You Post Like a Dairy Farmer!

Pfah, It would seem that old age will be my undoing then.

I could kill you with my eyes closed and my hands tied behind my back.

edited 28th Jul '14 11:06:04 PM by mynameis:

You could, but you will not.

Only a total fool would risk all against me!

That's because you're not a threat to anyone else.

Stories of my victories spread far and wide!

Yeah, I am so sure it was your victories that make you famous.

You've got so little swag. You're worse than Luigi.

edited 29th Jul '14 7:47:01 AM by PowerfulKyurem

You know what? I think I'll fight dirty just for you misusing that word.

What, not afraid of an AK-47, are you?!

Not with you holding it.

Sorry, are we fighting or just rehearsing?

'd

at least I'm not scared of water pistols

I won't say, that way you won't see it coming when I destroy you.

I hear that you wear a tin foil hat all the time? Are you really that paranoid, and idiotic to do that?

edited 29th Jul '14 8:15:54 AM by PowerfulKyurem

I believe the word you're looking for is "fashionable".

I know what you'll do even before you do.

edited 29th Jul '14 10:08:46 AM by mynameis:

It must be disturbing to see your own death.

You're about as deadly as kebab meat, and twice as unappetising!

Exactly, because I'm going to kill you by cramming myself down your throat!

You're not hurting or entertaining me!

You're right, I'm pissing you off, because I'm winning...

I've seen better fighters in the Wellington Botanical Gardens!

edited 30th Jul '14 6:23:47 AM by DingoWalley1

Makes sense, seeing I've battled plants with better reflexes than you! too obvious?

You can't program your way out of this swordfight, script kiddie!

edited 30th Jul '14 11:28:28 AM by WertyYertrew

You'd be astonished. -haaaax-

Don't think you can reason with me now, kiddo!

Oh yeah, Watch as i hack you to pieces then.

Oh good, we can skip to the fun part.

Are you half snail? you've got the speed for it.

edited 30th Jul '14 11:31:55 AM by mynameis:

With your moves, I thought you were ALL snail.

All who challenge me come out scarred and battered!

Of course they do. Because a weakling like yourself can't kill anyone!

None who battle me live to tell the tale!

What, so there's nobody you've actually battled, then?

Only I have the brains to rule the universe!

But not the balls, unfortunately.

I am unparalleled in strength! You have no hope of defeating me.

You should start using it. Maybe then you stand a chance.

Your insults are so lame, not even the Westboro Baptist Church finds them reprehensible.

edited 30th Jul '14 12:05:05 PM by Aszur

I prefer to let my fighting speak for itself.

You can't win. If you strike me down I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.

Good, a little challenge would be nice.

A chimp could swordfight better than you.

edited 30th Jul '14 12:17:57 PM by mynameis:

Yes, but there's one problem: I'm not using a sword. -suddenly, gun-

I've got bigger bounties than yours to collect, whelp. In fact, I might as well be killing you for free.

Well then, I guess you're being paid relative to your success rate.

Did you train at all, or just read a guide to swords?

I just read a guide to swords. With your fighting skills, I think it's all I needed.

Apparently, normal chess is too much for you. May I pitch that we play Candy Land instead?

Nice try, bub, I've already won.

You look like something a pony'd throw up!