So I’m trying to work on some short (or short enough) stories, and I’ve made some headway on that front already. But I’m in a bit of a jam that’s making progress difficult — and I figured that some outside opinions would help me out.
Like the title implies, I’ve got a character that I want to write about — Davis, a skilled fighter (and seasoned cook) who’s currently travelling the world and helping out wherever he can. (If you want to read more, I talked about him in the hero critique thread a while back.) In a nutshell, though, he’s an earnest — if dorky — guy living in a sci-fi/fantasy world, where mechanical creatures called “Virals” run rampant, and brave men and women stand up to either fight them off, or learn more about the world’s ails.
Here’s the issue I’m having. My plan — sure, let’s call it that — is to tell a sort of “prequel chapter”, i.e. the misadventures Davis had before his story proper starts. By extension, that means I’m looking to tell a story within 9k-12k words; that’s not an ironclad range, but it’s something to keep in mind for now. The important thing is that I want to make sure that if I write this story — something I’d like to try and have published, in an ideal world — it needs to be some top-notch work. And part of being top-notch means making sure the right character is in the right story. So with that in mind, here are the two options I’m torn between:
Story A is the one I started first (and weighs in at about 4700 words right now). It follows Davis as he stumbles upon Fort Gallium, a town hidden away in some sandy canyons, but still reeling from harassment by Virals. He jumps in to lend a hand wherever he can — on a large scale, like cooking for the worn-down survivors, and on a small scale by becoming the personal assistant of the young Erica. But the situation grows increasingly dire; Fort Gallium’s getting separated from the outside world AND invaded regularly by Virals, so it’ll take some real legwork on Davis’ behalf if he wants to play the hero.
The idea behind Story A is to have a sort of juxtaposition in place. Davis has baggage (which gets touched upon in the story) but by default he’s a bright, optimistic, and unabashedly corny hero — and not that far-removed from an episode of Power Rangers. He’s in a town full of people and soldiers that are weary and wary, with an understood sense that the guillotine’s right above their necks. Not only does Erica call Davis out, but in Act 2 our hero only manages to fight off some of the Virals, while others use heretofore-unseen skills to complete their raid and cause some damage.
So on one hand, the idea is to show that guts and cheer aren’t enough to solve every problem. BUT, more importantly, Davis’ character and guts (even more than his abilities) are vital; he fights on, and fights harder. Not only does he score a major win by story’s end, but he becomes a symbol of hope that the survivors desperately need in such trying times.
Story B is the one I started second (about 3900 words in). Once more, it follows Davis — who, after plenty of bad luck, has been left to wander through a ruins-filled desert with nothing but the ragged clothes on his back…and not even that. In the midst, he has an encounter with a band of Virals, and takes them on — but it’s during that fight that he not only learns that certain Virals can talk, but that they’ve got something nasty planned. Fortunately, he gets some outside help from Mercedes; she’s a researcher who’s the last surviving member of her team, and more importantly (in her eyes) wants to complete their mission to make a breakthrough on Viral biology. Knowing full well that Mercedes is onto something, Davis helps with her research — and sure enough, they make an important discovery amidst the sands.
Story A has more (for lack of a better word) merit, but I feel like Story B has the potential to better suit and capture Davis’ essence. The comedic element is played up, and it feels like a more fun experience all around; if Davis is basically a red ranger minus the spandex, then it’s only natural to put him in a story that caters to that spirit. It does lose some of that complexity and weight, though I wouldn’t go so far as to say “it’s all fluff”. In any case, there are more opportunities to focus on and strengthen Davis; named or not, there are fewer characters to worry about, and by extension fewer worldly circumstances to bog things down…or bloat the word count.
I don’t want to pare it down to “Story A is dark” and “Story B is light”, but I can see why some people might make the connection. Story B has a lighter feel than Story A; they’re both ostensibly about heroism and courage, but take different routes to reach that end goal. Honestly, I’m kind of leaning toward Story B and its inherent sense of fun. But the circumstances in Story A — the fight for the right to be thought of as a hero — make it hard to shrug off.
So I’m trying to work on some short (or short enough) stories, and I’ve made some headway on that front already. But I’m in a bit of a jam that’s making progress difficult — and I figured that some outside opinions would help me out.
