The Meta-Mausoleum: 0/10s of a Discussion Thread

1. Just Do It.

I, your great and terrible GM, am like a trampoline. I can take whatever you throw at me and send it splaying to the sky in an awkward spiral. Don't ask me if a plan or an attack or a deliberate seduction could work beforehand. Just do it. Don't tell me. I think we'll both be surprised.

2. Adventurers, Excite Thyselves

If I mention anything at all, even in passing, it is fair game. Go up to it. Prod it. Talk to it. Eat it. Play it a jaunty tune. If something that seems to fit the theme of the place in question isn't there, assume that it is and go crazy. Think of this as a collaborative story, only I have omniscient POV and the rest of you are all third-person limited, stuck in your own characters' heads. Fortunately, you have more heads than I do, although I wager that your combined foreheads cannot match the awe-inspiring area of mine.

3. Party Time Is Fun Time

The party that sticks together… inevitably ends up clubbing itself in the metaphorical testicles, but hey. Entry into this RP was contingent on either my knowing you beforehand or the fact that your signup impressed me. With that in mind, I trust you to work together and build a whole bevy of character dynamics. Teamwork will, when splashed liberally with Rules 1 and 2, usually yield much more interesting results than a solo effort. Talk to each other. Argue with each other. Commit cathartic acts of homicide with each other. It sure beats interacting with me all the time.

4. I Am (Not) Your Friend

What you must understand is that I am not your friend. I am the Burnt Milquetoast, the Man of Words, the Bespectacled Nerd In The Sky. It is my job to make your dungeon sojourn as hilariously miserable as possible. Think of this as a game of chess. Black to move, win in ten moves or less. You're all Black. And then you see me at the other side of the table. Not only am I in a winning position, I also have a big red button on my chair. The big red button will send your most treasured household pet into orbit. If you do not have a pet, it shall send your household into orbit. If you have no family, no friends, no pets and are currently reading this at the library on your way back to the bridge (or if sending your household into orbit would actually be an improvement), then it shall give you a sympathetic pat on the back. And I'm not sure anyone could handle that.

What I'm saying is, think of this as a game against me, especially in the fights. Outplay me. Outsmart me. Make me want to kick your asses. You won't regret it. I might. But then again, that's what I signed up for.

5. Private Consultation Offered, But Not Ordered

If you really really want to implement some tasty backstory or a sprinkle of personal subplot into the big picture, feel free to chat me up. I can help you work it into the game. Otherwise, it should be confined to the usual campfire talks and dramatic meandering flashbacks. And, y'know, interaction.

6. Keep Things Short And Sharp

For those of you who know me, you might have noted my pronounced tendency to promise a post, not post and then let loose in a disastrous deluge of overwrought prose. Not so here. I promise I won't swamp you with words, but more importantly I promise to keep the posts fun, regular and relatively short, around 750 words or so at most. You should do the same. Brevity is the soul of wit, and it sure helps keep an RP healthy, too.

With that out of the way, I'd like to reiterate that this is not, in fact, a discussion thread. Due to the existence of glorious Skype, discussion threads are in fact rather obsolete - therefore, this thread will serve the purpose of an inventory and in-game information thread. I would like all players to fill out the following sheet:

• Name: Uh, name.
• Inventory: Here I need literally everything that your character is carrying, denoted together with numerical quantity. Please be as exhaustive as possible.
• Current Condition: Assume healthy unless otherwise.
• Money: Any currency that your character currently has.
• Notes: Anything else you think I should know.

edited 25th May '16 7:21:28 PM by troydenite

• Name: Shiroe
• Inventory:
  • White staff of the wings of ruin
  • Sage's coat
  • Flower Talisman
  • ''Normal clothes (I actually don't know the names for the normal clothes he wears. He's got jeans and socks and boots and glasses, don't forget the glasses.)
  • Dazaneg's magic bag
  • extra pair of glasses in his bag, because he definitely needs them
  • Four sandwiches
  • Two Mana potions
  • Two health potions
  • One quill pen and ink
  • Two scrolls of parchment
• Current health: A little tired but in pretty good shape.
• Money: 500 gold pieces.
• Notes:That's about it really.

• Name: Miyoshi Karin
• Inventory: Health Tonic x 10, Caffeine Shots x 5, Bottled Water x 5, Canteen x 1 (Full), Dried Crispy Anchovies Snack Bag x 3, Instant Udon Packs x 5, Cell Phone With Hero App Installed x1, Wooden Shinais x 2, Gym Uniform Set x 1, School uniform Set x 1.
• Current Condition: Healthy
• Money: 50,000 yen

edited 26th May '16 8:32:34 PM by Makaioh

• Name: Girimehkala.

• Inventory:
  • Four (4) revolvers of various make, one of them a Colt Single Action Army for no reason other than channelling the delicious western vibes. That said, they're most likely all chambered in .44 magnum for no reason other than making his life easier when it comes to reloading and buying ammunition.

  • One (1) Thompson Contender, for precision shooting. Also because those things look sick and wouldn't break his aesthetic. Let's channel those colonial vibes and say .30-06.

  • One (1) Howda Pistol chambered in something ridiculously impractical, for dangerous game. Or dangerous vehicles. Also because I couldn't resist the allure of an elephant carrying an elephant gun.

  • Six (6) leather gauntlets, padded, studded. Think six caestuses, basically, worn more or less permanently.

  • One (1) kukri, utterly mundane.

  • One (1) molotov cocktail.

  • A metric fucktonne (lots) of ammunition kept in various hip-bags and pouches, alongside one for any surviving spent brass.

  • Dinky little maintennance kit for all those shootbangs. Brushes, oil, etc.

  • Rations, water, rope. The standard utilities. Probably some fire-lighters in there somewhere.

  • Cigarillos and a lighter.

• Current Condition: Obscenely Healthsome.

• Wealth: Three gold pieces.

• Notes: Can and will reincarnate. Also an elephant.

edited 26th May '16 8:37:16 PM by OG-Sama

Name: Mitsurou Kumoi
Inventory: WIP
Current Condition: Perfect health.
Money: Ten thousand yen and six hundred dollars in notes, and three credit cards.
Notes: He can crack crab shells with his teeth.

edited 27th May '16 3:30:49 AM by Lemurian

• Name: Siegward of Catarina
• Inventory: 1x Storm Ruler, 1x Estus Flask (full, 5 uses), 4x casks of Siegbrau-brand Stout, 3 full heads of Green Blossom, 3 full heads of Blooming Purple Moss, 2x tins of red bug pellets, 1x tin of yellow bug pellets, 1x tin of purple bug pellets, 10x firebombs, 13x throwing knives, 2x dung pies, 5x Lloyd's Talismans, 1x Divine Blessing, 1x length of rope (20m), 1x ladle, 1x spoon, 1x fork, 1x flint and steel, 1x torch
• Current Condition: Healthy
• Currency: 10,168 Souls, 7 rusted coins, 1 rusted gold coin, 1 pale tongue, 1 sunlight medal

Name: Adlet Meyer

Inventory, WIP: 1x Short Sword, 500x Needles, 24x Smoke Bombs, 3x Chemical Bombs, 1x Caltrop Bat, 10x Fire Breathers, 10x Breakable Pots, 1x Fiend Flute, 1x Eyeglass, 1x Small Mirror, Poisons, Writing Materials, and a bunch of string. All of this comes with a big case that contains materials to make more of the expendables.

Current Condition: The strongest in the world! But, a little flustered.

Wealth: 1,000 blue stone thingies.

Notes: For comprehension's sake, here is a legend, and some justification for the amounts.

Legend:

• Sword: Adlet has a short sword that he can use for parrying and can throw quite effectively. Its most interesting feature is the ability to launch the blade at high speeds with a twist of the handle, giving him a surprise projectile at the expense of sacrificing his main weapon until he can re-slot it.

• Needles: Each one is small, about six inches long with a tuft of green hanging off of the end. Pretty much the very first thing Adlet does is use them to take down no less than 80 encroaching soldiers over the span of about ten seconds, at a rate of ~5 needles per soldier. That equals out to about 400 needles. Assuming this is a fairly extreme expenditure that he accounted for ahead of time, having had plenty of time to prepare for the battle, and that he had some left over that he didn’t use, this gives an idea of how much he can carry on his person at any given point of time.

• Flute: Adlet has a small, Ocarina-like flute of some special design. When he blows it, it “echoes in the ears of fiends”, getting their attention and drawing them in. Now, since Fiends are established as having some level of human intelligence, it isn’t clear whether this is a coercive effect or merely something that organically makes them pay more attention to him. Nevertheless, I’ll leave it up to you how much effect it has on the various non-Fiend enemies the group encounters.

• Smoke Bombs: Can either be attached to a large mat for mass dispersal, or thrown one at a time.

• Chemical Bomb: Adlet has a chemical bomb that emits a green cloud that causes temporary blindness. Based on context clues and its location on his person (he can access it while his arms are restricted) it comes off as a last resort.

• Poisons: Adlet’s poisons range from incapacitating to lethal, and can be coated on several of his weapons.

• Caltrop Bat: Adlet has a long, hollow, bat-like structure that he can use to deposit caltrops around the battlefield.

• Fire Breathers: Adlet has a collection of single-use fire breathers that attach to his upper and lower teeth, and produce flame when clacked together.

• Breakable Pots: Adlet has a small collection of breakable vessels that can be tossed at foes. They can also be used for other things.

Name: Dvora Lishney

Inventory:

• A pick-hammer named Sweetheart. Mundane, but of masterwork quality.

• A mundane dagger, usually worn in a belt sheath.

• A thick leather soldier's jacket. High-collared, long-sleeved, goes down to mid-calf.

• A red scarf. Flutters nicely in the winds of revolution.

• Water and rations for a few days.

• A bedroll and blanket.

• A 50-meter length of good-quality rope.

Current Condition: Healthy

Money: About 30 gold pieces in mixed denominations (1 GP = 10 silver pieces. 1 SP= 10 copper pieces).

Notes: Nope.

edited 8th Jun '16 5:35:26 AM by Gaunt88

• Name: Reisen Udongein Inaba

• Inventory: Clothes
  • Merchant disguise and hat x 1

  • Assorted medicines and drugs, plus bandages and disinfectants. (Nothing major, I imagine she has stuff to treat fevers and colds and influenzas, plus infections and common ailments.

  • Strength serum x 4

• Current Condition: Healthy

Money: Zilch