Trope Co. Incident Reports.

12/05/2023

We sure Bob's not gonna crash the Christmas party this year?

-Jdxtreme

Hello there. Oh, you're an SCP? No.

12/05/2023

Bob's trying to summon a demon in the kitchen again, can security get him out of there?

-PROPLAYEN Clone

Edited by PROPLAYEN on Dec 5th 2023 at 12:08:45 PM

12/05/23

I just wanted some fucking cake for my first office party, but now it’s an emergency. Initiate Code Jingle. I repeat, initiate Code Jingle.

- Canuck Mcduck

For a guy nicknamed Blondie, he is not the tiniest bit blond!

12/05/23

Aw, man, not another one!

-Dvorak

Edited by dvorak on Dec 5th 2023 at 1:16:19 PM

Now everyone pat me on the back and tell me how clever I am!

12/5/23

Bro, again? Seriously? Well, there's the answer to my bet with Scott. Looks like I owe him 20 dollars. Two more things:

1. Which demon did Bob try to summon?

2. Does this attempted demon summoning have anything to do with the fact that all of the markers I had in my office are gone for some reason?

-Pogakure

"Browsing this wiki doesn't seem to be in violation of any of the school rules, so..." | My Wall

12/5/23

Whoops, forgot to return your markers. I was mapping out a Grand Unifying Guess for Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff, and I ran out of red string.

As for the demon, I just threw it a Rubik's Cube and a bag of pork rinds. That should keep it occupied until we can get a positive ID.

-Negacube

12/5/23

So the demon ate the other PROPLAYEN Clone, I guess that satisfied him and he's back to whatever place he came from.

-PROPLAYEN Clone 2

12/7/2023

Did we get the demon out of the kitchen yet?

-Jdxtreme

Hello there. Oh, you're an SCP? No.

12/07/2023

I checked and it’s figured out fifty Rubix cubes in a row! It seems to be onto our game…

- Canuck Mcduck

Edited by CanuckMcDuck1 on Dec 7th 2023 at 12:29:20 PM

For a guy nicknamed Blondie, he is not the tiniest bit blond!

12/8/2023

Anyone know how to perform an exorcism?

-Jdxtreme

Hello there. Oh, you're an SCP? No.

12/08/2023

Okay I did a quick look in our database, and found the demon’s name is [REDACTED], AKA Perry. Says it’s obsessed with puzzles and was only kept at bay by a past employee’s jigsaw collection. It says it must be given a puzzle so difficult even it will Rage Quit. I’ll leave that to the experts.

- Canuck Mcduck

For a guy nicknamed Blondie, he is not the tiniest bit blond!

12/08/23

Apparently, making it play Abduction makes it go away.

-Dvorak

Edited by dvorak on Dec 8th 2023 at 11:37:56 AM

Now everyone pat me on the back and tell me how clever I am!

12/21/23

Alice has been trying to send suspicious packages with high levels of radiation to Bob, can someone investigate these?

-PROPLAYEN Clone 2

12/25/2023

Who put the package under the tree without investigating it?? Now Bob has a radioactive raygun.

-Revived Proplayen

1/16/2024

Got a situation in the Musicology Labs. The BGM is stuck on a mashup of "The Battle Hymn of the Republic", "Solidarity Forever", and "Blood on the Risers", with each line taken in sequence from each song. Like so:

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord

There can be no greater power anywhere beneath the sun

He had to sit and listen to those awful engines roar

And the last line of each verse is all sung simultaneously. Same with the refrain:

Glory, glory Hallelujah

Solidarity forever

Gory, gory, what a hell of a way to die

[UNSPEAKABLE RACKET]

This is far too complicated to be an accident. Does anyone have any leads to follow?

-Negacube

Edited by Negacube on Jan 16th 2024 at 5:18:32 AM

1/16/24

It's not Bob again?

-Dvorak

Now everyone pat me on the back and tell me how clever I am!

1/16/2024

I asked him, and he said he was bathing his goldfish at the time. It's obviously a flimsy excuse, but I'd rather keep our options open before we blame Bob for everything. Let's be professional here.

