So, there are two updates to this story, and I haven't commented yet. Things are getting complicated.
Rather than smart, I'd prefer to be wise. It would let me be silly more often.
New chapter of Wait, Did That Happen Before?
In a flash of light, Ryouga suddenly found himself in a wooded area, next to a dozen Narutos playing cards at a table, each with a card stuck to their forehead, apparently in some sort of variation of the leaf concentration exercise. “What the?! Dammit, Naruto,” growled Ryouga, causing the shadow clones to freeze in place (and causing a dozen cards to drop to the table). “AGAIN WITH THE CLONES?!” Before their instructor had time to do anything, the clones simultaneously made a single handseal and vanished in a massive cloud of smoke, leaving behind a table and three decks of playing cards.
Meanwhile, at the house that Team Five had been hired to paint, Naruto's eyes briefly crossed as he received a sudden influx of foreign memories, causing him to drop his paintbrush on the welcome mat in front of the front door. “...Crap.”
“What was that?” asked Sakura.
“Nothing!” replied Naruto, trying to look innocent. “Don't worry about it. Just go back to painting the fence.”
Negi looked over from where he was painting a wall at the newly paint-covered welcome mat in front of Naruto. “There's a hose over there. If you wash it off, before it sets, you can probably get all the paint off.”
“Uh, yeah,” replied Naruto, only now noticing the paint on the welcome mat. “I'll get it clean. Don't worry.”
Sakura stared at Naruto for a moment. He was obviously covering something else up. After a moment, however, she decided that she really didn't care and returned to painting the fence.
It had been five rather normal days doing D-Ranks since Naruto hospitalized himself by dispelling several hundred clones at once, and he still couldn't remember much about Sakura. As the Kyuubi had predicted, upon discovering the cause of his collapse, Ryouga had been rather adamant about him ceasing all noncombat usage of clones for the time being. Naruto had immediately agreed to cut back on them. And like the Kyuubi had instructed, he continued to use them anyway.
Despite making a minor effort to keep his continued usage of shadow clones a secret, Ryouga managed to run into them on a fairly regular basis. Naruto couldn't help but wonder if Ryouga was actually looking for them. Every once in a while, he would just kind of appear next to them in a flash of light. It bothered Naruto that he wasn't sure if it was some sort of movement technique or part of the curse that Ryouga grumbled about so often. Regardless of which it was, Ryouga's inexplicable ability to run into them no matter where Naruto hid them had lead to several lectures that Naruto had blatantly ignored. And judging from the memories he had just received from his latest batch of clones, it looked like he was going to get another one at some point later in the day. Assuming, of course, that Ryouga actually managed to find him.
After the incident involving a naked Ryouga, an unconscious Naruto, and a trip to the hospital, Sakura and her team had spent five boring days doing D-Ranks. Naruto was still pretending not to remember who she was, and Negi and Ryouga kept chewing him out whenever he used his shadow clones. Despite this, the days passed by in a rather unnotable manner. They hadn't even managed to fail any more of their D-Rank missions. So Sakura had been waiting for the other shoe to drop. After the rather horrible first couple days on Team Five, there wasn't any doubt in her mind that it would happen. So when her communicator suddenly went off, it came almost as a relief. Almost.
Immediately, Sakura raised her wrist to her face. “Sakura here,” she said, speaking into the wrist-mounted communication device.
“Sakura, this is Ino,” replied the watch-like device with Ino's voice. “There's something going on at the market. Get down here as soon as you can.”
“On it,” she replied, only to suddenly realize that Naruto and Negi were staring at her. Inner Sakura called her an idiot. Sakura slowly lowered her arm. “Uh... oops.”
“Oops?” asked Ino.
“I'll tell you later,” replied Sakura. “Bye.”
“That...” said Naruto, staring at her. No, staring at her communicator. "What is-"
“That's amazing!” interjected Negi, far more coherent. “Where did you get that?”
“Ah,” said Sakura, looking down at her own arm. Abruptly, she swung it behind her back. “I have no idea what you're talking about!” she lied.
“I'm talking about your wrist-mounted radio,” specified Negi.
“Oh,” said Sakura. “That. Well, the truth is-” started Sakura, only to spin around and take off in the opposite direction. “I HAVE TO GO MEET INO!” she yelled back to her teammates.
“Wait!” called Negi, taking off after her. “You didn't answer my question!”
“Gah!” yelped Naruto. “Wait! We're not done, yet!” Turning, he looked back at the house they hadn't finished painting. “Oh what the hell! KAGE BUNSHIN NO JUTSU!” With the mission now in good(?) hands, Naruto turned around and sprinted after his unfortunately faster teammates. “WAIT, GUYS! THE MARKET'S NOT THAT WAY!”
Meanwhile, at the Command Center, the secret base of the Power Rangers, the aforementioned transforming super heroes were waiting for their final member to arrive.
“What's taking her so long?” muttered Ino.
From his stasis tube, Zordon opened his eyes. “I'm afraid that we cannot wait any longer. When Sakura arrives, I will fill her in on the situation and send her to join you.”
“Crap,” said Kiba.
“Looks like we'll have to do this without her,” said Yahiko.
“Alright,” acknowledged Tenten. “Zordon, what's going on?”
“Behold the viewing globe,” replied Zordon. As the Power Rangers turned to face the crystal ball, the globe lit up, displaying what appeared to be a large pig head encased in a metal helmet with deformed limbs sticking out as it tore its way through the Konoha market. “The images you see happened just a moment ago. It appears that Rita has released a ravenous pig upon Konoha. It's sole purpose is to eat. I calculate that he will consume the entire supply of food in Konoha within a few hours.” Zordon paused for effect before adding, “It must be stopped immediately.”
“That... sounds completely inane,” Ino replied flatly.
“Actually,” countered Tenten, “if that pig is really capable of devouring all the food in Konoha, she might have come up with a realistic way to take down Konoha.”
“By making a pig that eats a lot?” Yahiko asked sceptically.
“Actually, I think I see what Tenten's getting at,” commented Kiba. “If Rita manages to starve us to death, it doesn't matter if she can't beat us in a fight.”
“Precisely,” said Tenten. “They say that amateurs think tactics while professionals think logistics. If Rita's started to attack us logistically, this could just be the start of something much worse.”
“HAHAHAHAHA!” Sitting on the floor before her crystal ball, Rita laughed maniacally. Only to suddenly tense up, then turn and puke into a nearby bucket. After taking a moment to wipe the sweat from her forehead and the residual vomit from her lips, Rita turned back to her crystal ball, which displayed the Konoha market as the monster Pudgy Pig devoured everything edible in sight. “Take that, Konoha! My Pudgy Pig will leave you without a bite left to eat!”
“Oh dear!” said Finster. “My queen, might I suggest you return to bed? You're far too sick to be up right now.”
“Shut up!” Rita shouted. “I'm sick of being in bed! I'm sick of being sick! And I'm sick of puking my brains out every time I eat anything!” Turning back to her crystal ball, the evil witch grinned deliriously. “If I can't eat solid foods, than neither can anyone else! HAHAHAHAHA-urp!” Rita turned back to her bucket.
Meanwhile, at the west gate of the village, a small white animal slipped into Konoha under the shadow of a cart.
Now that's just sick.
Rather than smart, I'd prefer to be wise. It would let me be silly more often.
Fandom Heretic
... glorious.
More Wait, Did That Happen Before?
Pudgy Pig didn't react, continuing to devour the cart of vegetables it currently had its head buried in. Already, the sinister swine had lain waste to the vast majority of Konoha's market. Unfortunately, the market was in a more civilian-heavy area of the ninja village. While the horrendously hungry hog had not yet killed anyone, it had caused quite a bit of confusion in its chaotic consumption of comestible goods. Yet no ninja had been present to stop it in its ravenous rampage through the local food vendors.
“Hey!” yelled the Blue Ranger from the roof of a nearby building. “We're talking to you!”
The pig's only response was a series of snorts and what almost sounded like laughter. Finishing the cart, it smashed its way out the end and sprinted to the next food stand.
“I don't like being ignored,” snarled the Black Ranger.
“Let's see if we can't get its attention with our blade blasters,” suggest the Yellow Ranger.
“Right,” replied the others, drawing their blasters in a strangely synchronized motion. “2, 1, Fire!”
Laser fire rained down upon the monster pig, eliciting a squeal of pain despite impacting on the hog's humongous helmet. Snorting, Pudgy Pig spun back to its feet, now facing the rangers. With a laugh, it charged toward them, only to swerve into a nearby store at the last second.
“Ack!” yelped the Pink Ranger. “Follow it! Don't let it get away.”
The Power Rangers dropped down from the roof and began pursuing the pig.
“Bro!”
The call froze Negi in his tracks. He started to look for the source, but Sakura was quickly gaining distance from him. Negi started to run, only to be interrupted by a second, louder call.
“BRO! WAIT UP!”
Again, Negi froze in place. “Who's there?” This time, however, a small white stoat jumped into his path. “Chamo?”
“Down here, bro!” replied the stoat.
“Chamo!” Negi cried, grinning at the ermine. “How did- Why are- When did you get here?!”
“Just now,” the small mammal replied, returning Negi's grin. “It's been forever, huh?”
“Yeah!” exclaimed Negi. “What are you doing here?”
“An ermine can't just stop by to see how his bro is doing?” Chamo hopped up onto Negi's shoulder and pulled out a cigarette. “So, how's your training been going? Got a partner yet?”
Negi blushed. “Stop kidding around, Chamo. You know it's still way to early for me for that sort of thing.”
“Oh,” asked the ermine. “Well, if you haven't got one yet, I might-”
“There you are!” interrupted a voice from behind Negi. Turning, Negi spotted a quickly approaching Naruto. “What happened to Sakura?”
“Eh?” Negi looked around, suddenly remembering why he'd abandoned his D-Rank mission. “I don't know! I got distracted and she got away!”
“Sorry,” said Chamo, causing Negi to stiffen as the ermine failed to make even the slightest effort to pretend it couldn't talk in front of Naruto. “That's probably my fault. It's just that it's been so long since I last saw bro here that I had to stop by and say hi.”