Like the title implies, I’ve got a character that I want to write about — Davis, a skilled fighter (and seasoned cook) who’s currently travelling the world and helping out wherever he can. (If you want to read more, I talked about him in the hero critique thread
a while back.) In a nutshell, though, he’s an earnest — if dorky — guy living in a sci-fi/fantasy world, where mechanical creatures called “Virals” run rampant, and brave men and women stand up to either fight them off, or learn more about the world’s ails.
Here’s the issue I’m having. My plan — sure, let’s call it that — is to tell a sort of “prequel chapter”, i.e. the misadventures Davis had before his story proper starts. By extension, that means I’m looking to tell a story within 9k-12k words; that’s not an ironclad range, but it’s something to keep in mind for now. The important thing is that I want to make sure that if I write this story — something I’d like to try and have published, in an ideal world — it needs to be some top-notch work. And part of being top-notch means making sure the right character is in the right story. So with that in mind, here are the two options I’m torn between:
Story A is the one I started first (and weighs in at about 4700 words right now). It follows Davis as he stumbles upon Fort Gallium, a town hidden away in some sandy canyons, but still reeling from harassment by Virals. He jumps in to lend a hand wherever he can — on a large scale, like cooking for the worn-down survivors, and on a small scale by becoming the personal assistant of the young Erica. But the situation grows increasingly dire; Fort Gallium’s getting separated from the outside world AND invaded regularly by Virals, so it’ll take some real legwork on Davis’ behalf if he wants to play the hero.
The idea behind Story A is to have a sort of juxtaposition in place. Davis has baggage (which gets touched upon in the story) but by default he’s a bright, optimistic, and unabashedly corny hero — and not that far-removed from an episode of Power Rangers. He’s in a town full of people and soldiers that are weary and wary, with an understood sense that the guillotine’s right above their necks. Not only does Erica call Davis out, but in Act 2 our hero only manages to fight off some of the Virals, while others use heretofore-unseen skills to complete their raid and cause some damage.
So on one hand, the idea is to show that guts and cheer aren’t enough to solve every problem. BUT, more importantly, Davis’ character and guts (even more than his abilities) are vital; he fights on, and fights harder. Not only does he score a major win by story’s end, but he becomes a symbol of hope that the survivors desperately need in such trying times.
Story B is the one I started second (about 3900 words in). Once more, it follows Davis — who, after plenty of bad luck, has been left to wander through a ruins-filled desert with nothing but the ragged clothes on his back…and not even that. In the midst, he has an encounter with a band of Virals, and takes them on — but it’s during that fight that he not only learns that certain Virals can talk, but that they’ve got something nasty planned. Fortunately, he gets some outside help from Mercedes; she’s a researcher who’s the last surviving member of her team, and more importantly (in her eyes) wants to complete their mission to make a breakthrough on Viral biology. Knowing full well that Mercedes is onto something, Davis helps with her research — and sure enough, they make an important discovery amidst the sands.
Story A has more (for lack of a better word) merit, but I feel like Story B has the potential to better suit and capture Davis’ essence. The comedic element is played up, and it feels like a more fun experience all around; if Davis is basically a red ranger minus the spandex, then it’s only natural to put him in a story that caters to that spirit. It does lose some of that complexity and weight, though I wouldn’t go so far as to say “it’s all fluff”. In any case, there are more opportunities to focus on and strengthen Davis; named or not, there are fewer characters to worry about, and by extension fewer worldly circumstances to bog things down…or bloat the word count.
I don’t want to pare it down to “Story A is dark” and “Story B is light”, but I can see why some people might make the connection. Story B has a lighter feel than Story A; they’re both ostensibly about heroism and courage, but take different routes to reach that end goal. Honestly, I’m kind of leaning toward Story B and its inherent sense of fun. But the circumstances in Story A — the fight for the right to be thought of as a hero — make it hard to shrug off.
But I’ve gabbed on long enough. Any thoughts? Suggestions? Should I develop Story A more, or focus on Story B? Or should I scrap both and start something new?
Thanks in advance for the input. Now go ahead and fire away. With guts.
edited 2nd Apr '16 9:52:24 PM by Voltech44
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