The Manor Darkly Is Not Enough - Maid RPG

DAY 1

His Supreme Darkness (the man born as simply Walter 'Wally' Drolphy) was worried. The leader of the Organization For Fragmenting Everything (OFFE), it was his destiny to lead the forces of OFFE in overthrowing the false order imposed on the world by lesser men. However, he was about reach the age of 40 (or the big four-oh as some of his men put it) and OFFE still had not achieved their inevitable victory. Worse, one of his agents (code name: Snookums) had been captured by that smug, arrogant AWNN agent Dan Jobsem. Without Snookums, who would make those funny balloon animals all the men seemed to enjoy? Also, what if Snookums crazy theory was right? What if AWNN really was so arrogant they had assigned only a single agent to protect the oh-so-critical McGuffin papers?

He sat in the throne room (formerly the ball room) of Drolphy Mansion and rang a bell, summoning a maid to attend him.

edited 29th Sep '11 9:02:37 PM by Nodrog

Berenice appeared almost immediately after the bell rang, looking as composed as ever. The fact she had made a mad dash to get there, stopping only the corner before to change to a more dignified brisk walk was something that the master didn't need to know.

"You rang, master?"

"Did a bell sound from this room? Am I the only one in this room?" His Supreme Darkness demanded, then frowned. "Er... I *AM* the only one in this room, right? I mean, besides you, right?" He turned, peering nervously over the back of his ornate throne to see if anyone was hiding there.

"We are the only people in the room and you rang the bell." Berenice raised an eyebrow. Still paranoid as hell, I see.

"I knew that!" His Supreme Darkness claimed. "I was just, er, testing you. That's right. You passed, well done." 1d6 favor points "Have we heard anything about Snookums yet? Do we know where Dan is keeping him?"

edited 29th Sep '11 9:28:41 PM by Nodrog

"Not yet Master." Berenice kept her face neutral, "The spies are working on it though."

"Tell them to work faster!" snarled His Supreme Darkness. "What are going to do? The party is in six days and Snookums was in charge of entertaining the men!"

"The deadline is in the forefront of my mind and Snookums shall be retrieved by then." Berenice stated, "Your party will be full of balloon animals."

Truth be told Berenice had no clue why a 40 year old man would want balloon animals but a maid's job is to humour the master... especially when the master has a self-destruct button somewhere in the mansion.

"Excelent!" His Supreme Darkness rubbed his thin hands together. "Gather up some of the boys and send them out to attack Dan, just so he doesn't get complacent."

He stood, gesturing dramatically. "Mock me while you may, Jobsem. My revenge will be all the sweeter. And it will be a deadly vengeance. It will be the deadly vengeance of deadly revenge!"

At the last word, His Supreme Darkness pressed the hidden floor pedal, causing a dramatic Crash of Thunder (TM).

The mansion has secret army. Roll 1D6 and RP having that number of agents attacking the Manor in the afternoon.

"Yes Master," Berenice curtsied before leaving the room. He was actually getting better at the monologuing - she didn't even cringe.

roll 1d6 = 4

She made a beeline for the barracks (as she had nicknamed them). Quite frankly, she'd want her enemies complacent but she wasn't going to complain. She liked her job even if her boss was on the slightly nutty side of the fruitbar.

Pushing open the door, she cast her eyes over the first four men, who appeared to be playing poker.

"Alrighty boys! Up and at `em! His Supreme Darkness wants you at Danny-boy's mansion, stirring up some chaos and pronto! And see if you can find where Snookums is hidden."

The four men immediately started gathering their gear, which brought a grin to the albino's face. Sure, it wasn't actually her orders they were following... but damn it was fun delivering them.

His Supreme Darkness sat in his throne room, grumbling. Then he realized it was his stomach grumbling, not him. Once again, preoccupied with his brilliant plan for conquest and world domination (always remember, conquer, THEN dominate), he'd forgotten it was lunch time. He rang the bell again, curious to see which maid would answer this time.

