Bullying and how to stop it

If the system is going to reject fighting your way out — and most do, now; and let's face it, not all kids are physically or psychologically capable of effective counterattack — then the only way to deal with the situation is to tell. And for that to work the teachers and administrators need to have effective strategies to fight bullying. Otherwise it's a Catch-22: damned if you fight, damned if you don't fight.

Don't assume it's impossible to make teachers care. I don't know what methods it can be achieved by, but I know I've seen it happen at more than one school.

Heh, a teacher's protection can only go so far. Outside school it's pretty worthless. The only way is to fight back against a bully. Bring a non-bladed weapon with you in school: pepper spray is the most common. Outside, get a steel pipe.

edited 8th Sep '11 6:11:01 PM by djmaca

The response to bullying is not more bullying. That sends exactly the opposite of the desired message. You absolve the bullies of all responsibility for their actions by conceding that they will just bully people no matter what. That is so wrong that I don't know where to begin.

You do realise your not dealing with fucking Stephen King bullies right?

edited 8th Sep '11 6:17:35 PM by JosefBugman

Who are you replying to?

I should add that the evolution of bullies is a gang. You don't fight gangs solo. It has to be nipped in the bud and for many communities, it's already far too late. This is what ignoring the problem gets you.

In my experience, telling a teacher is insurance when shit goes down.

Bullying is probably going to be the worst thing I'll ever deal with as a teacher.

Flying into a warzone won't be nearly as incomprehensibly difficult as trying to understand why a kid would ever want to do that to a peer...

I hope your like Onizuka

You do realise your not dealing with fucking Stephen King bullies right?

Yeah but you know how they are: they won't care as long as they have fun under the expense of your well being.

Some people are monsters, bullies being common. Even if you ACCIDENTALLY killed one defending yourself, it's a valid reason in court to say 'it's self defense'.

Again, murdering bullies is not the solution. Seriously, we are not in Lord Of The Flies, nor do we want to encourage that as a model for our kids to emulate! Nor are we in Enders Game.

Parents and teachers are supposed to protect kids and teach them that it's not appropriate to solve their problems with violence.

edited 8th Sep '11 6:31:00 PM by Fighteer

No. I really don't. Where did you guys LIVE? Buttfuck, Arizona ? Where everyone is everyone elses cousin and knows everyone elses business?

I rarely even SAW any people I didn't want to outside of school, is it really that hard to avoid them?

Adulthood is not about constantly getting into fights. The police exist for a reason.

I don't know what kind of teacher I'll be. I'm not there, yet.

And, yeah, encouraging violence is a horrifically stupid idea. Self-defense? Fine, you can't just sit there and be harmed. But the proper response is to get help, period. We need to focus on getting lazy fuckers off their ass and have them worry about the kids, which is their goddamned job.

I didn't say kill them, I did use the word 'accidental'.

And:

I rarely even SAW any people I didn't want to outside of school, is it really that hard to avoid them?

Try Ambush.

Parents and teachers are supposed to protect kids and teach them that it's not appropriate to solve their problems with violence.

Parents, yes. Teachers however is a different matter: In my experience, teachers are solely content in their presence in school. All they do is to protect the name of the school.

The police exist for a reason.

Yes... They can also arrive when it's too late.

His point (I think) was that authority figures act as deterents, but ultimately you've got to look out for yourself, which means knowing when not to cause trouble but also how to respond to an attack on yourself. The authorities can sort out the aftermath, but you've gotta stand up for yourself so you can be there in said aftermath.

edited 8th Sep '11 6:38:18 PM by Ratix

... Okay this is rapidly approaching "revenge fantasy" levels of creepy.

This is why you have legs for to run with, and a cell phone for to call people on.

edited 8th Sep '11 6:39:16 PM by JosefBugman

A lot of bullies are into athletics. Do the math.

So your both an expert on how smart most bullies are, what they are good at and what they do then, ey Tom? Got a lot of experience in this particular field?

We're talking about stopping the situation before it comes to physical violence of the sort that might require such measures. If someone is getting ambushed in the streets, the system has failed, and badly.

I won't argue with you if the kid who is being bullied is an athlete... But if it's a fat kid who does limited exercise...

edited 8th Sep '11 6:43:13 PM by djmaca

As for my bullying experience... I've never experienced anything life-threatening or systemically traumatic like others have discussed. I was known as the class clown, so I think that deflected a lot of potential abuse. I do remember getting into a scuffle in middle school (got a week of in-school suspension for that, though I think the guy who egged me on got two so I'm not bitter about that), and years later, very nearly picking a fight with a guy who would have floored me if he hadn't held back. That taught me to not seek out confrontations needlessly.

Quite a bit of firsthand experience both in how/who they are and how to counter them.

Tom does work at a school...

Actually, now that I think about it, what is it like to see school life from that perspective, Tom? You must have relevant stories to share...

So, Tom, say you're a teacher. A kid in your class is getting bullied (edit: serious bullying, of the threats of violence or psychological torture kind) and comes to you for help. You tell him: (a) Suck it up kid and fight back; (b) Tattletale!; (c) ?

Then what do you tell his parents when he is killed or commits suicide?

edited 8th Sep '11 7:00:17 PM by Fighteer

This is what we call "anecdote" as opposed to "experience". Just because your bullies were like that doesn't mean all were.

"mine" or at least the few that I noticed, were generally just engaged in banter with me that they thought was funny and that I had no idea how to respond to. Oh and the one time I was physically accosted by someone he never bothered me after I told a teacher. It's why I am slightly more willing to give people the benefit of the doubt here, but I'd never suggest that all bullies are like this.