All Purpose Naruto Fanfiction Thread

I like the setting so I was trying to include everything. Also, the important characters would most be Kurama, not original ones. I was changing it just enough that it would be new-ish, I don't much fancy being another story that starts with, "Twelve years ago a Nine Tailed Fox suddenly appeared!"

If you believe it.

edited 27th Aug '14 3:15:20 AM by Ironypus

Yay, new BHUF! And it's trash! No, not in the sense of "disappointing", even though it slightly is. I kinda expected more vivid descriptions. To have the readers feel just how much disgust and suffering the little ninjas experience.

Speaking of suffering, what was the main difficulty you had in writing this chapter?

New Monster Lord, too. I have to remember where I stopped reading last time.

Rather than smart, I'd prefer to be wise. It would let me be silly more often.

The real difficulty is that there wouldn't really be anything too squicky for them in the trash. Particularly because it's really hard to squick out Karin (she worked in a lab for Orochimaru at one point) or Naruto (who's been there, done that and didn't even get a lousy shirt to prove it). I was gonna throw in Karin freaking out about an used condom landing on her forehead when she's cleaning the chute, but... I decided not to because it was too clichéd.

Instead of being a purely 'disgusting' job, it's more of an incredibly tedious and boring job.

Maybe I should've gone with my original idea and made them make a written version of Weird Al's Trash Day. I might still do that, actually.

edited 27th Aug '14 10:00:55 AM by IAmNotCreativeEnough

himitsu keisatsu seifu chokuzoku kokka hoanbu na no da himitsu keisatsu yami ni magireru supai katsudou torishimari

Well, yeah - it might not be too squicky for them, but part of the reason for that particular task was to squick the readers.

Rather than smart, I'd prefer to be wise. It would let me be silly more often.

Probably could've done more on that front, yeah. I'm not good at writing gross stuff, at least intentionally.

himitsu keisatsu seifu chokuzoku kokka hoanbu na no da himitsu keisatsu yami ni magireru supai katsudou torishimari

x9 If the ultimate revenge for most things is living well, the ultimate revenge for getting burned on a bad story is to do it better (overshadowing the original work optional, unlikely).

x7 He's not proposing that you break from canon completely. Most of the characters and setting would mostly stay the same, just tweaked to alter backstory and modify events.

I had an idea for a Dark/not-too-dark AU.

Minato survives Tobi's attack by teleporting Kurama into the Hidden Cloud. It's a last-ditch maneuver (say, he had an extra Hiraishin mark near the Hidden Cloud), and because of the action, Konoha is saved (temporarily) and he's regarded as a hero. Exhausted, Minato tends to his family, Kushina dies from Kurama's extraction, Naruto doesn't become a Jinchuriki.

Years pass, and with Minato as the 4th Hokage, the Orochimaru incident doesn't occur - or at least, gets stopped before the Hidden Sound becomes an issue. Minato raises Naruto proper, but deals with the dark secret that he laid total destruction on some poor, other village.

The Hidden Cloud, having a more advanced Jinchuriki program, was able to capture Kurama at the cost of much of their military strength. The Hyuga Incident doesn't occur; A realizes that Minato was responsible for Kurama's sudden appearance, but to reveal this to the other Kage would reveal Kumogakure's weakened military power, so he keeps quiet.

Problems:

• I don't think I can Hand Wave Minato managing to teleport Kurama that far - I want to, he'd still be exhausted after teleporting Kurama's mass, but still.
• I don't think I can get away with a Broken Ace Alternate Character Interpretation of Minato who would doom another village to destruction, just to save his family and village. But, given the way he threw his son under the bus, perhaps this would be a more endearing portrayal.
  • Teleporting Kurama to another location sounds better than teleporting him on top of the safe house where you stored your dying wife and newborn son.
• We know he has the ability to mark locations with FTG, so it's plausible that he might have visited Kumogakure and planted the mark somewhere, right?
• What becomes of Tobi? He fled after Minato removed his control over Kurama.
• Who among the Hidden Cloud would be Jinchuriki-compatible? They went to a great length to find a container for Gyuki.

I'M MR. MEESEEKS, LOOK AT ME!

About Minato not having enough chakra to teleport Kurama that far: the Kyuubi is made of chakra, right? Maybe, "cut off" a piece and use it to power the seal?

