Needing Ideas for a Story

Me and some friends over in another forum are creating a story, however, we're kind of running dry of ideas, so I decided to post a synopsis of what we have so far, and see what ideas we get from this thread. A mix between novel and webcomic, with most of the story being told by novel format, and the webcomic portions acting like an MSPA. I have some concept art, but I can't figure out how to link it here, because the code style here in the forums boggles my mind.

What I really need is some ideas for certain things we just couldn't think of.

The Plot & Setting: The Plot and Setting:Jonathan Feller is a bored guy working at a dead-end desk job, trying to forget about how his marriage failed and dreaming of having great adventures. Shenanigans happen, and he finds himself forced to kill Cain Stellark, an Anti-Villain who is also one of the most powerful dark mages in existence.

But things go quicky wrong as Jon and his friends learn that they are pawns of a larger conspiracy, and that the only way to 'win' the game is to become the chessmasters themselves, and outwit their foes.

The story takes place in a undetermined city in the year 2093. Society closely mirrors the Victorian Era with its clothing, societal and cultural norms, and steam power-esque machines and magic rule.

In this story, a minority of people are born with magic powers. Although these Gifts are generalized, most people tend to be gifted towards certain aspects of magic, like how we're not good at everything. People born with Dark Magic are shunned, not only because their gifts are very destructive, but also because of the Corruption, a kind of curse where excessive use of Dark Magic twists your mind and body, eventually killing you.

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So, what I'm having trouble is thinking up of motives for the antagonists, namely the Big Bad and the Man Behind the Man. What do they want? How are they going to obtain that goal?

What also bothers me is lack of "villainous" acts for the Anti-Villain. Dark Mages, even OP ones, aren't threats when they just sit on their laurels playing Minecraft all day. What is he doing that forces the protagonists to act?

A few more things I can't think up of are 3 names for 3 men, 2 names for 2 cities, and a partridge in a pear tree.

Edit: Pretty much rewritten the post, and added questions.

edited 15th Jun '12 2:30:41 AM by Tehpillowstar

"Life is eternal; and love is immortal; and death is only a horizon; and a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight." - R. W. Raymond

Alright, a pre-emptive apology if I come off a bit rough. I sometimes underestimate how harsh I can be, despite good intentions.

But a little pointer: posting a Wall of Text describing your story to strangers isn't the best foot forward. So let's start by trimming down straight to the point. Two simple questions.

1. What do you think will most make your story worth reading? Why will potential readers care instead of not care?
2. What seems to be the problem — the potential area of weakness you'd appreciate advice on?

To answer you first question, the story for me is more of an experiment, a kind of "Okay, I always wanted to do X trope/Y idea. Sure, why not?" To be honest, I can't really answer your question right at this moment, either because I simply don't know, or because it's 11 pm.

The second question: There's a main Big Bad, but also said Big Bad is actually being controlled and manipulated by a Man Behind The Man. What do they want, why do they want it, and how are they going to get it?

(They're both Chessmasters, mind, and are willing to use reasonable gambits to get what they want.)

edited 14th Jun '12 7:08:48 AM by Tehpillowstar

"Life is eternal; and love is immortal; and death is only a horizon; and a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight." - R. W. Raymond

From what I can tell your story is way too generic and bland. Nothing really catches my eye as something I want to pick up.

Find something that you are good at writing (i.e. Brandon Sanderson magic systems, George RR Martin characters*

) and make it prominent in your story. (In other words what Killer Clowns said)

Then why didn't you wait to reply until you were more alert? We aren't going anywhere.

edited 14th Jun '12 6:06:06 PM by EldritchBlueRose

Has ADD, plays World of Tanks, thinks up crazy ideas like children making spaceships for Hitler. Occasionally writes them down.

I realized that I'm asking the wrong thing. "Advice" here is, "Well, this is what we think your story is...do this and that...." Questions get answers (usually).

I guess to re-illiterate, I'm not quite looking for advice, but answers to my questions so I can get rid of my writer's block, and possibly start writing soon.

edited 15th Jun '12 2:32:34 AM by Tehpillowstar

"Life is eternal; and love is immortal; and death is only a horizon; and a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight." - R. W. Raymond