Help Me Write A Courtroom

The opening scene of this superhero story I'm working on starts in a courtroom. Problem is, I have no idea what courtroom proceedings are like. I'd like to add more detail, and lengthen it out a bit. Plus make it seem more realistic. Here's what I've got so far:

Alright, let's tear it apart.

edited 11th Sep '11 9:15:57 PM by KSPAM

I'm assuming Cassidy is the defendant. Then the case would be called "State of California vs. Cassidy."

I'm also assuming there would be a lot of public interest in this case. The judge might have ordered the courtroom closed (no cameras), but there should be a lot of people there either way. I don't get a sense of how many people are there. On a related note, if this defendant is obviously dangerous (and with 53 victims, I'd say Yes), wouldn't there be more than two guards? Again, I'd establish that the guards are there before they become important, and show how they feel about this assignment.

This one's more a judgment call. I'd start with a more confident judge. He'll believe that he's seen everything, that he's always in control, despite anything he's heard about this defendant. He'll be quick to call for order, i.e. keep the defendant quiet. He'll lecture her about the power of the state, the need for the rule of law, etc. The main conflict in this scene is between the judge and Cassidy, so you want him to oppose her as strongly as possible, to start from the most divergent position. That way her disdain for mortals seems more shocking, and the judge's distress is more pronounced.

Yeah, I just wrote this up like last night, so it could definitely use more attention to detail. The judge's flakiness is one such thing to work on, hence why this scene needs to drag on a little longer (so I can show him becoming more and more unnerved).

This story is supposed to be a somewhat-not-sure-if-it's-really Deconstruction of superhumans, so I wanted to establish right off that the world order is changing.

edited 12th Sep '11 7:26:12 AM by KSPAM

It seems good enough, at least on the courtroom-proceedings front. Also good general writing, which is rare enough on the Internet to be worth commenting on.

Well, first off, your defendant wouldn't get away with calling the judge "porky" or using swear words in court— they would instantly be held in contempt of court, which means they'd have an additional criminal charge added to their file; they would be fined or imprisoned. If they continued to be belligerent, the court might adjourn for the day. Your scene would not go on as long as it does.

Court is a lot less conversational than this. It's very formulaic and bureaucratic; there's almost a script to follow. I suggest reading some court transcripts to get a sense of the language; you can Google some. Also, why was she not given an attorney? If they're bothering with a trial, they should at least have provided her with one. She can refuse the attorney and defend herself, but it doesn't make sense for her to have never been given one. Here's a short guide on the court process, from arrest to appeal—it might help with some of the court formula.

I gotta say, on whole, I don't buy the scene. It goes by too quickly to be a real court process and it's too easy for the woman to get control of the situation. I'm getting a sense of The Worf Effect from the judge— you're making the defendant look cooler by making the judge seem weak. You can obviously have weak judges, but it's a bit cheap here. Remember the old advice about a hero being as good as his villain? It works with Villain Protagonists too— you should make your antagonists competent, because it's more satisfying when the protagonist beats them.

Another writing thing: Cut out senses/feels. Like, "Justice Myers felt a little stirring in the back of his mind. Fear. He felt vulnerable. Like at any moment, the girl could just walk up to him and tap him on the shoulder." It's far too blunt— it's telling masquerading as showing. If you want to give the impression she's dangerous, find another way to show it. How does she hold herself? How is she different from any other defendant?

edited 12th Sep '11 7:46:00 AM by Ronka87

Like I said, I wanted to drag this scene out, make the judge lose his shit less quickly. And this trial is obviously rigged, the fact they're having one at all is pretty much just for show.

Can I access court transcripts without paying a fine or anything? 'Cause some extra material would definitely help lengthen and strengthen this scene.

Take part of a day and go watch a court in session. Transcripts are better than nothing, but better still is seeing it. The transcripts won't include movements and tone of voice. All but the most sensational cases will be held in open court.

Going to court is definitely good experience. Failing that, you can try trial videos. Here's one of an actual murder trial, from jury selection to sentencing. For most of it, not a lot is happening— and there's 48 days of it. You don't have to watch the whole thing, though— day 13 is when the trial starts, you can get most of the opening script from there.

edited 12th Sep '11 1:27:52 PM by Ronka87

I've done trials in British Columbia, but not jury trials, for what that is worth. Other than OJ, I've never seen an actual trial in California.

Judges will give a lot of leeway to unrepresented litigants but I don't know of any who would tolerate that level of disrespect.

Try watching The People's Court next time it's on. I don't know if it'll help because small claims court doesn't play out the same way as the type of case you're writing, but it might be a good reference. Law & Order as well.

People's Court is probably a bad way to get a feel for it as it's significantly departed from actual courtrooms on purpose. Law & Order has a 50/50 chance of doing something wrong in any courtroom scene, but works hard to at least appear adherent to the formulas of courtroom behavior.

People's Court isn't very accurate to Real Court in Many ways, but it is in one very important way: The judge is in charge. That's the biggest problem I have with the excerpt; in a courtroom, the judge is in charge.

Yeah, but the issue from the excerpt is that the prisoner has superpowers and just doesn't care about the judge's authority. He can hold her in contempt all he wants; she ignores it. He can tell the bailiff to remove her, but she has superpowers.

Pretty much this, although the judge being a total pushover is still something that needs rectifying.

The judge is wimping out from the very start. That's the problem.

Furthermore, if the defendant has superpowers and the court knows it, they would probably put extra safety measures in place to ensure her powers wouldn't be a problem. And if they don't have them, that leaves a huge Plot Hole— how did they arrest her in the first place? She's clearly unwilling, she doesn't want to be there, and she has no problem killing people. They had to have had some way to control/subdue her.

Yeah, looking at from that angle, this scene just doesn't make that much sense. She could've gone willingly just to dick around with them a bit, but that's a pretty flimsy excuse. There are probably better ways I could do this, so I'm thinking I'll scrap the court idea.

It depends on the past events. If she thought she was going to get a fair trial and intended to go along with it, but then realized that the trial was not going to be fair and she was just going to be shuffled off somewhere, then that could be a reason.

I am studying law so I might help. The probem is that I am studying mexican law But if there i anything I can help with ask me.

People's Court was great back in the Judge Wopner days before the entire genre of over-the-top "reality" shows came to the forefront. Law and Order is fairly good although there are still too many antics that would result in a mistrial ("the question is withdrawn", "the jury will disregard the last question/answer"). That's my perspective as a Canadian lawyer. The basic problem with tv shows or movies is that days, months or weeks is crammed into minutes. In a four-day trial (about 15 to 25 hours of testimony) you might get one or two "gotcha" moments. . . maybe.

the peoples court is full of crazy antics. i watch all the morning court shows. bunch of idiots really lol.

on a related note, by grandpa has to report for jury duty tomorrow.

EDIT: Nevermind. Already been addressed.

edited 20th Sep '11 9:22:41 AM by Specialist290