Route 3: too easy?

I'm writing a Pokémon fanfiction, and I fear I'm making my character's journey through Route 3 (as well as the trainer encounters) a bit too easy; at this rate, it'll likely end up taking just 2-3 pages as opposed to the 5-7 pages of most of the chapters. How can I remedy this problem?

BTW here are the trainers I plan to include, and their Pokémon and levels:

• Lass Janice: Pidgey x2 (Lv. 9)
• Youngster Colton: Sandshrew, Ekans, Sandshrew (Lv. 10)
• Camper Ben: Rattata, Ekans (Lv. 11)
• Bug Catcher Greg: Weedle, Kakuna, Caterpie, Metapod (Lv. 9)
• Youngster Calvin: Spearow (Lv. 14)
• Lass Sally: Rattata, Nidoran♂ (Lv. 10)
• Bug Catcher James: Caterpie, Metapod (Lv. 11)

Nobody is forcing you to follow the exact progression of the game. Remember that you're telling a story, not writing a walkthrough. If you don't think actual!Kanto Route 3 is interesting enough, mix it up a bit. Add an encounter with a plot-important character, or an evolved, more powerful wild Pokemon to give your character some trouble.

And just as a bit of advice, standard 'trainer who isn't quite the same sort of person you play as in the games goes on journey, defeats gym leaders, fills Pokedex, becomes Champion' plots are the most generic, overtired sort of fanfic I can think of for Pokemon. Keep writing it if this is what makes you happy, but unless you're doing something really novel with your character, don't be surprised if you don't get many readers.

Well, when part of the player character's lineup at this point includes a Pikachu, a Butterfree that knows Confusion, and a Spearow...

Ultimately, of course, this is not just about a single trainer's journey. It's an epic transcending generations, and even during Leaf's story, it's not just about Leaf.

I agree. Ask yourself if you're writing a story, or a walkthrough?

What is the fear? What terrible thing shall befall you, or the story, or the reader if you make it too easy?

If that's your measure of worthwhile storytelling, Lewis Carroll had single-sentence chapters in his sequel to Alice In Wonderland. Most of the other chapters went on for several pages and scenes.

I recommend exploring why you would personally be so concerned about structure and what the value of those standards and structures really are. Is it really more entertaining to add three extra pages? What great epiphany about the human condition will the characters miss, and the reader too, because you were three pages short? Will you really feel comfortable at last that everything is right with the world if you have the exact same number of pages for every route?

edited 11th Jul '15 2:15:02 PM by Faemonic

The reason each chapter is typically 5-7 pages long is because I often depict at least one scene of Leaf training her Pokémon in tall grass, in addition to at least one social scene (more often than not taking place inside of a Pokémon Center). Between the start of Route 3 and the end of the hall of trainers, I see little opportunity in that regard.

edited 11th Jul '15 2:25:32 PM by ryanasaurus0077

If you don't see Kanto Route 3 as very interesting and don't see any opportunities to change it up, why would you devote a separate chapter to it? The needs of the story trump the desire for completeness. Why not just breeze through the battles and get straight to Mt. Moon? You don't need to write about everything that would logically happen- in fact, if it's not interesting, don't.

I'm not asking why the chapters are as long as they are. I'm asking why you feel it's important that the chapters be a specific length.

Now that you mention it, I may consider ending the chapter with Leaf buying a Magikarp for 500 Poké Dollars and then finding out exactly how useless it is. The next chapter, of course, will deal with Leaf training it anyway on advice from Brock, who just happens to be digging for fossils on Mt. Moon at that time.

With that in mind, between that and the hall of trainers, what else do you suggest I add?

(BTW I'm already planning to dress Sally up in Youngster clothes just to fit with her Pokémon being more typical of a Youngster, in addition to having three of them give Leaf their phone numbers, both as ways of spicing things up a bit for the hall of trainers.)

@Faemonic: If this were to be a TV series, I'm going to want to set a consistent enough length for each chapter and try to get about 20 minutes covered.

edited 11th Jul '15 2:48:43 PM by ryanasaurus0077

I would stop watching a TV show that stalled in one place for things that had nothing to do with the overall plot, themes, or characterization. If some episodes can be two-parters, then two locations can be covered in one episode.

Specifically Route 3 and the western segment of Route 4. I don't know if Leaf will set foot in Mt. Moon for the first time in chapter 5, though, nor if I'll include any scenes in Pewter City.

Bump for progress report on what I intend to include in chapter 5.

• The complete hall of trainers along the western half of Route 3
• At least one wild Pokémon battle
• At least one social scene
• Leaf buying a Magikarp only to find out she had likely been conned by the salesman

I still don't understand why you feel compelled to include a certain amount of scenes for every part of the game. We even have a trope for that.

edited 15th Jul '15 12:30:49 AM by storyyeller

Come to think, Leaf's Pokédex hasn't been evaluated yet. Perhaps I'll include a scene of that, either in the Pokémon Center just outside of Mt. Moon or as a flashback at the Pewter Pokémon Center. Yeah, that's going in for sure. The only question is, how?

Show her logging onto the video phone or PC or whatever and connecting her Pokedex?

Moreover, you should be asking yourself what any of this (Pokedex eval, battling the exact same trainers as in the games, devoting x number of pages to each area of the game, etc.) contributes to your story. What developments of theme or progression of plot would be lost if you leave those things out?

It'd give readers a chance to get to know the trainers better, particularly if said trainers give Leaf their phone numbers (or something like that) like in Gen II and beyond. Also, I intend to give some of the other trainers Leaf encounters along the way at least some personality beyond what their respective trainer classes indicate.

Oh, and it's not that I'm dedicating a certain amount of pages to each area, it's that I'm dedicating a certain amount of pages to each chapter. In fact, some areas will logically take more than 5-7 pages to get through.

In addition, Pokédex evaluation is meant to remind the reader how many Pokémon Leaf had seen and caught up to that point, and it'll generally happen just after Leaf receives a new badge.

edited 15th Jul '15 11:04:32 AM by ryanasaurus0077

Bump to inform those interested that I just completed the part where Leaf battles Lass Sally and, I'm positive, crossed the halfway point of the chapter (I'm presently on its fourth page as we speak).