Whatever you were doing abruptly stops. You are immediately transported to an unfamiliar location, a fast food restaurant, with orange and blue colored seats and tables that look abandoned in a hurry, and boards covering the walls and doors. In front of you is a man, who looks strangely... odd. He almost seems to look like absolutely no one. Like a basic template for what a human may look like. He dons an orange cap with a blue badge, that both read "FBB" in bold letters.

Hello. I am the Burger Barn Guy, demigod of the burger deities. We are in great danger. One of our members is fading ever so slowly from existence due to an anomaly in the spacetime continuum. The Great One's existence has worked to prevent the burger deities from disappearing... however, The Great One has gone missing, and we cannot find them. In search of the Great One, we have been gathering and examining people from across the multiverse.

...while we are sure that none of you are related to The Great One in any way, there is an issue: Three of our worst enemies have breached this very dimension, attempting to corrupt the burger deities for evil. They are planning to steal our secrets on Burger Making, and use them for selfish gain. Sickening.

The rest of you unaffiliated with these greedy scum- you will have to help us weed them out. However, you will also be tasked in keeping us alive by performing part-time work in the restaurant. The scum have the capability to perform tasks as well, however most of the time they will fail. If one has failed far too often, it may be best to vote them off for execution. Keep in mind, however, that the scum have tricks of their own that they will not hesitate to use.

Do not bother attempting to leave. The Burger Barn Wormholes to the Central Burger Barn have been shut. If you try to leave by breaking through the boards, you'll be greeted with a bottomless pit in a black void.

One last thing; let me introduce you to the deities.

A bald ghost with a hairy beard floats down from the ceiling.

I'm Beard Burger Master, my friends! Very nice to see you.

A man with a cheeseburger for a head clears his throat.

Top of the morning to you. My name is Mayor McCheese. After Ronald McDonald cast me out of Mcdonaldland, I've come to see the true meaning of burger making, which is, to feed the people, what ho!

A penguin in a straw hat stands up.

Ah'm Penguin Joe, keeper-upper of the ice cream... uh... thingy.

A child speaks up. They look around 15 years old, wear a tiny hard hat, and glow a faint orange aura.

*cough* Timeline Master Mad. Sorry, just... fading from existence. I promise it's not contagious.

They will occasionally visit to judge your progress. However, they must remain dormant in order to conserve energy.

Please read through your Worker's Manual for help.

Worker's Manual

   Burger, She Wrote.   

Template

Name:
Age:
Gender:
Species:
Abilities:
Occupation:
Other:

Cast

1. Bonald DcMonald (Definitely an original hamburger mascot! Not at all a rip-off.) DEAD: Part-Timer Oh, gee, I certainly do wonder who killed him.

2. Colonel Noodles (In parenthesis, let me stress the fact clearly. No matter what the deal, he craves for noodles dearly.) DEAD: Security Guard If only the innocents didn't keep their options open.

3. Timon and Pumbaa (They'll teach you how to eat bugs! Except we're sure the Burger Barn is roach-free.) DEAD: Handymen Hooked and slashed to death. We can certainly say that there are worries.

4. Hageta Hakobu (Oh, god, not this again. ANYTHING BUT THIS.) DEAD: Surveillance Person Pulled a gambit that bit him in the ass... just like his father.

5. Linda Belcher (She'll put The Spice Rack™ to good use here.) DEAD: Part-Timer (Ow, her face!)

6. Principal Seymour Skinner (ACKSHEWALY HIS NAME IS ARMIN TAMZARIA- [immediately gunned down by the military]) DEAD: Manager Got bandwagoned to death.

7. Ogórki the Picklehog (Funniest shit I've ever seen.) DEAD: Part-Timer You FORGOT the PICKLES!

8. Jake Roberts (Snake? SNAKE!? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!)

9. No One (Fuck you, Knife, for making things complicated.)

10. Solanacae Bakersby (Probably won't tell me her baking recipes. Alright then. Keep your secrets.)

11. Squidward Tennisballs (Wait, no, we misspelled that. His name is actually Tortellini.) DEAD: Sabotager We finally got one.

12. Burgerpants (You're really scraping the bottom of the barrel, kid.)

13. Rosie (Bet you 100 dollars she'll get the Cartoon Character role- wait, no, we don't have that one.) DEAD: Part-Timer Got burgered, decapitatied, and flushed

14. Snom DEAD: Mascot The poor sap just got here, and died...

Edited by madface7 on Jan 6th 2021 at 1:20:14 PM

Name: Bonald DcMonald

Age: 40

Gender: Male

Species: RAN RAN RUU

Abilities: SHOUTING A LOT, being insane, diabetes

Occupation: Restaurant owner, serial killer

Other: Ba-da-pah-pah-pah, I’m hating it

Name: Colonel Noodles

Age: unknown, but fairly young; probably 13-14

Gender: male

Species: human

Abilities: good with making technology to best suit his needs (e.g. ray guns that turn food into noodles, a boombox that brainwashed the local hairdresser into giving everybody afros, etc.)