Rather than smart, I'd prefer to be wise. It would let me be silly more often.

You could get around the distance limit by having Minato use a seal to power the technique using Kurama's own chakra. That could also get around the guilt: Minato sends the Kyuubi "anywhere but here" and doesn't realize it ended up in Cloud.

I was also thinking about him using Sage Mode (since, apparently he can, and being Jiraiya's student, I figure why not), but with Sage Mode's power boost, it'd seem like he'd just as easily suplex the fox, or pummel Kurama with Sage Mode-powered Rasengans.

So, siphoning power from the Nine-Tails sounds better.

That could work too.

edited 29th Aug '14 11:38:44 AM by Soble

I'M MR. MEESEEKS, LOOK AT ME!

There has to be a Hiraishin tag in some desolate place far away from anything, like an old battlefield or something. Teleporting the Kyuubi away could very well give him the breathing room he needs to think clearly and realize that if he lets Kushina reseal the Kyuubi into herself, she would live (because it was retconned into working that way), and thus averting the crisis entirely...

Relying on "it was the first Tag I could lock onto" would explain that nicely, though. He doesn't really have time to think. Being actively malicious, though, would be out of character and kind of stupid, since he should know Kumo does not suck with its handling of its Jinchuuriki and that he's basically handing them the I Win button in the form of the strongest tailed beast. Admittedly, Minato is a complete idiot in canon, but it's not intentional.

edited 29th Aug '14 11:50:54 AM by IAmNotCreativeEnough

himitsu keisatsu seifu chokuzoku kokka hoanbu na no da himitsu keisatsu yami ni magireru supai katsudou torishimari

I don't want Kushina to live, though. Not to emphasize grimdark, but I hate writing her - the way her chains work, or should work, both in and out of combat.

The plot, or at least the plot points I've cobbled together in five minutes, would be:

• Minato dealing with guilt. The entire village hails him as a hero, unaware of his actions. His son wants to be the next Hokage and idolizes him. Kushina's death mixes into that.
• He sent the Nine-Tails to a random destination, hoping that it would be abandoned. He passes out from exhaustion however, and is unable to track the fox, or Obito, when he awakes.
  • Need to place a limit on how Minato's tracking works - he can't sense the mark on a being that's been incorporated into another person's soul, nor can he track a mark on someone like Obito, or at least not immediately, or without being in a certain proximity. This would give Obito a reason to stay away from Konoha.
• By the time Minato recovers well enough to attempt searching for the Nine-Tails, Kumo has already sealed the beast away.
• Kushina still dies, help didn't arrive in time. Plus mother-and-father dynamics can be difficult to write, and I hate writing Kushina's powers.
  • Not sure that Minato would lie to Kushina about it, either, or if she'd have a realistic expression of shock, or if the Power of Love would bind them and their dark victory together.
• Stressed relations between Leaf and Cloud, with tension naturally building up around the time of the Chunin Exams.
• Minato having to deal with the Uchiha, Danzo, Shisui, and Orochimaru.
  • Danzo would see Minato's act as an impressive, tactical strike on an enemy village and applaud him for it, but also use it as leverage.
• Minato, already having sacrificed lives, might not look so sharply on Orochimaru's field of study, and merely restrict him to experimenting on captured enemy ninja - under the condition that Orochimaru bear a Hiraishin mark at all times, just to remind him of his place.
• Minato becoming over-protective of Naruto, placing a Hiraishin seal on him (as a nod to Naruto's Jinchuriki seal in canon), and thus, Naruto still wanting To Be a Master.
  • The Hyuga Incident doesn't occur due to Kumo being weakened, so with Neji's father still being alive, Neji grows up as a kinder person, without being totally fatalistic.

I'M MR. MEESEEKS, LOOK AT ME!

From what I understood, most of the things that happen (aside from Kumo getting another tailed beast and some inner conflict for Minato) seem to be either beneficial for Konoha or not really a big setback: they keep Minato and Orochimaru, Danzo seems to have a positive opinion of Minato, no Hyuga incident. So I think you should try to generate some more conflict, here's some ideas:

• First of all, I think Orochimaru is too arrogant to just accept being branded with a hiraishin seal, but (written as being) smart enough to know not to complain, so he might accept being marked, then reverse engineer the jutsu from the seal, and eventually leave the village, probably because he hates Minato and/or feels that working for Konoha limits him too much in his pursue of perfection.
• Second: maybe write some kind of Balance of Power shenanigans between the mayor villages. I could see Onoki allying with whomever is the mizukage at the time to counterbalance Kumo having 3 Jinchuurikis, and Gaara's dad forming an alliance with A to counteract that alliance, and Minato doing anything possible to stop a war, since the fire country and, by extension, Konoha (which is now the only mayor village without a tailed beast) would be the battlefield.

