Anyone else feel like they somehow don't belong in their society?

I don't know fully why, but sometimes I feel like I don't really belong in my society. There are many reasons I could choose from, such as finding wide eyed idealism doesn't always change things in the real world or that I don't necessarily like how a lot of people I know seem to lack empathy for anyone but themselves (note I said "A lot", not all...I'm not that cynical)...but somehow I just feel different and like modern day society isn't completely for me. It could be for the above reasons or so many others...I just can't put my finger on it.

I enjoy many benefits of modern day society, like the internet or video games...but at the same time, sometimes I wish I could just enjoy Walking the Earth and just help people (and maybe have a good fight every now and then, but I digress).

Anyone else feel like they just don't fit in society for some reason? Do you know why, if so?

I totally hate my avatar. Just saying.

So you want to be like the guy from Kung Fu?

I would not particularly worry about "fitting in society" or anything like that — personally, I just try to do whatever seems reasonable for me to do in whatever circumstance I am in.

I do not think that there exists a single person who "fits in" entirely in our current society, nor in any other than has ever been or will be in the foreseeable future: that just does not happen. If you can "fit in" enough not to hurt others and to stay in a decent enough physical and mental state yourself, you are doing fine.

This said, there are plenty of professions which allow you to do a good amount of Walking the Earth. If that's what you think you might be into, maybe you could try taking them in consideration?

edited 28th Nov '11 5:27:21 AM by Carciofus

But they seem to know where they are going, the ones who walk away from Omelas.

What you're talking about is a kind of wanderlust, and that's perfectly normal for everybody. Society is usually broad enough to fit in almost everybody. (That's what she said.)

@darkclaw: I'd probably enjoy life in a raider tribe much better than modern society: Looting and crushing skulls with a hammer looks a far more engaging career than a nine to five job.

You exist because we allow it and you will end because we demand it.

I actually have never seen that movie, at least I think it's a movie...

I suppose, but sometimes I just feel like something is missing. I guess I want to go on an adventure sometimes, but that won't happen too often...and other times, I just want to go help others and at least feel like the good things I do actually do help people.

Yeah, society can fit people in...but what if you're bored with the same every day routine and/or worry that society is quickly on its way to becoming a Crapsack World?

Personally, I identify with the idea of just Walking the Earth, helping people and occasionally fighting (like samurai to an extent...damn, I've watched too much Samurai Champloo...)

edited 28th Nov '11 5:50:10 AM by darkclaw

I totally hate my avatar. Just saying.

Then work to make society better.

Also, Kung Fu was a tv show.

@ Air of Mystery

You have a good point. But I'm honestly not sure what one person can do,. I mean, I'm probably not going to be able to change a whole society, even in my whole life.

I totally hate my avatar. Just saying.

You'll feel better for trying than for sitting around not trying it.

@ Air of Mystery

You make another good point, though I know many, including myself who have tried and then they end up finding their efforts don't end up changing much. Sure, it is nice to see a smile every now and then, but it doesn't solve society's problems at large. And as I see more and more of society's problems at large, I think that it contributes more to my 'wanderlust'.

I totally hate my avatar. Just saying.

Of course you won't change society. You're just one person. To expect to do so is foolish. What you can do is help out the people around you with their problems. That's really all anybody would rationally expect you to do.

As for wandering, what's stopping you from saving up some money, getting a bus or train ticket and going cross country?

That "something is missing" feeling is not going to go away. Ever.

But if you want to have an adventure and to help others, there certainly are a lot of possibilities out there. I don't know enough about you, your age or your country to be able to offer specific suggestions: but really, just pick a cause that you consider worthy and see what you can do to help.

And if you really want serious adventures... well, there are possibilities there. Plenty of them. They require careful training and planning, sure, but that's not anything you cannot get if you want it hard enough.

Random example: a friend of mine*

is a physiotherapist. She likes to spend her summers visiting an hospital somewhere in Tanzania (I think) and helping with the physical rehabilitation of little kids.

Yeah, she's not going to solve all problems of Africa herself, but she's helping — and hers certainly counts as an adventure (doubly so when she caught a nasty fever and was hospitalized for a couple of months).

edited 28th Nov '11 6:12:12 AM by Carciofus

But they seem to know where they are going, the ones who walk away from Omelas.

Or you could get together with like-minded people who want to fix society's problems, and draw attention to them by publically rallying. Maybe at a really famous and well-known location, like a street of some kind...

No I'd actually focus on doing small concrete good in the world instead of sitting around yelling for other people to fix things.

Better yet, investigate on what other people are doing, talk with them, and try to get a feel of the exact nature of the problem and of how your personal talents might fit in.

edited 28th Nov '11 6:15:09 AM by Carciofus

But they seem to know where they are going, the ones who walk away from Omelas.

@ Alk

I'm currently in my last year of my college program, General Arts and Sciences, and am expected to go to university by my parents and teachers due to my above average GPA (apparently in all of my college, I'm somewhere in the top 20% of marks, though I'm a case of Brilliant, but Lazy when it comes to homework).

After I'm done the year, I can't decide if I want to go into Scriptwriting, Kinesiology or Counselling. But I think I really want to just travel for a bit, train in various fighting styles and help people...though if I did so, I think it would make me and my family dislike each other (we're already in a platonic tsundere relationship of sorts).

