Pony Fanfiction Thread

Wow. Remember that picture of the blacksmith that I said needed a fanfic? Well I put up a challenge on fimfiction and somebody wrote it in a single day, combining it with this picture, and it's awesome. I'll share the link later when I'm sure the author wants other people to see it.

edited 5th Oct '12 8:06:20 AM by CDRW

Those arm things look a lot like Tech Armor from Mass Effect.

Also, I think I'm going to put The Griffin War on hold for now, maybe work on my King Arthur crossover or my Fallout Equestria story.

Okay, that's what I got so far. I just gave up on the cutie mark bit, and described other stuff about him instead. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to make it funnier? Is the bit about cunnilingus too much? Should I make a pun about lingua with her cunning? Should I tone down the references to Thirty Hs?

edited 5th Oct '12 8:45:55 AM by Sessalisk

Caaan anybody find me... Somebody to ♠

...What?!

Read this fanfic. It's very short (1.6k words) and you don't need much, if any, knowledge of Harry Potter to enjoy it.

Caaan anybody find me... Somebody to ♠

No, I was talking about what you wrote xD

Sess: Never read Thirty Hs, but given what I've heard of it, your ridiculous level was about on par with what I expected.

edited 5th Oct '12 9:10:56 AM by KuroiTsubasaTenshi

FE: Genealogy Story Run 7PM PT Sun, Mon, Fri; Expert Unicorn Overlord 7PM PT Wed, Thurs: http://www.twitch.tv/kuroitsubasatenshi

Here's the link to that story about the blacksmith.

@ Librarian: Okay. I'll try to finish going over the rest of your backlog chapters in the next couple of days so you can at least get those out there.

edited 5th Oct '12 9:12:38 AM by CDRW

Oh. lol.

I just felt like doing homage to it, because there's another story, PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP, which tries to copy Thirty Hs, but it's absolutely awful and not entertaining to read at all. Mostly I think the writers just read the original, concluded that it was very random, and then thought that being really random must be what made it funny. They didn't realise that you also need really flowery prose, noun portmanteaus that are made just to sound funny, stupid puns, and the occasional obscenity (placed in spots where it would be the funniest and most effective).

I wanted to show that making something else like Thirty Hs CAN BE DONE.

edited 5th Oct '12 9:16:49 AM by Sessalisk

Caaan anybody find me... Somebody to ♠

@Sereg: Will try to give chapter 2 a look when I have time. Real life brony friend is over and I'm finally getting around to styling my brushable ponies.

And while I'm here Chapter 6 is done and awaiting any final feedback before I put it up this weekend.

Reaction Image Repository

@Sess: His cutie mark should be a rotting corpse.

@CDRW: Will take a look at that fic.

@JT: Cool. I'll have a look. Also, just to clarify, that's just the beginning of chapter 2.

Also, I'm eager to know how the opening of my sequel to An Earth Pony's Guide to Magic is turning out so far. I want to know if my...style choice works or if I should change it (you'll know it when you see it).

edited 5th Oct '12 9:58:34 AM by Sereg

Don't forget the sense of timing. I'm sorry, but the pacing of what you just released lacks the (broken) rhythm of the original. You need to give it more oomph.

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.

Noted! I have to skedaddle for now, but I'll see what I can do to make it even brokenier than it was.

Caaan anybody find me... Somebody to ♠

edited 5th Oct '12 9:52:35 AM by VeniVidiPony

BUY A CAR FROM ME!

That's a Broken Aesop if I've ever seen one.

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.

Wait...it is? I don't see it. The moral that the aesop claims is along the lines of "don't fall prey to Small Name, Big Ego because somebody isn't going to buy your bullshit and call you on it." The events of the story seem to back that up quite well.

That's a hell of a lot of extrapolation.

edited 5th Oct '12 10:08:24 AM by CDRW

I'd say so. If Starswirl the Bearded was as powerful as Twilight made him out to be the troll wouldn't even have had time to go for his club.

On the other hand, where do you think Star Swirl got his reputation? If his reputaion is undeserved or a case of Clap Your Hands If You Believe, it should have been implied by the narration rather than coming off as an ass pull. And, when you're with a companion that claims to be able to deal with danger with utmost confidence, you could stand by them, as you do not expect them to be defeated.

If there's a sound Aesop here, it's "don't place your confidence on people who might be liars", but it needs to be set up better.

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.

But it was implied by the narration. You will never ever see something as arrogant as

and

repeated twice without showing anything to back it up without a comeuppance delivered on the third time. It's a storytelling pattern that's as old as storytelling itself. I saw the ending coming from a mile away. I was actually surprpised to see it played straight, it's so expected.

edited 5th Oct '12 10:19:26 AM by CDRW

I think the problem is that while the story works in a vacuum, it decides to use Starswirl the Bearded, who either wasn't a fraud, or hid it well enough. If this parable existed in-universe, then Starswirl wouldn't have been lauded as a great wizard, but as an egotistical fool.

edited 5th Oct '12 10:21:49 AM by PerpetualLurker

@ Lurker A valid point, but I have three points in return.

1. He's not lauded in any manner. Twilight knows about him because she's a massive nerd, but, judging by the reactions to her costume and the presentation of her fangirlism in the show, to virtually everybody else he doesn't warrant even a footnote in the history books. It's like asking someone on the street about the big names in medieval salt-production.

2. Being a powerful wizard doesn't necessarily translate to being good at combat. In fact, considering how we see Twilight's complex spells work, as well as her love for everything Starswirl, I'd say it's actually a safe bet that he didn't have any combat magic worth a damn.

3. It's perfectly possible to be regarded as both a great mind and an egotistical fool by history and your peers. See Mozart and Isaac Newton. In universe, and judging by the style of prose and so on and so forth, I'd say it's a safe bet that that parable was written by one of his contemporaries, who obviously didn't like him very much.

edited 5th Oct '12 10:39:25 AM by CDRW

I agree that Twilight respects Sar Swirl too much for it to make sense that this happened to him. Trixie would work better, but be too obvious with the fact that that's pretty much what's happened to her before.

You bring up some good points. My version of Star Swirl the Bearded, for instance, isn't actually very powerful r good at combat, just versatile, but he's well aware of his limitations (more than most ponies due to his talent) and is actually respectul of non-unicorns (after al, he based most of his spells on trying to replicate what they can do).

edited 5th Oct '12 10:47:24 AM by Sereg

@CDRW That makes sense. It's certainly a convincingly written parable in any case.

Is it wrong that I take more issue with the use of goblins and trolls than I do with the characters?

That might be so, all the more reason not to trust it. But, from canon, you'd expect Star Swirl to be some sort of Gandalf figure.

As for the three-part tale pattern, what I was expecting to happen was that either there'd be an opponent Star Swirl decided to flee from, or that the chicken would actually lear his lesson and stay by his side.

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.

Holy shit. I'm so tired I've gone into overly analytical pedantic robot mode. I think I'll go take a nap before I start being incredibly annoying.