I need someone to talk to.

See thread title.

I need to be banned

edited 14th Feb '13 9:12:40 AM by ohsointocats

What's up? Would you like me to private message you?

i don't know why you would want to

So, you want to talk, but won't say what about, you want to be banned, and you don't want anyone to message you.

All right, then.

edited 14th Feb '13 9:18:40 AM by Wheezy

I need to be banned from everything because I'm a terrible person okay I'm so sorry.

Look, I'm sorry to be blunt, but if you really feel that way, I would strongly recommend looking into some sort of professional psychological help/therapy. You're not a terrible person or bad at everything, but it seems apparent that your perception of yourself as such is getting in the way of your opportunity to lead an enjoyable life. Having low self-esteem isn't your fault, either—we all have regrets and things we hate ourselves for, and it can all become overwhelming easily. But you're not worthless; no one with free will is. Every human soul matters, and anyone can change the world. Seeking help isn't weakness or anything like that; it's the wisest thing you can do.

I know please ban me.

Cats, what are you trying to get out of this thread? Do you want someone to talk to or no? You seem to be giving mixed messages.

Cats, you are not going to feel better unless you can stop dwelling on how unhappy you are with yourself. You've dug yourself into a rut, and drilling deeper is not going to help get you out.

I don't think anyone here can really help much—but that is not because you're a terrible person. It's because when your mind refuses to let you hold onto anything positive, you're the only person who can really fix it.

That's not to say that you shouldn't try to reach out, because other people can provide support, but the only way you're going to feel better is if you throw every ounce of your willpower into telling yourself that every awful thought you can't stop is a lie.

You are not terrible.

You are not incapable of finding love.

It doesn't matter if you don't believe that. You just have to force yourself to come up with some defense against the thoughts, because they've already taken up far too much of you.

It is not easy, it is not fun, and it is not quick. But you can't keep letting those thoughts keep kicking you deeper into the pit of depression. Find some way to counter them. Please.

But it's not a lie. I'm treated horribly because I'm horrible.

From everything you've said on this site, it sounds a lot more like you feel horrible and have yourself believing that you deserve to.

Cats, I mean no offense by this, but looking at the number of posts you've made about finding yourself horrible or disgusting—anyone would feel wretched if they spent that much time thinking about it.

It takes up a hell of a lot of time and energy to be as miserable as you feel. For your own sake, you need to stop focusing on it. You can't be happy if this is where you're putting your energy.

And as bad as everything feels, I'm pretty sure happiness is still something you want.

There is nowhere else for my energy to go.

You can put that energy into not being miserable. Right now, all the horribleness is coming to you as naturally as breathing, but it's a serious drain.

Mix up your thought patterns. Even if it's just something like humming "Old Mac Donald Had a Farm" each time you have an unhappy thought. Change something.

If you're going to ignore everyone's advice, just PM a mod and ask them to deactivate your account instead of making it the entire forum's problem that you want to be banned.

Then call a support hotline.

edited 14th Feb '13 11:39:46 AM by Wheezy

'Cats, I want to you to copy Immi's and wheezy's posts and save them.

I'm locking this thread now.