Things You are No Longer Allowed to Do in an RPG

In pathfinder P Cs with lycanthropy give up control of their character to the GM when they transform in order to stop them from treating it like a blessing rather than a curse.

Normally the GM just describes them waking up wearing nothing but other people's blood, hands the character back and tells them to deal with it. Me, not so much...

Question not my madness, lest ye join me in it.

om nom nom of teamamtes?

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Amongst other things

Question not my madness, lest ye join me in it.

have you been going to 1d4chan for ideas or something?

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Oh right, it makes more sense if you're the DM. I was thinking of something similar to the vampire/spawn thing.

And, now you're making my Friendly Neighborhood Werewolf character feel boring...

Worldbuilding is fun, writing is a chore

I am to be more careful when using homebrew feats

This is neither fair nor balanced and took severe modifications

On a more funny note, Lyrics from bad horse are forbotten when describing my evil druid.

Even if she is a Thoroughbred of Sin

edited 21st Jan '16 2:49:08 PM by stevebat

Apocalypse: Dirge Of Swans.

Bonus actions don't even work that way; reactions do. Anyhow, that whole bit of getting an extra slot from somebody else's attack, I don't really know about.

Not gonna lie, though; the Cast from Hit Points bit and the fact that those slots take concentration are really interesting. Stackin' them up is probably a bad idea, though.

And the free spells are also probably a bad idea.

And maybe the feat should require non-Good alignment, but I dunno; seems like something people'd bitch about. Just dunno about making it a likely feat for a character who might have hitpoints be less of a... wait, no, forget the req and just make it also reduce HP maximum by that amount until the slot's used; I think that's how Geek & Sundry did the Witcher class thing for the D&Diesel vid.

edited 21st Jan '16 3:22:13 PM by Knowlessman

i care but i'm restless, i'm here but i'm really gone, i'm wrong and i'm sorry, baby

The best part was looking at the spell list

Boiling blood It's Hold person, but it requires a con save and deals damage and only requires a save at the beginning of the opponents turn so automatic damage hoooo

Blood blade: Why would you ever use this?

Blood puppet: Imagine having all the benefits of geas with none of the limitations. Also requires a con save because lel

Apocalypse: Dirge Of Swans.

-No longer permitted to use my psychic powers to amass an army of tae kwon do lizards. —By extension, not permitted to amass an army of tae kwon do fauna of any kind.

Yes, it worked. Yes, it was hillarious. Yes, the GM decreed it was a once-per-month thing. Yes, it worked on a space station. Somehow.

my Inquisitors are no longer allowed to shout "NOBODY EXPECTS THE (insert nation here) INQUISITION!" when entering a room

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NOBODY EXPECTS THE ORLESIAN INQUISITION!

any and all Monty Python references will result in immediate death *BLAM!*

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Drinking sewer water will not impress the paladin.

The only reason for them to be banned from doing that is because literally everyone expects the imperial inquisition, from petty criminals to uphive noble murderrape cultists.

• I cannot declare anything to be HERESY in real life.
  • At least, not out loud.

• I am not made of fire and it is wrong to persuade people I am.
  • Nor am I made of ice, electricity, earth, pain, pleasure, spiders, or money.

• I am not allowed to insert a random disaster into any list of problems/issues and act like I never said anything out of the ordinary.
  • Especially since I'm the GM.

• Elves, regardless of subtype, do not need watering and neither can they be used for firewood.
  • Halflings, on the other hand make for excellent tallow candles.

• No matter how soft she is, it is demeaning to scratch the ratfolk's ears in public.
  • This does not mean that I can do it in private either.

• Griffons are intelligent as well as being vicious little shits. I am to remember this before I try to commit Grand Theft Mount in the paladin fortress-city.

Question not my madness, lest ye join me in it.

damnit man, back on the halfling abuse?

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I guess it's a hard hobbit to break.

Forward, boys! For God's sake, forward!

you

Dopants: He meant what he said and he said what he meant, a Ninety is faithful 100%.

This◊ is not an appropriate thing to ask an Archangel if its okay to wear after making the acquaintance.

"You can reply to this Message!"

• Taserwire is not a thing.
  • I cannot make taserwire a thing.

• The recommended daily allowance of vitamin C4 is zero.

• The Ratfolk does not appreciate the giant hamster ball I made her.
  • I cannot use the Ratfolk as a mattress/body pillow.
    • Ratfolk do too have a sense of personal space!

• Playing 'stop hitting yourself' with a Harlequin gets real messy, real fast.

• If my players do not get the hint and run, I am to tell them that is what they are supposed to do. Not just keep throwing scarabs at them until they die.

• Grabbing the big, shiny gem out of the Eldar's breastplate and saying 'Your soul is mine' is a bad idea.

Question not my madness, lest ye join me in it.

Bad idea, yes. True, though.

Does that come orally, or only as a suppository? Because you didn't line the outside of it with spikes for her to trample the enemy and perforate them.

edited 31st Jan '16 3:32:32 PM by BlueNinja0

That’s the epitome of privilege right there, not considering armed nazis a threat to your life. - Silasw

The ninja has a point. That was just insensitive.

IDIOT! you're supposed to stick a det pack to it and threaten to blow them up unless they STOP! BEING! DICKS! FOR! JUST! ONE! MINUTE!

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• Not allowed to use the fire breath until we can positively identify the oily substance on the floor.
  • Not allowed to use the fire breath again until we can tell for certain all of the explosive liquid is gone.

• In-character, not allowed to let myself get hurt on purpose in hopes the cleric will use a touch spell to heal me.

edited 31st Jan '16 5:25:40 PM by Ashfire

• There is a limit to how many times the NPC shopkeeper can mistake the halfling rogue for a child.
• A horde of goblinoids with firearms is not an appropriate first encounter for a 3rd-level party.

That last one is exaggerated a teensy bit, but let's just say it was a result of me getting overambitious in my first time as a DM and biting off more than I (or more importantly, the players) could chew.