Sakura skidded to a halt, then dove into a nearby shop. Only to immediately crash into a counter, then fall to the floor. Climbing back to her feet, she looked around. A pair of stools sat immediately in front of and behind her. She had missed crashing into them by sheer luck. On the other side of the counter was what appeared to be a kitchen. Was she in a restaurant of some sort?
It doesn't matter, she decided. What does matter is that I seem to have lost Negi and Naruto. And it looks like whatever this place is, it's either closed or empty. Which means it's morphin time!
Reaching behind her back, Sakura grabbed the power morpher attached to her belt. With a swift yank, she pulled it loose, then swung it around in front of her. “TYRANNOSAURUS!”
And in a flash of red light, Sakura vanished.
On the rooftop of a nearby building, Ryouga charged forward. He could see the Hokage Tower in the distance, so he knew he was still in Konoha. Unfortunately, he had no idea where he was in Konoha. He knew his genin team was supposed to be painting a house in a civilian residential area, but he wasn't actually sure where that was. He supposed he'd recognize it when he came across it.
Out of the corner of his eye, Ryouga spotted a red flash of light. However, when he looked back to search for it, he found nothing.
For a moment, he considered using the Hiraishin to teleport to his genin team. However, he decided against it. There wasn't any rush to get back to them, and the last few times he'd tried, he'd just ended up at a group of Naruto's clones on the outskirts of the village anyway. Speaking of which, he needed to have another talk with Naruto about using his shadow clones for nonessential reasons. Again.
Anyways, what were the odds of them screwing up something as simple as a D-Rank. Again. What were the odds of them screwing up a D-Rank again. After a moment, Ryouga began running through the seals for the Hiraishin technique.
As Chamo took a long drag from his cigarette, Negi turned and looked at the ermine in horror. Naruto just stared at him blankly. “Can't he just summon you whenever?”
“Wouldn't that be great,” replied the stoat, taking a puff on his cigarette. “But life just doesn't work like that. There's not an ermine contract. Not yet anyway.” Extending a paw, Chamo grinned at Naruto. “The name's Albert Chamomile, but bro here calls me Chamo.”
“Uh,” replied Naruto, before awkwardly taking the paw. “Uzumaki Naruto. ...If you're not a summon, how can you talk?”
“Like I said, there isn't an ermine contract yet. Emphasis on yet.” Chamo crossed his forelegs across his chest. “A conundrum I'm working on as we speak. It ain't fair that the hawks, toads, snakes, monkeys, dogs, salamanders, crows, sharks, spiders, owls, turtles, and weasels get one when we don't. Hell, even slugs have a summon contract.” Chamo paused to let out a puff of smoke. “So I'm on a quest to make one for ermines.”
Naruto nodded in understanding. “Makes sense. It really isn't fair that they all get one but ermines don't.”
Chamo grinned. Hook, line, and sinker. Now I can talk freely throughout the village without bro being punished.
Negi, on the other hand, stared at Chamo in wonder. “You're really trying to do that? I had no idea.”
Er, maybe I was a little too convincing. Nevertheless, Chamo gave Negi his best grin and nodded. “I certainly am. Didn't I tell you before?”
“Nope,” replied Negi.
“Oh. Well then. Hey bro, guess what? I'm trying to establish an Ermine Summoning Contract.” He then turned back to Naruto. “Anyways, bro here and me go way back. So when I saw him as I was passing through the village, I couldn't just not stop by to visit.” Turning back to Negi, Chamo gave him the most sincere looking smile he could muster. “But it looks like I'm holding you two up from something, so don't mind me. It's not like meeting up with an old friend is more important than chasing girls.” Negi looked distinctly guilty. Just one more push. Hopping down from Negi's shoulder, Chamo looked back at him and leered. “And at such a young age too. I'm proud of you, bro.”
Before Negi could cave in and decide to abandon chasing Sakura altogether in favor of hanging out with Chamo, the sound of an explosion shook the area. Naruto looked at Negi and point behind him. “That sounded like it came from that direction.” Not waiting for Negi's response, he began running toward the noise.
Bending down, Negi scooped up Chamo and dropped him onto his shoulder. “Come on, Chamo. Let's see what that was.”
“Yummy food, ahahahaha!” laughed Pudgy Pig, sticking his head out of a recently emptied dango shop.
“There he is!” shouted the Blue Ranger, pointing at the monster pig, who immediately spun around and fled back inside the shop.
“Quick, get him before he gets away again!” Not waiting for a response, the Pink Ranger jumped from the rooftop, bow at the ready, and launched an arrow at the rampant pig, only to miss and hit a nearby chair. “Crap!”
“I've got him!” cried the Black Ranger, charging inside with her axe drawn. And in the process, unintentionally blocking the Yellow Ranger's shot at the pig.
“Dammit, Ino!” Lowering her Blade Blaster, the Yellow Ranger swiftly rose back to her feet. Returning the projectile weapon to its holster, she drew her Power Daggers, waiting for the pig to come back out the front entrance. The sound of wood being smashed accompanied by an annoying laugh informed her that Pudgy Pig wouldn't be coming back through the entrance.
“How the heck is that thing so fast when it's got such stubby legs?” asked the Blue Ranger, charging into the store.
“Who cares! Just catch it!” replied the Pink Ranger, sprinting to catch up with the others as they left the shop through its new back exit.
Meanwhile, at the Command Center, Sakura watched as the viewing globe displayed Pudgy Pig bursting through the back wall of Anko's favorite dango. “As you can see, this pig has been wreaking utter havoc upon the stores and restaurants throughout Konoha,” said Zordon. “Unlike Rita's previous monsters, it seems to have no interest in fighting, and is doing everything in its power to avoid a direct confrontation with the other rangers.”
“So it's probably weak,” suggested Sakura.
“Perhaps,” replied Zordon neutrally. “However, due to its decision to focus on eating and causing property damage, I have been unable to determine the full extent of its abilities. At the very least, it seems to be relatively quick for one of Rita's monsters.”
“Don't worry, I'll handle it,” Sakura assured Zordon. “The other rangers are already after it. All I need to do is knock it off its feet to give them a moment to catch up.”
“Very well. I shall leave this in your hands, Sakura. Good luck, and may the power protect you.”
In a flash of red light, Sakura vanished from the Command Center.
“Wow! Looks like someone threw one heck of a party!” Chamo whistled as he took in the remains of Konoha's market. Almost all of it had been destroyed, although one random stand selling habanero peppers seemed to have been missed. “What do you think caused this, bro?”
“I'm not sure,” replied Negi. It was true, although he had his suspicions. He had to fight to keep the smile off his face. If I'm lucky, maybe I can see them up close again.
Naruto just stared. It didn't make sense. How could anyone be allowed to do this much damage in Konoha before being stopped? Why hadn't anyone gotten involved? Or had they, and this was just collateral damage from the battle?
Before Naruto had time to come up with any particularly convoluted theories, a flash of yellow disrupted his thoughts.
“Aha! There you are!”
Reflexively, Naruto tried to dispel, only to be reminded that he wasn't a shadow clone when nothing happened. “Uh... Hi, Ryouga.”
“Hello, sensei,” greeted Negi.
“Hello, Negi,” responded Ryouga, before turning back to Naruto, his frustration clearly displayed across his face. “So, what part of 'Stop using shadow clones outside of combat' did you not understand?”
“...Um...” replied Naruto intelligently.
“And playing cards? Really? Did you already forget what happened last week? Or do you really consider your mind such a worthless thing that you're willing to risk it just because you're bored?”
“Well...” started Naruto, before deciding that answering yes was probably a bad idea. So was answering no, for that matter. Claiming that having a few clones out all at once wasn't all that risky would reveal that he possessed knowledge he really shouldn't have any way of knowing (and had no way of proving). Explaining that the clones had actually been performing the leaf concentration exercise with cards instead of leaves wouldn't work either, as they had rather obviously started playing poker at some point. Actually, he couldn't think of any response that wouldn't result in more of his instructor's ire. Fortunately, he was saved from responding by the sound of wood being smashed. “What was that?!” he cried dramatically, pointing in the direction of the noise and just barely keeping the smile off his face as several loud bangs followed up the smashing noise.
Ryouga looked in the direction of the noise, then turned back to Naruto. “This isn't over,” he said, before turning and running to see what the cause of the noises was. In the wrong direction.
“Sensei, wait!” yelled Negi, taking off after the soon-to-be lost jounin.
Naruto let out a sigh of relief. Well, I probably should see what that was. Turning back toward where the sounds had actually come from, Naruto started running to investigate.
“SHANNARO!” With a shout, the Red Ranger materialized in front of Pudgy Pig, immediately lashing out with a haymaker. Caught completely off-guard, the punch struck him in the snout with such force that it launched him backwards, knocking him off his feet.
“Ow ow ow,” mumbled the pig, clutching his snout.
“Sa- I mean, Red Ranger!” exclaimed the Black Ranger.
“Quick, while he's still down! Everyone, surround him!” commanded the Yellow Ranger, drawing her Blade Blaster and opening fire on the downed pig monster.
“RIGHT!”
Immediately, the Blue and Pink rangers flipped over Pudgy Pig, drawing their own Blade Blasters. Meanwhile, the Black Ranger converted her Power Axe into its cannon mode.
“FIRE!” cried the Power Rangers as one, blasting away at the swine with their weapons (except the Red Ranger, who had been slightly slower on the uptake and was only now drawing her Blade Blaster).
“ARG!” cried the pig, as blaster fire rained onto him from four different directions. For a moment, it lay still on the ground, only to abruptly snort. “Fine,” growled Pudgy Pig, swiftly rolling back to its feet. “You want a fight? Let's fight.”
“How did it survive that?” asked the Black Ranger. “We hit it from all sides!”
“It's that huge helmet he's wearing!” exclaimed the Yellow Ranger. “It's covering most of his body! We need to hit him directly from the front!”
