Light Novels and Misaimed Fandoms

Hello everyone. In an attempt to parody many tropes describing the "otaku/weeaboo" culture, I have published something that not quite, but somewhat resembles a light novel. My problem is that there is a person who very much disliked the free preview of chapter one that I posted on a Deviant Art forum while trying to ask of help with promotion ideas. To be fair I didn't post it when I launched the thread, but she asked for specific links, so that she could better help me out. I was hoping that people (other than my friends) would enjoy my slightly dry, Rule of Funny / Refuge in Audacity humour. It seems that it was untrue. I think that my work may be wavering in between Indecisive Parody and Indecisive Deconstruction. This may have resulted in the unwanted result of Misaimed Fandom when I posted the link to my preview. I had been trying to appeal to a very specific audience, and I think that's where I lost. Would any of my fellow tropers be kind enough to read through my first chapter and tell me what you think? To be honest, I am still a little bruised by this person's comments on deviantart. However, if you want to be brutal, be my guest. I'm trying to become less sensitive about my writing, and this would be a good start.

https://www.createspace.com/pub/community/give.review.do?id=1145820&rewrite=true

edited 4th Apr '14 9:39:53 PM by Webidolchiu94

If you want constructive criticism on your writing I think Writers Block would be the best place to ask.

Thanks. I never seem to be in the right forum.