Why catlike people?
I've always wondered how Naruto would go with learning the gates, he's very suited for them with his already absurd chakra and healing factor. So either he'd become exponentially stronger than Gai and Lee or using them would aggravate the seal and he'd explode in a shower of gore leaving Kurama free once more.
himitsu keisatsu
Well... Shinobi are kinda supposed to be catlike, you know?
Cats are extremely good hunters, after all. They are agile, have quick reflexes, move silently and can stand so still for such a long time that their prey confuses them with a part of the scenery. If that's not hiding in plain sight, I don't know what is.
I'd imagine a catboy or catgirl would be an excellent ninja... if they weren't distracted by shiny things or laser pointers, anyway.
himitsu keisatsu seifu chokuzoku kokka hoanbu na no da himitsu keisatsu yami ni magireru supai katsudou torishimari
I don't care why the name is "Catlike People", but I do care about seeing Sakura nekomimi.
Rather than smart, I'd prefer to be wise. It would let me be silly more often.
World's Cutest Direwolf
The title's a reference to that speech Guy's dad had about how weakness can be turned into strength, like how stubborn people have integrity and hairy people are catlike. Guy'll give the same basic speech in the next section or so, which should make it clearer in the actual chapter.
![[up]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/smiles/arrow_up.png "[up]"){kind=icon}
Naruto's eyebrows are not nearly magnificent enough to let him unlock the Gates.
himitsu keisatsu
Sakura can't pull off Nekomimi. Too pink. Maybe if her hair were darker.
himitsu keisatsu seifu chokuzoku kokka hoanbu na no da himitsu keisatsu yami ni magireru supai katsudou torishimari
It's a pun on With A Catlike Thread, isn't it?
Off-topic:
Anybody else notice how Naruto drinks tea a lot, in fanfics?
I'M MR. MEESEEKS, LOOK AT ME!
himitsu keisatsu
A lot of people who don't know very much about Japan think that the Japanese only ever drink tea.
himitsu keisatsu seifu chokuzoku kokka hoanbu na no da himitsu keisatsu yami ni magireru supai katsudou torishimari
It's kinda hard to think up things like that, like what they'd eat and drink in feudal japan. Though I suppose you could just google it. Or have everyone drink only water all the time.
World's Cutest Direwolf
The Naruto setting isn't exactly feudal Japan, though.
himitsu keisatsu
Or go for the most likely option.
Some kind of alcoholic beverage.
Because, before people discovered it needs to be sanitized first, Water was incredibly unsafe to drink.
himitsu keisatsu seifu chokuzoku kokka hoanbu na no da himitsu keisatsu yami ni magireru supai katsudou torishimari
There are feudal lords, and it's very japan. Just ignore the batteries, computers and fridges.
That's certainly true, though that's probably a thing of the past for them too. Though I wouldn't be surprised if they invented internal combustion engines before they learned you should boil water.
edited 12th Jun '15 10:24:38 PM by Ironypus
himitsu keisatsu
Konoha is very Japan. Kumo at least is very, very different than the grand majority of Japan.
Also, there's the fact that in Kiri, it seems like people breed with sharks, so also not Japan.
himitsu keisatsu seifu chokuzoku kokka hoanbu na no da himitsu keisatsu yami ni magireru supai katsudou torishimari
World's Cutest Direwolf
More like Japan than any other country I can think of. The Dream of the Fisherman's Wife, yo.
(Man, it's gotta suck to have some weird mutation that's not useful enough to serve as a kekkai genkai. "Dammit, there has to be a power you can only use by having fingers sprout out of your head. Maybe I can do hand signs with them?")
Should I also ignore all those bags of chips the Akimichis like so much? You know, as long as we're on the subject of consumables.
Yes, you should also ignore the soda cans.
World's Cutest Direwolf
To be fair, tea comes in cans sometimes.
And so Naruto must drink mainly canned tea.
Apparently, Orochimaru has equipment that can be used to run genetic tests.
Besides a string of pre-known passwords and physical tells how would you guys combat a fight where everyone is using the transformation jutsu?
That one makes some sense, he is shown with computers and dank, evil laboratories.
- Sharingan.
- Sharingan.
