ENVOYS: A Dumb Crossover Text Adventure

> Obviously, Ryu is using Cat's Eye. We want to fill that enemy compendium, don't we?

"Screw it, I AM going to enjoy this game!"

> Penn, BLINDING LIGHTTTTTTTT > Yew, Megaton Punch! > Obviously, Ryu is using Cat's Eye. We want to fill that enemy compendium, don't we?
Penn points his finger up, as bright orbs all around him light up and concentrate into a ball of light waiting to be detonated. He throws it at Agatha as it detonates infront of his face!

FSSHWN! POW! KAPOW! -10!
Yew soon follows up by mustering the planet-splitting power Kirby has and SLAMS his fist right into Agatha's guts, the ground cracking underneath Yew. SLAM! PUNCH! PLOW! -15!
Ryuusei then squints his eyes, observing the enemy.

Agatha Yuki, 12th Knight of the Round Table

Items: Gungnir (Summonable lance out of concentrated light), Business Suit (There's armor underneath. Shame it doesn't do much against magical powers.) Prism (Power amplifier. But why would such a high-ranking member need one...?) Bloodied Eyepatch (Seems to have lost their other eye in an unpleasant way.)

gungnir..? who tf names their weapons tha-
Gh... Come on! GUNGNIIIIR! OH SHIT Agatha summons a lance out of light, and then throws it up in the sky. It multiplies as a javelin rain falls down on Yew and his comrades! FSH! OW! DOH! OOF! -5! -5! -5!
YEW: III—- PENN: 10/25 RYUUSEI: 5/20 AGATHA YUUKI: 53/100 Bright (Suffers additional effects from Penn's skills), Blinded (Can't land physical attacks)

Edited by Awe921 on Aug 7th 2020 at 3:05:11 PM

>Ryu, now's a good time to use your cat food.

The possum is a potential perpetrator; he did place possum poo in the plum pot.

> Penn, use Restoration!

"I just want what everyone else has, that's all."

> Suplex Agatha, just because you can.

"Screw it, I AM going to enjoy this game!"

> Ryu, now's a good time to use your cat food. > Penn, use Restoration! > Suplex Agatha, just because you can.
Yew dashes to Agatha and grabs them, jumping high up in the sky and SLAM them in the ground. SLAM!! -5!
Penn raises his axe high up to the sky, letting the brilliant orbs surround the blade of the fireaxe as he spins it around, summoning a healing wave. Much better! +3, +12, +10!
Ryuusei then.. starts eating cat food. Ew. <[It may look nauseating, but this delicacy has been carefully crafted to offer the best flavor possible.] I'm... pretty sure you have some bias there. agreed Much... better, I guess? +10!
If I'm not going to see anything... Agatha starts gathering the light around him into a concentrated sphere... and threw it at the party, as it blows up in their face!

OOF! OW! DOH! -5! The party is blinded!
YEW: I I I I I - Blinded (Can't land physical attacks) PENN: 17/25 Blinded (Can't land physical attacks) RYUUSEI: 15/20 Blinded (Can't land physical attacks) AGATHA YUUKI: 48/100 Bright (Suffers additional effects from Penn's skills), Blinded (Can't land physical attacks)

Edited by Awe921 on Aug 10th 2020 at 7:25:55 AM

> Ryuusei, Breaking Sclerosis!

"I just want what everyone else has, that's all."

>Yew, COPY ATTACK!

and the public won't dwell on my transmission cause it wasn't televised.

>Use Restoration

> Penn, Restoration is still recharging, and your team's in good health. Use Light Lance instead!

This legal, right?

"I just want what everyone else has, that's all."

> This the lance to pierce the heaven! Wait, this is a lance, not a drill.

"Screw it, I AM going to enjoy this game!"

