ITT: We are all Pokémon Trainers

Basket: <...ok, where do I start.>

<First, your calculus only considers possible harm, whereas any ethical actor is capable of both harm and good in equal measure.>

<Second, your thesis is that lifespan coorelates to potential impact of choices. But plenty of mortal, one-time choices are absolutely capable of infinite harm. Destroying the planet, for example, or extincting a species.>

<Third, the entire identification of legendaries with immortals is a false distinction anyways. Your organization is predicated on the notion that legendaries are mortable; meanwhile, as medical science advances, indefinite life extension is credulous possibility.>

<...also, we have empirical evidence of ghosts. Capable of consequential ethical action.>

<And you are a digital lifeform unconstrained by biological entropy.>

-rumble-

...

Basket: <...annd we're cut short. Parley, please don't kill my co-parent, it would make our daughers sad.>

Basker used Frenzy Fruit!

-A swarm of vines erupts from Basket, bursting through the wall and forming a tunnel to provide safe passage to the outside-

-the turret is shielded from the blasts, but the strikes on the door targets trigger the opening mechanism, providing access to the finish line-

Professor Banana: Very good, first trial complete.

Eleven trials to go. Please wait a moment as I reset the test, then we can continue as soon as your heart rate returns to baseline.

edited 30th Apr '18 4:16:11 PM by Tangent128

Do you highlight everything looking for secret messages?

Artoria and Mordred have found themselves outside and Bryn has provided healing to the latter, Artoria vehemently denying it and going to look for Corrin.

And then the building starts collapsing.

Artoria: "That looks bad."

Brynhilde: "We can only hope everyone is safely out. Being buried by rubble is no way to die."

---

Nearby, on a rooftop.

Julius: "I should have listened to Doctor Weiss. The plan was a mistake from the start."

Li Shuwen: -who is currently out of his ball and looking moderately better.- <I have no regrets, and I should like to fight those Lurantis again, should we cross paths.>

Julius sighs. "Time to go. We should check on Leo, make sure he hasn't gotten himself killed."

Li Shuwen doesn't respond, just looking out over Malie.

All are significantly abnormal in a normal world... All are significantly normal in an abnormal world.

-Lyra and Beowulf are blipping in and out, carrying peoplemoms in and out. Fluffles gallops about, Shaun leaving marks for the teleporters.-

"Dang that sure is totally poggers my good bitch"

: <...what's that noise?>

: ~I dunno, but it doesn't sound good...~

: ...y'know, suddenly I'm kinda worried...

: ...about what normally happens to villain bases around the J-Team?

: ~"what normally happens"...?~

-B O O M-

: ...that,

: <oh.>

---

-near someone, a Ranger and a Pachirisu riding a Latias might skid to a halt, narrowly avoiding impact with a large piece of debris, towing a large, levitating ball of Team Iron Grunts and screaming, popping into the visible spectrum-

Logan: AH, GOD!

Addie: <FOR CRIPES' SAKE>

Latias!Eric: <oh no oh no oh no>

Iron Grunt: Hey, that's—

Logan: NOT RIGHT NOW!

No mind to think. No will to break.

Silas lets out a loud groan and flops over across the finish line. <12 trials?!>

Silas is meditating, just letting the aura flow, <Okay... just one more... just ooooone more...>

Hacks has sat next to him, "Not a lot of fun is it?"

<No. But hard work pays off...>

"All this for a beam move?"

<Yes.>

"You know Hyper Beam would probably be easier to obtain."

<It would, but Aura Beam... it was amazing to do... and I want to be able to do it again.>

Hacks sighs, "You're always like this."

Channah: -slams a catatonic Iron grunt out of the way as she rounds a corner, bringing up the rear behind Talbain and co.- Almost there, see, there's a door -

-enormous crash-

The ceiling wants to battle!

Channah: Fuck. -sends out Titus-

Titus: -Bulldozes his way through the giant chunk of ceiling that has fallen in front of their escape path-

The ceiling uses Water Spout!

Channah: -as pipes burst above them and high-pressure water starts shooting everywhere, blasting Titus in the eyes- Oh c'mon... -tries making her way through the flooded rubble-

There is no disdain in nature, there is no humiliation.

The skidding Latias billows Brynhilde's cape.

They step between the Grunt and the Latias.

Brynhilde: "Kindly understand who just saved yourself and many of your co-workers from an ignominious and rather painful death. Let it be."

They rest one hand on the pommel of their sword, the other behind their back. They offer a half-smile to the Iron grunt.

All are significantly abnormal in a normal world... All are significantly normal in an abnormal world.

Shaka doesn't even turn to face Yvan as he makes his way to the roof.

Shaka: Hey there.

The tone is jovial on the verrrrry border of being mocking in nature.

I'm having to learn to pay the price

-Ever, recognizing Lucius, opens his mouth to say something snarky, probably along the lines of "pull the trigger"-

-and then takes in the situation as a whole-

Ever: ...Holy shit, Lucius, what happened to you?

