While the Brainiac is still busy being blind, i decide i need to escape. Luckily he hasn't let out his flock of sheep yet. But i know all too well that the brainiac has read the odyssey as he is an intellectual, so instead of hiding under a sheep myself, i bind a time bomb under one of the sheep. No, not a bomb with a timer, rather a bomb that freezes time in a certain area! as the Brainiac pats down the sheep las if he were some form of airport security, my terrorist is triggered. and i can escape! it's not like i was in a cave that i couldn't leave if i were to beat the brainiac!
since the brainiac is time-frozen i'm free to seek out my fellow semi-existent players. I tell them about my situation and the fact that we can ambush the Brainiac now. after a while we've settled on a battleplan: We make a Giant wooden horse that the Brainiac will let into his lair, where he's off guard. But wait! we've just established that the Brainiac has read Homer's works! Woe is me! hahaha, no, i've thought of that. anyways, obviously the brainiac will try to catch us while we're not yet prepared, so instead of filling it with us, we've filled it with several high powered explosives, that the semi existent players conjured up for this occasion. And best of all is that, when the Brainiac realises what we've done, he'll notice the fact that we've been hitting his ankles while he was distracted by our trap.
or at least, that's what i told the semi-existent players.
in reality the planning was just an excuse for me to herd them all into a single space and gain their trust. while everyone gears up i create walls of ice around them. I then pull down their world's sun, while shrinking it and containing the heat to a small space with my powers. i then let the miniature sun detonate, while containing the heat within the ice walls. i then detonate their "remains" with the bombs they summoned beforehand.
I incinerated everyone, everyone but Myths From Above, who successfully(presumably unlike his counterpart) committed suicide earlier.
when the Brainiac comes to, I stand before him, and point towards my work, A raging inferno that dwarfs hell itself( i had a little time left after dealing with my colleagues).
"you fucced up, buddy. I killed them all! I do not know if you had a plan for them, but too fucking bad i guess. 'Who?' you ask. Why of course all of the idiots that opposed you! You know... ALL THE MORONS YOU COULDN'T EVEN KILL. are you really not capable of that? " "anyways, i claimed their souls so i'm much more powerful now, good luck trying to fight me now, chump. Oh and yes, i do have a contingency plan for the off-chance the players respawn, besides i have their souls, they can't do anything to me." "now the choice is yours. want to fight me? Fine. good luck trying. Want to join me? even better, i could help you, you could help me, we have similar goals, you know." "However, if you do decide to take me on in battle again, know who you're fighting. I control temperature, heat. I control energy, i am an emissary of thermodynamics. I EXIST TO PERPETUATE THE EVERPRESENT TRANSITION OF EXISTENCE TOWARDS ENTROPY. I CAUSE CHAOS EVERYWHERE I GO. I AM THE APOCALYPSE. I SH Ould go easy on the edge, and the hubris too, jeez. but my point still stands. it might take a while, imight not even have the upperhand the entire time, but i will win."
edited 12th Jan '18 10:49:59 AM by alphaChi
*Vague plotting intensifies*
I murder the maniac.
It's that simple. The maniac dies, and cannot return. My murder of the maniac cannot be prevented by any means, and takes place without fail in all timelines and possible universes. The maniac is unable to be reanimated, cloned, or otherwise revived, and nothing can cheat the maniac's death. This can never be undone.
My new plan is so secret that even I cannot understand its full scope!
Hydraloonie
I try to do a Fusion Dance with someone
oops
edited 16th Jan '18 3:21:41 PM by Hydraloonie
Progress has it's stepping stones.
edited 1st Apr '18 9:04:57 AM by alphaChi
Merry Meritocrat
Update XII (12) - Fiery Abyss of Hell
Past Trickle might've thought 2am was late, but Future Trickle stays up until 4am. Please don't be like me.
I have returned from the fiery abyss of Hell! It's also 2am. I'm tired as shit. May <insert any deity here> have mercy on your souls, players, because knowing myself, I'm going to wake up tomorrow morning having consumed all of your souls.
YOU CAN'T SEE HIM!
