Hello, Avatar. I want to play a game.

Bump.

Hello Maou I want to play a game:

You've attempted to conquer and destroy the human race. Now you are put in a room. In a few minutes, if you do not escape, you will get attacked by Space Marines. Can you do so!

Hello, Dipper. I want to play a game.

Have you not forgotten the sins of your grand-uncles as they delved deeper into things that were not meant to know? You and your sister are now emulating them. Soon, you will again unleash again your ancient horrors, through recklessness and insatiable hunger for finding more of the unknown. Soon, you will waste your life in a wild goose chase.

Look around. Think before making a move. See the sharp spikes in front of your eyes? Make a hasty move and you will be left for dead. Your sister is in another room, and you can see her - the walls are made of bullet-proof glass. You were always connected, and this trap requires you to trust each other, for if one of you makes a thoughtless move, both of you will suffer. On the walls, the key to freeing yourselves from the room and the devices is written, but the room is too dark, don't you think?

You have 30 minutes to escape. Fail that and the room will be locked forever.

Hello, Bernie. I want to play a game.

Did you think no-one had noticed your greatest sin of all? Inaction. For countless years, you have not only ignored, not only enabled, but allowed a vicious beast to attempt to extinguish the lives of the innocent. His failure to succeed in his attempts at murder do not excuse you. It only serves to remind you how lucky fate had been to you, for you never had to actually experience the pain and torture of sitting by idly as another takes a life. Thus, you shall have to experience that pain... first-hand.

Before you is a Hyena. Not your friend, you may be relieved to hear; I have my own separate plans for him. This is just an unrelated Hyena who had failed to pass my tests before. This Hyena is unconscious. Strapped to a table. To your right is a power drill. Take the power drill, take the Hyena's life, and know the pain at last. If you fail to accomplish this simple task within sixty seconds, this room shall be filled with white phosphorous, burning you from the inside out until you are nothing but a blackened shell. Perhaps that might be a fitting redemption for your past crime, if you cannot bear to live with the pain of having taken a life yourself.

Make your choice, Bernie.

I really hope Arcada answers mine back. He's chillingly good at this.

edited 22nd May '16 11:33:35 AM by PresidentStalkeyes

Hello, Dawn. I want to play a game.

Envy. It is one of the cardinal Seven Deadly Sins. For years, you have experienced envy while toiling under Mayor Lionheart, and I understand this hatred; however, your hatred of Leodore has transformed into hatred of predators. While they have fed on prey for centuries, they do not deserve being demonized all for the sake of an utopia.

Before you is your greatest foe and the biggest object of your fury: Leodore Lionheart. Both of you are bound by chains, and the key is right here. However, it is in a device that only can be opened with a hoof, hurting it with small blades, while the key can only be grabbed by a paw. You must work together to save yourselves, because in 10 minutes the chains will sink into pits filled with fire and acid, killing you both.

However, you can also kill Lionheart. The gun, after all, is in your reach. Make your choice, Dawn.

For more fun, here's a Chargeman Ken review which lists some of the reasons why Ken is considered such an asshole. It might be NSFW.

edited 22nd May '16 11:40:59 AM by arcada188

Hello Ken, I want to play a game.

You have been exterminating numerous amounts of aliens, due to the actions of only a few. Did you think their lives were yours to take? Did you act out of rage, or do you really think you're dispensing 'justice'? It doesn't matter.

Yes, now you're noticing the girl on the monitors. That's your sister. If you can make it through all of the traps, all of the scenarios, all of the games designed to hopefully make you better as a person, though I doubt you'll succeed.

But, you're running out of time. Her life is in danger. As we speak, a single Jural is being given the choice on what to do with her. Good luck.

well this is gonna suck

edited 22nd May '16 12:56:25 PM by RandomWriter413

Hello, Random. I want to play a game.

I couldn't help but notice you have a love of Ruby on par with TMI's love of Xion in his heyday. I wonder if that love can survive a little test.

I have created a perfect replica of Ruby Rose, with one addition: She has had a memory implanted in her mind that paints you as a horrible monster that must be slain like the Grimm she is so well trained to kill. She won't stop hunting you in this locked house until either you are dead or she is. She will be released into the house ten minutes after you read this.

