Bullying, shunning, harassment and such matters

Well I guess being quiet and unsocial made me deserve being bullied. (sarcasm ) It's just an excuse most of the time.

But what would a person be like to deserve it? (genuine)

No one "deserves" to be bullied. However, adequately horrible people tend to not get bullied, so much as called out and not tolerated, which they might interpret to be bullying.

There is a difference between a legitimate callout ("hey, that thing you did/said was really shitty", "you're acting like an asshole" etc.) and bullying ("kill yourself", doxxing, etc. would, at least to me, fall under "bullying" rather than "calling out".)

Fish gets glass eye to protect it from bullying

Bullying is pretty much a built-in instinct, it seems. Other animals do it, even ones like fish.

Here's an article about a fish with a missing eye, who would get constantly attacked by other fish, who would sneak up on it from its blind side, steal its food, harass it, etc. The fish took to hanging around the lower parts of the tank, avoiding social contact.

The scientists gave it a prosthetic glass eye, which didn't allow it to see, but did allow it to appear more normal. The bullying stopped.

I've never been bullied, so i'm not sure how its supposed to feel for somebody who does face it on a regular basis. What thoughts run through a persons head to deal with the antagonism?

Back when I got bullied all the time, I used to just pray somebody would help me someday.

... I pretty much had to live with it for the longest time. T_T

I got bulled from kindergarden to grade 12.

Fortunately as a result, I got stronger, smarter, more cunning and sly and less socially akward.

Eh, I never paid much attention to it, as I was too busy having crippling self-esteem issues and feeling lonely and depressed.

Unfortunately, most people (including me) just got utterly messed up from bullying.

I've Always been clumsy and awkward, so I understand why other people would often mock me.

That's not true. That is exactly what they want you to feel. Bullying someone else for being clumsy is wrong. Making them feel like it's their own fault is even worse.

Uh, not for nothing, but who else's fault would it be if you're clumsy?

As for awkwardness, that can often be a byproduct of a lack of socialization, which bullying can lead to in a person. I know that that explains a lot in my own case.

edited 24th Jan '15 11:01:47 AM by Odd1

I meant making them feel like being bullied is their own fault is wrong. Sorry, poor wording.

I can barely tie my shoelaces, and I have no one to blame for that but myself.

edited 24th Jan '15 12:01:54 PM by RBluefish

I think bullying poisoned me a bit. For some reason, when I see somebody who was similar to me in highschool, I begin to hate them. I never mistreat them or be mean to them, but silently and privately I see them doing what I did whenever I was bullied (blaming themselves, not standing up, convincing themselves standing up will make it worse, living in fear) and hating them for it.

Luckily, I haven't been bullied much anymore, outside the internet.

When I was in school, people bullied me for being awkward and effeminate. It was terrible.

Bullying is so terrible and awful. I don't understand why anyone would do it. It's not empathetic or compassionate at all. People should consider other people's feelings.

Standing up sometimes makes it better, sometimes makes it way worse. That's the problem. A lot of the time, the bully just reasserts their power by ramping it up.

How does one person "stand up" to a gang, or someone physically stronger who's made it clear they're not afraid to use force?

Being bullied was the primary reason why I've become an almost friendless, grumpy man in a 21-year old's body.

I dealt with being bullied by either fighting or snarking right back. This didn't spare me being bullied but it at least showed them that I wasn't willing to change a single thing about myself to please them. In the end I think that's more important. Changing who you are means the bad guys win.

I've found the best way to keep people from picking on me is to give them no ammo by picking on myself first. A good sense of humor can ease a lot of interactions with potential adversaries.

@Bonsai: I'd say going to the police sounds like a good option there.

More or less the same here, though more so with how I was in middle school. Makes me bitter and depressed.

There was an incident that made the news where the police and school didn't do jack, and the victim had to take matters into his own hands. By which I mean using a knife to stab the bully to death while he was being beaten up.

Look up the Noel Estevez and Timothy Crump case if you want to see what I'm talking about. Get as many details as you can, as some of the news articles barely reported anything, while others went into detail about Timothy's terrorism campaign against Noel, Noel's attempted suicide, his going to the police, to the school, and finally his bringing a knife to defend himself, and having to use it as Timothy immediately started beating on him the instant Noel arrived at school.

Self-defense is how I see it. He had no choice. The cops didn't do a damn thing, and neither did the school.

I agree with you, Bonsai.

-sigh-

This is what happens when the authorities don't do their jobs.

So, authorities being authorities basically. It is extremely clear that their job is to ignore bullies, get victims in trouble and sweep the whole thing under the goddamn rug.

Hello there from one who has generally been in a position of authority for quite some time. I will quash bullies quite strongly when I hear about it, offering them once chance to clean up in mild cases, or they will get investigated immediately in the bad ones.

Not every bully gets swept under, I make sure those that do so get seen to.

I am copying a post of someone else's advice. I'd like to see how realistic you all think it is: