Marty Stu or no?

I've been writing a story for some time, and it'll all be told from the point of one main character's posthumous journal of sorts. But, after my discovery, I'm a little concerned about him being a Marty Stu.

He's a god. He knows he's a god and knows the full extent of his powers. He is surrounded by several (hundred) other gods of the same rank, and he is physically resrained from fighting opponents not similar to his power and not trying to kill him. If the collective powers of an army meet his, that's also fair game.

His appearance is nothing like mine, aside from the black hair. He's around 5"7, attractive but not uber-handsome. He has jet-black eyes due to hereditary traits. His real name is Jayden, but he uses the title of Ace due to it carrying the significant influence of his family. His hairstyle has bangs covering his right eye, and I have been trying to imitate this in order to realistically write about what sorts of disadvantages this could provide.

His personality is affable and friendly, but can be bitterly sarcastic and snarky if he is so inclined. People who don't like him usually warm up to him or at least respect him. People that are distrustful or cold (like Tabitha from Zero No Tsukaima) may just not interact with him. He'll still help them out, but they will not appear much due to the story being told from his point of view. He is usually right, but not perfect, and does make mistakes, which he does get called out and punished on.

His past was normal, albeit somewhat strict. His father and mother divorced at a young age due to her being an Infernal and his father being a Celestial. After his childhood (several hundred years) with his father had passed, his father and mother fought, his mother killed his father, and he picked up his father's gun and killed his mother. He does not brood or angst about it, but he will get quiet or ignore you if you ask him about it.

As for unique advantages: The "heriditary rights" i was talking about is him being the Black Ace, which grants him control over the second largest crime syndicate on the world he frequents. He looks Japanese-Italiano as the race gets him respect in his world's equivalant of the Eastern and Western crime factions. This is normal power as far as his rank goes, but it is a unique position. He is a master of gambling due to hereditary traits and training from a young age, and as a reault is able to tell lies if he concentrates. He is rather weak for his rank so far as fighting goes, but makes up for it by being a tactical genius, able to divine weaknesses quickly and think of the best way and time to attack. If he is given time to think about it, his plans will rarely fail.

For his flaws: Anger is a big one. He is difficult to anger, but once he is angry, he will not stop until he kills his target. He is normally extremely loyal to his friends, but will throw them into buildings and kick them through walls if they get in his way while he's mad. Worrying is also another thing. He directs as much as he fights, and whenever he has to send someone he cares about, he becomes neurotic and distracted easily.

He's also a cold-blooded murderer, unnhindered by things like the Geneva Convention. I first wanted to make it so he was a master of physical interrogation, but after a lot of input, I've decided to instead make him the master of verbal interrogation and psychological play. Due to a past event that got his friend's little sister killed, he never spares opponents. Even bound, gagged, and helpless or possible that they could be redeemed.

These flaws do play major parts in his story. And, although he never gets over them, they cause him major problems.

His powers are standard as far as god-dom goes. Super-strength, super speed, ability to fly, etc.

His clothes consist of three layers: Over his upper and lower torso: a black trenchcoat that regulated temperature and protects against magic-based attacks. His blazer and jeans are underneath that, allowing him to survive physical trauma, like swords or buildings. His silk shirt underneath it for comfort. He also wears a fedora, to protect his head from much the same.

His weapons consist of a baseball bat and a desert eagle .50. The baseball bat has and activated force field that multiplies the force of his blow by up to three billion. It can morph into a chainsaw and the force field is arranged along the blade that makes the wounds it inflicts explode open.

His desert eagle .50 is his father's. It uses his energy to make the bullets, and fires them. The "clips" overheat after about 7 rounds apiece before being unable to fire, but the cooling chamber on his belt will cool them quickly enough so that only 2 clips are required to maintain the illusion of infinite ammo. This gun can morph into a Thompson with no overheat that fires bullets that have the impact of LAW rockets.

All things I have listed here play major roles in the story. And even though he's extrodinarily powerful by our standards, he fights Eldritch Abominations as his main job, and frequently needs help and always goes out in a group of 3 or more.

edited 30th Apr '12 11:16:11 AM by gameknight102xx

I'm not sure how often you've heard this, but we need to see this guy in action before we can make any judgements on him as a character. Depending on how you write him, he can be brain-hurtingly Stuish or too engaging and interesting for the audience to notice. Any of those flaws you gave can be spun back around into or portrayed as positive, making them not really flaws at all. That's not something we can tell from a profile.

edited 4th Apr '12 3:56:32 PM by CrystalGlacia

According to the way you've described him, he's not even close to being a Marty Stu.

Considering he is a god among several, he has little more than the bare minimum "specialness" to be the protagonist.