> Yew, COPY ATTACK! Yew readies himself, making sure to copy any next attack.
> Use Restoration Penn prepares to cast Restoration, gathering light agai- > Penn, Restoration is still recharging, and your team's in good health. Use Light Lance instead! > This the lance to pierce the heaven! Wait, this is a lance, not a drill. <[Penn, whats with the-] Penn converts the light into another light lance, firing it at Agatha! FWOOOM! The light lance lands right onto Agatha's chest. The light gathered around Agatha from the Undead Slaying Combo detonates, dealing an extra 10 damage! FWOOOSH! STAB! KABOOM! -15!
Yew then proceeds to summon another lance of light and fires it at Agatha! STAB! -5!
> Ryuusei, Breaking Sclerosis! Ryuusei closes their eyes (not like it would have made any difference since they're still blinded), and focuses. A knife in their brain. A tiny, sharp needle slowly piercing through tissue. And then, for a brief moment, Agatha felt their very own mind give up. -8 wow thats 10 times more morbid than i expected then again it is a brain-related disease...
Agatha puts a palm on their red-stained business suit. Tch. I guess you ARE better than I thought you to be... In which case... Agatha clenches their fist, shooting the group a glare of anger. The area around him darkens, that darkness soon expanding and his fist glowing ever brighter. Something terrible is coming. + Charging!
YEW: I I I I I - Blinded (Can't land physical attacks) PENN: 17/25 Blinded (Can't land physical attacks) RYUUSEI: 15/20 Blinded (Can't land physical attacks) AGATHA YUUKI: 20/100 Blinded (Can't land physical attacks) Charging (Will use a powerful attack)

Edited by Awe921 on Aug 10th 2020 at 7:53:11 AM

> Ryu, use Cunning Purr on Penn!

"I just want what everyone else has, that's all."

>Use undead slaying combo

>ORA ORA ORA rapidfire fist

Edited by PinkCelebi on Aug 15th 2020 at 4:52:47 PM

"Screw it, I AM going to enjoy this game!"

> Ryu, use Cunning Purr on Penn! bruh i'm not about to purr infront of that guy then again, none of us can see right now, so..... Penn briefly hears some purring, then stops feeling his wounds! Thanks, to uh, whoever did that! Much better! +8!
>Use undead slaying combo Penn starts wildly swinging his axe around!... Atleast he hit a tree...
I think I got him! > ORA ORA ORA rapidfire fist Yew attempts to punch Agatha several times! .. Rolled a 5! Miss! Whiff! Whoops! POW! KAPOW! -2! Gh-
.. It doesn't matter. Here comes- your destruction and obliteration, all in one disc!! Agatha absorbs the light that blinded everyone, forming...!!

Behold, the LIGHT OF JUDGEMEEEEENT!

OH SHIT W-What do we do?!
I think I have an idea. Huh-

BRUH WTF R U DOING?????? Scoring...

... a HOOOOOMERUUUUUUUN!!

The disc is spent spinning even faster, back at Agatha!!

uh oh.
K.O.!!

The impact covers the arena in another blinding light. As the light dissipates, Ryuusei spots Agatha's shoes... without Agatha wearing them. They fall down to the ground. wait is he is he dead?????? <[I assume not. If we presume the light vaporized Agatha, then if these shoes are still intact, this must mean there's some of Agatha inside there, much to our disgust.] <[Unfortunately, another peek reveals that there's no remains. He likely got away. I.. think that's a good thing, to be honest. I don't want to fight another one of these 'Knights'.
Oh, you guys are okay!.. Whats with these shoes on the ground? > blues: that light was brighter than any beacon i've ever seen... oh, penn, you're ok! So, uh, how was the whole 'holding them back' thing? pretty well. only problem is that there might be a new lake now. What? Doesn't matter- lets get out of here before more of this Rebellion's troops arrive here! Mhm. You and your group soon get on the car. As you look around the rather barren space, you notice Ryuusei playing with the shoes Agatha left behind.
Where do we even go now...? idk Seems like Whiterose is a middle spot between the Rebellion and Resistance conflict. Considering how much of a pain it was, for both of us to deal with them, I suggest we go further from that place. Perhaps there's not so much fighting going on the farther we go from there? Seems like a good idea. What do you think, Yew? why are you just asking yew Oh, sorry, I mean all of you. But especially Yew. thats some bias for yew there Can you blame me though? That reflect was awesome. <[Artix approves!]

Edited by Awe921 on Aug 15th 2020 at 6:02:08 AM

> Take Agatha's shoes

and the public won't dwell on my transmission cause it wasn't televised.

>Run as far as you can, as quick as you can.

> Except... where should you go from here? Ask your friends for suggestions.

"I just want what everyone else has, that's all."

> Take Agatha's shoes You elegantly swipe Agatha's shoes from Ryuusei's grasp. bruh i was busy using them For what? listen here, yew. your mind, your conscience, they're too infant to comprehend my purpose and my intentions with the knight's shoes. so i suggest you give them back and let the real smart ones use them- Equipped Agatha's shoes. oh come on...