Haha. G-get it. Because. That's his catchphrase. Cough. 4 damage to KJU. His BP is at -7.
I should probably also create a soul counter for you. Not that it matters, really. Let's say there were 10 players in that session. -2 subtracts from Myths From Above and omegaPsi. That makes 8 semi-existent souls. Key word: semi. Each of them counts as 1/2 of a soul, ergo, you are now at 1 + 4 souls. 5 souls are yours, including your original soul!
"So, now that we are cooperating, would you like me to warp us to the Maniac's dimension? I would have made some plan but frankly, I am putting all of my faith in the magical powers of improvisation."
But I digress, you go on fusiondance.com, which definitely looks different in-game than in real life (even though the game is life...? 🤔) and try to find someone you can fusion dance with!
ONE MATCH! Not The Maniac 666 - hey kid do you wanna fuse with me Not The Maniac 666 - i promise i'm not doing this for my own personal gain
With a name like that, you can't refuse, right?
The Elections are here! Bilstic Vengance is dead, so we need a new President of the US. Anyone can join if they want to! The winner gets... something, I'm sure. ALSO. The souls are finally being used!
In other news, the function of the BP of Kim Jong Un is finally revealed! ...Sorta. You still don't know what it stands for, and it seems you have brought it down to -7 and he's still alive. Hint - you might want to get it to 0. Somehow. Of course, the majority of players won't read this anyway. Eheheh.
Candidates
Kim Jong Un - 0 Votes - Promises to grant everyone who votes for him a soul. Probably isn't lying, considering he has a stash of them, but he's Kim Jong Un. Come on. You don't want him to be the leader of both the US and North Korea.
The Good-ish Guys (emphasis on "ish")
Sentient Foot: 37/57 HP. More menacing than the sentient hand, and also its nemesis or something.
Jake from Pizza Hutt: 12/20 HP. Probably not a secret spy for the CIA. What a shithead!
The Fucking, PHD (in kicking ass): ??? HP. Eldritch abomination.
The Maniac's Cast of Outcasts
Sentient Hand: 2/57 HP. PROTECTED BY KJU!
Kim Jong Un: -7/3 BP. True colors revealed! Haha. Get it? How do BP work? You can figure it out.
omegaPsi: 20/20 HP. Captured by KJU.
The Maniac: 144/150 HP. Knife-handed, no-handed, in a trance.
CROSS-DIMENSIONAL RIFT (don't mess with this part, please)
alphaChi: 9/20 HP. Totally bewildered. Empowered by the covenant! Maybe probably sorta has some other powers.
The Brainiac: 142/150 HP. Working together with alphaChi! Fear them. I guess.
edited 20th Jun '18 9:22:57 AM by TrickleJest
Murder the Maniac, or the Maniac murders you.
Meito Anizawa, Anime Tenchou
Cast a very precise and accurate healing spell to heal KJU exactly 7 BP
edited 22nd Jan '18 4:45:08 AM by Zanreo
"Leftover items still have value!"
I am going to use magic to transform myself into a kitten, then use my new charms to infiltrate Kim Jong Un's home and secretly steal the souls he's collected!
Cornelius, but do not waste in useless pity the few moments left in which to escape from the hands of the enemy.
Hydraloonie
I ask Not The Maniac 666 how BP works
Progress has it's stepping stones.
The Gay is easily disposed of as still in HARBINGER OF TRUTH Alex Jones' form the Reptilian speaks once more. Maniac! Why do you hold the rod of gayness? The Maniac looks down, finding instead of his knife, a rod of Gay. He looks back up to find the shapeshifted Reptilian holding the knife instead. ”The Elections, we must not allow the North Korean to succeed in its endeavors to win the White House, you must stop him with extreme prejudice.” “By your command.” The Reptilian speaks. "I shall also run for president, and mark my words. If I win, I will stab Kim Jung Un in the eyes. He holds up the Maniac's knife.WITH THIS KNIFE!