“On it,” replied the Red Ranger, already aiming her Blade Blaster, only to suddenly stumble forward as a sudden gust of wind pulled her toward the pig's open mouth. “What the-ARG!” As soon as she got within a few feet of the pig's open mouth, Pudgy Pig clamped down on her arm. “My arm!”
“Red!” cried the Pink Ranger, leaping toward pudgy pig, Blade Blaster extended into its sword mode. However, before either the Pink or Red Ranger had time to react, Pudgy Pig landed a sucker punch to the Red Ranger's exposed stomach, knocking her free in the process. Straight into the Pink Ranger, sending both of them crashing to the ground.
It was only afterwards that the Red Ranger realized she was now empty handed. “Ah! He ate my Blade Blaster!”
“What?!” yelped the Pink Ranger.
“Ahahahaha!” laughed the pig, as it lunged toward the two downed rangers.
Damn, thought the Blue Ranger, lowering his Blade Blaster. I can't line up a shot without hitting Pink and Red. The sound of blaster fire interrupted his thoughts, and the pig wailed in pain as it dropped to the ground, now clutching its leg. “Yellow!”
“Quick, before he has time to get back up! Everyone, use your power weapons!”
“YAH!” cried the Black Ranger, swinging her axe into Pudgy Pig's already injured leg.
“OW! MY LEG!” wailed the pig, rolling over onto its back. “Take this!” The pig let out a blast of air, launching the Black and Yellow rangers through a nearby noodle stand. “HA! How's tha-AAAAAUUUGH!”
Whatever Pudgy Pig had intended to say was interrupted via a Power Lance through his eye.
“MY EYE! YOU FU-AAAAGH!”
A similar interruption was made via the application of a Power Sword directly up his snout. And then another via a Blade Blaster in blade mode through his uninjured leg. For the next few moments, the Red, Black, and Pink rangers methodically tore apart the pig using their respective melee weapons. Finally, the rangers stopped. “...Okay, I think he's dead.”
The Pink Ranger experimentally stabbed the pig's remaining eye, eliciting no response. “Yeah, he seems pretty dead to me.”
“So,” said the Blue Ranger. “Want to go check on Yellow and Black?”
“Sure,” replied the Red Ranger. “Just give me a moment to get my Blade Blaster back.” Turning back to the pig's corpse, she raised her sword. A few seconds of hacking later, she triumphantly retrieved her weapon. “Okay, let's go.”
“Hey,” said the Pink Ranger. “Is anyone else wondering why Rita didn't revive this monster as a giant? She usually makes us fight them twice.”
“...Actually, that is kind of weird,” replied the Red Ranger.
“Now now, my queen,” said Finster. “It is important that you get your rest. How are you going to defeat the Power Rangers if you're too sick to even use your magic properly.”
“WAIT! I CAN STILL MAKE IT GROW! I CAN-” Rita's complaint was abruptly cut off as her body suddenly began purging her stomach of its contents.
“...I'll get Squat to clean that up later. For now, off to bed with you.”
“I REALLY HATE THOSE GUYS!” wailed Rita, despite being too weak to fend off the unneeded (in her opinion) care of her own minion.
“That...” said Negi from behind the building he had been spying on the Power Rangers' fight from, before trailing off.
Ryouga looked down at his student sympathetically. He knew that Negi looked up to the Power Rangers. To see them so brutally butcher an opponent in the middle of the market must have been rather disturbing for him. Ryouga raised his hand, unsure what to do. Almost without realizing what he was doing, he began to lower it toward Negi, preparing to pat him reassuringly on the head.
“THAT WAS AWESOME!” cried Negi, causing Ryouga's hand to freeze in midair. That had not been the response he had been expecting.
“Did you see that! The pig went and ate the Red Ranger's blade-shooter, and then the Pink Ranger went to save her, and the Yellow Ranger shot it in the foot, and it fell, and then it blew them into that building, and then they attacked it, and even though it could eat weapons, they killed it before it had time to get theirs! And then they beat it without using the Power Blaster, even though they were down two rangers! That was so cool! Wasn't it cool, Naruto!”
At Naruto's silence, Negi seemed to snap out of his excited state. “Naruto,” he asked, sounding slightly worried.
Naruto didn't respond. He was staring in horror at the destroyed remains of Ichiraku Ramen. Which, in addition to having bits of food scattered all over, now sported two human-sized holes through both the counter and the wall behind it. Also, a small fire seemed to be burning in the destroyed remains of the stove, which was now visible thanks to the holes through the counter in front of it.
“NOOOOOOOOOO!”
edited 14th Jul '13 11:24:10 PM by Hyp3rB14d3
No, not Ichiraku!
Rather than smart, I'd prefer to be wise. It would let me be silly more often.
Relativistic physicist
An excerpt from chapter two
of Tribe of the Ki Sorcerers. Though Ranma has been taken captive by the natives, he finds a clear path to the wood outside the village. However, this forest is not all that it seems...
Let's go upriver then. Ranma put the mountain on his right and moved on, wading into the trees once more. The key to finding your way around unfamiliar territory was to keep your eye on a fixed point of reference in the distance—whether that be a mountain in the daylight or the pole star at night. With only the mountain looming above the trees, Ranma used that to guide him. Odds were he wouldn't circle the mountain in the span of ten minutes, after all, so there would be no harm in keeping it firmly on his right. Logically, nothing of the sort could possibly happen!
So when Ranma found himself in another sparse clearing, he looked to his right, seeing the mountain there, and to the left, though the trees, where the village must've been, and frowned. The clearing was eerily silent. When he'd opened his eyes in that straw hut, the calls of birds had been melodic and incessant, yet in that clearing, there were no sounds of animals at all. Only the rustling of the wind disturbed the silence, and Ranma stood still for a moment, feeling the currents and eddies of the air as the wind whipped by him.
Something isn't right here.
There was a rustling in the woods. A twig snapped, and then nothing.
Ranma tensed up. Someone had found him? Ranma didn't stick around to find out. He dashed off for the far side of the clearing; better to get away than even to stand and fight. Taking the time to investigate and silence a potential threat would slow him down. Better to run. There were no points for defeating foes only to be captured in the end. So he ran, not looking back.
Only to end up right where he'd started again—the impossible clearing—except this time, there was someone else. The girl with the reddish-brown hair, the leader of the Sorcerer party, held her staff upright with one end. "You're wasting your time," she said, slowly and deliberately, thinking over every word before she said it. "Only a Sorcerer can navigate the Maze."
Ranma stomped past her. "This doesn't look like any kind of maze I've ever seen. And why do you speak Japanese, anyway? Is that standard in tribal curriculum after basket-weaving and psychic projection?"
The Captain narrowed her eyes. "Are you trying to be irritating?"
"Oh, you know, I tend to get pissed when people do certain things: when people don't clean up after themselves, when I ask for shrimp ramen takeout and get chicken instead, when I'm kidnapped by people I'd never heard of and hogtied. I'd think you would be pretty pissed off if those happened to you, too." Ranma cocked his head. "Or maybe you don't mind chicken ramen so much. You're not that twisted, are you? Because only truly heinous people like chicken ramen."
Sighing, the Captain tapped her staff on the ground. "Come with me. You have no chance of escaping the Maze."
"How's that? What if I beat you senseless? Does it stop?"
"No."
"And if I want to take my chances?"
The Captain tilted her staff at a nearby tree. "Look for yourself."
Puzzled, Ranma obliged her. He shimmied up the tree trunk into the canopy, but what awaited him there was a dizzying sight. The view of the his surroundings shifted every time he turned his head. First the mountain was behind him, then in front of him, then somewhere else entirely, but the one constant was an image in the distance. A girl far away clung to the top of a tree, staring into space. Ranma waved a hand at her, and she waved back, mirroring his movements. When he stopped, so did she.
Are you serious? A forest that wraps around so I can look at my own ass?
Not that it was unpleasant to look at. Indeed, it was at least as well-shaped as those of most girls he knew—but that was emphatically not the point!
edited 19th Jul '13 2:00:23 PM by Muphrid
Author of The Second Coming (NGE) and The Coin (Haruhi).
Naruto sat on the ground before the ruins of his favorite restaurant. His knees were curled to his chest and his arms were wrapped tightly around his legs as he slowly rocked back and forth. Negi was grabbing his shoulder and saying something, but he didn't know what. Ryouga was also nearby, or at least he had been when Naruto had last seen him, but was currently out of his line of sight. Naruto didn't care enough to check to make sure Ryouga hadn't wandered off, nor did he care enough to try to make sense of Negi's words.
Tears may have been streaming from Naruto's wide, unblinking, horror-filled eyes. At the moment he was too apathetic to check, let alone wipe them away if they were indeed there. He was vaguely aware that he was letting out sounds reminiscent to a tortured kitten, but again he didn't care enough to try to stop.
Ichiraku Ramen, Naruto's favorite place in the world, was ruined. Destroyed. It wasn't superficial damage. The impacts of the two rangers had taken out the stove, the counter, and a few bar stools. This was not something that could be fixed quickly. This was something that would require replacement equipment. Expensive replacement equipment. And as far as he knew, the Ichirakus couldn't afford to just shell out money to replace the counter, let alone buy a new stove. It would be a long, long time before Ichiraku Ramen was back to normal, if ever.
“Naruto!” cried a familiar voice, breaking through Naruto's horrified apathy. Or at least cracking it enough to get his attention, anyways. Naruto turned to face the man who had called him. “What's going on?!”
“Old man...” sobbed Naruto. “It's terrible!”
“What's terri-” Ichiraku Teuchi, the owner of Ichirakue Ramen, abruptly cut off, skidding to a stop as he laid eyes on his now destroyed restaurant. The man gasped, his eyes growing very, very wide. Only to suddenly drop to his knees, his hands raised toward the sky. “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
Twang!
An arrow streaked through the air, only to fall several feet short of its target.
“Dammit,” grumbled Kiba, drawing another arrow from his quiver. It had been all of an hour since the fight against Pudgy Pig. After the traditional celebratory group high-five at the Command Center, Kiba had found himself wandering around the training grounds at Konoha. He wasn't supposed to be there, what with not actually being a ninja, but he hadn't ever let the rules dictate his actions before, and he wasn't about to start now.