-he turns to Liam-

Uh, hey, don't know you, but you're not in uniform so I feel comfortable in my assumption that you're not Iron. Sorry about the disguise, there's someone here I really don't want recognizing me. You need any help w—

-boom boom shake the room-

Ever: ...Okay. We should go then. You two need any help?

PEFE!Every: (to Liam) Wait, are you Lucius's brother? Hi! I'm Every!

Ever: Is now the time?

PEFE!Every: Yes!

SQL: <Interesting observations. I'll take them under consideratio—>

-a chunk of rubble whacks the Porygon over the head before they can finish-

SQL: <....Ow.>

Sam: We gotta go! Get on Nurture!

Sam: Right! Oh god oh god oh god...

Sam: Dude!

-she yanks the other Grunt onto Nurture's back, SQL is recalled, and the Tropius takes off, following Basket-

Dunsparce didn't stop being a thing or anything.

-Lucius barely even glances up at Ever, while Liam looks significantly more perturbed by the sound of nearby explosions.-

Lucius: ...I fucked up.

Liam: Um, what h-he said, basically. I, uh, promise I'm not with Iron, and s-seeing as I don't have any Pokemon with me we k-kinda have to go with you anyway if we want to live?

-Upon hearing PEFE!Every, he wheels around to face her.-

Liam: Oh, y-yeah, that's me! Are you the s-scientist he told me about? I'm s-sorry I never got in touch with you he gave me your number and I was just super uncertain about the whole thing but you sounded really awesome and cute and-

-boom, clap, the sound of my heart, the beat goes on and on and on and...-

Liam: ...and we should probably be l-leaving?

Trans rights are human rights. JK Rowling preaches hate. If you sit at a table with five bigots and say nothing, there are now six bigots.

Scarlette: ...You.

Rose: What the hell are you doing here?

Paula: What, isn't it obvious? I'm here as a Team Iron agent.

Scarlette: You what?

Paula: Iron. Team Iron. You know, the Team Iron that wants to kill the gods? The Team Iron you joined especially to get revenge on the J-Team? That Team Iron? Please tell me that poison isn't fucking with your memories too.

Scarlette: You— no, you're lying, you're no Team Iron member, I would have...

Paula: It's true! I'm pals with the leader, he let me in. We're tight. Ain't that cool?

Rose: Okay, seriously. What the hell? What are you plotting?

Paula: I'm just here to watch the show!

Rose: The what.

Paula: Honestly, though, I'm kinda let down, Scarlette. I did this shit way better. Like, all of it. The captive thing, the taunting thing, the promotion thing, and especially the collapsing building thing. Come on, really, you copied that?

Scarlette: ...

Paula: ...Look, the place is coming down too fast for any more chatting. I'll get this over with quickly.

-She takes a moment to finish off her drink.-

Scarlette: What are you...

-And then comes up to Scarlette, and bashes the empty bottle on the side of her head. Scarlette crumples to the ground immediately.-

Rose: What the fuck!?

Paula: She's in your hands now. As far as Team Iron's gonna know, she died in the collapse. Good luck, see ya, don't die.

-She rounds a corner and vanishes, right as the hallway starts coming down.-

Rose: Fuck, fuck, fuck, what now...

Pixie: <Wait! I think I can still try the teleporty thing!>

Rose: ...Dear gods, I hope it's going to work, if they still have teleport blockers up we're screwed. Gus, grab Scarlette and her stuff. Domino, hang tight.

-They nod. Gus pulls the unconscious Scarlette over to Pixie, and Rose and Domino grab on tight as Pixie focuses.-

Shoomp.

-The group vanishes just as the room falls in on them.-

-Pianis grabs the box of Fortis' belongings-

Pianis: Right. Which way out of here?

Noelle: We can't leave yet!

Pianis: I'm sorry, did you miss the part where the building is collapsing?

Noelle: I know, but we need to save Scarlette! I think she's the key to restoring that lost universe!

Pianis: I thought Astral was that.

Noelle: Look, there's no time to explain! Let's just go!

Pianis: Right.

-they both run off in different directions-

-then pause-

Noelle: Hey! Were you not listening?

Pianis: Look, I'm getting out of here and I'm 99% sure that's what Fortis did too. See you.

-and he continues running in his chosen direction-

Noelle: Honestly, the nerve.

-Noelle runs the other way-

Do not fear power... fear those who wield it.

 Team Iron "Safe"house 

-To the assembled Memitos, Cain, and Silverman-

There you guys are Arceusdammit all these lost arms, now let's get out of here.

Eating a Vanilluxe will give you frostbite.

-Almost all of group is out here, watching the collapse-

-World's Oyster notices Buoy and backs away slowly-

Yvan: You're awfully... clever.

edited 30th Apr '18 6:18:55 PM by Umbramatic

Contact Me!