"What a charming guy." "He's like me, I wanna stab people in the eyes" "I think that he makes sense, he should be president." spoke the pre-recorded messages for an emergency presidential candidate's election prepped by the Reptile controlled World Government in such a situation as this.
edited 30th Jan '18 7:42:11 AM by SingularSpades
Kim jong un can't be the president, he isn't even american! i, on the other hand, am, so vote for me instead! i will also offer you souls, but instead of only one i will offer you the amount of souls KJU ha divided by the number of players, with the remainder going to my government to pay for all expenses. how am i going to accomplish that? by murdering the maniac (lowercase m) of course, i'll barbeque that korean! and that extra soul you could also use to sign the ETERNAL COVENANT without a soul debt.
Not Sherlock Holmes
I use my power of Forum Roleplay to shove my soul back into my body, then judo throw the maniac all the way to the Congo.
“Now! Let us engage in the art of deduction!”
Merry Meritocrat
Update XIII (13) - The Fall of Kimmy J
HOW FITTING. THE THIRTEENTH UPDATE, THE OMEN FORESHADOWING MY DEMISE. FAREWELL, M™.
Anyway! Kim Jong Un blows up. Nothin' much to say there. The Maniac takes two damage from the explosion, snapping him out of his trance! "Woah. I was totally dreaming about some really lewd shit. Like, really lewd. Like, darkest depths of 4chan type of lewd. I don't think it's even legal. Actually, no. It's so niche and obscure that it isn't even popular enough to be illegal. Because nobody ever thought a sane person would dream of something like that." he says in a strangely warped voice, twirling his knife- err... his knife-hand hybrid.
Kim Jong Un's ghost takes you to his ghost house and shows you all of his souls! Unfortunately for you, when he died, all of his possessions were burned by his elite Korean ninja squad (different from inferior Japanese ninjas) and became ghosts as well, so what you're actually getting is his stash of ghost souls! Since ghost soul is basically just a double negative, and the opposite of a soul is a body - you guessed it. It's his corpse stash. Lots of corpses. They stink, too! You can do whatever you want with them, because unlike souls, they probably aren't that useful. " YES, I DID TRY TO MAKE THEM INTO ZOMBIES, BUT SOMEHOW IT SEEMS YOU JUST CAN'T MAKE ZOMBIES OUT OF DEAD CORPSES. ISN'T THAT WEIRD? YOU HAVE MANIACS RUNNING AROUND WITHOUT ANY ARMS AND KOREAN DICTATORS RUNNING FOR THE POSITION U.S. PRESIDENT AND OF ALL THINGS ZOMBIES ARE TOO ABSURD TO EXIST? YEESH. 0/10. DROPPED AFTER THE FIRST EPISODE. "
WOAH WOAH WOAH HOLD IT THERE. We aren't entering that territory. No. Never. Please. Let's uh. Let's rewind that.
Not The Maniac 666 - bp? oh. it works like hp, but uh. it's more flexible. and goes into negatives. what does it stand for? i don't know. boss points? basic points? bungee points? i used the word "bungee" because bungee ropes are flexible. heheh. puns. why am i telling you this? because i'm a good person, obviously. a good and helpful guide. totally not the main antagonist of this game. who is in the title. and is named 'the maniac'.
Anyway, you fail to shove your soul back in your body, and also fail to judo throw the Maniac, because you don't have a soul. Hey, I said there were some limitations. You should probably try get your soul back, though, through uh... other methods. Like voting for someone. Pretty much everyone gives off souls here if you ask. Or not. I don't know.
Reminder that even those who are running for president can still vote. Wait, shit, it can't be a reminder if I never said it in the first place. Whoops.
In other news, it seems Kim Jong Un is dead and can't run anymore! It's probably for the best. Instead, the Maniac, now freshly out of his trance, swoops in.
Candidates
The Maniac - 0 Votes - Vote for him if you want to get a Stand! Yes, the one from Jojo's Bizarre Adventure. He's giving off free Stands. It's probably a scam. It's actually just a lemonade stand, most likely. Maybe you don't want him to become the president, because even if being a Stand user is cool and all, the game will probably be ten times harder. Then again, it's probably just rigged in his favor anyway.