Still, like it has been said, it depends on the execution. If he still warps the plot in his favor, he could be one.

edited 4th Apr '12 4:03:06 PM by Teraus

The whole god thing is very confusing.

Meh, the only part that concerns me is the "people tend to like him" bit, but yeah, we'd need to see him in action to judge.

The god thing is exactly what is sounds like. Upon further reflection, it may be more accurate to say "Angel", but I'd like to avoid that stereotype and they act nothing like angels. He has powers people associate with gods (e.g. Able to destroy and create life) but he's in it with a literal army of others.

People tend to like him because he doesn't go out of his way to annoy people. He's simply likable, which I've seen enough in Real Life to know it isn't way out there.

I'll try finding the part about him and his Morality Pet in a standard morning together, and I'll post it. This is my first post, so I don't really know my way around yet.

edited 4th Apr '12 4:09:24 PM by gameknight102xx

People worry too hard about trying to please the Mary Sue Police.

edited 4th Apr '12 7:28:31 PM by DrStarky

This. So much.

Which can result in ridiculously boring characters.

edited 4th Apr '12 6:21:42 PM by gameknight102xx

Truer words have not often been spoken.

Although I'm not sure this is quite as insignificant a concern as you make it out to be, given how often the people worrying about this don't actually know what really makes a Mary Sue (of course, neither do most of the "police").

If you met someone who called himself Ace, what would you think of him. Frankly my first reaction is 'wanker'. He may well deserve 'Ace', but I'm thinking first impressions (note, this is addressed at the character, not the author!)

No offense taken. And honestly, I might do the exact same if I had no idea who he was and just heard him call himself "Ace"

edited 6th Apr '12 1:19:39 PM by gameknight102xx

I'm pretty sure there are people out there actually named Ace, so I'm not sure I see the problem with it.

Also, what does this have to do with the thread?

Most likely he was pointing out how Ace sounds like a Marty Stu name (e.g. Hunter, Shadow, Safhar A'alona Worthington-Smythe, etc.) but he seems to have read why this name is necessary.

While many people say that people shouldn't be worried about upsetting the metaphorical Mary Sue police, and I mostly agree, there exists, in my opinion, a writing pitfall intimately tied to the concept of a Mary Sue that a writer should be very careful to avoid, or at least minimize: Superfluous traits in a character.

What I mean by superfluous trait is an aspect of a character that serves no role in the narrative or characterization, and lacks any artistic or escapist (Rule of Fun) reason for being there in the first place.

I'm not sure if there is such a thing as "superfluous" traits - even those stereotypically associated with a Mary Sue serve a narrative purpose, just not necessarily a good one.

I've seen many cases of so called Mary Sues who apparently have "beautiful singing voices" for example, that only seem to get mentioned to emphasize how special and perfect that character is.

Less sever are cases of the narrative being essentially halted to exposition traits of a character which accomplish practically nothing.

So it's not that these events contribute NOTHING to the narrative, it's that the space on the page the inclusion such traits takes up is significantly greater than the overall contribution to the narrative.

(and of course, there are exceptions to absolutely every piece of writing advice.)

edited 25th Apr '12 10:47:13 AM by Archereon

Mary Sues aren't determined by the characters, but how the story treats them. If your character is always right, and his flaws (like anger) never actually cause him any problems, then he could be a Sue. Otherwise, no.

edited 25th Apr '12 11:37:26 AM by RTaco

So, to summarize: Your character is a god, has a Dark and Troubled Past, is some kind of Infernal-Celestial-Italian-Japanese hybrid, controls his own crime syndicate, is a super-genius who can detect lies, and has "standard" super-powers like super-strength and super-speed?

Yes, your character is a Marty Stu.

My advice: Take the above list and cut out at least half of those traits.

Before you do what suggested, you should probably give some of the people here a sample of your work, or make them beta readers, so we'd get enough context on whether or not this guy really is a stu.

Let's see... a psychopathic half-Japanese, half-Italian god with a dark past, divorce parents, rampant expospeak, and sounds more like an idealized human?

Marty Sue. Probably as bad as Rose Potter in terms of sympathy, too.

Hey, look, it's a bunch of people missing the whole point of context-sensitivity and making an absolute judgment about the character on no story text read! I shouldn't be surprised.

There comes a point where a given character is so ridiculously overpowered that he is virtually guaranteed to be a Marty Stu, regardless of context.

This character flew past that point at "controls his own crime syndicate".

What if he isn't the focus of the story?

It's possible to have an overpowered character without the story being written so the whole universes bends over to kiss his ass.

He might be impossible to challenge, but he's not necessarily a sue.