> Run as far as you can, as quick as you can. Shoes aside, we should get out of here. Fast. Me, Penn and Ryuusei only survived because I managed to reflect the spinning disc of death back, and I'm pretty sure that's not a good strategy to rely on. So uh...

> Except... where should you go from here? Ask your friends for suggestions. Where.. do we go exactly? I suggest we try to get away from Whiterose. Looks like its center stage for a big fight against the two factions. Zel, are you sure you're following logic here? Well, yeah, of course you want to send the strong- By RPG logic, we should go to Whiterose. Obviously, this must be like Dragon Quest, where the farther we go from our home, the more dangerous things are going to get. or you know, level scaling? as in, you got stronger, so you get in more dangerous situations? I'd like to pretend that evil invention by the forces of evil doesn't exist, thank you!

So theres two options- one, hope that RPG logic applies and that the closer you are to where you started is a safer place, or two, listen to real life logic and drive farther away from Whiterose.

> Reality Ensues, man. Get outta there!

"I just want what everyone else has, that's all."

> Haven't you heard of Doomed Hometown? That thing is gonna spike in difficulty level!

"Screw it, I AM going to enjoy this game!"

> Do the shoes have special powers? Also, Reality Ensues. Get out of there.

and the public won't dwell on my transmission cause it wasn't televised.

> Reality Ensues, man. Get outta there! Zel groans, shaking his head. Oh, for gods sake... Penn. This is a life or death situation. Didn't you hear Yew say that you only survived that disc because Yew managed to reflect it? That functions like a game. Seriously, we had damage numbers n stuff. And like, all of our 'entities' come from games. So it should work like a game, don't you think? (.. for Nova's sake...) Help me out here, Artix. <[Even I think its stupid, Penn!... Okay, while I tend to charge at enemies and start smiting those forsaken undead, two armies might be a bit too much, don't you think?] Didn't you fight against a bunch of armies? Of undead, I mean. Ah, I've got an idea.
> Haven't you heard of Doomed Hometown? That thing is gonna spike in difficulty level! If we're going by game logic, that means our hometown's going to be doomed. Penn nods. Alright, I'm following you... Which means its going to be a late-game dungeon. Oh. Okay, we're getting out of here. finally... > Do the shoes have special powers? Also, Reality Ensues. Get out of there. As the engine starts up, you inspect the shoes. You try squishing them, but it doesn't inch. Even though it feels very light and soft, you feel as if it can tank something going at the speed of light. VRRRM! You flinch, as the vehicle starts moving. As you look out of the back, to the forest that soon fades out into the distance, you wonder how Bark is doing.
The answer to that? A whimper echoes across the green plains. Bark lands behind the crystalline megalith, as they struggle to get up.    Stand up, dog. We are not done.    We ARE done.    Ah. So the Knightess themselves has come. You have heard the news of Agatha being forced to retreat, haven't you?    Correct. According to Agatha's reports, Agatha's attackers were investigating this area, presumably led by this 'Yew'. G-gh... I do not wish to harm you, unlike my lackey, the DEATHKNIGHT. Agatha has told me you were investigating this area. The Knightess looks at the crystal megalith. Tell me, what is the purpose of this construct? The point guardian growls. I-I'm not telling...!! Don't you wish to be free from the hand of humanity? ... W-Whats your deal with humanity?! Why do you insist on freeing us from them? They give us pets, treats... ...I asked you a question. Answer.    Knightess, I think it is obvious that the dog's hiding something.       Perhaps we should destroy the crystal. It could be a superweapon, and that is what I'm going to assume if you don't answer.    D-DON'T DO THAT! F..Fine! They're... They're made out of the same material as my headband... If you put crystals like the one on my headband, on that slot over there, it'll empower them...    Ah.       Ahahahaha... So they give people more power, hm?       I presume you have exposed yourself to it... While I may not have this... 'crystal'...       I have something else, which just might do the trick.    The Knightess turns around, leaving. W.. What are you—
A loud sound... and then, the sounds of tires braking. Oh, if it isn't a gas station. i think we all deserve a break. dibs on the sweets! You and your companions exit the truck. Can't hurt to grab a few supplies!

Edited by Awe921 on Aug 25th 2020 at 10:53:55 AM

> POTATO CHIPS

and the public won't dwell on my transmission cause it wasn't televised.