Singular Spades - 0 Votes - Vote for him if you like Reptilians! Who doesn't? They control Earth anyway, not like it makes a huge difference, just sorta... makes it more official. But who doesn't like Reptilians, right?
alphaChi - 0 Votes - In his own words - "i will also offer you souls, but instead of only one i will offer you the amount of souls KJU ha divided by the number of players, with the remainder going to my government to pay for all expenses." Vote for him if you want. Uhm. Shit to go up to 11. I don't know in what department. Shenanigans, probably.
The Good-ish Guys (emphasis on "ish")
Sentient Foot: 37/57 HP. More menacing than the sentient hand, and also its nemesis or something.
Jake from Pizza Hutt: 12/20 HP. Probably not a secret spy for the CIA. What a shithead!
The Fucking, PHD (in kicking ass): ??? HP. Eldritch abomination.
The Maniac's Cast of Outcasts
Sentient Hand: 2/57 HP. PROTECTED BY THE MANIAC!
Kim Jong Un: DEAD!
omegaPsi: 20/20 HP. Captured by the Maniac.
The Maniac: 142/150 HP. Knife-handed, no-handed.
Pseudo-Battlefield Realm
alphaChi: 9/20 HP. Totally bewildered. Empowered by the covenant! Maybe probably sorta has some other powers.
The Brainiac: 142/150 HP. Working together with alphaChi! Fear them. I guess.
edited 20th Jun '18 9:24:06 AM by TrickleJest
Murder the Maniac, or the Maniac murders you.
I bring down The Hat of Discipline
◊ upon the Maniac.
Hydraloonie
I tell Not The Maniac 666 that we should vote for Alpha Chi
Progress has it's stepping stones.
I walk over to the poll booth and overturn the entire system into the much more reasonable Single Transferable Vote system. Everyone who votes can vote for someone as their main vote. if nobody gets enough votes to be the definite winner, the second votes come in. the second votes of whoever had the least people become treated as main votes (with littlest guy being kicked out), and if this is enough for winning, the person they transfered to wins. if not, the new smallest guy's supporters have their second votes kick in and the new smallest guy gets kicked out. if a persons second vote goes to someone who's already been kicked out, use their third vote, etcetra. I then vote Alphachi, Singular Spade, and do not give any votes to maniac under any circumstances.
first of all go back to the real world, but keep a portal, a nuke and an orb with my essence in it, a sort of magical security camera, across the rift in case i need those. i'll basically use it as my storage space from now on.
i don't know how my powers work exactly, maybe they work by concentrating on the main maniac dimension, in which case i'll be powerful as all fuck when i return, because charging up'll happen automatically. i imagine i could save up power to create massive attacks, constructs and even living beings.
if i need to concentrate cross rift, i just made that a whole lot easier too with my orb. so that's great.
i think the maniac still thinks i'm in his service so i'm going to use that to get close to my other half. once i'm there i yet again don't know what'll happen exactly, but i imagine it'll be one of three options:
1. omegaPsi will join me alongside with the brainiac and we'll become some kickass crime(fighting?) squad!
2. once me and my other half touch we will fuse and become much more powerful. a variation on this idea is that we'll annihilate eachother when we touch because anti-matter rules, but then we'll just be transformed into pure energy and i'll reform into a better fused version.
3. the last possibility is that the bastard won't join me, if that's the case i murder him and craft myself a doublesoul with his and my soul.
when all that is done, i thank hydroloonie for his vote, and offer him a chance to sign the ETERNAL COVENANT . My name is AC and i endorse this message.
Hydraloonie
I sign the ETERNAL COVENANT
Progress has it's stepping stones.
I an going to play with a ball of yarn and after that i shall convince kim jong un that murdering the mainaic will cause these "tropers" to be a bit more likely to vote for him.
Cornelius, but do not waste in useless pity the few moments left in which to escape from the hands of the enemy.
"The voice of Sneople is most definitely real, you're not insane in that regard, Mr. Maniac. You probably picked it up like an radio signal on a passing receiver. As for any such madness that you experience human perception is terrible. You are merely a victim of only perceiving life in a three dimensional plane."