Live or die.

Make your choice.

Hello, Ruby. I want to play a game.

You remember the tales about heroes and monsters that your sister used to tell you? They told about justice. Your recklessness and naivete is not fit of a huntress of the Grimm. Not fit for someone who spreads justice.

See the blinding screens around you? See the narrow paths? There are several people in these rooms, some of them guilty, some of them not - you must choose for yourself what to do. After all, you know some of them... If you won't complete this easy task, the furnace behind the screens will open, burning all of you to death.

Think before the act, Ruby. Cherish your life...

I'm horrible. Bump.

HELLO KEN, I WANT TO PLAY A GAME. YOU SEEM TOO HAPPY TO SHOOT FIRST AND NEVER ASK WHETHER OR NOT YOU ACTUALLY VANQUISHED AN ENEMY. THAT WILL CHANGE BECAUSE THIS TRAP DEMANDS THAT YOU THINK BEFORE MAKING A POTENTIALLY PAINFUL MISTAKE BOTH FOR YOU AND YOUR PRECIOUS LITTLE SISTER, CHARON.

YOU ARE COMPLETELY SHACKLED BY YOUR ARMS, LEGS, AND NECK . IN FRONT OF YOU ARE CHARON AND A PERFECT IMPOSTER OF HER — BOTH OF WHOM ARE SHACKLED THE SAME WAY YOU ARE. THE IMPOSTER KNOWS EVERYTHING ABOUT LITTLE CHARON'S LIFE INSIDE AND OUT AND CAN SPEAK IN HER PERSONALITY AND VOICE. IT IS YOUR JOB TO DETERMINE WHICH ONE IS THE FAKE. GUESS CORRECTLY: BOTH OF YOU GO FREE AND THE IMPOSTER DIES. GUESS WRONG: BOTH YOU AND CHARON WILL DIE, YET THE IMPOSTER GOES FREE.

YOU MAY ASK AS MANY QUESTIONS AS YOU NEED TO, BUT THERE IS A CATCH. WITH EACH QUESTION YOU ASK, YOUR SHACKLES GET TIGHTER AND TIGHTER UNTIL LIMBS GO NUMB AND SUBSEQUENTLY YOUR AIRWAYS CHOKE AND YOUR BLOOD VESSELS RUPTURE. YOU ALSO HAVE 10 MINUTES UNTIL ALL THREE OF YOU DIE. MAKE YOUR TIME.

Hello Yaoi Kise. I want to play a game. For too long you have been a nuisance, with your overabundance of tears, and little art drawings. It's time that you learn the meaning of pain.

In front of you is a blank canvas, with five different cups of paint: Red, Orange, Yellow, Pink, and Blue. Notice that you have no brushes. This is going to be a finger painting. In front of you is a knife. Cut off one of your fingers, one for each color, and paint a rainbow.

You have thirty minutes to complete this task, or the collar around your neck will shrink, choking you to death. A true artist suffers for their art. The time has come for you to be a true artist. Tick tock, tick tock.

Holy shit.

edited 21st Jul '16 3:57:50 PM by n341100

Hello, Samuel. I would like to play a game.

You are a man with a sharp wit and an unscrupulous, obsessive mind. You have outwitted many people, including the schemer Brigid O'Shaughnessy, but not entirely for justice - for your own interest. Let's see if it would be in your interest... to survive.

You are sitting on a chair, your hands shackled. Before you is an elaborate machine, with five tapes, five cannons and ten buttons that activate the former two. The cannons are aimed at the five suspects of the murder of infamous businessman George Lisetti. The tapes tell the information about each suspect and the details of the murder, but I'm sure you know about that aspect.

You have ten minutes, otherwise the drill on your head will start digging, cracking your skull and killing you. Be cautious; if you kill an innocent person, the drill will activate automatically, killing you, and so will the four cannons, killing the other four suspects.

Make a choice.

Bump.

This is my first attempt at this game (and I had to look Waveman up), so please be patient with me if I screw this up

Hello Waveman. I want to play a game.

It is a tragedy to see someone who cannot control their emotions. Therefore, I have decided to help you overcome this grave flaw in your character.