His Supreme Darkness was left hanging for slightly longer this time, but right before he was forced to ring the bell once more - and then administer The Punishment of Frightening Darkness upon whomever responded - one of the other maids crawled out of the broom closet at the far end of the room. Yawning mightily, Gemma arched her back in a langurous feline stretch and looked around the room for a few moments before finally seeming to notice His Supreme Darkness sitting upon his throne.

"Ah!" Standing up hastily, Gemma dusted off her cloak and came to attention. "Sorry, Wally; I didn't notice you there!" she apologized. "You really oughtn't sit in the dark like that! It's bad for the eyes, mum says. Would you like me to open the shades or maybe get you some candles?"

His Supreme Darkness hissed in displeasure. "Thou shalt mind thy tongue, girl, or else suffer my EXTREME displeasure! Curse be the day thou pestilent parent placed you with me! Once I am victorious, they shalt no longer be receiving Europe from me to rule over. They shall be lucky if I allow them to keep Cardiff!"

He paused a moment, to judge what effect this diatribe had. Seeing it was less then impressive, he stumped down on the thunder FX pedal. "Cardiff, I said!"

-pause for reaction-

"Impudent whelp! I demand you go and bring me... a sandwich! And use a regular plate this time. That silver platter is reserved for the head of Dan Jobsem."

Laying her ears back and cringing until the sound effects quieted, Gemma sniffed and crossed her arms. "Here, now - you'd leave us with the Welsh? You're mad if you think mum would ever let you hear the end of that! Besides, wasn't it you who said it would be good for morale if your lads had some nice things to look at when they're around the house?"

Putting her hand behind her head, Gemma leaned forward just a bit to demonstrate that while her cloak sometimes concealed it, she still had the curves that had landed more than a few of His Darkness's men in HR counseling for 'inappropriate thoughts toward a minor.' "I think this is worth at least Italy and France," she purred, her tail twitching to wrap around the long stretch of leg that her dress revealed.

Gemma flinched away again at His Darkness's demand for lunch, but only nodded after he was finished, a small pout on her lips. "A sandwich on a regular plate, as the Master commands." Bowing formally, Gemma turned and walked out of the ballroom, proceeding toward the kitchen in no particular hurry. When she arrived, she began searching the fridge and pantry for anyting that hadn't already been earmarked for His Supreme Darkness's birthday party. 1D6*LUCK=3*2=6 to find anything of interest in the Kitchen - such as peanut butter and sardines for the Master's sandwich. Yum!

edited 30th Sep '11 2:24:02 PM by Alhazred23

Amidst the heavy frying pans, the long butcher knives, bottles of hot sauce and various peppers, and ice picks, Gemma fails to find any potential weapons or other secret surprises. She does find a can of sardines, but it's the can she was saving for a midnight snack.

• * *

On his throne, the man once known as Walter Drolphy rubbed his forehead. The girl was the spitting image of her mother at that age, if one ignored her feline additions. Unfortunately, that included her mother's outrageous behavior and wicked tongue. "I just hope Berenice's strike force can do their job."

edited 30th Sep '11 3:15:45 PM by Nodrog

"Aaaw..." Looking mournfully at the can of sardines, Gemma dithered for a few moments and then stuffed it behind a half-empty jar of Horlicks. Instead, she selected a tin of cheap canned tuna. "Wally loves Chicken of the Sea - and tuna salad is easier anyway," she told herself, grabbing a loaf of whole wheat bread and a bottle of hot sauce at random before closing the pantry and opening the fridge to get the mayonnaise and pickle relish. Gemma rolls 1D6*SKILL=3*2=6 to make an unexciting spicy tuna salad sandwich.

Plating her finished sandwich on one of the convenient plastic plates that they'd stocked up on for the party, Gemma poured a matching plastic cup full of Dr. Pepper and placed both items on a tray. Gemma snuck in through a side entrance when she returned to the ballroom, appearing silently at the elbow of His Supreme Darkness with food in hand. "Your lunch, Master," she intoned, trying to keep from rolling her eyes.

edited 30th Sep '11 4:09:00 PM by Alhazred23

The Supreme Darkness was exercising his keen tactical mind with a pocket electronic chess set. As Gemma entered the room, his Supreme Darkness made his second move of the game.

