Trope Co. Incident Reports.

If something crazy or illegal happens at the offices of Trope Co., they are to be logged here.

Persons of Interest if you need a reference.

9/3/2022

Some guy, looks extremely familiar, came into the building saying he was here for a job interview. He introduced himself as Makoto Kurosaki. Same name as our former coworker, not to mention he looks exactly like the guy too. Someone check his person for anything that could be used to grant immortality or something.

~Oopity

09/03/22

Bob managed to get his hands on the contaminated laborotory equipment from the basement, which he used to brew homemade whiskey. Several of us can hear colors and Remy has spent the last hour arguing with a "rabbit god" that only she can see.

-Dvorak

Edited by dvorak on Sep 3rd 2022 at 8:37:22 AM

9/3/2022

Detained three employees attempting to smuggle firearms into the giant spider breeding lab. Look, folks, I know this is an unpopular project, but the funding it brings in is irreplaceable. I'd go so far as to say this program is precious to our client. I don't want to fire anyone over this, because I get it, but at the end of the day, you are a lot more replaceable than they are. I will be submitting a formal request for increased security on the lab.

-Chloe Jessica

9/3/22

A explosion occurred in the propane storage silo earlier this morning. Five injuries and no fatalities were recorded. Preliminary investigation suggests the source of the explosion was an improperly sealed canister located near the top of the silo. No sure signs of foul play have been discovered as of this writing. Now to see if there are any "Buckley"s on payroll...

- BadToTheBaritone

Edited by badtothebaritone on Sep 3rd 2022 at 10:18:36 AM

09/03/22

The New Guy attempted to fly a contraption that can only be called a "jetpack" off of the top floor of the office. While he is alive, he did break both his ankles.

-Dvorak

Edited by dvorak on Sep 4th 2022 at 10:32:39 AM

9/3/22

Dvorak, do you know if this guy took any inspiration from Bob? If so, the latter is in DEEP SHIT.

~Oopity

09/03/22

Bob said, and I quote, "Not Me This Time." Wikilink and everything.

-Dvorak

Edited by dvorak on Sep 4th 2022 at 10:32:27 AM

9/3/2022

Entertained a group of researchers from the SCP Foundation. Standard procedural visit to ensure we are taking appropriate containment measures for the anomalies we have on loan from them. Among the delegates was Dr. Jack Bright. At approximately 14:45, Dr. Bright apparently ran into Bob, who was attempting to gain access to the ventilation system, no doubt in order to pull off one of his "classic" pranks. Bright assisted Bob in obtaining access and the two proceeded to flood the vents with some sort of nerve agent that caused all exposed to it to dance uncontrollably, resulting in damage to several pieces of sensitive equipment that were in use at the time, as well as 8 minor injuries and 3 serious casualties. Effective immediately, Bob is to be kept under strict observation whenever visitors are on site, and Jack Bright is permanently banned from TropeCo premises. We can't risk those two getting together again.

-Chloe Jessica

Edited by ChloeJessica on Sep 3rd 2022 at 9:05:20 AM

9/4/22

You know that won't stop Bob from trying to show up at Site 19, or any Foundation site for that matter. That should be added to the list I think.

Also, what's the status on the whole Makoto situation? I for one vote to keep him around, as it would right one of Bob's MANY wrongs.

~Oopity

9/4/22

A large, hollowed out pumpkin was found on the Pumpkin Chuckin' Range. Upon closer inspection, the pumpkin appeared to be rigged with an improvised explosive device. The explosive was defused and the pumpkin discarded. It's not clear who tried to set up this pumpkin bomb, although Bob is a prime suspect.

- Pogakure

09/04/22

The Shoggoth chased Suki up the statue of The Boss in the front yard. Suki has declined to comment, and as always, the Shoggoth only shreiks "Tekili-li!" in response to questioning.

-Dvorak

Edited by dvorak on Sep 4th 2022 at 10:32:07 AM

𝙳𝚊𝚝𝚎: 𝟾/𝟸𝟹/𝟷𝟿𝟼𝟾

𝙸 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎... 𝚗𝚘 𝚏𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚊. 𝙸 𝚘𝚙𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚘𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚘 𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚌𝚔 𝚘𝚗 𝙱𝚘𝚋 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚗𝚎𝚡𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝙸 𝚔𝚗𝚎𝚠 𝙸 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚜𝚒𝚡𝚝𝚢 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚜 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚊𝚜𝚝. 𝚆𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝙸 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚋𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚋𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎'𝚕𝚕 𝚋𝚎 𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚕 𝚝𝚘 𝚙𝚊𝚢.

