M.A.G.I.: Urban Fantasy - Office Adventures RP

3/28/2016 L.A. 9 AM Morning

The streets of a modern L.A. the streets once known for the rotted nests of racism and poverty, among the shallow boils of narcissism and fame, were now known for those things and so much more. A hive of monsters and magical creatures of all shapes and sizes. From the largest orc police officer, chasing after goblin gangbangers. To the smallest gnome prostitute, serving perverted Elf johns cheating on their wives. These were the famous streets of the Greater Los Angeles area, and they were home to all magical creatures, usually more often than not, not living in Harmony. That was both of a problem and a boom for the semi-illustrious office halls of the Magical Association of Guidance of Invention, the premiere company leading towards the benefit of all magical creatures everywhere. That was the plan anyway, and usually Azeria Wysp did her best to honor that plan. She really did believe in that plan. But between the idiots she had on her staff, and ever-shrinking budget from the government, rival corporations and companies, and her own burgeoned neuroses, it was becoming harder and harder to uphold her noble pledge. But that wasn't going to stop her anytime soon.

The building had quite a few floors, able to shift and warp through doors on any floor magically to allow people to get around very easily. They were broken up in ways that made them appear as if they were together and allowing the members of different departments to still easily interact, as if their offices and labs were closer than they really worse. The decor was a stylish deco-70s class and prep. (Imagine the Archer ISIS offices, the old ones AND the new ones.)

She sat out on the penthouse deck outside the glass ceiling windows of her nice highrise office, sunbathing out by her pool in her small swimsuit. She was half-demon, half-elf, with brown skin, tanning quite nicely.◊ She pressed her bluetooth call button, signalling for her assistant to come to her ASAP. Meanwhile, she sipped her 3rd Mimosa.

As for her employers, they would hopefully shuffle in around the hour, no more late than they usually were, ready to clock in and begin the day after their short morning time of conversation and grabbing donuts and coffee.

Walking to work was the worst. Since Johnny looked 9, he couldn't drive jack-diddly-squat. This always led to being late, being late, and being late again. But not this time! This time, Johnny set an alarm 30 minutes earlier than usual! "Alright, building is just around the corner. I just gotta cross the street and make a right. That's it." Johnny put on his sunglasses to hide his eyes, even if he didn't need to do that since the late eighties, then he prepared to use the crossroad.

Hm. Stop light sure is taking its time. Johnny looks at his watch. "Oh jeez, I only got three minutes left... Well, when push comes to shove." Johnny walks across the busy street without a care in the world. Miraculously, not a single car hits him. As soon as he gets across, his watch beeps. 2 minutes left. Johnny runs around the corner. 1 minute left! But there it is! He's going to be on time! He's going to be on-

His watch beeps again. Time's up. Defeated, Johnny walks into the building and punches his punch card. A minute late. It's better than 30 minutes late, though.

An individual enters rather loudly. It is a skeleton, wearing nothing else but a stupid power suit as seen in Wolfenstein 3D or Doom, which barely covers his pelvis. He is carrying a minigun.

"Hey, boss! Hey, Johnny!" Josef greets them, also rather loudly, "Anybody up for an EPIC MISSION?"

Erin "EK" Krrgchrargh's car was a Ford Pegasus. It was boxy and flat, low to the ground, no nice slants or anything to make it appear to be more than a jank-ass working woman's car. Which it was. If you're confused about whether "jank-ass" applied to the car or the woman, the answer is "yes." She was a light gray Gnoll with a full head of cotton candy blue hair, which she tied back into a rough bun. She would hopefully never be interacting with the company's clients, so she was allowed to show up to work in a plain white tee, jeans, and high-tops. And blue hair. M.A.G.I. was also one of the few companies that didn't think being covered in fur was a permanent state of informal dress. So that was nice.

She powered through the breakroom, grabbed a cup of awful coffee, and then immediately made a beeline for maintenance access. In the weird liminal spaces between the walls, quite possibly a pocket dimension of its own, EK could hang out on the PC back there and write for her blog while she waited for something to inevitably break again. With so much goddamn magic flying all over, you had to have an on-site electrician nowadays, paid just like any other member of Utility.