"Move two... Black - queen - moves to... " the small electronic device started to say. The Supreme Darkness grinned. The foolish computer had fallen right into his trap. "H - 4... Checkmate." the computer finished.

"Your lunch, Master." Gemma said, startling him.

With a shriek remarkably similiar to that of a little girl squid His Supreme Darkness jerked upright, the chess computer flying into the air. "DON'T DO THAT!" he said, then saw the sandwich. "Oh, thank you, Gemma."

edited 30th Sep '11 5:36:29 PM by Nodrog

"Cheers, Wal- Master!" Gemma replied with a grin. Setting the tray on His Supreme Darkness's lap, the cat-eared maid turned to stoop down and take a look at the device her master had dropped. "Ick, you stuffed it up in four moves again?" she wondered aloud, before catching herself and looking up at her master with a placating smile. "It's just a game though, right? When was the last time Chess mattered to anyone - not counting that nutter Dr. En Passant and his overthought death traps?"

"Er... true, true." said His Supreme Darkness, quickly. He mentally made a note to fire Dr. En Passet from the position of trap builder. "How are things going with you and Berenice? You two working well together?"

Gemma was already busy clicking away at the game but she looked up to give her master a lopsided smile, like she was thinking of some joke that was almost as painful as it was funny. "Bennie? Oh, she's lovely; way sharper than most of the knuckle-draggers you have around here. Maaaybe a bit on the mercenary side, though." As a member of an Evil Organization, blackmail and backstabbing were to be expected, but Gemma was still a bit sore about parting with half of her first month's paycheck just so Berenice wouldn't tell His Supreme Daftness what she was actually doing when she went to 'case' the Jobsem estate at night. And I still don't know how she figured that one out...

Berenice started back up towards the Master's throne room, hoping that that blasted strike force was doing it's job. The Master may be a dork but he could be a mean dork who liked to make a point about how "evil" he was. Berenice liked her head attached to the rest of her.

She heard voices just inside the door and, judging by the accent, it was Gemma.

A bit mercenary? Berenice smiled, It was just a harmless profit.

Berenice decided to listen at the door a bit - it's not like she had any news.

"Oh good... good... You can learn a lot from Berenice. She's very, um, nice..." His Supreme Darkness falters, not sure what to say.

Just then, the electronic chess game in Gemma's hand plays a short bit of music. "Checkmate - Confirmed. You - Have - Won. That - Makes - 1 - Win, 0 - Stale - Mates, And - Three - Thousand - Four - Hundred - And - Thirty - Eight - Losses. Would - You - Like - To - Play - Again?"

"Hah, too easy!" Gemma crowed, throwing up her hands in victory. Standing, she set the game back on her Master's serving tray. "'Nice?' I thought you hired her because she's a fit bird who looks good in spikes?" she quipped, leaning forward to favor him with a knowing smirk. "So what would you like me to learn from her first, then?" Gemma's smile widened into a Cheshire grin as she rolled her shoulders and thrust out her chest in a manner that she knew made His Supreme Darkness intensely uncomfortable.

edited 30th Sep '11 11:50:48 PM by Alhazred23

Berenice had to stifle a laugh at the discussion inside the room. She could only imagine what was going on in there but knowing "Gemma Jailbait" it would be an amusing sight. She should probably be kind and merciful to the Master and walk in now so he wouldn't have to answer.

But Berenice wasn't exactly the merciful type.

This place is so much fun to work in.

"Er... um..." the master said, flushed. "No! Like, um, being a maid and stuff. IF you're going to help your parents rule all of Europe, you'll need to learn how to handle men... I mean, learn how to order men around... I mean... I mean... I mean, you forgot my drink! Berenice would never have forgetting to bring me a drink! Fetch me some iced lemonade!"

edited 1st Oct '11 3:40:50 PM by Nodrog