Besides, the Academy was closed right now.
Eventually he'd stumbled across the archery field. This had reminded him of his own rather lackluster skill with his bow. It wasn't his fault that he sucked with it. He was from a clan that specialized in close-range combat. That was what he had been trained in his entire life, and that was what he knew. And even if he hadn't been, bows were a really unusual weapon for ninja to use. Shuriken and kunai were the go-to ranged weapons at the academy, and most ninja continued using them for the rest of their duration as ninja.
So yeah, it was perfectly reasonable for him to not be very good with a bow. So it kind of sucked that it was his power weapon.
Kiba knocked another arrow.
It wasn't particularly fair. Everyone else had a weapon that was easy for them to use. Tenten had throwing daggers. Sakura had a sword. Ino had an axe. Even Yahiko could use his trident like a makeshift shinai when push came to shove. Which left him as the incompetent looking one whenever he tried to use his weapon.
He could always fall back on his blade blaster and hand-to-hand combat skills, something he tended to do quite often. However, there was only so much you could do to ignore your intended role in the team. Sakura, Ino, and Yahiko were clearly the close-range fighters. Tenten was mid-range. And he was supposed to be long-range support.
Another shot. Another miss.
It even reflected in the way the Power manifested itself when he morphed. He was faster than the other rangers, but lacked the pure power that the others had. Which made sense for a ranged specialist: he was supposed to move away from the combat and rain support fire onto the enemy. The added speed worked wonders with his taijutsu-style, but he just couldn't land anything solid enough to keep Rita's monsters down without resorting to his weapons.
And so he found himself in his current situation. Training with a weapon he wouldn't be caught dead using outside of combat as a ranger. It was humiliating enough that he was known as the Pink Ranger to the other rangers. There was no way he was going to be dropping any hints that could potentially cause his identity to be made public knowledge. So a smarter person probably wouldn't have been using the same distinctive white and pink bow that he used while morphed.
Thwip. Shunk.
A kunai streaked through the air, impaling itself several inches deep into a nearby hornet's nest. Before the wasps even had time to begin leaving the hive, the explosive tag attached to the weapon detonated, wiping all of the insect inhabitants of the hive out and setting fire to the tree it had been on.
“F@&#ers,” swore Anko, drawing another kunai from a small storage compartment hidden within her trench coat (more commonly known to the civilian populace as a “pocket”) and attaching another explosive tag. It had been all of 45 minutes since she had found her favorite dango shop trashed. After the traditional temper tantrum and loud death threats toward whoever had done this, Anko had found herself blasting things to pieces in Training Ground 44 while growling expletives under her breath. She was perfectly within her rights to be there, but really wasn't supposed to be taking her frustrations out on the forest in as damaging of a method as she was using. However, Anko hadn't ever let the rules dictate her actions before, and she wasn't about to start now.
Besides, she was pissed off.
Whoever had destroyed her favorite restaurant was a dead man. Or woman. Or summoned animal. Or monster. Or alien sorceress. Or whatever the hell whoever had done it was. Seriously, what the hell was she supposed to do to get dango now?
Eventually, Anko found that she was running out of explosive tags. Swearing, she place the kunai she had just drawn back into the small storage compartment hidden within her trench coat. If she was going to keep this up, she would have to return home and restock on explosive tags.
On her way back, Anko found herself crossing the archery field. Surprisingly, it wasn't abandoned at the moment. Instinctively withdrawing into the shadows, Anko approached the archer, apparently undetected.
Although “archer” may have been a little too generous. The person in question didn't seem to have very much experience with a bow. At all.
As she got closer, Anko recognized the markings on the face of the shooter. It was an Inuzuka. Probably a genin, if that, judging by the age.
...Wait a second. Anko stared at the boy's bow. That looks suspiciously familiar... Anko's face abruptly broke out into a malicious grin. Oh, this is just too good.
Silently, she left the archery field. She was going to have so much fun with this!
Kiba suddenly shivered. He didn't know why, but he suddenly had a really, really bad feeling.
Naruto had not been the only one absolutely crushed by the revelation of Ichiraku Ramen's destruction. When Ichiraku Teuchi, the (former) owner of Ichiraku Ramen arrived a few minutes later to see what Naruto's outburst had been about, only to discover his stand in ruins, he had had a surprisingly similar overblown reaction to Naruto. Ryouga was privy to this knowledge because he had been present for both people's loud, public wails of despair in reaction to discovering that Ichiraku Ramen had been destroyed. Naruto still refused to move from his spot in front of the ruins of Ichiraku. Teuchi briefly joined him, but Ayame dragged him off before more than a few minutes could pass, mentioning something about speaking with their insurance company.
Ryouga observed his student silently, unsure of what to do. He briefly considered offering to teach Naruto the Shishi Hokodan as an attempt to distract him from his misery by channeling it into something destructive, but quickly decided against it. Attempting to distract someone from their misery with a technique that required one to focus on their misery just didn't work. He would know. He had tried it. Several times.
Besides, he wasn't certain that handing a technique with such explosive power to someone as impulsive as Naruto was a good idea. Who knows what kind of property damage he could end up inflicting on a whim. Or in a tantrum.
Ryouga paused, realizing that he had been unconsciously carving his hiraishin mark into the asphalt with his hands again. Swiftly smashing it into an unrecognizable pile of rubble, he turned back to his students. Naruto still hadn't moved.
Neither, for that matter, had Negi. Ever since Naruto had dropped into the fetal position, Negi had been trying to rouse a response from his teammate. However, Naruto had been completely unresponsive. Nevertheless, Negi kept trying.
Ryouga, on the other hand, stayed back. He just wasn't familiar enough with Naruto to know how to help in this situation. All he really knew was that Naruto was slower, weaker, and less skilled than his teammates. And stupid. And was no longer permitted to use the one thing that he could do better than anyone else. And had recently suffered enough brain damage to cause him to forget who one of his teammates was. And had just had his favorite place in the world destroyed.
Ryouga paused. He wasn't familiar with Naruto, but he was familiar with depression. And now that he thought about it, Naruto seemed to have a lot of reasons to be unhappy at the moment.
Carefully turning to bring Naruto and Negi back into his line of sight, Ryouga walked up to the two of them. Grabbing both of them by their shirt collars, Ryouga hefted the two boys to their feet.
“Alright, enough of that,” he said, lowering the boys to the ground. Negi stood as soon as his feet touched the ground, but Naruto continued to hang limply. A scowl crossed Ryouga's face, and he began to shake him violently.
“Sensei!” cried Negi. “What are you doing!?”
Before Ryouga could respond, his shaking achieved the desired effect as Naruto suddenly seemed to regain his senses and began struggling to get loose. “There we go,” said Ryouga, dropping the boy to his feet.
“WHAT THE HELL WAS-” began Naruto, only to abruptly cut off as Ryouga stabbed a finger toward his face.
“Now that I've got your attention,” announced Ryouga, only to suddenly step backwards, withdrawing his finger from Naruto's face. With both his currently present students now in view, Ryouga started over. “Now that I've got your attention, I would like you to meet me tomorrow morning outside the Hokage Tower. And pack up enough clothing and equipment to last you a few days. We're going on a trip.”
Naruto looked confused. Negi looked panicked. Ryouga grinned the insane grin of a Nerimian martial artist. Sometimes, when misery seemed to be out to get you, and everything around you served only to remind you of your failures, the best thing to do was to just get away from it all until you were strong enough to face it again.
Random Kingdom Hearts / Ranma One Half crossover idea I had. I am unlikely to ever continue it.
And judging by their appearances, that's just what he would have called them. Aside from their bright yellow eyes, they were completely black. Most of his attacks didn't seem to faze them, often passing through them without any effect at all. Often, they even seemed to meld into the ground, only to rise back up at a different location. Were it not for the scratches they were leaving all over him and his clothing, he'd pass them off as immaterial hallucinations. But at the very least, the claws of these creatures were solid. Solid enough to hurt him despite his Bakusai Tenketsu hardened flesh. And these things were everywhere.
He didn't know what he'd done to draw the attention of this horde of tiny, shadowy monsters, but since they first began attacking him, more and more kept showing up. And unfortunately for him, he'd decided to try to fend them off instead of just running.
At this point, there were far too many of them to count, and they weren't giving him a chance to break free and escape. It was utterly hopeless. He was going to die, and there was nothing he could do about it.
“SHISHI HOKODAN!”
The blast washed over them. Unlike his more physical attacks, the ki blast actually seemed to do some damage, sending several of the creatures flying. More importantly, it cleared a path for him to escape.
One that quickly closed, as dozens more of the things rose from the ground. “NO!” Ryouga cried, immediately crossing his arms before his chest for a second time. “SHISHI HOKODAN!”
Not even waiting for the ki blast to fade from sight, Ryouga immediately took off down the path he'd cleared. He made it all of half a dozen steps before he felt claws sink into his leg. With a yelp of pain, Ryouga stumbled, but managed to keep running. But it wasn't enough. More and more of the shadow-things began landing on him, and soon it was like he'd never made the attempt to escape from the mob in the first place.
Was this how it was going to end? Swarmed to death by a bunch of shadow monsters somewhere in France? (He was actually in Tokyo, Japan.) No! There was still so much to do! He still had to cure himself of his curse! He still had to marry Akari! He still had to beat Ranma in a fight! Ryouga felt his despair claw its way to the center of his mind, and he put it to use.
A pillar of ki lanced its way into the sky.
Ranma didn't know what these shadow-things were. He'd been on his way back to the dojo after an Akane-airlines flight to the far end of the city when they'd just started showing up out of nowhere and attacking people. He'd tried to fend off the ones that had gone after him, but had quickly realized that physical attacks had no effect on them. Wrapping himself in his battle aura allowed him to at least touch them, but they still didn't seem to take any damage. His Moko Takabisha worked better, but there were just too many of the things to try to finish them all off with ki blasts. He'd be completely exhausted in minutes. The creatures didn't seem to produce ki, so the Hiryu Shouten Ha was out. Fortunately, the Saotome Anything Goes style was nothing if not adaptable. And Ranma had just the technique in mind to get him out of this.