So close to freedom, though, and EK was struggling. Her keys weren't going into the door with the big bold MAINTENANCE ACCESS sign on it. She was glad she couldn't blush, but the anxiety of struggling with a door was real. She just let out the quiet, repetitive chuckle of a hyena, begging her keys with increasing urgency to please open the fucking door.

edited 17th Apr '16 8:43:19 AM by Taco

"Shit." Josef muttered, aiming his minigun somewhere, "I think I heard something spooky, guys"

edited 16th Apr '16 11:56:25 PM by arcada188

Drifting lazily like a sleepwalker in the night, Emilia phased her way on through the office building, yawning and punching her work card after Johnny, phasing her arm through the black eyed boy's without really paying him any mind. How a ghost could feel sleepy was a question for the ages considering a lack of bodily functions otherwise, but Emilia managed to, and she floated right on through to the nearest door; break room meals called to her. Again, despite a lack of digestive system.

She promptly laid herself over the table, dipping an insubstantial toe into the coffee and phasing the freshly baked donuts directly over her stomach. "Ahhh, that's better..."

A Mind Flayer slips into the room.

"Sorry that I am late... oh, hey, 'Papyrus'!

... sorry, I had too."

edited 16th Apr '16 11:57:57 PM by ThisGuy481

"Why the fuck do you keep calling me after a plant?" Josef asks, reasonably not knowing anything about the game.

edited 16th Apr '16 11:59:04 PM by arcada188

"Hi guys. So, Josef. What 'epic mission' did you have in mind?" Anyone listening can practically hear the air quotes.

"...Actually, I dunno." Josef said, "But of course, there's some inevitable magical crime from which we need to save humans and magical beings alike!"

"I doubt something that massive is happening. It's more likely some racist tool is feeling the urge to sue."

edited 17th Apr '16 12:08:23 AM by gregnes2000

Lobby: Azeria, Josef, Johnny

Break Room: Emilia

"...What does that mean?" Josef asks.

edited 17th Apr '16 12:13:39 AM by arcada188

"Hm. I honestly hope murder is involved so that I can help with the identification. It's always gathering DNA samples"

"And then, after we find the killer, I can use my beloved minigun!" Josef shouts, waving his minigun everywhere.

Outside The Office

Playing against the image of college students and post-grads being night owls and feeling total utter shit in the morning, Aaminah loves the feeling of fresh morning air breezing through her skin as rode her white road bicycles alongside the slightly less congested post-morning rush hour traffic while listening to some hot tracks on shuffle on her phone.

Her morning was slightly ruined when she was forced to stop along with the traffic because, weirdly enough, a child ran across the road. She started to wonder where the kid's parents at but after the kid entered the building, she realized that it was Johnny. She giggled into her handle at her own misjudgement. Dear lord, she thought to herself, one of these days, she'll find enough reasons to buy a car and join the dreaded LA congestions just to give Johnny a ride, if only for a fact that she does not want to buy a kiddie seat just to car...err... bicycle pool with him.

Well, she stopped near her workplace anyway, so might as well walk the distance. Just as she was picking up the bicycle on her shoulder, Father Stretch My Hands pt1 just came up and helped rebuild her mood.

"If young metro don't trust you, I might shoot you~" She sang along to the song as she approached the door, then, like a flow of hype breaking the control dam all in one go, she kick the door open, albeit a bit gentle so that she won't break the glass on it, and shouted "Beautiful morning!" with an outstretched hands. She then goes on to mumble the rest of Future's verse because, like any other plebeians, she can't understand what the dude is saying other than that bomb lines, while she punched in her card and remove her Razer earplugs.

"Heey~, guys!" she said while tipping her white Panama hat, as well as extending her leg to show off her white T-shirt which was big enough to slightly tip off at one end to show her black bra strap and show off her torn jeans. "I've just got this Future's hat last night and I am so hyped with making this work. So how do I look?"