-the trial starts as normal-

BZZZZZZ!

Professor Banana: Were you expecting a surprise final boss? This is a scientific exercise. Repeatability is crucial.

-Basket flies outside-

Basket: -to Sam- <So why can Sam understand me and you can't?>

-She sees the Latias, wingwaves-

Do you highlight everything looking for secret messages?

Shaka: That, I am.

Shaka takes a drag of the cigar

Shaka: You've got anything else to say on the matter?

Shaka is being rather brazen with this conversation and the way he's talking to Yvan.

I'm having to learn to pay the price

The three fishes land in the ocean, a bit surprised.

Jones: <...Oh hey, at least we landed here.>

Roxie: "Well, my dad's a captain, so I get where you're comin' from."

She thinks for a bit.

"Grimer, let's try Harden."

The Grimer's goop gets... harder. At any rate, she seems more equpped to take hits now.

edited 30th Apr '18 6:49:44 PM by CorvusAtrox

"life is just a series of increasingly canon-eluding ao3 tags" ~ everydunsparce "Keep your hellfruit away from me, tempter" ~ also Every

-The two girls, their dogs, and other associated parties arrive outside. Rose lets out a breath she didn't realize she was holding, the moment it clicks that they're not dead.-

Rose: ...We did it.

-Echo approaches. Mason and Evan, as well as associated parties, have made it out fine as well, and are recovering in the background.-

Echo: ...She needs medical attention immediately. We can get the story later.

Rose: R-right, yes.

-They carry her onto the airship quickly.-

Ever: (to Lucius) ...Yeah, a bit.

-he lets out a sigh, and turns to Liam-

Right then. I don't have teleporters, so we're going to have to book it. Breeze can take Lucius.

PEFE!Every: (brightly) And, yes, I am the scientist. It's perfectly alright; I can understand why anyone would be skeptical or uninterested.

(in a more puzzled tone) Though I'm not sure how someone can... sound cute...

-she tinges a little red-

Ever: ...There is a building collapsing on our heads. There will be time for gay nonsense later.

PEFE!Every: Right. I have Rotary, we can—

-Tagg-

Ever: Oh thank Reshiram. We need to go.

PEFE!Every: Dr. Tagg. Good to see you, but if the rest of you have adequate transport out... (to Liam) You have my information, you're welcome to use it. (to Lucius) ...And I can probably get you that arm back, if you're done threatening me.

Click!

-and she's gone-

Ever: ...Right. Spy.

(to Tagg) Please say you have Xatu around.

- Sam stares at Basket in confusion-

Sam: Uh, it's kind of a long story.

-they both pause, noticing Eric-

Sam: ...Maybe we should—

Sam: Let's just...let sleeping gods lie.

-she slides off of Nurture, flopping to the ground-

Sam: We'll get you...next time.

-...-

Nurture: <Wow, that fruit move was incredible! Could you teach me how to do that?>

Dunsparce didn't stop being a thing or anything.

-Everyone follows Rose onto the airship-

-Robin, however, confronts Dvorak-

Robin: What were you doing? You came out at the last minute!

Dvorak: That I did! But I got a ton of Iron files!

Robin: -sighs- We'll go over them later, let's just get out of here.

-They get on the ship-

Yvan: I know you have nothing to gain or lose now, which why I'll leave you be if you don't touch Salvador. This timeline's version of you, on the other hand...

edited 30th Apr '18 6:28:30 PM by Umbramatic

Contact Me!

Rusting Iron Base

Everyone ran as many attacks as they could into the ceiling in a bid to break it apart so they could escape.

Or they’d just exit if they could.

[Insert Unoriginal Stinger Here]

-Noelle and Pianis exit the building from opposite sides as it collapses-

Fortis: Oh my gosh!

Astral: <Pew pew!>

Noelle: Fortis! Are you all right?

Pianis: Wait, I thought you were going to get Scarlette.

Noelle: Okay, so maybe I got lost.

Fortis: Uh huh! Astral and me are fine! But where are all my birdies?

-Pianis hands Fortis the box of her belongings, which naturally includes her Pokeballs-

Fortis: Yay! They're okay!

Astral: <Pew pew pew!>

Noelle: What happened to Scarlette, though? Did she get out okay?

Do not fear power... fear those who wield it.

-Mason calls out to Noelle-

Mason: The one-armed girl, right? Rose brought her inside, she must have had part of the ceiling fall on her head and knock her out or something. Pretty nasty wound on her head.

Fortis: Okay! We'll be right there!

Pianis: I still don't understand what you mean.

Noelle: I'll explain later!

-Noelle and Fortis rush over to the airship-

Do not fear power... fear those who wield it.

 "Team" Iron "Safe"house 

-To Ever-

He's always around, whether you want him there or not.

Xatu: -Appears-

Xatu, get us out of here.

Xatu: -Blip-

Eating a Vanilluxe will give you frostbite.