So I had an idea a few days ago...

Possibly for Na No Wri Mo but things military and civilian wise may mean it might not happen for that exactly.

Any rate, I had this idea for a semi-supernatural story called The Hotel dealing with a present day take on a already once told story elsewhere.

Synopsis:

Mr. Jones was just an unassuming man out for a weekend. Driving out of a deserted highway one evening he comes across a place known as the Starlight Hotel so he stops for the night. Once there he meets a blonde haired woman named Stella who is the attendant and desk clerk at the hotel itself. As Mr. Jones decides to stay around for the night he finds something highly unusual for the place. The service is spectacular, the food delicious, the lodgings comfortable all reminiscent of his best experiences and joys. Yet the Starlight Hotel itself is strangely empty. There are few guests and nobody has been seen to leave. It is there that he first hears strange whispers in the air but cannot make out what they say. On the second day Mr. Jones finds everything he found right about the place exceeded in every way so he decides to make it a weekend there. At a dance held that night in the hotel he meets Stella again who invites him to join in. As he lays down for the second night after the dance he finally can hear the whispers now turned audible voices as they come again. He finally hears their words: "Liar...Thief...Murderer..." wondering what that could possibly mean. The third morning awakes and the voices return saying again "Liar...Thief...Murderer..." and he walks over to the manager asking about if someone is making noise. The manager says he doesn't know what he's talking about. Disappointed Mr. Jones returns to his room where the voices come again and again, agitating him to no end. He finally yells out to make it stop "I did not do those things back then!" only to be met with "Yes you did...Liar...Thief...Murderer..." Late that afternoon he meets with Stella before dinner asking her if she knows about the voices. She says "Yes, I hear them too. It is what makes us who we are. We are all prisoners here of our own device." Confused, Mr. Jones heads with Stella as she says more answers will come. In the Master Dining Hall adorned with a mirrored ceiling Mr. Jones stricken by confusion and the sudden turn enters with Stella to find a sight to behold. A naked man chained to the main dining table with all the guests and staff of the Starlight Hotel there each carrying blood stained knives. Stella finally explains it all to the terrified Mr. Jones "This is the secret that hides behind the walls. All of here are nothing but sinners in this shell of a world. Confined to our prison we carve out the sins of other sinners. It is here where we stand forced into this cycle. A cycle which you must now join too Mr. Jones because you are the same type of sinner as some of us are, a liar, a thief, a murderer." The crowd begins to hack apart the man on the table filling the air with screams and blood as Mr. Jones tears himself away to get away from the dreaded Starlight Hotel. Hallway after hallway he runs through finding no way out. But he approaches the front door where he is greeted by the night man who looks the same as the manager he once talked to blocking the exit. The crowd from the dining hall, Stella included draws around Mr. Jones and closes in as he demands to be let out.

The night man only replies "Oh you can check out any time you like...but you may never leave."

*

As long as the hotel itself isn't sentient and malicious, you're good

edited 6th Sep '11 6:20:01 PM by KSPAM

Eh...The Godfather?

Either way, this seems like an alright story, although a tad too grim for my tastes. What I would like to know out of this is these adventures of the assassinlike mob. Throw in a karmic death for the main protagonist once the plot runs dry, and give an Or Is It ending with a new guest.

But like I said, I'm not a fan of the Horror/Mystery genre, so take these with a grain of salt. Maybe there's a cliche in what I said.

^^ I thought about it, but I figured it'd be creepier to have people more into it than the hotel itself.

Sounds like something that'd fit right in with The Twilight Zone and the song Hotel California.

Sounds like a good idea, but it'll turn rancid if we don't know more about the main character. I know it's just a synopsis, but if we don't know why this guy can't leave the hotel, or how/why he managed to find it in the first place, or why he seems destined to stay there, then it'll fall flat.