NOT THE BEES
Portland Residents Are Desperate to Find the Man Pooping All Over Their City
This is actually kind of an average week in Portland.
edited 29th Aug '15 2:01:09 AM by Pykrete
You'd think poop everywhere would improve the smell of Portland, which already smells like washed up serial killer and police corruption.
TX woman during arrest: 'There's a gun in my vagina'
...bravo?
And the followup, Woman with pistol in vagina charged with unlawful carry
There have GOT to be better holster options.
edited 10th Sep '15 9:05:48 PM by Bur
i. hear. a. sound.
Char!
In local and regional news:
Man fined for driving motorised esky without a licence
and (different man in a different state):
Man's fight to legally ride his motorised Esky ends up in court
So an esky is a cooler with wheels?
Char!
An esky is just any cooler/ice box. Wheels not required. It's a genericalization like hoover or thermos.
You must agree, my plan is sheer elegance in its simplicity! My TumblrUS man sets petrol pump alight over spider
"It's just one of those things that happen. Stupidity."
i. hear. a. sound.
![[up]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/smiles/arrow_up.png "[up]"){kind=icon}
"The fate of the spider is unknown"
I dunno, after seeing that video, I'm fairly sure I know what happened to the spider. ![[lol]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/lol2v12_4863.png "[lol]"){kind=small}
Reminds me of the guy who blew himself up trying to kill a spider....
No longer a forum herald
Man thought he was attacked by hippopotamus.
I don't think the other guy was that fat...
Expergiscēre cras, medior quam hodie. (Awaken tomorrow, better than today.)
Oh wow, that happened a couple miles away from where I live 
He's lucky he hasn't been attacked by a real one. They are very territorial.
Woman Says She Discovered Her Long-Term ‘Boyfriend’ Was Her Female Best Friend With a Strap-On
The headline is weird, but if you read the article, it actually gets weirder.
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Angry customer assaults business owner with hot soup.
edited 3rd Oct '15 7:18:45 AM by TotemicHero
Expergiscēre cras, medior quam hodie. (Awaken tomorrow, better than today.)
The Weasel's Way.
Radical Islam is so dangerous, even the cows are starting to turn to Radical Islam.
edited 9th Oct '15 8:14:48 PM by NickTheSwing
Dog poop leads to fatal machete attack, shooting
To the surprise of absolutely no one, this story is from Florida.
i. hear. a. sound.
No longer a forum herald
Swedish "Bearded Villains" mistaken for ISIS cell.
Fear the beard.
Expergiscēre cras, medior quam hodie. (Awaken tomorrow, better than today.)
Char!
Duck Wearing Bow-Tie Walks Into Pub, Drinks Pint, Fights Dog, Loses
Edit: And also:
edited 14th Oct '15 6:51:43 PM by Luthen
You must agree, my plan is sheer elegance in its simplicity! My TumblrI want to buy that duck a pint.
i. hear. a. sound.
No longer a forum herald
Tank bought on an online auction forces British man to move house.
Huh, so apparently it's legal to drive around in the UK in a tank. You learn something new every day.
Snopes is skeptical about the builder's foam story.
Man dies after being run over by WWII tank on Jelly Belly chairman's property
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