1 2 We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be. -KV

If the Kyuubi ain't resealed into Kushina, then she's going to die, so you have a perfect excuse to kill her off easily.

Also her Chakra Chains work however the plot needs them to work, so you can do whatever you want with 'em.

You forget that people don't know that Kumo has three Jinchuuriki, and Kumo probably wouldn't make it public, because accumulating so much power might just lead to two villages joining together to squash them.

As for Konoha being caught in the middle, Army Killer Minato is more of a deterrent than a Jinchuuriki, much like Hanzo is supposta be. Furthermore, I think people don't necessarily know Konoha still has the Kyuubi in canon, since neither Mito nor Kushina seem to have used Kurama much if at all, and Sand seemed to think there was nothing in Konoha that could've stopped Shukaku, which they wouldn't have thought if they knew Kurama could've shown up at any moment to squash Shukaku like a bug.

Keep in mind that, if Naruto is in-character, then he'd basically be a non-entity. In canon, without the Kyuubi Naruto would be rather low tier.

edited 29th Aug '14 4:00:19 PM by IAmNotCreativeEnough

himitsu keisatsu seifu chokuzoku kokka hoanbu na no da himitsu keisatsu yami ni magireru supai katsudou torishimari

I didn't forget, I assumed the other villages would find out at some point.

About Minato being just as good being a deterrent as a jinchuuriki, that may be true, but it's an out of universe perspective, I don't think that people in-universe would agree. Some might, but I don't think Minato himself would. Same for them (not?) knowing that canon-Naruto was a jinchuuriki, what matters in this case is the in-universe perspective for someone from Konoha.

1 2 We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be. -KV

The important people who know who's who and what's what, however, would know that Minato is worth far more than the Kyuubi in terms of ability to cower people into surrendering.

Even if someone is emboldened enough to attack Konoha... he'll just do the exact same thing he did in the third war, and single-handedly win the war. Again. Worst comes to worst, he still has Sage Mode to fall back on.

himitsu keisatsu seifu chokuzoku kokka hoanbu na no da himitsu keisatsu yami ni magireru supai katsudou torishimari

That depends on how do they assess the threat level of each, and how are they used in battle. Minato would be extremely effective against most normal characters, but he probably can still be countered by:

• 1) another speedster, like A.
• 2) characters who can alter the battlefield (his special Kunai would just be removed), like Gaara, the 4th kazekage, Pain, Deidara, and most characters with earth jutsu or enough raw power that their techniques destroy the battlefield.
• 3) characters that can take a lot of damage, (because most of Minato's jutsu have relatively low offensive power) like Orochimaru, Suigetsu, Mangetsu and most jinchuuriki if they go into "v2" or full biju mode.
• 4)Flying characters (since Minato can't reach them in the air) like Onoki, Gaara, Deidara, Fu, or anyone with flying summons.

I'd say deciding who's more dangerous, between Minato and a jinchuuriki is situational, since they have different powersets, but a jinchuuriki is more threatening on the long term. Minato will die eventually, if a jinchuuriki gets old the village extracts the bijuu and seals it in another jinchuuriki.

1 2 We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be. -KV

Naruto still has the brains that learned Shadow Clone Jutsu in a few hours, though. And given his parents, he should still have more chakra than average, at least. Might even be high above average, Minato wasn't noted for his high chakra, but he does have enough to summon Gamabunta. And Kushina was Kushina, though how much of her chakra was being a Jinchuriki and how much was being a Uzumaki, I dunno.

Basically, if Naruto found a good teacher, I can imagine him doing pretty well. Although given canon, that doesn't seem likely.

Hm, not quite.

A is nowhere near as fast as Minato. Minato's movement is instantaneous. Once he's tagged you, you're basically dead, because he can teleport behind you twice, so that when you react and turn around to counter, he's already behind you again and stabbing you. A, meanwhile, actually has to move.

