Signs contract.

"Now what?"

"I'll present it to our unseen overlord, Meddling II. He stays off the set after what happened to his father."

Runs off

"Oh yeah, I should mention I got a got a job as a gofer for TVTBC."

Stands and thinks to self.

"What should I do?... I guess introductions are in order."

Turns to nearest troper.

"Hello! I'm Totally Not An Alien. Who are you?"

"I'm Zackontheattack. I I have the power of hammerspace"

"Hello, Zackontheattack! I mentioned earlier that I have the power to summon bird-men. This is a reference to my home... I MEAN THE DWARF PLANET Makemake, named after the chief deity of the Rapa Nui bird man cult."

Turns to another troper.

"Hello!"

edited 21st Jul '17 2:18:29 PM by TotallyNotAnAlien

"What do you mean you're me? Only I'm me."

"I'm you from another universe. Another multiverse, even. In fact, I'm you from another realm entirely."

"Woah...that's deep..."

"It's not."

"Oh..."

"Hey. I'm Beverly. My ability is to... I dunno if it's canon here, but I can punch things very very hard."

"Hm... that seems to be a pretty standard power, but it's to have."

"I mean like, causing eldritch abominations to explode type..."

"Oh! THAT KIND! That's a very good power to have."

edited 21st Jul '17 8:15:17 PM by TotallyNotAnAlien

TotallyNotAnAlien gets a voicemail on their phone.

"Hey! I'm ZeroL, or Zero for short. Rol never took off. Anyway, I'm busy fighting my own robotic creations turned evil by a metafictional virus or something. See you later! You cannot change what will always restore itself; you can only learn to love the routine. Yeah, ignore him. He'll be a good guy next time you see him. Gotta go! Epic sword fight beckons!"

TropesForever returns with a plate of Troperlicious™ brand crumpets

"Oh, you can probably ignore that. I think it has something to do with Lovestruck. No, Minecraft. Well, you know what I'm talking about. Anyway, who wants a Troperlicious™ brand crumpet?"

"I'll take one... it's like a muffin, right?"

"Okay, listen. I don't have much time, people are looking for me. I'm going to have to get you a vessel."

"A vessel?"

"It's basically a body for you to live in. Right now you're just a pile of ashes, so you're gonna need a real body. Unfortunately, all I have is some merchandise. Mostly Five Nights At Freddys merch."

"Hm."

"Uh, are you a male or a female?"

"I'm a pile of ashes, but I was male when I was an actual human."

"Alright, that eliminates Eleven, and...maybe Shadow Bonnie, I'm not sure...Baby's definitely gone...Uh, would you rather be hairy or...plastic?"

"Plastic. Hairy is gross."

"Alright, no plushes then...oh, and that eliminates the flocked POP! figure..."

"Can you please just choose something? I really don't care what you choose."

"Uh...yeah, okay. How about...ah, this one looks good."

"Sweet. Now, how are you gonna get me into that vessel?"

"That's the dangerous part."

Battle music

DirkLBot flashsteps towards me, swinging his sword hard enough that I'm knocked off my feet, even though my shield protects me from the cutting edge.

I activate my boots to take me into the air with that momentum, rather than allow him to keep up a combo. Rising above his reach, I record the message for TNAA. Then, he shoots at me at lightning speed, just as I swing my laser sword. The blades lock, and then I switch it from Lightsaber mode to Halo Sword Mode, splitting the blade in two, to go around his sword and burn a gash in his shoulder.

Heh. You know, you pay way too much attention to canon for your own good. Dirk's God Tier power is simulated by a hover module and healing capability.

The metal around the gash starts to ripple, and then a buzzer sounds, accompanied by a holographic projection of the word "Just."

"What's that you say about too much attention?"

He balls his hand, and I swoop out of the way just as he fires lightning at me.

My point stands.

"But you can't flashstep while hovering."

He flies at me again, this time slower due to not coming from the ground, and I parry his strike easily.

Then, Buddy crashes into me from behind.

Seconds in the future, but not many...

AP shoots a beam of light straight into the dark monstrosity. A tiny amount of gloom scatters, but the main... thing is unfazed. A sinister chuckle comes out of the dark.

I am far stronger than you, "paladin." You are an arbitrary, unnecessary symbolic construct, and the weakness that can be exploited to ensure that I will never be driven away. This "arc" will be pointless, and these digressions will defeat the very purpose they stand for.

AP clutches his sword, and concentrates. He's been able to use the generic properties of the world around him before, but to get out of this requires a near Deus ex Machina.

Fortunately, he's a Paladin. He doesn't need the Deus ex Machina, he is the Deus Ex Machina. He focuses on the blurry parts of the generic city, the generic caves, and the whole generic world, and calls them into shape. The ground underneath him rises, and becomes distinct. It glistens, and breathes.

He rides the Platinum Dragon into battle.

(slap)

"This is Tropers: The Series, not Homestuck: The Series or Doctor Who! Quit with the melodramatic crud!"

Taco grabs his head and starts yelling. "NOISE! IT'S ALL NOISE! AAAAAAAAAGH!"

"That was a really hard slap from Tales on his part. Wait, how do I know that happened?"

"Well, since you're in the 7th dimension, you can see every possibility at the same time. If you look over there, you can faintly make out a possibility where everyone is a school bus."

"Wow, that's cool. Random, but cool. So, uh, you got this vessel prepared yet?"

"Yep. I'm charging the machine up now."

"Sweet." A large silent pause follows.

"Hey, did you know that hippos have pink milk?"

"Huh. That's cool."

Seven-Dimensional me pops in quickly. "Hey, since that Penroses is an alternate you, how didn't you know he was male? I mean, you're the same person. But nice pick with using a FNAF animatronic. Nothing's cooler than robots."

"Oh hello, Zero L possibility. To answer your question, there was a chance that this Penrose was a female. Infinite possibilities mean infinite female possibilities. Also, I didn't go with a FNaF bot."

"Aw man, now the surprise is ruined."

"Sorry."

edited 22nd Jul '17 5:43:16 PM by Penroses

"Bird people? Like Bird Person from Rick and Morty"

"Alright, the machine is fully charged."

"Sweet!"

"But we gotta do this fast. I've got some people on my back, they're out to get me."

"Well, what are you waiting for?"

"Oh, right. Sorry."

Suddenly, there is a blinding white light in the 7th dimension as Ashrose is transported into his new vessel.

Turns back to Zackontheattack

"That is what I had in mind, yes."

8th Dimensional Taco sighs. "You Seven-Ds are a bunch of FNAF lovin' dorks."

Meanwhile, in the ordinary Third Dimension:

Taco noticed the light and clung harder to his urn.

"I agree. Let's escape, Taco, before these edgy dorkbags force us to play FNAF."

edited 23rd Jul '17 12:08:30 PM by TalesofUnder