Date: 9/4/2022

Found a weird report when going over archived material today. Looks old, written in typewriter. See attachment. And make a memo for 8/23/2028 to have someone watching Bob especially close that day.

-Chloe Jessica

Edited by ChloeJessica on Sep 4th 2022 at 10:15:49 AM

09/04/22

Caught Bob trying to beat Axikun to death with a tablespoon. No explaination was given beyond some ill-defined insult, and the fact that Bob is nuts.

-Dvorak

9/4/22

I think I figured out why we haven't been getting any mail recently. Someone thought it was funny to change our address to that of the B3313 office, and who knows how many packages they put inside the damn building. I already corrected this and I'll have the SCP guys try to recover the packages but you all might want to place all orders you made since August 24th again and have them delivered to our current address this time.

~Oopity

Edited by OopityDoop on Sep 4th 2022 at 1:58:09 PM

9/4/2022 TNG slipped some "special poisons" at Bob's behest into Benbot's and The Incubus' Drinks, resulting in both running to the Medbay after noticing the taste was wrong, luckily they were cured before anything "naughty" or bad could happen from it.

-A Very Concerned Incubus

Edited by JKBenbot on Sep 4th 2022 at 2:56:52 PM

9/4/22

After raging at a video game, the computer in Bob's cubicle was smashed to bits. Bob tried to pin the blame on the Shoggoth, but we all know it was him. Recompense for the damages will be coming out of his paycheck.

-Pogakure

9/5/22

Someone redirected all the links on our company's main page to the You Are An Idiot website. Who knew it could still fuck up our computers 20 years later? When I find out who did this, they are personally paying to replace the computer in Violet's office. Currently, I suspect Bob.

~Oopity

05/09/22: Bob ate my chicken wings again. I've told him not to do that several times at this point, but he keeps doing it. I've told him that if he wants chicken wings, I'll buy him some, but no, he keeps stealing them!

~Mr. C.

Funny coincidence that this should happen while I myself was waiting for a new laptop.

9/5/22

At around 8:00 AM today, an unidentified speaker from within the building began playing Thomas Dolby's "She Blinded Me With Science" at max volume. As of this log, the song has been playing on loop for about three hours, and no one here has a clue as to where the music is coming from. We've checked Bob's phone and pressed him for information, but he claims to know nothing. I personally don't believe him.

-Pogakure

05/09/22: An unpleasant character calling himself Goofus visited our office today. He acted like a 2000s internet stereotype, using homophobic and ableist language to describe anything he didn't like, calling anyone who disagreed with him an idiot and just being generally unpleasant. When asked why he was here in the first place, he simply said "for the crossover" as if we were supposed to know exactly what he wants talking about. Bob seemed to know who he was, but refused to explain anything beyond some nonsense about a "cinematic universe". Upon further investigation, it was found that Goofus was actually one of the most dangerous men in the world, allegedly able to create an army of robots from consumer electronics. Perhaps that's where Bob got the idea. It is likely that, given the chance, Bob and Goofus would have caused untold destruction using the materials in this building, but fortunately, a man named Gallant intervened and distracted Bob long enough for us to improvise a plan to remove Goofus from the premises. I have submitted a request to maintenance that substantial repairs be carried out on the Pumpkin Chucker and that the boardroom and surrounding areas be inspected for structural damage.

~Mr. C.

9/5/22

First Dr. Bright and now Goofus? Yeah, anyone Bob insists on having visit the office gets a hard no from me.

Also, when clocking out for the night, I tried to get directions to the new Japanese steakhouse that just opened near here, but Google Maps wouldn't give me directions. It couldn't even determine my location. I just went home and cooked my own dinner while listening to the news. What I assume was a GPS satellite blew up at around 5 PM today. I'm going to waterboard Bob for information on this tomorrow.

~Oopity

Edited by OopityDoop on Sep 5th 2022 at 8:20:05 AM

09/05/22

A sattelite just smashed Bob's car into chutney. I've never heard anyone swear that loudly for that long.

-Dvorak

Edited by dvorak on Sep 5th 2022 at 6:32:06 AM

9/6/22

Found a piece of paper taped to the front door at the start of my shift. It was a handwritten noise complaint from the owner of the building next door. As it turns out, no one did find that speaker that was blasting Thomas Dolby all day yesterday. That thing was on nonstop until around midnight, when the batteries presumably died. I'm heading next door to give my sincerest apologies to our neighbors.

-Pogakure

9/6/22

While I was waterboarding Bob, he let it slip that he brought down the satellite. He planned the part where it landed on his car so we wouldn't suspect him. I honestly can't tell if this is the smartest thing he's done all year, or just downright stupid.

~Oopity