Roles of Mother/Father Figures

I'd just want to know whether or not I'm alone with this opinion... I know how some people constantly say how single parents and/or same-sex parents can mess up a kid pscychologically, but really, as long as they have strong 'parental type' figures in their life of both gender (i.e. aunt/uncle, grandparent or other adult that takes a caregiving role) I say of both gender, not because 'everyone needs a mom and a dad', but because of the fact

• A. Having a parental role model of one's gender is REALLY important
• B. If one has a parental role model of the opposite sex, it can lead to a greater empathy for the opposite gender
• C. There have been studies that have proven that children raised with opposite-sex siblings later are better at socializing with members of said opposite sex (this could also apply to relationships like this as well)

Does anyone have any thoughts on this or experiences that could apply to this?

edited 25th Jan '13 3:21:37 PM by Willbyr

I personally do not feel the gender of the parents or the gender of the role models is as important as the quality of said authorities.

Respect, honor, integrity, honesty, all the values of what makes a good and responsible person are not gender specific.

And if one has a proper teacher in general, gender is not that important.

Of course, the more variety of quality the better, but I don't think that having both genders, regardless if it matched the gender of the child or not, is a must.

"Psssh. Even if you could catch a miracle on a picture any person would probably delete it to make space for more porn." - Aszur

Agree with 2.

Fight smart, not fair.

The important part of that is that it's an opposite sex sibling, or someone who is relatively close to your age compared to a parent and is relatively equal in power when compared to a parent. The results of those studies are not applicable to parenting.

i don't think its important, even if can be scientifically proven that having father and mother help children psychologically, it is impossible to achieve.

People die and divorce, so a lot of family will always 'not standard'. Unmarried Parents, Widowed Single Parent, Same-Sex Parent, or Adopted Parents is fact of life, i don't see how they can be avoided.

It's important that children has a male and female influences in their their lives. But I didn't think the 1950s 'nuclear' mode of family is that important, It's wasn't that long ago child rearing was handed collectively you know.

edited 28th Jan '13 4:32:18 PM by joeyjojo

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Yeah, I don't mean that everyone needs a 'mother' figure and 'father' figure. What I'm trying to get at is that children need positive role models. Whether that's a aunt, uncle, parent, guidance counselor, it would be beneficial.

It takes a village to raise a child

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Gender doesn't factor.

The best method of raising a child is as a community. Kids should be able to go wherever, hang out with other kids and adults at-will, and learn everything they can on their own terms. This prevents single-mindedness and indoctrination.*

The only issue there is that sometimes adults are evil bastards, so that's not feasible anymore. In smaller communities, though, it was possible and did happen, and people were better off for it.

Mura: -flips the bird to veterinary science with one hand and Euclidean geometry with the other-

I disagree. Gender is not necessary, but it does factor.

The reason we have gender stereotypes is that statistically, some of them are somewhat accurate. Testosterone tends to make you more aggressive and give you a higher sex drive. Men tend to have higher levels of testosterone*

.

As a young boy grows up, who is (on average) going to be better at teaching him how to productively deal with the urges he has because of being a male? Generally speaking, someone with experience, which, generally speaking, is going to be another man. Ditto with girls and their issues. A guy is going to have a hard time understanding what a girl is going through when she has her first period; a woman in this situation is likely to be better suited to helping her deal with both the physical and emotional aspects of it.

Conversely, an adult of the opposite gender can help you learn to empathize with urges and situations you might not otherwise understand because of your gender.

This doesn't mean that a single parent or homosexual parents can't raise well-adjusted kids of either sex, but rather that each gender brings its own advantages and disadvantages to the table.

Much to my BFF's wife's chagrin, No Pants 2013 became No Pants 2010's at his house.

I also point out two more aspects of having multiple authority figures. One, more varied points of view to go to for advice - obviously, just because you are a girl and have a mom does not mean your aunt or older sister may not have more experience in certain things. Older siblings often seem to be good sources, being closer in age and often having more time to devote while engaged in chitchat and fun, as well as understanding the situation if parents are the source of frustration. Which brings me to the other point - time and patience to explain things. Single parenthood and working women, as much as obtainable divorce and careers are good things, and as much as I love and admire my mom who was a busy working single parent - these are not good for having the time and patience to help kids really understand the world. Multiple authority figures may have more time and patience to devote.

edited 31st Jan '13 10:04:01 AM by TheGirlWithPointyEars

She of Short Stature & Impeccable Logic My Skating Liveblog

Somebody linked this article on Facebook, and while it doesn't relate to the roles of parents to their children, it does relate to their relationship with each other.

That’s the epitome of privilege right there, not considering armed nazis a threat to your life. - Silasw

I would like to weigh in and state that as long as there are two caring adults in a stable structure, then it doesn't matter. Indeed, one could say that homosexual couples are more likely to have better offspring because they have to adopt - and to adopt you need to have a certain amount of conviction (especially since the adoption process is so incredibly long and complex).

Generally speaking, the gender of the parents do not matter. As long as there are parents - plural.

And even so, the common "nuclear family" idea is a modern construction.

Indeed. Single parents typically take the statement 'a child should have two parents' as a personal attack on their ability*

. But it's a statement of fact that a couple is going to have more capability to look after a chid then a single parent.

As for if the two parents should be of opposite sex well that's where things get heated.

edited 1st Feb '13 4:41:50 PM by joeyjojo

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That's because it has been used as an attack for so long.

I wish my father had been a single parent. My mother was a complete fucking disaster. He stayed with her because he didn't believe in divorce. Yeah. Thanks Dad.

It's quality, not quantity.

And we as a society need to start putting an emphasis on that.

My son's visitation with his father is supervised by his parents by court order. One would think having three caregivers my son would be prospering.

He has been having counselling for over a year, often is starving whenever I pick him up, and has three people who are hostile towards me instead of one.

Unless whatever quantity of caregivers is on the same page and agrees on the same gameplan for how to aid and raise that child, that's just making a very tense situation even more of a complex disaster. It's hard enough dealing with my son's paternal element. Let alone the added stress and drama of his grandparents too.

"Psssh. Even if you could catch a miracle on a picture any person would probably delete it to make space for more porn." - Aszur

Sorry to hear about that Gabrael. Less is definitely more, if your parent is an abusive jackhole.

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