"Like a human." Josef said.

M.A.G.I. Offices

Miranda's eyes slowly fluttered open as she gazed up at the ceiling of the office, being greeted by a fair amount of confusion. It would seem that she had actually ended up sleeping in the break room after a long night of work. She also felt a slight headache and reached her hand up to press against the ache, only to realize: her hand wasn't there. Hell neither was her body. It appears that her body had gone through a bout of sleepwalking. At the worst possible time.

"Ah shite." She exclaimed with no small amount of exasperation as she noticed Emilia resting on one of the tables nearby. "Emilia." She asked simply, hoping to catch her attention.

"Oh well. I'm gonna go eat a donut." Josef said.

He enters the break room. He will, perhaps, notice a disattached head and a ghost. He looks around, still carrying his minigun, until he notices a ghost.

"Hey, Emilia!" Josef said.

edited 17th Apr '16 12:37:22 AM by arcada188

Unlike the rest of her coworkers, Laithe had walked to work, and gotten there about an hour early. She had taken this opportunity to do some research she didn't have time for yesterday. Taking a look at the clock, she left the office, arriving at the break room. She slipped in, waving hi to whoever might be watching, and stood next to the wall.

Despite the escalating commotion in the upper floors of the building the seemingly natural and expansive cave systems beneath the office foundations was peaceful. Of course, given the unconventional but nevertheless very convenient dimensional arrangement of the floors 'upper' was an arbitrary designation. Gnúpr Bjargsláson, a rather friendly cave troll who's name was generally approximately as Gnoop, was sleeping soundly against a cold rock wall. He was most often very punctual and professional when it came to his job as a resident mechanic, technician and general wrench-monkey at M.A.G.I. living under its roof (and most of its plumbing) made setting an alarm rather unnecessary - When something broke in in sort of place, it was invariably loud. Or at least the unhappy operator was afterwards.

This time it was a quieter sound that woke the troll from his slumber, a hyena's chuckle and jangling keys. A pointed ear twitched in recognition and Gnoop wearily opened a pitch black eye, "Coming!" He bellowed, scraping himself off the floor and striding through the narrow, tall tunnels with incredible speed for a creature so big. Fortunately for Erin, he remembered to put his overalls and singlet on this time. He clasped a massive hand around the doorknob and very gently pulled it back, ripping it clean off the hinges. "Oh no, not again!" Gnoop sighed, looking equally embarrassed and exasperated as he set it out of the way, "Good morning, EK." He smiled to the Gnoll, shifting his massive frame out of the way, "How are you?"

"You look fine, I guess. Not that I give a damn." Johnny replies to Aaminah, still a tad sour about his master plan being crushed by traffic. "But pull up your shirt, or at least wear a smaller one next time."

edited 17th Apr '16 12:59:32 AM by gregnes2000

After Prohibition ended and alcohol lost the Calvin Klein “sexy and forbidden” factor, $ini$ter realized that he didn’t care for the stuff all that much. Sure, means to an end to rub elbows with shitheads, but was that really it? Centuries of civilization, and wheat soup was what everyone agreed on?

Fuck that.

$ini$ter went hard or he went home, and as his extremely undignified open-mouthed sprawl on Gnoop’s couch proved, he definitely didn’t go home. Last night, he’d scored: genuine South American geodes, from Chile’s crusty underbelly into his waiting hands. Lick it; crunch it; break it up into tiny pieces and sprinkle it in your coffee; it was rock salt, taken to its logical conclusion.

Naturally, he took it down to Gnoop’s little slice of Heaven, both to test the quality and to spread the love. It was hard to find someone who appreciated the texture and nuance of foreign gemstones, and that it took thousands of goddamn years to build up to that size and complexity. Wine could suck a fat one, he’d found where the real aging game was, and it was literally under everyone’s noses the whole time.

