Snarky but NOT funny

I've hit a rather irritating impasse while trying to write a scene for one of my stories and I just wondered if anyone here could help.

In it, the protagonist has been captured by a criminal and is on the verge of being raped and murdered, with no one to help her. No one is coming to aid her and no one even knows that she is missing.

Yet she has a rather sardonic and cold personality that manifests even through her fear. This is her assailant's first time doing something like this and so he is committed but nervous and makes several fumbles—which she feels compelled to comment on with biting sarcasm.

What I'm trying to convey here is that she is mocking him, yet I am VERY much trying to avoid any hint of Black Comedy.

One reason is that having violent sexual assault be associated with laughs is disgusting and the second is that I'm trying to convey a sense of real horror and hopelessness—indeed, she is killed, though she gets better.

So...any ideas?

edited 13th Mar '15 5:04:26 PM by Swordofknowledge

Well, utter despair and snark really don't work together in the first place without it being Black Comedy, unless they know in universe that Death Is Cheap or they have an active escape plan. The typical response when someone has you completely under their control is to not piss them off since they determine if and how you die.

The closest I can think to snarking in such a situation is from the second Dresdon Files book, Fool Moon when Harry tries antagonizing his captor into leaving the room to get some duct tape or a baseball bat. Though in that case he was ready to escape, he just needed to make him turn his back for a bit.

I suppose with an unprofessional torturer you can assume they're bluffing but the inexperienced are often the most unpredictable and dangerous.

edited 13th Mar '15 5:21:02 PM by Slysheen

Snark and hopelessness don't mix.

The situation might be bad and some people will snark. It might be worse and some people, albeit less of them, will continue on snarking. It might be nigh-hopeless and a select few will continue being snarky.

Yet, as soon as it truly turns hopeless, there will be no snark.

Being snarky towards someone who has the power and the inclination to hurt you, especially if your snark is not one that is meant to be humorous but rather one that is meant to be caustic, means that you are are getting a momentary reprieve via means of a scathing comeback, at the risk of making your situation worse. And you can do it because you have hope that it won't get any worse despite the risk.

That being said, the ability not to lose hope until the very end—regardless of how warped said ability can appear to some—aside, if you want the character to be snarky and yet not have the snark be taken as some sort of black humour, just make sure that the snark is of the scathing, caustic type, full of loathing towards whoever it is directed at.

But seriously, if you want to convey the gravity and hopelessness of the situation via snark, the way to do it is to have a character who is known for always snarking be unable to do it. Out-of-character moments generally portray grave situations much better than moments in which characters act the same as ever or only slightly differently.

edited 13th Mar '15 6:53:03 PM by Kazeto

Slysheen and Kazeto have come out with pure gold. In the situation you describe, I would expect the typically snarky character to have no snarky comments at all and that the narrative might even call attention to that.

You could mention what the character would like to say in such a circumstance but doesn't dare say it for fear it'd jeopardise her safety.

edited 13th Mar '15 6:35:43 PM by Wolf1066

Maybe she can make a couple snarking remarks at the beginning of the scene and then stops being able to as she realizes this time this time shit is getting real...?

Maybe the realization could be prompted by the villain in this situation doing something to knock the wind out of her sails. Think Ramsay Snow breaking a bunch of Theon's teeth to make him stop smiling.

"She thought of saying [insert snarky comment] but didn't dare antagonise him further..."