“SAOTOME FINAL TECHNIQUE!” Ranma yelled. And then he booked it.
Fortunately, most of the creatures didn't seem too interested in him, instead going after people that were less troublesome to take down. And those that went after him quickly found themselves swatted away or unable to keep up with him.
I have to get back to the dojo, thought Ranma, looking at the storm clouds covering the sky. If I'm having trouble with these things, Aka... Pop and the Tendos will need all the help they can get! Hurricane force winds battered the boy as he leapt from roof to roof, making his way toward Nerima as quickly as he could. Despite his efforts, even the weather seemed to be doing everything in its power to slow him down. Just then, Ranma found his attention drawn to a massive green pillar of light.
Ryouga? Ranma immediately changed direction toward where the light had come from. Hopefully the lost idiot would be able to help him with whatever the hell was going on. Or at least explain what the hell he'd done to cause all this.
That all the little shadow-things abruptly started heading in that direction as well did not escape Ranma's notice.
Ryouga swore. There were just too many of the damn things. Even a Perfect Shishi Hokodan wasn't enough to get rid of all of them. And more kept coming.
He kept launching Shishi Hokodans. It was getting easier and easier. That the swarm was just getting bigger and bigger in spite of his efforts was more than enough to supply the despair the attack needed.
But soon enough, he felt himself running dry. All the despair in the world wouldn't be enough to power the attack if he didn't have any ki left. And yet the things just kept coming.
Ryouga knew he was going to die. At this point, it wasn't just something he was telling himself to power his ki attack. It was something he knew. But if nothing else, he was going to go down fighting.
And then Ryouga felt a weight in his right hand. And with it, Ryouga felt the power he'd desperately needed returning to him. Ryouga looked down at the power source he now felt within his grasp. And saw a big, stupid looking key. “What the f-”
Ryouga's words were cut off several dozen heartless abruptly dog-piled him.
Ranma slowed as he saw what seemed to be a writhing ocean of blackness, interspersed with hundreds of pairs of glowing yellow spots. At first, that was all he could see. But he could hear grunts of frustration and effort, and every once in a while, he would see blasts of light. And all of a sudden, he caught a glimpse of Ryouga.
Ranma swore. As soon as he'd lain eyes on the swarm, he'd known Ryouga was in the middle of it, but now he actually had visual confirmation. For a moment, he considered just going back to the dojo and trying to keep Aka- Pop and the Tendos safe on his own. But he still didn't know what was going on, and Ryouga seemed to be the cause of everything (or at least involved in it), so the best chance of fixing things was getting a hold of the lost moron. With a grunt of frustration, Ranma leapt into the horde.
Strangely, the shadow-things all seemed to be ignoring him, instead focusing on trying to get to the center of the swarm. To Ryouga. Which was good (for Ranma), since there was no way he'd be able to handle that many of them at once.
Suddenly, there was a cry of agony from the center of the swarm. Ranma stiffened in surprise, then redoubled his effort to get to the center. Which became alarmingly easy, as the numerous shadow-things began slipping into the ground and leaving the area.
“Crap crap crap crap CRAP!” As Ranma suddenly found his way unbarred and the ground looking like someone had spray painted the whole thing pitch black, he ran forward. But no matter where he looked, Ryouga was gone, and soon the blackness began withdrawing from the ground, leaving only cracked and destroyed asphalt, rock, and dirt.
“RYOUGA!” shouted Ranma. Nobody answered. Nearby lay the destroyed remains of his rival's pack. Ranma bent down, picking up a tattered bandanna from the ground. For several seconds, he held it in silence. A crack of thunder accentuated the dreariness of the scene. Rain began to fall, transforming Ranma into a girl.
Unnoticed by Ranma, a massive, pig-like shadowy beast rose from the ground behind him. Only to suddenly transform into a much, much smaller pig-like shadowy beast as it came into contact with the rain. Silently, it slipped back into the ground.
...I need to get to the dojo, Ranma resolved. Turning, she took a step, only to immediately slip on something. Crashing to the ground, Ranma immediately sat back up, rubbing her knee. “What the heck?!” Next to her sat a giant key.
Ranma picked it up. “What the heck is-”
Ranma's words were cut off as a heartless tackled her from behind.
From there, the plan was that Ranma would manage to fight her way back to the Tendo Dojo just in time to see the world get taken by darkness, then wake up in Traverse Town. From there, Ranma would end up joining a group consisting of other anime/manga characters that had lost their home-worlds that were looking for their friends and family. I hadn't settled on who it was going to be yet. Meanwhile, Ryouga's heartless would stalk Ranma throughout the rest of the fic, and Ryouga's Nobody would be approached by an anime villain take on Organization XIII.
But again, the rest of this story isn't going to be written out unless I finish ...Wait, Did That Happen Before? or get sick of it. Or if someone else decides to pick it up, I guess.
Relativistic physicist
An excerpt from chapter three of Tribe of the Ki Sorcerers. The Sorcerers have prepared a caravan to go to Jusenkyo and make that their base of operations, but their ancient enemy, the so-called Riverfolk, spy on them from outside their village. These Riverfolk are just as dangerous to the Sorcerers as they are to Ranma, but it appears they are more familiar than they seem...
Great, just what I need—a migraine headache when we're about to hike to Jusenkyo.
Despite Ranma's condition, the Sorcerers took no chances, keeping him chained up and surrounded by a group of four Guardsmen. The caravan met on the tower grounds by the base of the waterfall. All told, there were around thirty Sorcerers of the Guard, six priests, and fifteen channelers—who were kept far, far away from Ranma. Wuya called this group just the first wave, at that. More Guardsmen would be sent to Jusenkyo to prepare, with food and supplies to last until the Sorcerers went to war. For the moment, however, the party would pursue its first goal—to draw out the mysterious Riverfolk, wherever they were hiding.
These Riverfolk might be my best shot, thought Ranma, wincing even to concentrate that much. An enemy of the Sorcerers is a friend of mine. Hopefully these Riverfolk don't think I'm in league with Sindoor. It's not like I have a record of making friends with Chinese tribes, after all.
The Sorcerer party set out just after dawn. The channelers took the lead in the group, and as part of the Sorcerers' deception, they'd dressed the channelers to look like Guardsmen, complete with black tunics and battle staves. Sure, anyone with a keen, discriminating eye could tell them apart from the real warriors—just the way they carried themselves was off, and they walked with linked hands. Still, Ranma thought it an ingenious move not to paint a target on their backs, like the priests had with their conspicuous green cloaks.
After about half an hour of hiking—it felt like days to Ranma's foggy mind, but he knew it couldn't have been that long—Captain Wuya moved up from the middle of the caravan, making contact with the head channeler, and even from a distance, Ranma's hyper-sensitive hearing picked up on the sequence of tones the channelers hummed, forming a resonant major chord. Though his eyes stung and ached, Ranma glanced about the forest, trying to catch sight of these Riverfolk. At some point, these tribal people would have to figure out they'd been trapped, and either they'd surrender—not likely—or they'd fight back. If Ranma knew where they were coming from, at least he could get out of the line of fire.
Thud! An arrow struck one of Ranma's guards in the chest, and the man keeled over into the arms of his companions, dragging Ranma off his feet as the shackle chains pulled taut.
Oh hell. Here we go!
Splayed out on his back, Ranma fought the throbbing pain in his head, trying to get upright, but he was tangled in shackles and chains. There was shouting—painful shouting that made his ears ache. The Riverfolk attacked from the east, using the rising sun to attack from the shelter of its light. They took cover behind trees, firing arrows into the unprotected caravan. The Captain raised her golden shell of ki, protecting the channelers at the front; for the rest of them, the priests ran for cover, and the Sorcerers of the Guard fought back with a slew of elemental powers. Lightning bolts shattered tree trunks where the Riverfolk archers shot from, and the earth itself moved, forming a colossal landslide to bury them.
Yet still, despite the unholy levels of destruction the Sorcerers brought upon them, the Riverfolk persisted. They even dared to stand toe-to-toe against the Guard. A girl with a pair of massive steel balls on a rope—a meteor hammer—charged into the caravan, dazzling the Sorcerers with awesome combination strikes. She threw one of the spheres as a projectile weapon, collecting it thanks to the tension in her rope. Then, she swung both balls overhead, swinging them down with deadly force. She crushed or beat three Sorcerers before the lot of them had a chance to catch up to her. A high-powered gust of wind blew out Ranma's ears and shot the girl with the meteor hammer away like a human cannonball.
But she wasn't the only one. An intrepid archer watched her back as she fell. Daring to step into close range, he ran from tree to tree for cover, zipping arrows into the fray. An arrow found another of Ranma's guards, giving him the dead weight of two men to fight against, and a second shot whizzed past Ranma's head, grazing the end of his pigtail.
Oh great, they're trying to kill me, too!
And despite the pounding in his head, Ranma wasn't going to let even a migraine headache get him killed. He kicked and yanked at his shackles, bringing the rest of his guards down. With his bare hands, he twisted the chain links, and the metal sheared, snapping off. Grabbing two of the broken chains, he spun on his feet, picking the wounded Sorcerers up off the ground. He hurled the bodies at the archer, shattering two trees with the force of the blows.
The Riverfolk archer shielded his eyes from the flying debris, and that gave Ranma a chance. He pounced on the archer, and with the iron shackles around his wrists, he punched and bashed at the man's face. "If you want to kill me, you'll have to try harder than that!" he cried.
"Stop!" The archer vainly tried to cover his face, refusing to resist. "Stop, please!"
Why? Just because he could speak Japanese? "Give me a reason!" shouted Ranma.
"Because we're trying to save you, Saotome Ranma!"
Ranma stayed his hand for a moment, taking the archer by his collar instead. "Why would some Riverfolk people I've never heard of want to save me? Why would they even know my name?"
"Riverfolk?" echoed the archer. "That's not what we call ourselves. We're Amazons."