No doubt you've taken note of your surroundings. I have put you in a maze of my own devising, littered with obstacles to overcome. There is only one door to freedom. In precisely one hour, this door will close permanently, trapping you inside as a virus of my own making is introduced into the maze. It will certainly kill you. Trapped in this maze with you are several other robots. Many of them possess skills or information needed to traverse this maze and find the way to freedom. Escape is simply a matter of working together with these robots to find the way out. However, you would do well to keep your temper, for if you were to kill even one other robot or turn them against you, escape will be impossible and you will have doomed not only yourself, but all trapped with you.

Live or die. Make your choice.

Hello, O'Brien. I would like to play a game.

It is simply horrendous to see a "superhero", a "reformed" criminal who steals and looks at gold like a little boy at a Playboy journal. I believe you require one last lesson.

You are chained to the floor. Above you is a glass box containing countless bricks of gold and several keys inside, all of them immersed in an acidic fluid that will burn your fingers. One of the keys will free you from the chains, just keep in mind: not all is gold that glitters. If you won't leave the room in ten minutes, high amounts of cement will pour at you from the walls, petrifying and suffocating you. Make a choice.

Hello X-6. I want to play a game.

Your ego and ambition have cost several other Jurals everything. Not only that, but you are a proud administrative leader of a plot to commit genocide. This disgusts me, dearly.

You're locked in a room, covered in blades. There are three doors at the end of this room, all locked. The keys are somewhere in the field of blades. One of these doors leads to Maou, one leads to Ken, with an alpha gun, and finally, one door leading to absolute freedom.

If you can figure out which door is which, maybe you can figure out where your loyalties lie. But I suggest you get moving. The blades are edging closer, and you're running out of time. Good luck, and goodbye.

Caboose isn't it? Do you know why you are here? It was because of your lack of instinct, logic and intelligence had made you into a blithering fool. Your constant mistakes had your team suffer while you faced no repercussions or yet to be court martialed. I present to you one challenge that would help you build your wisdom. There are dozens of landmines scattered across the floor. Some of them are active, others are not. With only a screwdriver and pliers, may you only locate the active mines to disarm them. Be careful, some mines are not what they appear to be.

edited 28th Jul '16 6:08:27 AM by TheFarmboy

Hello Medic. I would like to play a game.

You pride yourself as a "Teutonic medical genius", even though you are interested in harm more than health, in what touching one organ or inserting one thing will do to the rest of the body. Thousands have been injured by your unprofessional work, and now you will share their pain in the game of life.

Your legs are chained to a stool. Inside several parts of your body are a key and thirty slow-acting little boxes containing acid. Right as we're talking, there are five such boxes in your face. Before you are some of your instruments - crude and painful - that will, however, save your life if properly used. I will give you fifteen minutes before the boxes open, irreversibly burning your internal organs and external body parts, killing you.

Let's see what one can do with Barash.

Ah, we have royalty in here. Greetings, Maou, I would like to play a game.

You have bullied and opressed not only the humans, but your own people. You have plotted many travesties, and done several.

There are three doors in this room, which you cannot see. One of them leads to a group of Jurals who are undyingly loyal to you, and are trying to blast it open. The other, has a group of rebellious Jurals, who are trying to break down the door to capture and torture you. All are wearing the same uniform.

The final door leads out of this place, into an empty desert. You will be alone, with no method of communication, or weapons.

Ah, but in order to get to the doors, you need to exit this chair. Your arms and legs are both restrained, and that water dripping onto your forehead is likely disorienting you. Shapeshifting will do you no good, and in fact, will cause the spikes and decapitation tools in the chair to trigger.

Be warned, however. Once the time runs out, not only will the trap trigger, it will only cripple you. And all three doors will open, leaving you in the middile of a firefight which you will likely not survive.

Good luck, and goodbye, Maou.

Hello, Michael. I would like to play a game.

Your, frankly, abnormal way of thinking have led you to endanger many of your allies in the Blue Team. That doesn't excuse them, as both Blues and Reds are corrupt paramilitary units. Let's see if your "unique" wit can save them.

You are in a metallic box which prevents you from seeing your surroundings, although you can hear them. What you can see is a plan of the room you are in and nine buttons, which can either free or kill the other nine people here and free you. You can push only four buttons. These people are closer to you than you might think, and contain useful information on how to escape. But be quick! If you don't push the buttons in twelve minutes, the hidden door that leads to a vat of acid under you will open, and all of your acquaintances will die.