The opponents that can do large scale real state damage risk hitting their allies with those techniques and just because they move the kunai around doesn't mean Minato can't avoid everything they throw at him by teleporting it to or teleporting to any tag in the vicinity. Furthermore, he can and does tag people with the seal too, so you haven't neutralized Hiraishin just because you've moved his kunai around.

Jinchuuriki can be shut down through seals, as Orochimaru shows. Minato is way better at the whole 'sealing' thing than Orochimaru is (since he's supposed to be one of the best of all time and all). I'd be surprised if he couldn't make any jinchuuriki practically worthless in just a few moves.

Minato doesn't need to fly. Just throw Hiraishin Kunai into the sky and teleport to them. No need to fly when you can use Instant Movement mid-jump.

The problem is that Minato is very overpowered, which is why Kishimoto had to nerf his brain like crazy to not have him instantly win the plot. If he were as smart as he is supposed to be with his powerset, he'd have won at ninja'ing a long time ago.

Naruto has talent.

He just has zero dedication. Naruto, with his canon circumstances, required a massive kick in the ass (the Chunin Exams) before he actually started taking his job seriously, and even then, he's still half assing it even today. If Naruto used the massive talent he possesses, he would be as outrageously overpowered as he's shown to be in those power trip wankfics.

edited 29th Aug '14 6:25:22 PM by IAmNotCreativeEnough

himitsu keisatsu seifu chokuzoku kokka hoanbu na no da himitsu keisatsu yami ni magireru supai katsudou torishimari

Maybe it'd help that he doesn't have the Kyuubi, then. I mean, being a dumbfuck and being put down for, I dunno, twenty minutes while you healed up the gaping hole in your stomach might not be much of a kick in the pants. (Not referring to any particular event, but Naruto doesn't really need to learn from his mistakes, considering anything that could kill him would probably take out most of the country along with him.)

Without Kyuubi, on the other hand, he might get stuck in the hospital for three months after getting his stomach cut open. He'd probably live, mind, given the Uzumaki heritage and all that, but without crazy his Healing Factor he's going to have a long time being stuck on a bed and forced to contemplate his actions.

Although one wonders if even three months in a hospital is enough to get through his thick-ass head.

Some, like Gaara (who probably wouldn't get TNJ'd here and would still be a mad psycho), may not care about their allies. And teleporting to where exactly? back to Konoha? Under tons of sand? Into the middle of an artificial moon (if he fights Pain and Pain uses Chibaku Tensei)? none of those helps him win. And to tag people he needs to touch them first.

He still has to aim before throwing them, and wait however long it takes for the kunai to travel to the required position to teleport.

Also, those fights can be used as distractions, like if he's dealing with Onoki spamming Dust release on Konoha's ninjas while Deidara nukes Konoha. He may defeat Onoki, but if Konoha is destroyed Minato lost.

1 2 We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be. -KV

Although, he doesn't teleport directly onto his tag, if he moves to his furthest range which looks to be something like a foot or two, he could keep doing that and it'd be a bit like flying.

Minato can very easily throw dozens of kunai around.

Which he can throw very far, with great speed and accuracy. See Sasuke's accuracy in part 1, when fighting the Demon Brothers? Multiply that by a gazillion, and you get the level of kunai throwing Minato has to be at, particularly considering that throwing his kunai right gives a massive bonus to his effectiveness.

Minato explicitly makes everyone in Iwa shit themselves just by showing up, to the point that they engage the FEAR protocol the moment they think they see him.

Gaara would take approximately ten seconds for Minato to kill. The kunai would be stopped one or two feet's distance from Gaara. Cue Minato teleporting in and Rasengan to the face to end the fight. Boom.

(PS: Minato has to know the Kage Bunshin. That makes the Hiraishin absolutely break any semblance of conflict.)

himitsu keisatsu seifu chokuzoku kokka hoanbu na no da himitsu keisatsu yami ni magireru supai katsudou torishimari

Unless two tagged clones tried to teleport to each other at the same time and got stuck in 11th dimensional space, clogging it for Minato.

Whyever would he tag his own clones? Also, he and Tobirama can use it at the same time, so I doubt he'd need to slim down.

himitsu keisatsu seifu chokuzoku kokka hoanbu na no da himitsu keisatsu yami ni magireru supai katsudou torishimari