Occupation: heir to his father’s fast food chain by day, evil overlord with thousands of robot henchmen by night

Other: secretly loves all kinds of food besides just noodles, but has a particular soft spot for Chinese cuisine; speaks in grey text

Name: Timon and Pumbaa

Age: Adult

Gender: Male

Species: Meerkat and warthog

Abilities: Digging and great planning abilities (Timon); speed and being the conscience of the duo (Pumbaa)

Occupation: ...They're animals?

Other: If one dies, the other dies too. Timon speaks in gold, Pumbaa speaks in cinnamon.

• Name: Hageta Hakobu
• Age: Presumably young adult, chronologically much younger
• Gender: Male enough
• Species: Unholy abomination
• Abilities: The power of god and anime
• Occupation: Part-time fast food worker... duh
• Other: You know I had to do it to em.

All riiiiiight!

Name: Linda Belcher
Age: Mid-40's
Gender: Female
Species: Human
Abilities: Knows her way around a burger joint thanks to working in her husband's restaurant. Good at improvising songs. Has raised three children.
Occupation: Helps her husband run the Bob's Burgers burger joint.
Other: Likes to be appreciated. Do NOT call her a "boob punch." Speaks in red.

Name: Principal Seymour Skinner
Age: 46 years (according to the wiki)
Gender: Male
Species: Human (?)
Abilities: Thinking up of delightfully devilish plans, making unforgettable luncheons, being a principal (obviously)
Occupation: Principal
Other: Speaks in Bold Gold

Edited by MOARPYLONZ on Dec 28th 2020 at 7:20:07 AM

• Name: Ogórki the Picklehog
• Age: unknown
• Gender: Male
• Species: Pickle-hedgehog
• Abilities: Speed, Pickle Powers
• Occupation: Bootleg mascot
• Other: speaks in green

Edited by Zanreo on Dec 28th 2020 at 4:17:06 PM

• Name: Jake Roberts
• Age: Adult
• Gender: Male
• Species: Human, with a dash of snake
• Abilities: Expert in mind games, abilities to control snakes, ability to keep cool
• Occupation: Wrestler, who's looking for another job.
• Other: Speaks in blue

Edited by MatthewLMayfield on Dec 28th 2020 at 9:27:40 AM

Name: "No One Here Is 5 Crows In A Trenchcoat", or No One for short.

Age: Uh, 18. Yeah, 18, that sounds like a normal human age.

Gender: Human

Species: Very Human

Abilities: The ability to produce crows from inside their trenchcoat. They're not crows in a trenchcoat though! They swear!

Occupation: Normal human stuff.

Other: Not 5 crows in a trenchcoat. Actually, there's 6 of them. Ae, Ei, Iye, Owe, Uwe, and Ye. They're six sentient teenage crows trying to pass as human. Speaks in purple.

Edited by MadameButterflyKnife on Dec 28th 2020 at 10:13:49 AM

Name: Solanacae Bakersby

Age: 33

Gender: Female

Species: Hobbit

Abilities: Big eater, good at baking and keeping accounts. Can be very silent and stealthy.

Occupation: Runs her own bake shop in Hobbiton!

Other: Speaks in teal

Edited by PointMaid on Dec 28th 2020 at 10:29:06 AM

Name: Squidward Tentacles

Age: 60 according to the wiki

Gender: Male

Species: Octopus

Abilities: He's intelligent and quite durable. In addition, he's also skilled at driving, as well as good at doing artistic stuffs (even though his taste is bad).

Occupation: Cashier (though sometimes called to be a fry cook whenever Spongebob is gone)

Other: He'll speak in this text color.

Name: "Burgerpants"
Age: 19, and he's already wasted his whole life.
Gender: Male (he/him)
Species: ... Monster?
Abilities: Can't go to hell because he's all out of vacation days.
Occupation: Burger Fool
Other: M

Name: Rosie
Age: That's rude to ask ('round 30)
Gender: Lassie
Species: Raccoon
Abilities: Impeccable comedic timing, impeccable greed, able to summon a laugh track at will.
Occupation: Cartoon character
Other: She's animaney, totally insaney, uses cinnamon text.

Name: Sam
Age: 23.
Gender: Male
Species: Shape
Abilities: I don't have any yet, soo.. sorry 'bout that.
Occupation: Well... he's a part of the ColorShapes, i guess.
Other: He speaks in this This thingy.

Edited by ThatOneCityFan on Dec 28th 2020 at 11:26:24 PM

You've had kind of a bad history in FG, so your application is denied, Cityfan. My apologies.

Okay, i'm fine with that..

Name: The Shag

Image:

Age: ???

Gender: ....Male? Yeah, Male.

Species: Lake Monster

Abilities: Is Strategic, Sly, And Witty

Occupation: Murdergame Host, Advertising Writer.

Other:    Talks like this.   

And all signups are filled! The game starts at 3 PM CST on December 30.

Role PMs have been sent. The game starts in 2 hours and 10 minutes.

It is time for the burger.

In the burger resturant, a being wearing a grey hat and a grey trenchcoat walks towards the counter.

"Hello! Yes, we, a totally normal human being, would like all the fries."

...I'm pretty sure you and I both have more important things to do than ask for fries, FBBG says to the Crow. Besides, you have access to the burger machines during work sessions. You can just make some yourself.

"Whaaa? Where am I? Where's my Bobby and the kids?"

I'm pretty sure I explained why all of you are here already. Did you read the opening post, or am I just tripping.