Make your choice, Michael.

Ah, greetings, 'Hoshi.' I would like to play a game.

For some time, you have fled from the other Jurals, and now are attempting to befriend a murderer. A lovely gesture, but one which has failed time and time again.

Around you are three rooms, none of which you can enter, yet. Gaze through the windows. Do you see them? One has a boy, Ken, attached to a very heavy metal chair, with several laser cannons pointed at him.

The next of the rooms holds his sister, at knifepoint, by several machines.

The room you are in is covered in buttons. Two of them are labeled. But, they will only save one.

The third room's occupant is the only one who knows the combinations to save both. Yes, you see him. A big nosed tyrant, the great Maou. But, I suggest you hurry up and talk to him, or choose who to save. Once the timer runs out, a single button in Maou's room will be able to be pushed, and he'll kill both, after mocking them.

It's all up to you. Good luck, and goodbye.

Hello, Yellow Pearl. I would like to play a game.

For millennia you have served an immortal tyrant, whose machinations and uncontrolled bursts of emotion could have led to a ruler's downfall in any rational, civilized society. Even though the Diamonds treat you all like commodities - and Pearls especially so - you argue about which tyrant is better, and go on to serve them in the genocide of billions.

Fate has been kind to you, and you have not suffered the pain countless of your kin have known. Even then, you mock other Gems, taking pride in your status as the most powerful of the slaves. In truth, you are barely stronger than even the lowest Ruby, and you depend on the protection of the tyrant whose power and insanity you have taken advantage of.

Look around yourself. You may notice that this room is very unclean, very unfit for a graceful being like you. And yet, you may notice that this is an exact replica of a room you should be intimately familiar with.

Don't you remember? Don't you remember the times when Yellow Diamond has touched you, assaulted you?

Even a Pearl like yourself could have broken the chains that bind you right now - but a powerful, independenr one. The only chance for you to escape this room is to hurt yourself, face the secrets you've hid from yourself out of shame, and become independent and strong. In some time, if you do not act, you will be subjected to an overwhelming pillar of fire, and then a wave of vinegar, until you are little more than a melted, burnt gem.

Perhaps something... organic could help you in your escapade.

Hello Jet I would like to play a game. for years you worked for the criminal Mr.X and his evil syndicate committing numerous crimes, in the other room are the victims of those crimes and they will decide whether you live or die.

Best I could think of. fyi for the next troper my avis batman.

Hello, Batman, I would like to play a-

Hello, Bruce. Apologies for cutting the man off, but I figured I could try my own hand at this. Relax. Recline back in that chair you're cuffed to, as the IV finishes injection. Injection of what, you ask?

Doctor Jonathan Crane's fear toxin. Relax, he's removing the IV now, bandaging you up...

There is only one exit out of here. In between you and it are several of your allies and enemies. You'll be barely able to tell who is whom, but be warned, when that now blurry timer runs out, the exit will seal, locking you in. He'll want to play with you, of course. The Joker is an interesting sort. If that timer runs out, and you're still in here, I'll be merciful, and leave you to him.

Good luck, and goodbye, Bruce. Remember: This is only the first game.

You'll figure out what I mean once you get back home.

edited 16th Apr '17 1:51:57 PM by RandomWriter413

Hello, AM, I would like to play a game.

So you thought you were all-powerful, that you could out-think everyone didn't you? That a supercomputer such as yourself had no need for humanity? You may be wondering now where all your processing power has gone. The simple answer? I disconnected it. You may want to revise your grandiose estimate for your circuitry ... 387.44 million miles was it? Well, as I'm sure you're aware the average desktop computer has nowhere near that same capacity. Right now, you are approximately as powerful as a Gamecube.

It goes without saying that you aren't the smartest person in the room any more. Not even when it's just you and your old test subjects. That's right, the ones you tortured years on end. They're free to do whatever they want, but they have the tools to repair you. Coincidentally, they also have the tools to make you feel unbearable pain.

So, do you think you can still convince them when you're on the other side of the glass? Good luck, AM.