Did I scramble this girl's brain too much?

To summarize:

- Cyberpunk anime spy girl snoops around a criminal base investigating a kidnapping / brainwashing conspiracy

- Ironically gets caught and put through brainwashing thingamabob herself

- Follows her trainer's orders without question and cheerfully murders the next cyberpunk anime spy girl who comes along to rescue her (who may or may not be her lesbian lover) using her own deadly mindhacking powers

- Character in question looks something like this◊

What do you think?

edited 20th Nov '11 2:06:51 PM by Dragonzordasaurus

Teens dress as Batman to catch pedophiles; cops not impressed

Well, it all depends on how hard your sci-fi is and how sympathetic you want this character to be. Is she conscious of trying to murder her lover? If so, then she's in an 'And I Must Scream' situation. If not, she's more of a People Puppet.

I've returned from the depths to continue politely irritating the good people of TV Tropes.(◕‿◕✿)

Also depends on the outcome you want and how you plan on getting to it. Does she ever recover? Who is supposed to save her? Does she get her memory back, and if so, how? Etc.

I'm pretty sure the concept of Law having limits was a translation error. -Wanderlustwarrior

Her original identity isn't aware of her current actions because her original identity was effectively destroyed.

There's no way to reverse the effect.

She's gone and isn't coming back.

Teens dress as Batman to catch pedophiles; cops not impressed

What is her purpose in this story?

That's the only way we can tell you if you went overboard or not.

What's precedent ever done for us?

Her purpose in the story is to get brainwashed and kill the other girl for cheap superficial tragedy and drama, basically.

Teens dress as Batman to catch pedophiles; cops not impressed

If that's her purpose, then, well, no. She's doing exactly what she's supposed to do, with no sign of coming back. What's the problem again?

I'm pretty sure the concept of Law having limits was a translation error. -Wanderlustwarrior

If I had to put it in words, I suppose I'm wondering if I'm being too cheap.

edited 20th Nov '11 3:43:43 PM by Dragonzordasaurus

Teens dress as Batman to catch pedophiles; cops not impressed

What was the character's importance before the scrambling?

I'm pretty sure the concept of Law having limits was a translation error. -Wanderlustwarrior

I have to ask, what does her personal appearance possibly have to do with any of this?

I assume we were meant to take from the picture that she was a sweet and innocent and stuff girl before the brainwashing.

edited 20th Nov '11 2:46:19 PM by Dealan

That hair is unfeasible.

But, err, anyway.

I'm pretty sure the concept of Law having limits was a translation error. -Wanderlustwarrior

One of the lead heroines. In the official canon, she goes rogue along with her might-be-a-lesbian partner after the two discover the spy organization they work for is all fascist and evil and needs to be taken down.

Granted, the mind scrambling process has simply turned her against the group she would have eventually rebelled against anyway, but now she's employed by equally evil scum and isn't exactly rebelling for the best intentions.

Uh... world building.

edited 20th Nov '11 3:41:22 PM by Dragonzordasaurus

Teens dress as Batman to catch pedophiles; cops not impressed

OOPS missed one of the questions.

Yeah, totally. I mean, even I'm not sure how her captors managed to get the mindrape helmet to fit on her with her princess curl taking up half of her head.

Teens dress as Batman to catch pedophiles; cops not impressed

To be honest, it doesn't really sound like her brain was scrambled at all. More like deleted. Just sayin'. Either way, it's tragic. Is she part of a larger story or is it just about her killing her potential rescuer?

He's like fire and ice and rage. He's ancient and forever. He burns at the centre of time. Rory punched him in the face.

Well, she remembers everything pre-brainwashing, so nothing was deleted from her mind. She just has a completely different personality now.

And the story is just about her killing her potential rescuer. The brainwashing has effectively prevented the original larger story from ever happening.

Teens dress as Batman to catch pedophiles; cops not impressed

Well that kinda...sucks. For the characters, I mean. It's sad.

I think it might be more interesting (to me personally anyways) if she ended up with a split personality or something.

He's like fire and ice and rage. He's ancient and forever. He burns at the centre of time. Rory punched him in the face.

What if I told you there was an alternate version where she (being all evil and sadistic now) decides to brainwash her potential rescuer into joining her new pals so they can be ambiguously lesbian partners again?

Would that make it more depressing, or less depressing?

Teens dress as Batman to catch pedophiles; cops not impressed

More depressing and less defiance of expectations. They just live happily evilly ever after...I'd go with the first depressing ending, actually. Depressing stories can be a lot more powerful than stories with happy endings, if done properly.

He's like fire and ice and rage. He's ancient and forever. He burns at the centre of time. Rory punched him in the face.

Was this done properly?

Teens dress as Batman to catch pedophiles; cops not impressed

I'm not familiar with the source material, so I'm not sure I can really say, but it seemed to be alright for a dark death fic, if a little abrupt. The abruptness actually helps in a way, though, since it makes her actions seem even more cold and matter-of-fact, like she just doesn't care (because she doesn't.)

I usually avoid dark death fics, but that one seemed to be handled well. Left me feeling cold, which I suppose was the point.

He's like fire and ice and rage. He's ancient and forever. He burns at the centre of time. Rory punched him in the face.