Amazons? Shampoo's people? Of course, how could he not see it before? The archer's outfit was almost a carbon copy of Mousse's usual attire. And here he'd bruised and scratched up this Amazon archer for nothing.
"How do we break through their illusion?" asked the archer. "Do you know? We can't escape otherwise!"
The secret was the channelers, which the Captain had well protected. Ranma looked over the scene of the battle. The girl with the meteor hammer had been cornered, surrounded by half a dozen Sorcerers. Further off, Amazons struggled to climb out of the torrent of earth and dirt that had overwhelmed them.
"It's too late," muttered Ranma. "You're not getting out of here, either. Whatever else you tell them, you don't know anything about Saffron, or if you do know something, he's still alive. You got me?"
The archer nodded.
"Good. Sorry about this." Ranma slugged the archer once more for good measure, just as a set of Guardsmen came up from the middle of the caravan and pulled Ranma away. The archer struggled—a token gesture of resistance—but the Sorcerers got the Riverfolk prisoners they wanted. Ranma just had to hope the Amazons could hold their tongues.
“Hu... You sure they can handle this?” asked Jiraiya.
“Of course they can,” replied Ryouga, trying to project as much confident into the statement as possible. “They're my students.” In truth, Ryouga was very much concerned over whether his team could handle it. But the only way for one to grow was to test one's limits. And he really needed an excuse to get his team out of the village if he wanted to train them without half the village learning his techniques. Certain members of his team didn't seem to understand the meaning of discretion.
Plus, it would help keep Naruto's mind off of all the things he had to be depressed about lately. Probably.
“Anyways, it's just a C-Rank mission. How badly could they possibly screw it up?”
“I seem to recall a certain horribly botched D-Rank involving them happening not too long ago,” Jiraiya jibed.
“That doesn't count!” defended Ryouga. “That mission had outside interference! Plus I got lost!”
“Oh, and that can't possibly happen here,” sarcastically retorted the Hokage. A fact Ryouga was having an increasingly difficult time remembering.
“Hmph,” snorted Ryouga. “If it comes down to it, I'll handle the mission myself.”
“Well on the plus side, it'll be hard to botch it as badly as that D-Rank.” Ryouga suppressed a growl. Sometimes, he felt like he was dealing with Ranma all over again. Except Jiraiya was the Hokage, so responding by beating him up would probably end with him in a prison cell. Or a hospital bed. The man was the Hokage for a reason.
“Look, are you going to sign the thing or not?” demanded Ryouga.
“Fine, fine,” replied Jiraiya, not even trying to hide his amused smirk as he pulled a large stamp from his kimono. “But if it goes bad, it's on your head.”
“It's just a C-Rank!”
Despite his frustration from dealing with Jiraiya, when Ryouga finally left the Hokage Tower, he did so with a grin on his face. Inside his backpack was a scroll for his team's next mission. He'd already read the details of it, and while it wasn't anything to write home about, it would get them out of the village for a while. Which, incidentally, was why he'd picked it to begin with. Besides, after doing D-Rank missions for so long, it would probably seem like the best thing in the world to his team. All that was left was to grab some extra supplies and meet his team.
And he had all night left to do so. There was nothing on his plate until the next morning, and ten hours was plenty of time to find a store to get supplies from. Probably.
And even if it wasn't enough time, he had plenty of experience camping out without any supplies at all. Besides, the mission was going to be taking place at a nearby town. So it wasn't like they weren't going to have a chance to get supplies for a training trip, even if he couldn't find a store. Yeah, everything was going to be fine. So why did he feel like he was forgetting something?
It took all of 8 minutes after waking up for Kiba to realize he'd overslept. It took all of 2 minutes for him to get dressed and rush his way out the door, ignoring the strange look he got from his sister Hana.
He was supposed to have met up with the other Power Rangers (and Lee) for some early morning training nearly fifteen minutes ago. So he booked it all the way to the training ground they were supposed to meet at. There weren't many people out at this time of day, but for some reason, most of the ones that were out either snickered or looked surprised as he passed them. It made him feel like he was being made the butt of a joke he wasn't aware of. And that kind of pissed him off.
Oh well. If the other assholes around the village wanted to make fun of him for not making it all the way to genin, let them. He'd remember it when he eventually became Hokage. Although, he silently noted to himself, I should probably find out just what it is they're saying about me. Ino will know. Probably. And if she doesn't already, she'll look into it as soon as I ask her to.
By the time he finally made it to the clearing, everyone had already started training. Tenten was throwing various weapons at Yahiko, who was running around trying to deflect everything she threw at him with a bamboo sword. Sakura was sparring with Ino. Lee seemed to be overseeing the whole thing while balancing upside down on one hand and attempting to scrawl notes on a notepad he had clenched between his chin and his chest with the other. So, a typical training session for them.
What wasn't typical was the way everyone froze in place as he finally showed up (except Tenten, who nailed Yahiko in the forehead with a hatchet. Thank goodness for forehead protectors).
“...Hey, guys,” said Kiba, grinning nervously. Something was obviously wrong.
“That's an... interesting look for you, Kiba,” commented Ino, finally breaking the stunned silence.
“It is a most unusual fashion decision,” added Lee, climbing back to his feet.
Kiba immediately looked down. His clothes weren't on backwards. He hadn't forgotten his pants. His fly wasn't down. His shoes were on the right feet. Wait... His hands flew up to his head. Nope, Naruto hadn't shaved his head again.
“And he doesn't know what's going on,” stated Yahiko flatly, as he held his forehead protector in place while Tenten attempted to pull the hatchet out of it.
“I don't know what's going on about... What going-ons are...” Kiba paused to try to configure his words into a functional sentence. “What is it that is going on that I do not know about?” Kiba finally asked.
“Well, I think it works,” said Sakura, ignoring the question.
“You would,” replied Ino.
“Oh? Something wrong with pink?”
“Yosh,” shouted Lee. “We wholeheartedly support your youthful decision not to be bound by what is typically considered acceptable fashion for members of the Inuzuka clan.”
“Guys, would you just tell me what's going on?” demanded Kiba, becoming increasingly annoyed by the situation.
“I take it,” grunted Tenten, before she finally wrenched the hatchet free of Yahiko's forehead protector, “that you weren't in on the decision to dye your hair pink, then?”
“WHAT?” Kiba immediately yanked a kunai out of his weapons pouch, checking his reflection in the metal. Raising his hands to the sky, Kiba made his wrath known to the world. “DAMN YOU, NARUTO!”
From her perch in a nearby tree, Anko snickered.
From outside the Hokage Tower, Naruto felt a chill run down his spine. Shivering, he turned to his teammate. “Hey Negi, did you just get the feeling that something bad is about to happen?”
“Not really,” replied Negi.
“Oh,” replied Naruto. “I guess it's just me, then.”
Before Negi had time to ask what Naruto was talking about, a flash of light from somewhere behind him suddenly caught the attention of the two genin. “Alright, who's ready to finally go on- Where's Sakura?”
“Huh?” asked Naruto. “Is she supposed to be here too?”
“What do you mean- Aw crap, I forgot to tell her about what's going on. One moment.” Ryouga started running through handseals.
“What exactly is going on?” asked Negi. “You didn't tell us anything other than to meet you here.”
“I'll tell you once you're all here,” replied Ryouga. “No sense wasting time since I'll be right back with her anyway.” Several seconds of awkward silence went by as Ryouga continued to run through a really long string of handseals. “...Okay. This is going to take a bit anyways, so there's no real point in standing here in silence while I do the handseals for this technique. Here's what's going on. Last night, Naruto seemed really upset. So I did some thinking. And I realized that you've got a lot to be upset over lately, and not a lot to be happy about. So I decided to do something to surprise you, and hopefully improve your mood. Today, we, Team Five, are finally going to be doing our first- Oh wait, I'm done. Nevermind!” Ryouga suddenly vanished in a flash of light.
“...There's no way that wasn't on purpose,” said Naruto.
Kiba's loud, angry rant on what he was going to do to Naruto the next time he saw him was suddenly interrupted by a flash of light from behind Sakura. Yelping in surprise, the pink haired girl spun around, launching a backhand strike at the man suddenly standing behind her.
Catching her hand in his palm, Ryouga looked down at the girl. “Sakura, we're going on our first C-Rank mission. Meet us at the south gate in an hour. And bring enough supplies to last for a few days.” Immediately, Ryouga began running through the handseals for the Hiraishin technique.
“Wait, what?” asked Sakura. “Isn't this kind of short notice?”
“Sorry,” replied Ryouga with a slight cringe. “I meant to tell you yesterday, but I forgot.” At her look of anger, he quickly spread the blame. “And it looks like Negi and Naruto didn't tell you either.” Some bad habits died hard.
“They're not my jounin-sensei,” Sakura replied flatly.
“No, they aren't,” admitted Ryouga. “I'm sorry.” An awkward silence filled the area. Well, awkward for Ryouga. For Sakura, it was just an annoyed silence.
“So, what's the mission?”
“Well,” said Ryouga, “I'll tell you later, bye!” A second flash of light heralded his disappearance.
Sakura groaned. This was not a good precedent for her first C-Rank mission. Oh well. At least it can't possibly go as badly as our first D-Rank. Wait a second! Turning back to the rest of the group, Sakura made sure that the other Power Rangers were all still paying attention to her. Which, fortunately, they were. Casually, she tapped her communicator, the unspoken signal between her and the other Power Rangers to ditch whoever might be listening. “Sorry guys, but it looks like I've got to go get ready for my mission.”
“I'll help you,” said Ino, quickly following Sakura as she left the training ground.
“A C-Rank mission?!” whined Yahiko. “That's not fair! I'm going to find my jounin sensei and get him to take my team on one!” And Yahiko stomped out of the training ground.
“And there goes my target,” said Tenten. “Looks like I'm done for the day, too.” And Tenten left.
“Wait, Naruto is on Sakura's team,” said Kiba, having just realized this. “I need to go kill him before he leaves the village!” And so he rushed off as well.
