROAD using TELEKINESIS to lift CARS and throw them into BARACK OBAMA. Luckily, it doesn't pick YOU.
You arrive at PIZZA HUT.
> Paint PERFECTLY GOOD CAR an amusing colour.
Alas, there is no PAINT or BERRIES around, so you cannot PAINT your PERFECTLY GOOD CAR any COLOR, let alone an AMUSING COLOR, let alone THE COLOUR FROM OUT OF SPACE.
>Enter PIZZA HUT
You open the DOORS and walk in. There is a BURLY MAN sitting at a TABLE eating, and HE is the only COSTUMER. At the REGISTER is a PINEAPPLE.
edited 6th Nov '10 10:25:18 PM by Reecer6
Soul is ugly.
>PICK UP COMPLIMENTARY MAGAZINE.
>ORDER HAM, PINEAPPLE AND ONION PIZZA.
>INSIST that that isn't weird to DISGRUNTLED TEENAGE EMPLOYEE.
>INSIST that he makes it with the PINEAPPLE laying next to him, as to ensure freshness.
>Whilst waiting, POKE BURLY MAN with CONVENIENT STICK.
edited 6th Nov '10 10:28:54 PM by vaguelyyaoilookingcatboy
Warning: Posts may cause derp.
Defiler of Shops
>PICK UP COMPLIMENTARY MAGAZINE.
You pick up a MAGAZINE at the entrance. This might come in handy LATER.
>ORDER HAM, PINEAPPLE AND ONION PIZZA.
>INSIST that that isn't weird to DISGRUNTLED TEENAGE EMPLOYEE.
>INSIST that he makes it with the PINEAPPLE laying next to him, as to ensure freshness.
You say all these THINGS to the DISGRUNTLED TEENAGE EMPLOYEE. He grabs the PINEAPPLE and goes into the KITCHEN.
>Whilst waiting, POKE BURLY MAN with CONVENIENT STICK.
You're INSIDE! Why'd there be a STICK? However, you do take a STRAW from the DRINK STATION and poke the BURLY MAN.
Your OTHER ANKLE is now SPRAINED.
- Name: Henry
- Class: Office Drone
- Race: Human
- Color: Turquoise
- Time: 7:04 PM
- Statistics:
- Strength: AVERAGE
- Sanity: TO THE MAX
- Charisma: COULD GET IMPROVEMENT
- Passive Abilities:
- Clock Collector: You collect timepieces.
- Sort of Brave: You won't walk into a cavern full of grues, but you might stand up against a bank robber.
- Weaknesses:
- Spiders: They are scary.
- Sprained Ankles: Ouch, that'll impede you twofold.
- Angry: You need anger management classes but are always sidetracked by being late to work.
- Aggresions:
- THE SWEEPER: You know the best THING to do if someone's CHARGING YOU is to knock their LEGS away. REQUIRES x1 LEG
- THE PENCIL IS MIGHTIER: If used correctly, SHARP PENCILS can result in INJURIES as bad as ONES by a KNIFE. REQUIRES x1 SHARP PENCIL
- Wearable items:
- x1 BLUE T-SHIRT (worn)
- x1 CARGO PANTS (worn)
- x1 UNDERWEAR (worn)
- x1 ANALOG WATCH (worn)
- x1 BLACK SHADES (pocket)
- x1 CLOCKPIECE TIE (worn)
- Necessities:
- x1 KEY RING (pocket)
- x1 WALLET (pocket)
- x2 HOUSE KEY (key ring)
- x2 CAR KEY (key ring)
- x1 WORK KEY (key ring)
- x1 DRIVER'S LICENSE (wallet)
- x1 ID (wallet)
- x7 FAMILY PHOTOS (wallet)
- Money:
- On hand: $50
- Saved: $2, 057
- Medical Objects:
- x1 BOTTLE OF PAINKILLERS [x17 PILLS](pocket)
- Firearms:
- x60 PISTOL BULLETS (hammerspace)
- Miscellaneous:
- x4 SHARDS OF GLASS (hammerspace)
- x1 STRAW (held)
edited 6th Nov '10 10:41:15 PM by Reecer6
Soul is ugly.
>PONDER why BULLETS are in the INVENTORY or a MERE OFFICE DRONE.
>HOBBLE to a TABLE to WAIT.
>LOOK out WINDOW.
Warning: Posts may cause derp.
Defiler of Shops
>PONDER why BULLETS are in the INVENTORY or a MERE OFFICE DRONE.
...COMPLEMENTARY MAGAZINE...
>HOBBLE to a TABLE to WAIT.
>LOOK out WINDOW.
You sit down at a BOOTH. Out the WINDOW you see NUDIST BOB going around in CIRCLES. You immediately start THINKING about an AMUSING VIDEO GAME SPARTA REMIX.
edited 6th Nov '10 10:52:31 PM by Reecer6
Soul is ugly.
>SCREAM "Bob From Accounting started it!"
Warning: Posts may cause derp.