How to Write a Crush

I'm having difficulty with a scene in a story I'm writing. One character, a girl of seventeen, is a scullery maid, and is nursing an enormous crush on the POV character, a man of twenty nine who is completely blind to her obvious infatuation. The setting's culture is very victorian esque, it's considered scandalous and immoral for a woman to chase and solicit a man into a relationship, and the age and class differences only widen the gap. However, the pov character considers her a friend and sees her frequently, and though she knows it's impossible she can't let the crush go.

I'm trying to make it obvious to the reader that she's pining for the pov character, but I so far my attempts either aren't obvious enough, or they make her seem like a simpering idiot, which she really isn't. If you were writing this sort of situation, how would you have her behave? I'm not used to this sort of emotion and I want to make sure I handle it well, to make her complex and not just a stuttering teenager who blushes and swoons. I'd really appreciate some reference material here, anything you think is particularly well written, or even just some tidbit from your own experiences would be really helpful.

edited 29th Mar '14 12:53:21 AM by Lockedbox

Well bro, I can say that you shouldn't be afraid to make it feel awkward. Love may not make you do crazy things, but it does make you do things without thinking about them in the ways we usually do, which can lead to situations that we regret later. It would be great if you could capture how their time together is kind of stuttery and maybe a little too honest; but if you make it cute, sincere and maybe even funny, it'd read pretty well!

In terms of her actual behaviour, what first comes to mind is that she could try all these different ways of expressing her affection for him - she can't describe her feelings directly, because of the cultural setting, so she tries one way and when it fails she tries another. So maybe have him notice that she is kind of hard to predict and keeps coming at him in new ways, sometimes warm, sometimes cold, sometimes meek, sometimes confident? I hope that helps!

Oops...just glanced at your profile. May I offer an apology and retract the "Bro" part of my earlier comment?

edited 29th Mar '14 7:45:31 PM by gingerman

Well, purely from personal experience with a crush, I wanted to be as far away from him as possible and around him all the time. I smiled when I thought of him. And while I didn't stutter when I talked to him, my face would heat up ridiculously. I used to practice what I'd say to him, but my voice would get caught in my throat and I'd forget; then later I'd beat myself up over what I considered a stupid thing or a series of stupid things that I said.

As I understand it, you're trying to depict the crush from the recipient's POV, and do it in such a manner that the audience can see it, even though the recipient is oblivious? And, I assume, not to make out the recipient to be anime-male standards of stupid? That's a pretty tough task, honestly, due to the way the POV is set up.

You could describe the physical reactions the maid is having around the main character but just have it be matter of fact and the main character doesn't speculate on why she's doing it very much. Like, she's stammering a bit more around him and her face is getting red. He observes these things but doesn't think anything unusual of it. The audience meanwhile might be like "ha ha, she's crushing". I'm not sure if that would make him too much of an idiot though.

edited 29th Mar '14 6:07:22 PM by hermiethefrog

I don't think it would make him look too much likean idiot. Due to the wide age gap and disparity in social status between them (especially the latter, given the era), it would not be unbelievable for him to simply not think of her in that context whatsoever.

Maybe he assumes she's only nervous looking because of his higher status and she's afraid of offending him?

edited 30th Mar '14 12:54:15 PM by ScorpioRat