Lee looked at the now deserted training ground. “What just happened?”
By the time Ryouga finally reappeared, Naruto had been quickly approaching the end of his patience. Which, considering that he remembered being on a team with Kakashi, was unusually short. Must have had something to do with his favorite restaurant being destroyed, suffering memory loss, being forbidden from using shadow clones, failing a D-Rank mission, and his attempt to time travel failing so horribly that he wiped Sasuke from existence, all of which happened within the course of a week.
However, when he heard from Ryouga that they were finally going on a C-Rank mission, all was good again. And Negi had been even more excited than him. So much so that neither of them thought twice (or even once, really) about letting Ryouga lead them to the village gate to wait for Sakura. And amazingly enough, they actually made it there without leaving the village once.
Shortly after leaving the training ground, everyone met back up at the Command Center. As soon as the last ranger arrived, Sakura turned to Zordon. “Zordon, my jounin-sensei says that I'm going to be out of the village for a few days. I'm not sure if I'll be able to slip away to join any fights if Rita attacks.” Sakura turned back toward the other Power Rangers. “Do you think you can handle it without me while I'm gone?”
Yahiko scoffed. “That's it? I thought this was about something important.”
Ino elbowed him. “This is important, stupid. If Rita ever beats us, the village would be next.”
“Don't worry,” said Tenten. “Even if we're down a ranger, we can handle anything Rita throws at us.”
“But the Power Blaster-” started Kiba.
“Wasn't needed to take down that last one,” interrupted Yahiko.
“The situation may be more dire than you believe,” declared Zordon. “Without Sakura, not only will the Power Blaster become impossible to use, but the Tyrannosaurus Zord will not have a pilot. And while it does have an autopilot, it won't be able to fight on its own. Should Rita attack with a giant monster, you will need to form the Megazord immediately. Otherwise, the Tyrannosaurus Zord may be destroyed.”
“We usually do that anyway,” said Ino, “but we'll keep that in mind.”
“Furthermore, you will be missing a member of your team. Monsters that would normally be difficult to defeat may prove outright impossible. In the event that Rita discovers this, she may attempt to take advantage of it. You must be on your guard.”
“Zordon, what if Sakura were to give her power morpher to someone else?” asked Tenten. “Temporarily!” she quickly added, upon seeing Sakura's outraged look. “Just to cover for her until she got back!”
“Perhaps,” admitted Zordon. “But it would have to be someone who could be trusted.”
Lee, thought all the rangers at once.
“Someone skilled in combat,” Zordon added.
Definitely Lee.
“Someone who would be able to keep their role as a Power Ranger secret.”
Not Lee, thought everyone present.
“I think I'll just hold on to my morpher for the time being,” said Sakura with a slightly forced smile.
“Don't worry,” said Kiba. “We can handle Rita with just four rangers for a few days. Besides, if we can't handle one of us being gone for a few days, how are we supposed to handle it when the rest of you start going on C-Rank missions as well?”
Zordon definitely did not break eye-contact and whistle 'innocently.'
“Or when we start making Chuunin and are gone all the time?” added Tenten.
Zordon continued to not break eye-contact and whistle 'innocently.'
“One day, we're going to make jounin,” announced Tenten. “And when that happens, we're probably going to need to be able to handle Rita's monsters one-on-one. Just think of this as the first of many tests of the Power Rangers.”
Zordon couldn't help it. He looked away and started whistling nervously. Nobody noticed anything strange about it.
Deep within her underground lair, the evil intergalactic space witch Rita Repulsa rubbed her thumb across a Power Coin thoughtfully. A power coin embedded with a picture of a dragon.
The Green Ranger. It was her ace in the hole, her secret weapon to use against the Power Rangers. Aside from Cyclopsis, she had no better weapon to wield against them. And unlike Cyclopsis, she would be able to use the coin at a whim.
The trick was finding the right time to strike. If she struck while the Power Rangers were at full strength, there was a good chance that her ranger would be overwhelmed, by sheer numbers if nothing else. But if she waited until the time was right, she just might be able to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat.
Since her most recent loss, Rita had been growing impatient. It was why she had been watching the Power Rangers carefully through her crystal ball. As such, she was very much aware of Sakura's impending absence. But would being down one ranger be a sufficient advantage for her to win?
Rita continued to contemplate her next move.
An hour and a half later, Sakura finally met up with Team Five. At the west gate. After heading down to the south gate that they were supposed to have met Sakura at, Team Five finally headed out on their first C-Rank mission.
Roughly fifteen minutes later, the group passed an old man walking down the road in the opposite direction. Most of them ignored him, but for some reason Naruto's eyes widened, as if in recognition. Slowly, he followed the figure with his eyes. And Naruto choked back a sob as Team Five passed Tazuna on his way to Konoha while they were on their way out of it.
The Cosmopolitan Fictioneer
Sailor Ranko counts as fanfiction, right? Because the comic has had a few of its older pages updated to the new art style.
Sailor Ranko actually is a fanfic that is being converted into a comic.
Oh. That explains why I always thought Sailor Ranko is a written fanfic.
Rather than smart, I'd prefer to be wise. It would let me be silly more often.
Top Ten Martial Arts Ranma Really, Really Should Have Been Shown Learning, No Joke.
9. Martial Arts Opera.
8. Martial Arts Cartooning.
7. Martial Arts Sleuthing.
6. Martial Arts Origami.
5. Martial Arts Computer Programming.
4. Martial Arts News Reporting.
3. Martial Arts Surfing.
2. Martial Arts Politics.
1. Martial Arts Stand Up Comedy.
Relativistic physicist
I've got a lingering idea for a Martial Arts Origami fic. It started off as a miko coming after Genma and Ranma for stealing an enchanted origami from her shrine and everyone mistaking her for a new fiancee. Not sure what to do with it, though.
Author of The Second Coming (NGE) and The Coin (Haruhi).
Random.
After Kasumi's death, Father had gone from an occasionally pathetic neurotic wreck to completely pathetic neurotic and traumatized wreck. He never forgave himself, and he reduced himself to pretty much a lamenting shadow dragging his feet around the house. Nabiki, unlike Akane, never tried to talk him out of it or make him feel better. Nabiki had too many other, far better, things to do now.
Nabiki had to handle the money, something that had seemed so easy when Kasumi was the one doing it. After a lot of trial and error and error and error, she had badly learned her usual strategies of cutting corners on anything she thought others could cover for her to focus on what she wanted to buy just wouldn't work anymore. Even conning others only made her to more or less come even at the end of each month, until she got the trick of running a household.
That had been the easy part, because Nabiki was good with money.
Raising Akane was the difficult part.
Before, Nabiki had never seen much of an use on Akane. Unlike Kasumi and Dad and Mom, she couldn't do anything for Nabiki. More than once, she felt tempted to just do something about the complaining extra mouth to feed. Giving her for adoption, finding some distant relatives to dump her onto, dumping her at a side of the road during a vacation (this plan fell apart pretty quick when Nabiki realized they had no car and she couldn't drive anyway. And driving lessons costed money she didn't have. Yet). She even considered selling her to Kuno, but even Nabiki was not THAT evil.
It was difficult for Nabiki herself to pinpoint the time when she had actually kind of started caring about Akane. It was even harder for her to figure out WHY. Maybe it had been because of guilt, because Kasumi would have liked it that way. Maybe Nabiki just needed something to reaffirm herself as a human being, although that had to be a ridiculous idea. Maybe it was because Akane finally was starting to grow breasts, and thus Nabiki finally could sell pictures of her without too much fear of being jailed.
In any case, it had to be before Genma arrived, dragging that boy-girl ith himself, and all but forcing a marriage commitment on either of the girls. Soun had been, as expected, unable to do anything but babbling a feeble agreement and sobbing on how Kasumi would have been the perfect wife, because she had been such a good homemaker, and nice and kind, and warm and loving, and—
"I'll do it," Nabiki spoke without any emotion to her voice, startling the boy-girl and Akane herself.
On the other hand, thinking back about it, odds were she hadn't done it to protect Akane, to save her from a life of marital unhappiness with a freak.
Maybe it had just been to finally prove she could be better than Kasumi.
Yes. That made far more sense.
edited 29th Aug '13 11:03:15 AM by NapoleonDeCheese
The Cosmopolitan Fictioneer
I don't think "never forgot himself" is what you intended to write.
Fiat iustitia, et pereat mundus.
@ NDC, "Top Ten Martial Arts..."
6. Martial Arts Origami. Konan
◊
7. Martial Arts Sleuthing. Conan
◊
4. Martial Arts News Reporting. Canon
◊
9. Martial Arts Opera. Cannon
◊
5. Martial Arts Computer Programming. Anon
◊
3. Martial Arts Surfing. Aaron
◊
8. Martial Arts Cartooning. Aggron
◊
Dunno how to pun the rest.
Rather than smart, I'd prefer to be wise. It would let me be silly more often.
Fandom Heretic
Checking the "Fanfiction" section today, I was sure that Hyperblade's fanfic updated. Since there were posts in Negima, Naruto and Ranma threads. By the way, Hyper, what are your plans for next few chapters?
Rather than smart, I'd prefer to be wise. It would let me be silly more often.
Sorry. The next chapter hasn't been coming out quite as smoothly as they have been lately. I'll try to have it up by Tuesday, but no promises. It should be the start of a Ranma One Half-style training trip, although there will be a C-Rank mission that happens in there at some point, and the Wave Arc will be happening with a different team in the background (I may or may not actually explain in detail what happened later, but plan on leaving the reader in the dark initially).
Also, I'm going to set up the Green With Evil storyline. It's not the one with the most votes anymore, so it's not going to be the next one, but I was already preparing for it.
I'm not complaining about the update times (that would be hypocritical), just inquiring about the plot.
Wait, there's a voting?
Rather than smart, I'd prefer to be wise. It would let me be silly more often.
Wait, Did That Happen Before
chapter 25
When Negi and Sakura finally made it to the hospital, they were shocked to find that Naruto had actually been checked in. Apparently, not only had Ryouga actually made it to the hospital, he had beaten them there. After getting Naruto's room number from a nurse, the two rushed to the room of their teammate.