America is not a democracy unfortunately, Reptilian Sleeper Agents in Congress have used the power of gerrymandering, that all votes for a non-Reptilian candidates only worth half the vote for a Reptilian candidate.
"If I am elected I shall have immigration policies that shall solve the Donald's propositions and everyone shall receive a free slav- "Comrade.""Comrade collar. I believe such neckwear is popular among humans." He then promptly votes for himself.
edited 7th Feb '18 7:01:14 AM by SingularSpades
I unvote the reptillians vote for itself, murder it's sleeper agent brethren, and install a normal voting policy of whoever gets the most votes wins the election. no funny business.
Merry Meritocrat
Update XIV (14) - omegaPsi: Overpowered Overlord!
Wh-what? Overpowered overlord? Me? You must have me c-confused with... someone else!!
Not The Maniac 666 reluctantly agrees, so you register both votes. Two votes for alphaChi registered!
As reasonable as this system is, the elections are run by the Maniac, who does shit unreasonably as you can probably already tell. "You heard him! If I really was the kind of guy to go for the most reasonable approach, all of you would probably be dead right now. Isn't that nice, huh? Imagine if there was a version of me like that. Haha. He'd be unstoppable! Fortunately, he doesn't exist, and if he did, he probably has weaknesses of his own, because that'd just be TOO overpowered!." You register a vote for alphaChi, since you seemed to put him first, and now he owes you some amount of souls or whatever.
if i need to concentrate cross rift, i just made that a whole lot easier too with my orb. so that's great. i think the maniac still thinks i'm in his service so i'm going to use that to get close to my other half. once i'm there i yet again don't know what'll happen exactly, but i imagine it'll be one of three options:
1. omegaPsi will join me alongside with the brainiac and we'll become some kickass crime(fighting?) squad!
2. once me and my other half touch we will fuse and become much more powerful. a variation on this idea is that we'll annihilate eachother when we touch because anti-matter rules, but then we'll just be transformed into pure energy and i'll reform into a better fused version.
3. the last possibility is that the bastard won't join me, if that's the case i murder him and craft myself a doublesoul with his and my soul. when all that is done, i thank hydroloonie for his vote, and offer him a chance to sign the ETERNAL COVENANT . My name is AC and i endorse this message.
And then, you hear a squishing sound, a gasp, and a horrible, terrible scream. It's loud, but not that loud. It's pitch is high, but not that high. Yet there's still something special about it, something incredible uncomfortable, as if the scream itself reflects everything that has just occurred, as if it's a scream that speaks volumes on its own. It seems as if you do not need context for this scream, as if it already spells out everything about the situation in crystal clear letters. It's a scream that you'll never forget, a scream that embeds itself in your mind the moment it is let out. You don't just hear it, you sense it, you can feel it, the vibrations, the agony, worse than any torture, any pain, worse than anything you can imagine.
The Brainiac stops screaming, finally falling onto the ground, utterly defeated.
"I... I didn't even... See him do anything!" the Brainiac says in a weak voice, struggling to get up. In the result of the split-second-long duel, the Maniac seemed to have lost his eye, but he didn't really mind. "Yeesh, what a baby. Only babies cry like that, ya know? You're not a baby, are you?" the Maniac asks his counterpart, who was lying on the ground, not paying attention. In the blink of an eye, the Maniac raises his leg and shames his foot on the Brainiac's face. "ANSWER ME!! ARE YOU!?" the Maniac shouts, laughing uncontrollably, digging the heel of his shoe deeper as the Brainiac struggled not to yell. Trying to answer the question, the Brainiac found that all of his attempts to answer were muffled by the shoe, and as he struggled more and more the pain grew worse and worse. "WHY ARE YOU NOT ANSWERING ME?!?" he laughed and laughed as every player looked at him in disbelief. Suddenly, the Brainiac raised the foot from his face, revealed a shattered nose, and proclaimed that he is not, in fact, a baby. Giggling, the Maniac brought his knife-hand to the Brainiac's throat. "Then why are you screaming like one?" he whispered, bringing the knife closer.