- Physical tells and maybe rearranging some booby traps so that only the person in question would be able to notice them. Except that's outright stupid and liable to get other people killed.
Since this is a fight with everyone using the transformation jutsu, you're screwed unless you can just pummel them and sort it out later.
Ninjutsu is broken and nobody except Hashirama abuses it.
edited 14th Jun '15 6:50:57 AM by Soble
I'M MR. MEESEEKS, LOOK AT ME!
Sharingan is banned. This was meant to be that chapter where I lay down some more info how how the jutsu work and how you'd fight against them while I try to be clever in devising tactics, but after a few minutes of thinking I realised being clever is hard and the only two things I'd thought of were pre arranged passwords and punching.
Are other sensor abilities allowed or not?
It's academy students fighting academy students, transform, substitution and clone only.
edited 14th Jun '15 7:39:27 AM by Ironypus
What about someone screwing-up the details of transformation, like having weapon pouch on the wrong side or simply acting in a wrong manner?
Starting a new fic.
Uchiha Sasuke was a perfect fusion of natural talent and single-minded drive, and so it happened that he learned what Konoha's Academy could teach him and graduated a year younger than most. Rock Lee was physically incapable of performing ninjutsu or genjutsu and had no particular talent for taijutsu, and so it happened that he struggled with basic tasks in Konoha's Academy and graduated a year older than most. Still, he had graduated in the end, despite what some people had said, and now he was going to meet his new jonin teacher for the first time. He knew his teammates must be just as excited as he was.
Yes! thought Lee. I'm finally a real ninja, and I even have Sakura on my team! Can this get any better?
Yes! thought Naruto. I'm finally a real ninja, and I even have Sakura on my team! Can this get any better?
Nooo, thought Sakura. I'm finally a real ninja, and not only am I not on Ino's team, I'm stuck with two hyperactive weirdos. Can this get any worse?
Right then, the trio was distracted from these thoughts by Might Guy's entrance. Leaping into the room, he proclaimed, “Oh what a joyous sight this is! Before me I behold Konoha's freshest ninjas, ready to test themselves against the greatest trial of their brief careers! Ready to prove themselves worthy of carrying out the noble tasks with which their beloved village is entrusted! Ready to show their youuuuuuuuuuuth!”
Might Guy had a very distracting presence.
Unfazed by, or perhaps unaware of, the baffled stares of every genin in the room, Guy gestured his new students to follow him, taking them to one of Konoha's many wooded training areas.
Sakura was the first one to work through what the strange yelling man had actually said. “Sir, you said something about a trial and proving ourselves worthy? We already graduated from the Academy. I thought that proved us worthy.”
“It is a grand step on your journey to excellence, but it is not the only one,” Guy said. “Now the jonin will test you personally, to separate out those who require more training from the mighty third who are already prepared to represent Konoha to the world! Your test is simple. You must strike me down in battle!”
That day, Team 7 was granted a thorough lesson in the difference between “simple” and “easy.” Fighting Guy was like trying to land a solid hit on the wind, if the wind had a dorky haircut and kept giving you encouraging thumbs-ups.
Sakura would probably have dropped out before the others even if said others weren't such manic balls of stubbornness. She took to sustained, strenuous exercise about as well as a mole took to acrobatics, and in any case it had quickly become clear her hand-to-hand combat abilities weren't going to be enough to land a hit on Guy unless he was beset by a fit of narcolepsy. “Looks like this is as far as I go,” she said, collapsing to a sit. “Good luck! I'm sure you'll both pass!” Not likely, but it'd get them out of my hair, added Inner Sakura.
“Not so!” said Guy. “A ninja's fate is shared with their comrades. If you forfeit, your teammates may not continue.”
Two boys whose most cherished dreams rested on becoming splendid shinobi turned their gaze on Sakura. She did not consider it entirely fair, or for that matter possible, that they should look so much like big-eyed puppies at that moment.
“Fine then.” Sakura lurched to her feet. “Together.”
“Together!” cried Naruto and Lee in unison as they turned their attention back to attempted assault upon their new teacher.
“Oh what a magnificent thing it is to see the bonds forged in youth!” Guy called out, his teary, heavenward gaze somehow not affecting his ability to avoid every strike his students threw at him.