When they arrived, they found Naruto still unconscious on a bed. And only Naruto. Ryouga was nowhere to be found. Which, while frustrating, was almost expected at this point. Which is too bad, thought Sakura. I've got some words for our streaking sensei. Like 'WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING NAKED IN ICHIRAKU RAMEN DURING THE LUNCH RUSH!?' Unfortunately, said streaking sensei was missing, Naruto was still unconscious, and Negi was too focused on Naruto to be in any condition to respond to her advances. For the time being, she would have to wait for the situation to change. Well, I suppose I could just leave, but that might alienate me with Negi. I should at least find out Naruto's condition before leaving.
After several minutes of awkward silence, the sound of something breaking through drywall drew Negi and Sakura's attention to the closet. Before either of the two had the chance to investigate further, the closet's sliding door smashed outwards, revealing their wayward sensei, clad in a hospital gown, legs clenched together, and a strained look on his face. “Where the heck's the bathroom!”
“There you are!” accused Sakura.
Ryouga looked at her, apparently only now noticing the two of them. “Ah! You made it! Unless I'm not in the hospital anymore.”
“This is the hospital,” Negi confirmed.
“Good,” replied Ryouga. “Naruto's in a room somewhere around here. It shouldn't be too hard to find him. I think he's in room 414. I'll join you in a moment.”
Sakura gave him a flat look, then pointed at the bed containing the still unconscious Naruto.
“Right! Good job!” acknowledged Ryouga. “I'll be right back!” Before either of his students could stop him, Ryouga, bolted through the wall, leaving a second Ryouga-sized hole in the room.
“Wait!” yelled Negi, moving to follow Ryouga, only to abruptly stop. Turning, he faced Sakura. “Please stay with Naruto in case he wakes up. I'll go catch our sensei before he leaves the building.”
Ack! thought Inner Sakura. I should be the doing that! You should stay here! You actually give a damn about Naruto! I don't! “Sure thing,” replied Sakura, grinning.
“Thank you,” Negi called back as he took off after Ryouga, boosting his speed with wind magic as soon as he left the room.
Sakura waited. And waited. And waited and waited and waited. Despite the wait, Sakura showed no signs of impatience. Externally, anyways.
This is so boring, moaned Inner Sakura. How am I supposed to pass the time? There aren't any books or magazines or anything! All there is in here is a bed, a folder of medical documents (which I'm probably not allowed to touch), and Naruto. And Naruto isn't even conscious!
Sakura's eyes scanned the room. Nope. She hadn't missed anything with her initial scan. Slowly, her eyes drifted over to the documents. Hmm... it doesn't look sealed. Are those Naruto's medical records?
“Ugh,” groaned Naruto, slowly rising from his prone position on the bed. Unfortunately, despite his best efforts, he had not been able to come up with a better solution than continuing to use clones. Which, admittedly, he wasn't against. He just didn't want to get into trouble using them.
A yelp of surprise drew his attention to his left, where a vaguely attractive pink-haired girl was throwing a manilla folder onto a nearby counter like it had caught fire. “Naruto! You're awake!” said the girl, attempting to look innocent and failing horribly.
Great, thought Naruto. A nosy nurse. Oh well. Better start playing dumb. At least I don't have to fake being in pain. “Ow, my head,” groaned Naruto, raising a hand to his head. “What happened?”
“Beats me,” replied the nurse. “Apparently you suddenly collapsed at Ichiraku Ramen.”
“Er, you don't know?” asked Naruto, more than a little surprised. “Nobody knows why I collapsed?”
The pink-haired nurse shrugged in response. “How would I know? I don't work here, and I haven't seen any hospital attendants since I arrived. I wasn't even there when you dropped.”
That set off all kinds of alarm bells in his head. Someone who didn't work at the hospital had entered his room and was looking through medical documents. Was this girl a spy?! Naruto's eyes narrowed in suspicion. “Who are you?” he asked, hopping out of his bed and taking a basic academy stance (and actually succeeding at it, he belatedly realized).
The pink-haired girl stared at him in wide-eyed surprise, only to glare at him a moment later. “Not funny, Naruto.”
“I'm not trying to be,” he responded. “Who are you, and why were you looking through those medical thingies?”
“It's me, stupid,” replied the girl. “And I have no idea what you're talking about,” she finished unconvincingly.
“Alright, Stupid. What exactly are you doing in my room?”
Sakura tensed, but didn't move. She would not beat the crap out of Naruto for calling her stupid. Even if Inner Sakura was calling for his blood. He could be suffering some sort of brain injury, and pounding his head into the floor could exacerbate the injury. “I'm watching you while Negi finds Ryouga,” she replied.
“If you don't work here, then why are you watching me?” asked Naruto flatly.
“Because Negi told me to,” the pink-haired girl replied.
“And why would Negi get you to watch me?”
“Because we're teammates,” said Sakura.
Naruto stared at her in confusion, flabbergasted by her response. “No we're not!” he exclaimed, pointing at the mystery girl. “I've never seen you before in my life!”
“We ARE on the same team, Naruto!” growled Sakura through clenched teeth, barely restraining herself from lashing out at her idiot teammate, brain injury or not.
“No we're not.”
“Yes we are!”
“No we're not.”
“YES WE ARE!”
“No we're not.”
The sound of fist meeting skull could be heard throughout the floor.
“What was that?” asked Negi from the hallway outside Naruto's room.
Ryouga, intimately familiar with the sound of angry female inflicted violence, simply grimaced. Hopefully she didn't launch him out of the room. “...We should probably hurry up,” he said, deliberately not answering Negi's question. “Which room did you say he was in again?”
“That one,” replied Negi, pointing to one of the doors. As he did so, the door opened, and out stomped an angry Sakura. Noticing them, she turned to Negi.
“Tell your friend to quit faking amnesia,” Sakura growled, utterly failing to fake a pleasant demeanor for Negi's sake. She then turned and stomped off. She would later kick herself for forgetting to chew out Ryouga for his public indecency at the ramen stand.
Negi quickly rushed into the room, while Ryouga followed at a slightly more sedate pace. “Naruto! Are you okay?”
“Someone tell that fake nurse her bedside manner really sucks,” groaned Naruto from the floor, cradling his left cheek with his hands.
Negi paused. “You mean Sakura?” he asked hesitantly.
“Who?” asked Naruto.
Negi gave him a concerned look. Ryouga snickered, earning a glare from Negi.
“Sorry,” he replied. “The situation just reminds me of something funny that happened to someone else.” Waving it off, he turned back to Naruto. “Naruto, do you know who we are?”
Naruto stared at Ryouga and Negi in confusion as he rose to his feet. “Of course I know who you are. You're the other members of my team.”
Ryouga stepped over to Naruto, then grabbed him by the head and lifted him upward.
“Ack! What are you doing?!” yelped Naruto.
Ignoring him, Ryouga examined his hair. Then he turned Naruto's head to examine his face and pried open each of his eyes. Nodding, he dropped the boy. “Looks like you've got a concussion."
“Huh?” replied Naruto.
“A minor brain injury,” replied Ryouga. “It'll go away in a bit.”
“Are you saying that I know that girl?” asked Naruto.
“Yep,” Ryouga replied cheerfully. “Don't worry,” he added, clapping a hand onto Naruto's shoulder. “Concussions happen to the best of us. I'm sure it will come back to you eventually.”
“Are you sure?” asked Negi. “This seems kind of serious.”
“I know what I'm talking about, here. I've had my own share of concussions, you know. I once went two weeks without knowing who Ranma was.” Ryouga smiled. “It was the happiest two weeks of my life.”
“Who's Ranma?” asked Naruto.
“Exactly,” replied Ryouga, as he left the room.
Naruto turned to Negi. “Is Ranma someone I should know?”
“I have no idea,” replied Negi.
As soon as he had been released from the hospital, Naruto made a beeline for his apartment. Upon arrival, he went to his bedroom and prepared for a chat with the Kyuubi.
Alright, you bastard fox. What the hell was up with that?
Up with what? the bijuu replied.
Why the hell can't I remember who Sakura is?
Remember how I told you that you just about liquefied your brain? I was not exaggerating.
Naruto had a sudden sinking feeling. ...How much knowledge did I lose?
Actually, you didn't lose that much knowledge. The Kyuubi paused, and waited until Naruto let out a sigh of relief before continuing. It was mostly memories. The Kyuubi sounded immensely amused. Don't worry. You didn't forget anything too important.
Forgetting who one of my teammates was wasn't important?
No, it wasn't, replied the fox with a monstrous grin. Tell me, what do you remember of Sakura?
Not much. I... think she was a med nin? I kind of remember being healed by a pink-haired girl.
And that's exactly what she was. She was a pink-haired girl who you at one point had a crush on, who eventually became a med-nin. And in this world, it appears that none of that even happened yet.
She's still my teammate in this world.
Yes. And what do you know of her history before joining your team?
Nothing! I told you, I can't remember her!
Exactly. And now there's a reason for that.
Naruto stared blankly at the Kyuubi. The demon fox waited for a few moments, before its grin morphed into a scowl as it grew impatient.
You imbecile. This is not your world! You had no idea what your relationship with her was even before losing your memories of her! Now... now you have an excuse for not knowing.
Oh, replied Naruto, comprehension finally dawning on his face. ...Hey. Did you know that I had forgotten who Sakura was before I woke up?
Yes, replied the fox.
Why the hell didn't you tell me I'd forgotten my own teammate?
Would telling you have made any sort of difference? What's gone is gone. Pretending otherwise won't bring it back. Either way, you would have faced her without knowing who she was. By telling you about your lost memories, all that would have been accomplished would have been you reacting in a more artificial manner. The Kyuubi snorted. Keep in mind that we are trying not to be discovered, here.
Naruto snarled. He didn't like it, but he could see why the Kyuubi had neglected to tell him. Are there anymore surprises for me that you haven't told me about.
Hmm... The Kyuubi sprouted a wide grin. I wonder...
Naruto swore.