#2: Jan 6th 2017 at 2:27:51 AM
~Drake Clawfang: This seems to be more suited for the Trope Description Improvement Drive in the Long Term Projects forum.
"For a successful technology, reality must take precedence over public relations, for Nature cannot be fooled." - Richard Feynman
Total posts: 2
I find the opening for this page rather confusing and badly written. Descriptions for the different faction types change because of the number of participants but usually just to describe how the new faction is different, which when you grow it from two to five quickly gets hard to keep track of. The page also makes constant comparisons to real life governments and organizations, which mean nothing — presuming the comparisons are being made because of how many games organize the faction types according to that convention, the examples list will cover the same information and ideas fine. Stating these comparisons in the intro without context is just going to make a reader wonder what all these governments and races mean to defining the trope and factions. The various faction types can be described without having to draw these comparisons, and a reader can read the descriptions and draw their own parallels to games they've played to understand what is being said.
I made a sandbox showing a much simplified version of this layout, giving the faction profiles directly with much less reading and unnecessary comparisons to governments or fantasy factions.