Wolf At the Door: A "Werewolf" Murdergame

”Ah... goddamnit...”

(A man wakes up, seeming to have hurt himself in the crash. He appears to be wearing black pants, a posh-looking jacket, and a pince-nez. In addition, he has a handlebar mustache and metal plates on his cheeks.)

”Ugghhhh... where am I? Who are you people?”

Zis is not funny! I'm goink to kill all of you if you do not speak up soon!

The woman grabs the mustached man's hand and pulls them on his feet. "Let me help you up. As for my name? I am Via Angelo. My pleasure to meet your acquaintance. And what is yours?"

Don-chan gets up after the crash and looks around, finding himself in an unfamiliar, unsettling place. "Huh? Where am I... and what happened, da-don? he says as he turns around to see what's left of the carriage.

”Thank you for pulling me up. My name is Reginald... Reginald... I haven’t the foggiest clue what my last name is.”

(Reginald dusts off his jacket.)

[Silvia turns to see PF Mad and lets out a quiet chuckle.]    "Oh... I should introduce myself, if only to satisfy your desire for all of us to do so. I am Silvia Seofon, nomadic spirit. Nice to meet you..."    [She pauses, then puts a single finger on her chin introspectively.]    "Ah, but it would be rude for me to not ask you the same question. Who are you?"   

Hm. You all do not seem to be aggressively killing each ozer over a pizza. Zerefore I can calmly say zis must not be my home universe.

Via looks down at the stuffed bunny. "It is a pleasure to meet you, Silvia. Are you alright? Did you happen to see what happened to us?"

I apologize. My name is Pizzafinder Madface7 the First, but you may just refer to me as Mad. So, vhat... are you supposed to be, exactly?

”Ah, nice to meet you, Ms. Seofon! I do hope we get along well. You can just call me Reginald.”

   "As you can see, I am..."    [Silvia makes a general downwards motion and tilts her head forwards a little, allowing one of her ears to flop down.]    "A sentient rabbit doll. It gets more complicated than that, but as you are all acquaintances to me yet, I shall withhold the more confusing details until I feel you are ready to hear them."    [She looks at Via & Reginald and smiles faintly.]    "Nice to meet you as well! And I'm quite alright. Thank you for your concern... Alas, I was knocked out cold in what I assume to be the crash, so I cannot recall anything between boarding the train and now."   

Vell, I... don't know vhat's going on, but it's mostly normal for me. Sometimes I just fall through the floor, sometimes I vomit rainbows, sometimes I summon giant goats, and sometimes...

While Mad was talking, his face had flipped upside down in an almost fluid motion, and his eyes started flashing random colors..

Zis happens.

“My past is cloudy... but I think I can remember a few details. I used to teach at St. Barnaby’s Academy, and I went to quite a few archaeological digs.”

Don-chan then walks over to the group. "Anyone know what just happened, da-don?"

"What kinda fucking into 'the rabbit hole' bullshit is this? Who the fuck are all of you?"

I never know vhat is happenink. Sometimes I even get confused on why I started doing zis German accent in ze first place.

"IS THAT A FUCKING PINEAPPLE"

”MY WORD! Do you kiss your mother with that mouth, Mr.....”

I get confused... zen I remember. It's zhose Pepperonis! Ze pineapples are superior in every vay! Ve must purge ze earth of zis unpure race!

[Silvia tenses up as Travis begins ranting, then sighs.]    "Sir. Your language. Watch it."   

"Travis Touchdown. Go ahead, I've heard em all."

Could you please tone down ze svearing? It makes you look like a schtupid twelve-year old.

"Lemme guess, you wanna end up on a horrible pizza?"

Mad stares at Travis with rage.

I... vill... END YOU!

Mad starts to beat Travis up with the force of a million pineapple pizza lovers.

[Silvia immediately starts trying to pull Mad off of Travis, which doesn't do much since she's literally only a foot and a half tall.]    "Argh... Can someone please diffuse this conflict for me?"