Of course, it wasn’t all peaches and cream. Gnoop’s abode, for instance, wasn’t so much a house as it was a fucking hole in the ground, with every inconvenience one would think would arise from that—with the exception, mercifully, of electricity, allowing the mouthy dragon to reach over and flick on a lamp as the clatter of broken door reverberated through the space. “Sounds like somebody needs to call maintenance,” he called out in a post-awakening throaty yell, the joke just on the cusp of being said by him in this exact situation enough times to start being funny again. His polo shirt, designer something-or-other, was wrinkled and dotted with dust specks, while his dress slacks were rolled up past the ankle to prevent anything from… getting on them. He held up his wrist watch, taking a lick across its face to jumpstart his thought processes with the taste of fresh gem, then squinted his eyes at the manual hands. “Shit.” He let his arm fall to the side and plopped his head back on the couch arm rest in annoyance. “Yo, Gunprmensch, what’s the point of living in the future if you don’t use any tech?” He threw his legs over the side of the couch and began pulling on his shoes, blinking away the weary wiles even as he grimaced at the footwear’s accumulated muck. “In my day we had to train a fuckin’ canary to wake us up, and we did it. You’re good with technology, how hard is it to make a smart phone that works with rock fingers? They got the alarms built right in, now.” He called out, not quite able to see him or EK from his position.

edited 17th Apr '16 2:09:44 AM by Uncandescent

Break Room: Miranda, Josef, Emilia

Meanwhile, Josef looked around, eating another donut. Knowing he is unable to enjoy the taste without certain spells, Josef frowned in annoyance, and walked up to the head lying on the floor. Josef picked it up.

It was Miranda.

M.A.G.I. Security Office - "The Dojo"

It wouldn't even take that long, Kou considered, not for the first time. Stab the hardened ones with sharp pencils, one through each eye, click-clack splotch. Poison the water cooler with specially treated brugmansia suaveolens. Touches fluffy tails.

She doesn't have to be that person anymore, however. She probably can't, even if she wanted to. Since that night with her.

Kou's father taught her many things- a Master's Degree worth in Monster Killing, with an associate in Terrible Parenting and a community college certificate too shameful to put in the resume in Running-away-from-problems-ology. To a lesser degree, however, he also taught her about the survival of the fittest.

While as a precocious child she had rebuffed his advice -ofcource the Tiger was most fittester than the Rabbit, it had big, toothy mouth and was like Rawr!!- , she has had many experiences over the ages that reaffirm the wisdom of his words.

Adaptation is the key. In this modern world, where    monsterMONSTERMONSTERMONST-    extranatural people walks the earth openly, peaceably, her stagnant mindset was a liability. She knew how to read between the lines. She knew where the winds blew, which side history would ultimately vindicate, and which side would end up either demonized as B-list villains or patronized as "didn't-knew-betters".

To survive, nay, to thrive in this brave new world requires that she immerses herself in this culture of tolerance and acceptance.

Putting aside that terribly embarrassing incident with the half-nakedness, body paints, and cat ears, she must - gulp - make a non-human friend.

She distantly noted that her commemorative 2008 inaugural stein containing 100% non-organic orange juice stubbornly remains on the table instead of moving to rehydrates her parched throat. While such rebellious behavior cannot be tolerated, she quickly deduces that it is because the handle has transmuted to finely grounded dust in her whitened grip. Oh, my. Silly Kou.

Tentatively, she grips her little orange book - How To Make Friends for Very Dumb Dummies - and exits her office inside the security checkup station, giving Chuck a stilted wave, and takes the elevator to the infamous Offices floor.

Five minutes, Kou. Just have a friendly conversation, for just five (5) minutes (300 seconds), with a    M   fellow employee, that's all. Whoever is fine. Not the kid, though. Or the angel. Or the fox.

M.A.G.I. Office

Kou arrives, muttering under her breath like a mantra, clutching an orange book like a lifeline. She seems to be watching the proceedings witih a feverish look, her eyes searching for something, or someone...

M.A.G.I. Office: Kou, Josef.

Josef suddenly enters the office, walking up to the newcomer, his left hand cradling Miranda's lost head and the other hand opening the door. It was a half-oni named Kou.

"Hey." Josef said.