"HEY, YOU!" omegaPsi yells out, and you suddenly find yourself snapping out of your trance. "Why are you just standing there?! Do something!!" he screams at you, shaking the bars of his cage.
Nothing happens? ...Huh. This is pretty different from AC's result - it worked instantly for him. You don't even feel like anything's different! Maybe you should try your powers out randomly, just to see if something's different. It has to be, right?
For some reason, KJU agrees despite the fact that he isn't even running anymore! Maybe he just really hates the Maniac. So, do you set off back to the Battlefield, or do you have something else to do?
ООК: Хеы, аре ыоу алригхт? Хопе еверытхинг ис фине. Глад ыоу хаве нот дисаппеаред цомплетелы, кек.
The souls fly out of the machine, consuming the Sentient Foot! That's right, if your shit is inactive, it's probably going to die. Unless I don't make it die. Then it's safe.
"Fuck this. I'm not getting eaten by some god damn souls. What a load of bullshit. What a truck load of bullshit. Fuck it. Fuck you. It's bad enough that I earn minimal wage (different from minimum wage, it's slightly less minimal than minimum, which is to say, slightly more in value), and now I'm about to die. Fuck that." Jake says in his usual monotone voice, fucking himself out of the Battlefield and into Pizza Hutt, something he hates only marginally less than being in this god forsaken game.
The weirdest part is, the Maniac only took one damage in his "duel" with the Brainiac. Which makes sense until you realize he lost an entire eye. Hm.
Candidates
The Maniac - 0 Votes - Vote for him if you want to get a Stand! Yes, the one from Jojo's Bizarre Adventure. He's giving off free Stands. It's probably a scam. It's actually just a lemonade stand, most likely. Maybe you don't want him to become the president, because even if being a Stand user is cool and all, the game will probably be ten times harder. Then again, it's probably just rigged in his favor anyway.
Singular Spades - 0 Votes - Vote for him if you like Reptilians! Who doesn't? They control Earth anyway, not like it makes a huge difference, just sorta... makes it more official. But who doesn't like Reptilians, right?
alphaChi - 3 Votes - In his own words - "i will also offer you souls, but instead of only one i will offer you the amount of souls KJU ha divided by the number of players, with the remainder going to my government to pay for all expenses." Vote for him if you want. Uhm. Shit to go up to 11. I don't know in what department. Shenanigans, probably.
The Good-ish Guys (emphasis on "ish")
Sentient Foot: DEAD!
Jake from Pizza Hutt: FU/CK HP. Probably not Harry Potter. Pseudo-fucked off from the Battlefield!
The Fucking, PHD (in kicking ass): ??? HP. Eldritch abomination. @n3rd_d4sh , are you alive?
alphaChi: 9/20 HP. Totally bewildered. Empowered by the covenant! Maybe probably sorta has some other powers.
The Brainiac: 130/150 HP. Humiliated by the Maniac! Somebody help him, maybe?
The Maniac's Cast of Outcasts
Sentient Hand: 2/57 HP. PROTECTED BY THE MANIAC!
omegaPsi: 20/20 HP. Captured by the Maniac.
The Maniac: 141/150 HP. Missing both hands and an eye!
edited 20th Jun '18 9:26:17 AM by TrickleJest
Murder the Maniac, or the Maniac murders you.
Not Sherlock Holmes
I ask if we get last resort points like in DLE.
“Now! Let us engage in the art of deduction!”
I tell the brainiac that - my autocorrect says I'm spelling his name wrong and I'm to lazy to check how to spell it so scratch that instead of talking to the brainiac I use my last resort point that probably doesn't exist to create a blobfish. a blobfish with a dojo. and a shield. and the ability to breath air. and I name him spalthos. and we will be friends forever. note that I don't actually use a lasRsrtPnt on it. because those probably don't exist.
Hydraloonie
I steal Not The Maniac 666's soul and use it to heal the brainiac
Progress has it's stepping stones.
Self-bump. I know people don't like these, but I can't really update with two posts.
Murder the Maniac, or the Maniac murders you.