Sexism and Men's Issues

I'd heard the term before. Thought it was spelled with a v, so never linked it with "big".

'Anorexia' just means 'not eating', as far as I know (I guess 'anorexia nervosa' just means 'a psychological cause of starving yourself'). Replacing 'an' (not) with 'big' doesn't make a whole lot of sense.

Which is not necessarily a terrible thing, names are weird like that, but if we're after an official medical name you might want the name to actually mean something.

edited 28th Sep '15 3:32:35 AM by LoniJay

The official medical term is Muscle dysmorphia, or more widely Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD).

Slightly off-topic explanation of words:

an- : comes from Greek, meaning "lack of" ( http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/an- )

orexia : this is an interesting one. There exists the word "orexis" in latin ( http://latin-dictionary.net/definition/28892/orexis-orexis ), meaning appetite / craving, but there's no clear indication that I could find as to where "orexis" would become "orexia". According to the latin dictionary, it's a 3rd declension feminine latin noun, but the only 3rd declention nouns that end in -a are plural neuter nouns. I'm not familiar with Greek, but it could just be a Greek word, and not latin at all, as noted here: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/-orexia?s=ts.

nervosa : straight latin adjective, meaning "vigorous" ( http://latin-dictionary.net/definition/27815/nervosus-nervosa-nervosum )

All together, anorexia nervosa means "Vigorous lack of appetite".

As for "bigorexia", that would mean ( in context - meaning we're ignoring the fact that "big" isn't really a prefix ) "big appetite" which only kind of works. But the aforementioned "Muscle Dysmorphia" works way better ( FYI, dysmorphia means body part abnormality and doesn't appear to be latin - according to what I found; I think it's entirely Greek ).

edited 28th Sep '15 4:03:44 AM by teolant

Change of subject a bit, but these posters are cool: http://www.oneinthree.com.au/news/2015/6/8/one-in-three-campaign-launches-respectful-relationship-poste.html

It raises awareness of male abuse victims, which is great. But it's also great specifically cos: 1) the victims and abusers are different heritages, so no profiling 2) male-on-male abuse is included, cos it's still abuse in a gay relationship 3) emotional/manipulative abuse is highlighted, since a woman is more likely to emotionally abuse her bf/husband than hit him 4) the posters stress the point that it's still physical abuse if she hits you "just" once or her hits don't hurt you much (like a slap). My ex would beat the crap outta me, but from what I understand most physically abusive women don't give beat-downs. They prefer hitting lightly and often, whenever they are "wronged" by their bf/hubby 5) it's made clear that forcing you to sleep with her is still rape, something more people need to realise

So chuffed this unrecognised problem is getting more notice.

on so much of what you said. I wonder if there's anyone complaining about these posters because 'men are never victims and should man up!'... ?

When an woman hits a man, we assume the man did something to deserve it. Even when we did not see any context, such as the events leading up to the actual act of violence.

I once saw a list of gifs showing women hitting men. It was meant to be a show of how women can be as strong as men, and can thus protect themselves just as well. While a few of the gifs showed what wrong the men had done (e.g. tried to steal her handbag), many did not.

The assumptions we make can be destructive. We should make less of them.

Damn, those are pretty great.

I see a lot of the "not letting meet your friends" and the other emotional blackmail with the people I know.

I think they should have included the bit "flirting with other people to make you jealous", because oh boy, I do see that a lot.

edited 28th Sep '15 7:27:18 AM by AngelusNox

The only thing I would add to that is a poster saying for you to have your mate's back and encourage him to leave when he confides abuse to you with a number for a hotline or something.

That is the only thing I think could be there. Otherwise, it is very good.

I am very happy about that.

Looks like a good set, I think something about how an erection is not consent could be handy, as that's a big myth that needs breaking hard. But yeah looks like a good set, I hope to see them appear in meat space.

Yeah, nice to see more people stand up for the cause. Got to beat some sense into some people. Figuratively, naturally.

These posters are great.

@Gab: yeah, that's a good point. They could do with a note on having your friends back when he's abused. A lot of "friends" accused me of lying when told of what my ex did. I think telling me to "tough it out" and stick with her was more upsetting than calling me a liar :P. Great advice dad, lol.

@Silas: "He must've enjoyed it if he got aroused" is very harmful. It's used against abused dudes to obligate them to have sex, and causes them a lot of "maybe I did like it? I did get a boner after all" type angst. Ugh. Hate that myth, especially when believed in by other men. I could maybe forgive a lady for being ignorant of male anatomy's workings. But not another dude. Come on man, we both have them and understand their workings.

edited 30th Sep '15 5:23:32 AM by OdinsLeftEye

See also "Not If They Enjoyed It" Rationalization.

I wouldn't underestimate ignorance. I remember having a BIO class where most girls thought that menstruation was a sign of ovulation and fertility.

edit- To clarify, I meant that there's a frighteningly common belief among the locals that a girl can only be impregnated while menstruating.

edited 30th Sep '15 8:30:30 AM by carbon-mantis

The female reproductive system is really complicated.

The wiki says: "In most girls, menarche (first menstruation) does not signal that ovulation has occurred."

There is also an unlikely possiblity for a girl to ovulate and get pregnant before her first period.

Back on topic, yes, there needs to be better sex education.

It is a sign of ovulation (as it means one happened about 2 weeks earlier) and is at least correlated to fertility in a general sense (fertile women usually menstruate unless they're pregnant). It just isn't a sign of immediate ovulation and fertility (though I think sex during the menses is not guaranteed to never result in a pregnancy).

Wait, what? (about menarche not signalling a past ovulation). Getting pregnant before the first period would indicate there was an ovulation (that would mean having sex shortly before the first period would have occured, which is unlikely, but possible).

edited 30th Sep '15 7:49:21 AM by Khudzlin

I posted in Women's Issues, if you want to continue the discussion of menstrual cycles.

You're right, it belongs there.

Thought this belonged here, just wondering

Do you guys have any advice on how to help teenage guys with issues like confidence and self esteem? I'm getting increasingly worried about my brother, who is in his final year of school with no idea what to do next and thinks he's a failure in everything. He doesn't have much of a social circle because he finds it difficult to fit in - he is also on the autistic spectrum so believes most people find him weird. I hate feeling so helpless at these points, I try to encourage him but it doesn't seem to do a lot of good.

There is a Psychology thread. In general though you might want to see what clinical resources you have that you can take advantage of, I know some people in that thread are more familiar with U.s healthcare stuff to know where you could attend or guide him to. Other than that you might need to be more specific on what is worrying him, or what behaviors seem to be giving cause for concern, as that sounds...

pretty normal for teenage years.

I've heard college helps.

He doesn't know what direction to go in, whether he wants to go to university or not, which he really should have sorted out by now! I don't think it's normal to constantly think of yourself as a failure, especially when you're just about to become an adult and have to have responsibilities. Will direct him to Psychology thread to see if that helps him.

This might be Americentric of me but a lot of people in my country don't figure out a direction in life until at least a couple years into college. They go to college because they're expected to go to college, faff around for a while, and then finally hit on something they're passionate about.

UK uni is very different from American college, you need to know what you degree is going to be in before you apply, instead of the US system of going then working out what you major in.