WTF news headlines.

Toddler’s ‘Scary’ Pants Banned From Preschool

Man killed squirrel after fight with brother over coffee.

Syntax lessons wanted?

I thought it said killed BY squirrel at first.

CIA concludes Russia interfered to help Trump win election, say reports

Conspiracy! Conspiracy! Whether it's true or not, there are not enough s in the universe.

That's not really a wtf headline, just political. (Though with Trump, the line is blurred.)

Tupac and Robin Williams arrested for pot possession

Mars is warmer than Toronto: A scientific analysis of just how damned cold it is in Canada

As a Torontonian, can confirm; it is cold as balls right now.

California man faces misdemeanor for driving under the influence of caffeine

Clickbaity lying title. He got a regular DUI without conclusive evidence, and he's suing because of that (helped by the fact the blood test only showed caffeine — and hopefully blood).

Almost two tonnes of marijuana disguised as key limes found near US-Mexico border

I thought marijuana was legal now. Why would they need to disguise it? :hmm

It's legal in certain states like Colorado and Washington, but is still banned under federal law.

And even in those states, it's subject to regulations, taxes, etc. You can't just grow a bunch of pot in your closet and start selling it to your buddies, and you certainly can't traffic it in from Mexico.

Florida Man accused of plotting to bomb Target stores to manipulate their stock prices.

Daemon World Floh Rida confirmed?

@Eagal:It goes from being possession of a controlled substance to smuggling and tax evasion (maybe not tax evasion - the IRS has a part of the form that allows you to declare income from unspecified sources - still smuggling.)

Drunk man steals Keys forklift, "needed to drive".

On the bright side, the man who did this is not from Florida.

But he was in Florida at the time, so "when in Rome..."

Masturbation by men in Texas could lead to fines.

Oblivious Reality Contestants Live In Wilderness For A Year Despite Show’s Cancellation

Canada man's last name ruled too 'misogynistic' for license plate by DOT.

Well, they're not wrong. To anyone who doesn't know the guy's name beforehand​, Grabher just sounds like a Trump reference.

How other people interpret something is not relevant to whether that something is misogynistic.

But it appears misogynistic. There is no way for someone seeing that license plate to know that it's someone's name.

Yeah, it could be taken as a novelty license plate, even though that is the person's actual name.