-Negacube

Edited by Negacube on Jan 16th 2024 at 5:44:33 AM

1/16/24

So I may have accidently erased Bob from existence...

- PROPLAYEN

1/16/2024

If that's the case, there goes that lead. On the plus side, at least he can't interfere any further.

After listening to the cacaphony for a few hours, I've noticed a couple of further quirks.

• "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" is a US Army Field Band recording, which isn't odd.
• "Solidarity Forever" alternates between the Pete Seeger version and the Tom Morello cover.
• "Blood on the Risers" is the weirdest by far, and likely the biggest clue. It sounds like it's being performed by Dos Gringos. Dos Gringos never performed that tune.

So either our mystery saboteur is a vocal mimic of Chris "Snooze" Kurek, or there's some parallel universe shenanigans going on. Again.

-Negacube

Edited by Negacube on Jan 16th 2024 at 5:35:11 AM

1/16/24

Until the situation is resolved, all in Musicology labs will be sealed off from the rest of the world. Their eardrums will have made a noble sacrifice.

- Canuck McDuck

For a guy nicknamed Blondie, he is not the tiniest bit blond!

1/16/24

So, as it turns out, no one took Bob's dumbass Origami Yoda puppet from him. The interns have been pestering me about it all day, saying it could predict the future and shit... So, I decided to bite the bullet. At around noon today, I went up to Bob and asked him if I could ask Yoda a question. He lifted up the puppet and I asked it what I should do today, to which Bob replied (and in a really shitty Yoda impression, might I add), "To the Door to Darkness, you must go. Or else unleashed, Doom will be."

At the time, I thought nothing of it. It was probably Bob just shitting me, as always. Then, around 3:15 PM, I felt a... premonition of sorts. Like, this sinking feeling that something really bad was about to happen. Remembering Bob/origami Yoda's advice, I used the Teleport Waypoint in my office to make it to the Door to Darkness, and sure enough, a Demon Horde was trying to escape beyond the door, and they probably would've had I not been there to stop them.

I want the Experimental Magic department to confiscate that "Origami Yoda" or whatever the fuck from Bob ASAP. Do NOT return it to him until we can ABSOLUTELY GUARANTEE that thing is not enchanted or something.

-Pogakure

"Browsing this wiki doesn't seem to be in violation of any of the school rules, so..." | My Wall

1/25/2024

Ok, who put the Benadryl bottle and "Take these to meet the Hat Man~!" note on my desk? It's not funny, and I already paid the Hat Man his $20. If you see either the "prankster" or the Hat Man, do not make eye contact. Just message me and I'll take it from there.

-Negacube

Edited by Negacube on Jan 25th 2024 at 6:39:19 AM

2/11/2024

Bob's messing with the rules of things he's not allowed to do and has been adding "negative rules", Please ignore these and ignore the "Rules Lawyer AI" yelling at you for not following these fake rules he added.

We were having such a good few weeks of no chaos from him...

- Proplayen Clone 1.5

Edited by PROPLAYEN on Feb 11th 2024 at 1:15:53 AM

2/29/2024

Just found a Philly cheesesteak sandwich with the toppings underneath the beef and a Post-it note labeled "qoq ɟo ʎsǝʇɹnoɔ ˙ɹǝuuıp ʎɐp dɐǝl ɹnoʎ ʎoɾuǝ" on my desk. Either Bob has learned to write upside-down and backwards, or we have a double-mirror-universe Bobbelganger on the loose. Whatever the case, he apparently wasn't as permanently erased as previously thought.

-Negacube

3/6/24

Requesting a clean-up crew dispatch to the library; the place is absolutely caked in ectoplasm. Wall to wall, shelf to shelf, just covered in the stuff.

The building's PKE meters have detected zero spectral energy, so it's not like we're being haunted by any ghosts. It begs the question: How the fuck did the ectoplasm get there, and who had the gall or the free time needed to slather it on every surface in the goddamn room?

I've sent an ectoplasm sample to the lab. Something suspicious is going on here...

-Pogakure

P.S. I bet Bob did it.

"Browsing this wiki doesn't seem to be in violation of any of the school rules, so..." | My Wall