@ Con

Do you mean analyze what is wrong with society and see how my talents could help fix things? EDIT: Sorry, I missed one of your posts. Yeah, you're right about the adventure thing. Maybe after my school year is done, I should just go do something I'd find fun.

edited 28th Nov '11 6:20:25 AM by darkclaw

I totally hate my avatar. Just saying.

Alkthash: I disagree with you, but there are other threads for elaborating on why, so we'll go back to the main point.

I think, darkclaw, you kind of want to be a real-life Hero. Right the wrongs, restore the kingdom, protect the forests, reintroduce folk-dancing, etc, etc and so forth. Regrettably, life doesn't entirely work that way. There's ways to adventure, no doubt, but not quite as fiction allows.

If what I suggest is true, though, then it's perfectly normal for everyone.

edited 28th Nov '11 6:18:50 AM by AirofMystery

Tell your parents that you want to take a year off before college, then spend that year doing volunteer work or an internship somewhere that they approve of. This is how I got to spend a summer in Mexico during my college years.

Also, depending on the college, you can sometimes get martial arts classes at a discount via the college gym or as a class.

Also-also, the wanderlust thing is pretty normal for teens. I've got a particularly bad case of it though; I'm in my mid-20s and tend to go for very long walks and get lost when I'm particularly upset about something.

"I don't know how I do it. I'm like the Mr. Bean of sex." -Drunkscriblerian

Yes, and yes. It would probably not be a good idea to explain why, though, or I might come off intending to be a heretic or something.

Wait, we were talking about going places?

edited 28th Nov '11 6:23:29 AM by Enzeru

@ Air

Yeah, I agree with you...except for the folk-dancing part. I cannot dance at all...yet. I might want to learn how to one day.

I don't think I'd really be an Ideal Hero, as I seem to be some kind of cross between The Messiah, Hurting Hero, Blood Knight and Chivalrous Pervert along with Knight in Sour Armor on my most down days...though I suppose I want to be an Ideal Hero.

@ DG

Thanks for the advice. I am part of my college's Martial Arts Club, but I haven't trained in a little while as my back injury is almost fully healed and I'm just currently re-strengthening it for martial arts. I'm planning to join a Hapkido dojo soon...but I don't know if I should, since I might leave town for a while.

@ Enzeru

I don't see why you'd be a heretic, but if you don't want to say why you feel like you don't belong, it's cool.

edited 28th Nov '11 6:27:02 AM by darkclaw

I totally hate my avatar. Just saying.

And keep in mind that the only way to lead an interesting life is to just go out and do it.

Not going to lie though, sometimes it can be scary, and you shouldn't do anything you've not planned and prepared for, but now is the best time for you to go out and explore.

I'm still pissed that my parents wouldn't let me go to Europe when I was about your age, and I very, very much regret not telling them off and going anyways. Now I have responsibilities and stuff that I have to do, and that's cut down on my interesting-ness.

You always regret the things you didn't do more than the things you do.

"I don't know how I do it. I'm like the Mr. Bean of sex." -Drunkscriblerian

If you try to understand "what is wrong with Society" as a whole, you are going to stay there for a while.

I'd suggest finding a specific problem and concentrating on that one. Talk with people working on the field. Do your research. Try to see how your talents and interests may fit into some sort of global strategy for solving or reducing that specific problem.

All the three possible career directions that you mention could fit very well in a variety of roles, really. And while you are working on them, nothing prevents you to help in a variety of roles — seriously, just give a call to your nearest soup kitchen or poor shelter or environmental organization or whatever and ask if they can use some help.

As for the "travel" thing... if feel like it, and if you can do it, I'd suggest you to go for it, at least for a while. It's an enlightening experience.

However, I must point out that, strictly speaking, you don't need to travel much, or at all, to do heroic stuff.

I mean, take for example Don Lorenzo Milani. He was a priest working in a city near Florence, and, after pissing off his bishop because of his annoyingly literal interpretation of the social contents of the Gospel*

he was sent to Barbiana, a minuscule and basically forgotten mountain town with way more sheep than people.

And, well, he stayed put there for the rest of his life. Oh, and he opened a school there — that was sort of his thing, apparently. And that school introduced a number of radical innovations in education, and did a super job of teaching his students (a number of the ludicrously poor kids he taught ended up taking fairly important positions later on) and published one of the most important books on education ever (really, anyone who is even thinking of working on anything related to education should read Letter to a Teacher).

Yeah, you don't need to travel the world or slay Dark Lords to be mindnumbingly badass.

edited 28th Nov '11 6:45:33 AM by Carciofus

But they seem to know where they are going, the ones who walk away from Omelas.

@ all above

Thanks for all of the advice. It means a lot. Sadly, I must go for a little while (I do still have school, work and homework :P), but thanks again :)

I totally hate my avatar. Just saying.

Yes, but in a different way.

I just find it all terribly boring. It's like the world is built to make sure as much time as possible is devoted to tedium. Everyone and everything is wrapped up in some kind of provincial, petty, boring, irrelevant existance devoid of passion and intensity. And those two things are big things to me, that's how I determine what I find worthwhile. Everything people around me do day-to-day is just dull, insignificant and I just don't care about any of it.

And let us pray that come it may (As come it will for a' that)

Can you give some examples of what you consider to be "petty" or "boring"?

"It is true that we are called a democracy, for the administration is in the hands of the many and not of the few."